Chapter 3

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spoilers: Kill Ari part 1 takes place sometime in between this and 2.

Tony wasn't sure how he found himself to be at Gibbs' house. Still recovering from the effects of the y-pestis combined by overwhelming fatigue from the past several days caused a fog to rage in his head blocking any sense of well... anything. He sighed as he stood in the rain in front of Leroy Jethro Gibbs' door. he raised his hand to knock once before changing his mind and lowering it to his side, shaking. He didn't know if he should even bother. The door was always unlocked. No one ever knocked on it, no one that Gibbs knew anyway. He probably wasn't even upstairs but sanding away at that damn boat . Tony felt his knees begin to give out and slid to the door, his back hitting it with a thud as he rested his head thinking of what his next move should be.

Gibbs had just returned to the kitchen to grab another bottle of bourbon hidden under his sink when he heard a thud hit his door. Cursing internally at the fact that he had left his weapon downstairs he decided to take peek out the window. The rain was coming down in droves. Gibbs cupped his hand over his eyes to get a better view. One sweep in the street and near the door , he saw nothing until ...his eyes dropped lower only to see a shivering Anthony DiNozzo on his door step. Gibbs frowned wishing Tony was home resting resting at 1 am, instead of here because that could only mean one thing. Kate.

Tony began to figit and decided that he really shouldn't be where he was at this hour and was about to move but found that he couldn't. That 's when he heard the door begin to open and he inched forward startled.

"What the hell are you doin' Dinozzo?"

Tony sat hands in his pockets his cap pushed low over his eyes.

"I don't know."

Gibbs knew there was honesty behind that answer although he silently prayed that there wasn't.

"You still look like crap DiNozzzo."

Tony wanted to smile but there wasn't any to give.

"Well, what're ya doin' in the rain. Come on in."

Gibbs stepped back making room for the other agent only to see that Tony still hadn't budged.

"Can't move my legs, Boss."

Gibbs sighed and reached out a hand firmly grasping it in the other's and helped the younger man to his feet making sure he didn't fall over.

"Thought DiNozzos didn't pass out?"

Tony steadied himself and pushed off of Gibbs trying to support himself.

"I'm not passing out, just..."

He didn't know what he was.

Gibbs cocked his head and cracked a grin leading Tony into his living room.

As Tony entered the warmth of the living room, he found his voice.

"Surprised you heard me at all, Boss. I thought you would be in the dungeon."

Gibbs scowled and tony tried to look embarrassed but quickly gave up.

"I was, but needed to come up for this."

Gibbs produced a brand new bottle of boubon letting the other agent take in its strong scent.

Tony blinked a few times getting used to it and stepped back.

"What. Do you stash the stuff all around the house or something?"

Gibbs smiled. "Pretty much."

Tony found a small smile in himself at that confession. God, he really wanted a drink, but a part of him didn't want the offer.

Gibbs seemed to sense it and put the bottle down and gestured for Tony to sit on the couch without offering him any. Gibbs bent down in front of him, his knees cracking as he started a fire to warm Tony up.

"So...what's on your mind?"

Tony watched the flicker of the flames and envied their simplistic existence.

"Everything."

Gibbs turned to face the younger man, seeing the paleness of his skin and the dark circles still evident in his eyes. Everything was a lot to carry.

"Define everything, Tony."

Tony swallowed.

"Didn't know you had a fireplace Gibbs."

Gibbs smiled to himself. Deflecting. Classic DiNozzo.

"It came with the house about 45 years ago."

Tony nodded feigning interest as he began to become aware of his surroundings.

"How's the boat?"

Gibbs stood up wincing as the pain shot to his back.

"You didn't come here to discuss my boat."

Tony put his head down as if ashamed of the truth in those words.

"Kate. I can't stop thinking about her. Maybe if I had moved over a little bit move to protect her..."

"You would have been dead."

Tony's eyes met Gibbs. They were full of sadness and comfort, whatever comfort he could give anyway.

"Maybe."

Tony rubbed his cheek and gazed down at his hand. "I decided to take a walk ...in the rain you know to get the blood off."

Gibbs looked at Tony's unblemished face and feared that he was going into shock.

Tony continued admonsihing Gibbs's fear.

"I know it's already gone...but....maybe ...I don't know."

He ran his hands threw his hair and dropped his head to his knees in a fit of confusion and rage.

"Tony, "

Tony looked up as he felt a strong hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing him back to reality.

"Can't change it. What's done is done. Not your fault."

Tony eyed the hand and closed his eyes. He knew he should be relishing this but a part of him wanted normalcy, needed normalcy and GIbbs being too comforting wasn't normal.

"I thought I did a good job at bringing back the bastard. "

Gibbs looked to his hand absentmindedly rubbing circles on Tony's shoulder and quickly pulled it away.

"You did. Should I be slapping your head in circles then?"

Tony grinned widely at that one.

"Nah, have enough brain damage already."

Gibbs rolled his eyes in agreement.

"Can't argue that."

Tony watched his mentor. The banter seemed familear and he hoped it would continue even if it meant there was one less to share in it.

"Do you mind if I crash here, Boss?"

Gibbs shook his head.

"Nope, but don't expect to be coddled.

The words barely left his mouth when he realized a gentle snore coming from the couch. Tony was fast asleep still in his wet clothes shivering slightly. Images of blue and pain and fear like he hadn't experienced recoiled his senses. God, he could never experience that ever again. Gibbs reached down and gently removed the cap and jacket before covering his agent with a comforting blanket. Gibbs looked down at what he had done and grinned. Tomorrow Tony would know that when Gibbs said he was back to being the bastard he always was, he had lied.

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