Shibara1310 walks in without her book. Remember, it was destroyed by our lovely gothic kid. All alone, she sits down in her comfortable chair and crosses her ankles as she scratches her chin.
Shibara: Hey guys, sorry I left off at a cliff hanger. If you want to call it that…it was too dramatic for me and I didn't want to witness anything…out of sorts. Okay, that made no sense, but anyways, gradually, almost all of our characters will come in with starting first with Pikachu, me and Genesis. If you remember from the last chapter, Zack needs to come in and tell me what happened. Therefore, we are clueless now. Waiting for him to come…
Disclaimer: Shibara1310 owns nothing.
Brownies
Shibara: Pikachu, have you seen my brownies?
Pikachu:…pika!
Shibara: Oh really? Genesis!
Genesis: What?
Shibara: Did you eat my brownies?
Genesis: No!
Shibara: My little Pika says you did!
Genesis: You believe everything that little twerp says?
Pikachu: Pika-CHUUU!!!!!!
Shibara: Yes, I do!
Pikachu: purrrrrrrrr…..
Genesis: …
Shibara: Oh well, I wasn't in the mood for chocolate anyways. I need pretzels!
Genesis: You ran out, remember?
Shibara: Oh yeah…
Pikachu: Pika, pika, pika!!!!
Reno enters: Zutto, I'm back from vacation!
Shibara: Since when did you go on vacation?
Reno: A couple of chapters ago, yo.
Shibara:…
Reno: Genny, Boss, man, what's up?
Genesis:…how many times did I tell you not to call me that?
Reno: Sure, Boss Man.
Genesis:…
Shibara: So, how was your vacation?
Reno: It was the shit, man!
Shibara:…okay…did you forget?
Reno: Forget what? Yo, little mousy!
Pikachu bits his hand: PIKA!
Reno: Ouch!$&()$#!()&()!!!!!!!!!!
Shibara: Oh God…he's drunk…
Reno: I ain't drunk! Hey, do you guys see any pink elephants?
Genesis: I always thought that was just an expression or a term for when an alcoholic begins to see things that are not there…
Shibara:…like pink elephants…
Genesis: I never seen any drunk people who's seen pink elephants…usually they see their worst fear…
Reno: AHHH!!!!!!
Shibara: Apparently pink elephants are his worst fear…
Reno passes out on the floor.
Shibara: Reno, get your ass up! You're getting saliva all over my clean floor!
Reno:….zzz…
Genesis: Oh great, he's gonna have a hangover and I have to deal with it…
Shibara: Why you?
Genesis: Because.
Shibara: Because why?
Genesis: Because we work at the same ShinRa building, that's why!
Shibara: Oh…speaking of which, I wonder how Rufus, Tifa and Cloud are doing…
Rude enters:…
Shibara: Rude!!!! I love your sunglasses! Are they new?
Rude:…
Shibara: Never mind.
…Rude drags Reno out of the room and leaves…
Shibara: Pssh, Rude is rude…he didn't even say 'hello'!
Genesis:…okay…
Shibara: Anywho, let's move on and talk about some other stuff…
Genesis: Like what?
Shibara: Oh!
Genesis: What?
Shibara: I read the most disturbing story in my entire short life.
Genesis: What was it about?
Shibara: I didn't mean to come across it…I thought it was just an innocent story, and I was curious…
Genesis: Uh, what was it?
Shibara: I didn't know it was rated 'M'!
Genesis: Shibi.
Shibara: What?
Genesis: Can you tell me?
Shibara leans over and whispers in his ear.
Genesis: Gross! What deprived you to read that crap?!
Shibara: I told you! I didn't mean to!
Genesis: Well, it being Sephiroth and Aeris should have told you something….
Aeris enters: Hey guys! Where's Zack?
Shibara: Um…out.
Aeris: Out doing what?
Shibara: Shopping.
Aeris:…Uh huh…
Actually, Aeris still didn't know that the wedding of Tifa and Rufus was ruined and Zack was away trying to fix the whole ordeal. Though, Aeris didn't have to know this…so Shibara decided to make up a story that didn't fit Zack's character.
Shibara: Seriously. A wedding gift for Tifa and Rufus! Well, buying a gift for them…
Aeris: Oh! Okay, I was just trying to see if he's getting along with Pikachu!
Pikachu: Pika! –jumps on Aeris' head-
Aeris: Aw, isn't he so cute?!
Genesis: Precious.
Kadaj enters: Mommy!!!!! –runs up to Aeris and hugs her-
Shibara and Genesis: O.o
Shibara: The hell?
Aeris: There, there, what's wrong?
Kadaj: Loz stole my materia!
Shibara: You found Loz?
Kadaj sniffs: Uh huh, that bastard!
Shibara: Um…where'd you find him?
Kadaj straightens up: Actually, that's a funny story to tell.
Shibara: Do tell.
Genesis: Hmm…
Aeris: Well, after you tell, Mommy will buy you more materia, how about that, sweety?
Kadaj: Yay!
Shibara: I'm gonna throw up…
Kadaj: I heard that!
Shibara: Well, shut up and tell the story already!
Kadaj:…okay…well, I was walking in Edge, playing with my newly found summoning materia. It was all red and pretty! Like a ruby, only more darker, and it's realllllllly shiny!
Shibara: Can you get on with it?
Kadaj: Well, you don't have to get all upset…anyways, as I was walking by this bar called "Gay-a's Hangout", which I think they meant to spell it "Gaia's Hangout", but I guess the person who owns the store doesn't know how to spell, or pronounce 'Gaia' properly..I mean, isn't it like 'Guy-yah' or something?
Genesis: Yeah, yeah, yeah, the point?
Kadaj: I was passing it and then Loz dashed out of the bar, grabbed my materia before I could say 'hi', and then he ran around the building! Then, earlier today, Sin-Bahamut was seen destroying ever single yaoi bar in the city! I have no clue why…do you know why, kaa-san?
Aeris: No, I don't…
Shibara: Heh…what a strange story….
Kadaj: Mommy, can I get more materia?!
Aeris: Sure, sweety-kuns!
Shibara: I wonder what Zack thinks of you two…
Aeris sends her glare: Let's go!
Aeris leaves with Kadaj hanging onto her arm.
Genesis: That…was weird…
Shibara: Yeah…I wonder where Loz is now? Yazoo too…I miss Yazoo…
Genesis: You miss Yazoo?
Shibara:….okay, I changed my mind.
Pikachu: Pika!
Shibara: If you were gay! I'd shout, 'hurray!' And here I'd stay!
Genesis:…huh?
Shibara: It's a song.
Genesis: Oh.
Enter Vincent.
Shibara: Vinny! Where the heck have you been?! You missed out on a lot of action!
Vinny:…Yuffie broke up with me.
Shibara: Awww…I'm sorry…who's she going out with now?
Vinny: Lucrecia's son.
Genesis: He has a name, you know…
Vinny: The nightmare. Sephiroth. Hojo's son. Lucrecia…
Shibara: Uh oh…
Vinny: I need to atone for my sins. I hear Sephiroth beat me on the contest.
Shibara: Oh! No worries! He's off the chart now!
Genesis: That's sad.
Shibara: Very. I'm sorry you didn't make it. I voted for you!
Genesis:…thanks.
Vinny: Who's the top two?
Shibara: Cloud is first, Zack is second. So far! Every person has two votes each to vote for the final showdown!
Genesis: Final showdown?
Shibara: Yeah. I'm voting for both of them.
Vinny: I'm hopeless…I have no meaning in life…Lucrecia…Yuffie…
Shibara: Man, talk about issues…
Genesis: He has problems.
Shibara: No, issues.
Genesis: What's the difference?
Shibara: He has issues. Not problems, because problems can be solved.
Genesis: Ah.
Vinny: I leave you. Farewell…-turns into a cape and flies off-
Genesis: He is really strange…
Shibara: Yeah, but he's hot. He usually doesn't act like this…
Genesis: What do you think of Yuffie and Sephiroth together?
Shibara: Eh…
Genesis: Okay, who do you wish would get with Yuffie?
Shibara: Either Vincent or Yazoo.
Genesis: Yazoo is gay.
Shibara slaps him: He is NOT! I know he sounds like a pedophile and a bit on the reprobate side, but he's so sweet!
Genesis: He shot Cloud!
Shibara: That was in the movie! Yazoo is sweet in person…
Genesis: Huh, whatever…
Shibara: Like, you're sweet in person, but in Crisis Core you're a ----.
Genesis:…how?
Shibara: -ahem- Like, that whole incident with Zack and Sephiroth…
Genesis: Hey, it's not my fault!
Shibara: It is too!
Genesis: Is not!
Shibara: Is too!
Genesis: Is not!
Shibara: Is too!
Sephiroth enters: Will you two shut up already?
Shibara: Sephy! What happened? How did it turn out?
Sephiroth: I wasn't there.
Shibara: …Then where were you all this time?
Sephiroth: Shopping for materia with Yuffie.
Shibara: Then where's Yuffie?
Yuffie: Nyuk nyuk! Materia! –holds out orb-
Shibara: You. Are. Evil.
Yuffie pouts: How?
Shibara: First you steal Vinny's heart, you little kleptomaniac, then you break it, and then you go to Sephiroth. I mean, I like Yuffieroth fanfics, but please!
Yuffie: Pikachu!
Pikachu: Pika, pika-chuuu-chu, pika-pika-pika-pika-ka-chuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!! Pikachu!
Shibara: Listen to the wise, yellow mouse.
Yuffie: Huh?
Zack makes grand entrance: I'm baaaaaack!
Shibara: Finally!
Zack: Hey, don't I get a kiss?
Shibara: No. Well…yeah. Later on today. Aeris was looking for you.
Zack:…Oh, was she now? Hehehe…
Shibara: You scare me.
Genesis: Yeah…
Shibara: Anyways, please tell me you found out what happened?
Zack: Of course! I watched the whole thing! It was awesome!
Shibara: Okay, can you tell me?
Yuffie: Narf!
Zack: Without Yuffie. She pisses me off.
Yuffie: Hey! I resent that!
Zack: Whatever….
Shibara: Yuffie, leave.
Yuffie: But I wanna hear what happens!
Shibara: I'll tell you later. Please? I'll give you some red materia…
Yuffie: Yay! –leaves-
Shibara: There. Happy? Why did you want her to leave?
Zack: Like I said, she pisses me off. She never shuts up…
Shibara: That's true…
Sephiroth: Hey…
Shibara: Hey.
Sephiroth: Hey…
Shibara: Hey, hey! You, you! I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way, I think you need a new one!
Zack: Ew! I hate that song!
Shibara: Did you know that Fugly likes it?
Silence…
Zack: Hahah! He's a fraplester!
Shibara: When did you start using my vocabulary?
Zack: I dunno. Anyways…
Shibara: Oh yeah! Continue with the story…
Zack: Well, don't you first want to know where the three are at this moment?
Genesis: Where?
Zack: Rufus went to this place called 'Gay-a Hangout', but I haven't heard from him since then, and it was this morning….and Cloud and Tifa are on their honeymoon!
Shibara:…
Genesis:…
Sephiroth:…
Pikachu: -sneeze-
Zack: Oh, and my cold is better! Thanks to punkiemonkie's tissue she gave me!
Shibara: Stop flirting!
Zack: I am not! I'm thanking her!
Shibara: Yeah, well, why are Cloud and Tifa on their honeymoon? What…how…huh?
Zack: Well, after Rufus ran off, Tifa got upset and started blaming Cloud for all of it. Then Yuffie and Sephiroth ran off to do God knows what because Tifa threw her flower bouquet in rage and Yuffie caught it. Then Tifa kept on and on about how much Rufus loved her. But, Cloud pointed out if Rufus loved her, why wasn't he there? And all this other stuff, and he said something like 'he doesn't love you the way I do'.
Shibara: Aw, how sweet…
Zack: But then Tifa slapped him
Genesis: Ouch.
Sephiroth: Shame.
Zack: But wait! I'm not finished!
Shibara: Okay…?
Zack: Cloud then kissed her on site! Then the preacher ruined it after they kissed for five minutes straight and thought Tifa was making out with a chocobo.
Shibara: Ew…
Zack: But then Cloud proposed to her and said that he only was attracted to Aeris because of her sweet personality, but he always adored Tifa! Beside, Aeris only liked Cloud because he pretended to be me, remember?
Shibara: Uh huh….
Zack: Anyways, Tifa said that she accepts and asked the preacher to do the ceremony again. But he still thought Cloud was a chocobo and thought she was trying to commit beastiality, so he refused. So Cloud and Tifa asked me to do the ceremony, but I told them I couldn't because I wasn't a preacher. But then the preacher thought I wanted to become one, so he gave me all of these brochures about how to become a preacher, so I decided what the heck? So they said their vows and rode off on Fenir.
Shibara: …wow….
Genesis: So, are you a preacher now?
Zack: No. But I'm sure Aeris would like it if I became one, but I just don't think I'm fit for the job.
Shibara: Yeah, horn dog…
Zack:….
Shibara:…
Zack:…
Genesis:…So…all ended well?
Zack: Yeah.
Shibara: Except for the fact that Rufus is missing.
Zack: How?
Shibara: We might have to presume him dead because 'Gay-a Hangout' was destroyed by Sin-Bahamut today.
Zack: Ouch. Well, Rufus was supposed to be dead anyways.
Sephiroth: That's true…
Shibara: But still!
Genesis: Can I have some brownies?
Shibara: I told you, I lost them because you ate them!
Pikachu: Pika…
Genesis: I did not! Pikachu is hiding them!
Pikachu: Pika-chuuuu, ROAR!
Shibara: That's all for today. Hopefully this chapter was funny enough!
Next time on Pikachu Diaries…
Special guests Leighton, Endlesshorizon, and Yazoo! Random crap. More news on Cloud and Tifa! And Sephiroth looks for Rufus.