Shibara1310 enters, holding a notebook close to her chest and a pencil grasped firmly in her other hand. She strolls casually over to a new, metal bar stool with a red cushion. Without any hesitation of any kind, she crawls onto the stool, crosses her ankles and opens her notebook.
Shibi: Hi! Sorry it's been forever since I've updated. I've been doing other stories, school and art. Hopefully the guys won't forget me this time. Anywho, today we'll talk about updates, stories, later chapters, and school drama. And today we have a guest.
Disclaimer: Shibara1310 does not own FFVII, any spin offs, characters, or Pikachu.
Updates.
Shibi: Hey guys! Long time, no talk.
Zack: Pssh, you got that –beep- straight.
Genesis: I take it the beeper is still installed?
Zack: -Beep!-
Shibi: Well, if it annoys you so much, how about you stop swearing? Have you ever thought that maybe that will help?
Zack:…Whatever…
Shibi: Anyways, sorry it took me forever to update!
Zack: Yeah, what took you so long?
Shibi: School, writing, and art.
Pikachu: Pika!
Shibi: And taking care of Pikachu.
Zack: Oh.
Shibi: Yeah…Well, today we are announcing updates, blah, blah, blah, school drama, what's going on with me, which isn't much at all, and then Crisis Core. Woot!
Zack: 'Woot'? What is 'woot'?
Shibi: I dunno. I like it.
Genesis: So, what are the updates?
Shibi: Oh! Next chapter, we are having three special guests as a request. Ahem…it's a secret!
Zack: Great…it better not be three Pikachu clones or rabid fan girls. They messed up my hair last time!
Shibi:..There was never a last time.
Zack: Yes, there was! In the disclaimer of one of you chapters in another one of your stories!
Shibi: Oh! That one…well, the answer is no.
Zack: Thank God.
Shibi: Haha.
Genesis: How is school going by the way?
Shibi: Horribly.
Zack: That's good.
Shibi: I hate you.
Zack: Thank you.
Shibi: It's stupid! Fugly is scaring my friend, and I dunno what to do!
Genesis: How is he scaring your friend?
Shibi: He's stalking her.
-Awkward silence-
Zack: Seriously? Does he like her or something?
Shibi: No! He doesn't! It's all because she prank texted and prank called him. Now he's acting all psycho and I don't know what to do! And he brought up a very personal subject in front of a few kids.
Zack: What was it about?
Shibi: About our argument. Right in front of these guys! I've kept it a secret and told no one about it, but now he's talking about as if it was nothing. I hate him!
Zack: You have us to love!
Shibi:…
Genesis: I don't think that was a good time to say that…
Zack: Sorry…
Shibi: Well, I'm about to tell my principle about him.
Zack: You can't just tell the principle! That's like, being head of the school! She's the one in charge!
Shibi: I talk to her a lot. And she's not like other principles.
Genesis: Interesting…
Zack: How's that girl?
Shibi: What girl?
Zack: The one whom you hated a couple of months ago and ranted about her.
Shibi: Oh! Well, she's nice now. Fugly is mean to her because he talks about her behind her back.
Zack: How about you kick him in the –beep-?
Shibi: -slap!- I will not tolerate that language, young man!
Zack: Ow…
Pikachu: Pika, pika, pika, -squeak!-
Zack: Shut it, Squeaky.
Pikachu: …
Shibi: Can we switch the subject, please?
All:…
Shibi: Good. I read a lemon the other day.
Zack:…you are gross.
Shibi: It was an accident!
Zack: How the heck was it an accident?! You see a fic, it should say rated 'M'. Then, on the disclaimer, there is usually a warning. If not, then when you get to that part, you should be able to know whether it's a lemon or not!
Shibi: There were no warnings!
Genesis: No warnings?
Shibi: No!
Zack: Okay, explain.
Shibi: I was looking for a cute Naminè and Axel fic. Well, I went on all ratings, so yeah. I never pay attention to what it's rated. The summary was okay. The disclaimer was okay. It was too speedy, though…there wasn't any detail at all. Anywho, I was half asleep. So when I was reading it, I wasn't paying much attention. And then 'bam!' It was so quick, and I felt really sick afterwards, too.
Zack: Wow…poor Shibi.
Genesis: Our apologies.
Shibi: I was so disturbed! I didn't read the rest, which was good.
Zack: You like Kingdom Hearts fics?
Shibi: Der. I've been reading them for ages now! I love that game!
Zack: Great. You're going to abandon the FFVII fandom and leave us for Kingdom Hearts…I understand, really…I guess I wasn't good enough to maintain your interest…
Shibi: Shut up, emo! Of course I'm still obsessed with FFVII! I'm dying for Crisis Core to come out!
Genesis: Speaking of which, has my English voice been announced to the world yet?
Shibi: No, not yet. Well, in Dirge of Cerberus it has, but in Crisis Core you're like ten years younger.
Genesis: Oh…
Shibi: Cheer up! Only three more days! Huzzah!
Zack: I have a lot of pictures and clips of myself. –smirks-
Shibi: Yeah…it looks like you're molesting this monster in one picture of the game play…
Zack: O.O'
Genesis:…
Pikachu: Pika-chuuuuu?
Shibi: What?
Zack: WTF?! They make me look like I'm molesting a freaking monster?! They're promoting bestiality! That is gross!
Shibi: Calm down, it was only one picture.
Zack: -Cries-
Shibi: What's wrong?
Zack: I'm too sexy to be molesting monsters!
Shibi: You are weird. That reminds me…
Genesis: What?
Shibi: Cloud and Tifa are back!
Zack brightens up: Really?!
Shibi: Really!
Immediately, Cloud and Tifa stroll in the dark room, linking arms together with Tifa's head rested against Cloud's shoulder. They look rather happy and tired at the same time…
Cloud: Hey…
Zack: What the –beep- took you so –beep- long?! Ugh!
Tifa: How rude! We were on our honeymoon!
Zack: Had so much fun, you didn't want to come back?
Tifa: -knocks out Zack-
Shibi: Hey! He's the secondary most important character of 'Pikachu Diaries'!
Tifa: He'll wake up soon enough. I'm leaving to unpack at the bar.
-Insert loads of fluffy talk exchanged between husband and wife. Something along the lines of 'hunny-munchins' and 'sugarcakes'...-
-Tifa leaves-
Shibi: I was too disgusted to quote what they said.
Cloud: Hey!
Shibi: Anywho, Pikachu, watch Zack until he wakes up, okay?
Pikachu: Pika!
Shibi: We have the results for the winner of the Hot Guys Awards.
Cloud: Oh! Is it me?
Shibi: Well, we have to see…
Genesis: I do not care who wins.
Shibi: Of course not, you weren't in the finals.
Genesis:…
Shibi: Don't worry; we're going to have a 'Girly Man Awards' in a couple of chapters. Maybe you'll place third or something.
Genesis: -Evil glare-
Shibi: Hey, you do look like a girl in that one scene in Crisis Core…
Genesis: Never mind that.
Cloud: Can we see who won? –taps foot impatiently-
Shibi: Fine.
Shibi whips out a pink envelope, causing the men to raise a few interested eyebrows. Carefully, Shibi opens the pink paper and draws out a single white card. Glancing at it, she smirks.
Shibi: And the winner is…Zack Fair!
Cloud: WHAT?! How can he win?! I'm the smexiest!
Shibi: True, but the votes are in.
Cloud: How did you have the votes?
Shibi: I posted a poll on my profile.
Cloud:…
Genesis: Congratulations, Zack.
Zack: -still knocked out-
Cloud: So what's the prize?
Shibi: The pride of being the sexiest man ever.
Cloud:...
Shibi: I lied. That, and a day at the spa.
Cloud: Oh, really? Mm, too bad Zack hates the spa…
Shibi: Yes, 'tis shame, isn't it? Especially when the ladies working there absolutely adore him.
Genesis: Hah.
Cloud: Heh.
Shibi: It creeps me out when you guys laugh.
Cloud: Hey, I have a cute laugh.
Shibi: Yes, you do.
Genesis: When will Zack wake up?
Shibi: Hmm…we could carry him to the spa at the end of the chapter! He's going to be like this for awhile…Tifa's got a mean punch.
Cloud: That's my girl.
Shibi: Yeah…Well, I have some news, hopefully you guys won't hate me.
Genesis: What?
Shibi: First of all, Yuffie and Kadaj have broke up. Yuffie is now dating Reno. Kadaj has a crush on Aeris, though she doesn't know this, and neither does Zack.
Cloud: Oh. Wow.
Shibi: Yeah, so don't tell Zack about Kadaj, okay? He'll kill him.
Genesis: You're secret is safe with us.
Shibi: Another thing is, Pichu was not able to make it.
Pikachu: Pika! PIKA! Pichu, pika, pika! –cries-
Shibi: Send your regards to poor Pikachu here.
Cloud: Sorry…
Genesis: Why isn't Pichu going to make it?
Shibi: The plane crashed in the ocean and Pichu is missing.
-Silence-
Shibi: Anyways, Sephiroth is…somewhere. He's going to come in a later chapter for the 'Girly Man Awards'. Rufus is gone forever, Vincent ran away with Shelke…And Yazoo is still at Man Camp. I haven't heard from him in awhile…
Genesis: Bummer.
Cloud: Why is he at Man Camp?
Shibi: I thought I already explained that?
Cloud: I wasn't here.
Shibi: Oh…well, Yazoo is proving himself to Yuffie because he's in love with her.
Cloud: Oh, how sweet.
Shibi: Yes! Now, we will have to be leaving soon.
Cloud: This wasn't much of a chapter…
Shibi: Don't worry! Next chapter will be. We get to see Zack's reaction at the spa.
Genesis: That reminds me…when is he going to propose to Aeris?
Shibi: After he kills Kadaj, of course.
Cloud: Wow.
Shibi: Yes. Now, cookies for every nice person! Girl scout cookies for Zack, and we'll see you guys soon!
-Next Chapter-
We torture Zack!