"It's getting late," Craig said looking out of the window at the darkness of the night sky. A peppering of glittering diamonds were dusted through the inky blackness, each one of them holding the promise of a bright new morning to come.
The two men had been sitting together on the damaged sofa for several hours, talking quietly until they had fallen into a comfortable silence. Craig was surprised at how much strength he got simply from John Paul's presence, but at the same time he couldn't shake the deep-rooted fear that it was only temporary. Everything in his life seemed to be temporary these days and he was too scared to allow himself the hope of more.
"You probably should be going."
John Paul was stunned by Craig's suggestion and he looked at the man with concern.
"I… I don't have to…" John Paul's eyes flicked over to the door, still firmly wedged closed by a chair. The reason the door had to be barred like that was still out there and the thought of leaving Craig alone in the flat made John Paul feel physically sick. Anything could happen and he wouldn't be there to help. The idea was unbearable and yet, at the same time, John Paul knew that he couldn't force his presence on Craig if it wasn't wanted.
"I know," Craig replied touching his fingertips lightly to John Paul's face, "But I need… I think… I just need some time on my own… you know?"
John Paul smiled his understanding and, catching the hand against his face; he pressed his lips softly against Craig's palm.
Getting slowly to his feet John Paul kept a hold of Craig's hand, pulling the man up with him, holding tightly with the fear of someone scared to let go, but he knew he had to.
"Craig you… you will be careful won't you… I mean you won't… you won't let him in again?" John Paul's concern was etched deeply across his face, burning darkly through the blue of his eyes.
"I'll be fine," Craig reassured him.
"Craig I mean it," John Paul said firmly. "Once I've gone you need to put that chair back and keep it there. Promise me Craig… promise me you won't let him in here." John Paul's grip on Craig's hand tightened, reawakening the sharp pain from his cuts but it wasn't enough to make him lessen his hold.
"I promise," Craig replied.
John Paul looked towards the door nervously. The last thing he wanted to do was leave but he could sense Craig's need for some time alone and he had to respect that need.
"If you need me… for anything… you'll call me yeah?"
"I will."
Letting go of John Paul's hand Craig pulled the chair away from the door and opened the lock.
"Seriously Craig… anything…"
Craig let out a small laugh as he pulled the door open. "I'll call… I promise!"
With reluctant steps John Paul crossed the threshold into the corridor, pausing once outside to look closely at Craig. The violence of the day was illustrated by the dark purple bruising that surrounding the cut on Craig's mouth, but it did nothing to mar the man's beauty that had always run far deeper than his physical appearance.
"I love you," John Paul said quietly.
"Thank you," Craig replied, brushing his fingers over John Paul's cheek again.
---
Craig paced the emptiness of his flat. John Paul had been gone for over an hour but Craig felt none of the panic he had anticipated. Despite being on his own Craig didn't feel alone. For the first time since setting a foot in Ireland Craig didn't have the overwhelming feeling of emptiness that he had experienced every time he had been left without company. The emptiness that had sent him to the pub the night he met Lee and the emptiness that had kept him with Lee long after he knew he should leave.
Spotting a glint of light in the corner of the room Craig bent down to retrieve a smashed picture frame that had been missed earlier and, letting the shattered glass fall back to the floor, Craig picked up the photograph.
He'd always hated that picture. Craig had been looking off camera at the moment the shutter had been depressed and it made him appear as if he had a squint. Lee, on the other hand, was looking directly down the lens, his dark eyes glowing as his movie star good looks shone from the glossy paper.
Craig had always hated that picture but Lee had insisted on having it framed. Craig crumpled the photograph in his fist, letting it fall to the ground forgotten. A small act of defiance against Lee's wishes but it felt good and Craig smiled to himself.
---
John Paul had walked back to his bed and breakfast slowly, his hand tightly clutching his phone in case it rang, hating each step that took him further from Craig's side but still understanding the importance of giving Craig the time alone that he needed.
Once getting to his room John Paul had made a mug of tea, which sat cold and untouched on top of the bedside cabinet.
Lying back on his bed John Paul stared into the darkness of the room.
Craig would be alright. He had to believe that. For the tenth time in as many minutes John Paul looked at his mobile to make sure it was switched on. Craig knew where he was if he needed him. Taking a deep breath John Paul closed his eyes. He hoped to god Craig wasn't going to need him.
---
Craig stood at the bathroom mirror studying his reflection intently. It had been some months since he had taken any time to look at himself that closely. Not since Lee had started to instil in him the belief that what he would see in the mirror would only ever be a disappointment.
Raising his hand to his face Craig traced over the cut that marked his lip, wincing as the pressure of his touch aggravated the bruising. Craig's fingers moved further over his face, tracing the curve of his cheeks down to the edge of his jaw, stroking over the bridge of his nose and across the smoothness of his forehead.
Craig's skin felt soft under his fingertips and he tilted his head to an angle as he continued to explore his features. His eyes shone a rich deep brown under the harsh bathroom lighting and Craig smiled at the sight of the long thick lashes his sisters had always envied.
"John Paul loves me," Craig whispered quietly to the empty room, watching as his mouth formed the words.
Lee had often told Craig that he loved him, but it was always used as an explanation, or rather an excuse, for something else. "I only get angry because I love you", "I love you so much it drives me crazy seeing you talking to another man."
With John Paul "I love you" was the beginning and end, no conditions, no provisos, nothing but love.
With Lee "I love you" had meant violence, either before or after the words but Craig had always known it would be close by. "That's not love," John Paul had said and for a while Craig had had difficulty understanding him but now he did.
Craig's fingers ran lightly over his throat. If he looked really closely he could see the almost faded bruises of another day when Lee had been angry. Craig couldn't even remember what he had done or said that day to have the man pin him by the throat to the wall, torrents of abuse being screamed into his face while he passively accepted it.
"That's not love," Craig told his reflection and the dark haired man in the mirror agreed with him. He'd known love before and it hadn't felt like that. It hadn't been shrouded in pain and fear. It had made him feel complete and alive.
Craig smiled at himself as he reached for the light switch. He felt alive.
---
John Paul dozed lightly in the silence of his room. He hadn't bothered to get undressed or lie under the covers "just in case". Instead he half sat, half slouched against the headboard, with his mobile resting lightly against his outstretched hand. Waiting for the call. Afraid of the call.
The sudden shrill tone made John Paul jump violently, his hand flipping the ringing telephone to the floor where it skittered underneath the bed.
Cursing himself John Paul threw his body over the edge of the mattress to reach for his mobile, his panic increasing as he saw Craig's name flashing on the screen.
"Craig what is it? Are you OK?" John Paul almost shouted into the phone in a breathless voice.
"It's… no… I'm fine… sorry I didn't mean to scare you?" Craig's tone was calm and John Paul felt a wash of relief.
"That's alright," John Paul said reassuringly as he righted himself on the bed, glad to hear Craig's voice despite the initial fear it had caused.
"It's just…"
"What?"
In the darkness of his room Craig could picture John Paul's eyes perfectly. He knew their exact shape and colour but more than that he knew how they shone when they looked at him with more love than he ever thought he deserved.
"It's just… I forgot to say before… I love you too."
---
"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Craig asked leaning against the doorframe observing the scattering of lock parts around his feet.
"Hey!" John Paul said, looking up and pointing a screwdriver at him. "Do you want this doing or not?"
"I was just asking if you know where all those bits actually GO!" Craig replied with a grin.
"Rather than just stand there… why don't you go and make yourself useful."
"Doing?"
"A tea would be nice!"
"Typical workman," Craig muttered with amusement, "Only been here five minutes and he wants a brew!"
John Paul smiled as he watched Craig wander into the kitchen. The man seemed so relaxed, so much the person he had once been that John Paul thought it would be easy to believe that Craig had shrugged off the shadow of Lee's treatment, but he knew in reality that these things were not so easily forgotten and he couldn't help but wonder how much of Craig's new found confidence was simply an act for his benefit.
The cold hard weight of the new lock in John Paul's hand reminded him of the reality of the situation. Without the threat of Lee he wouldn't now be on his knees enhancing the security of Craig's flat with a new lock and safety chain. Both of which Craig insisted he didn't need, but neither of which he refused to let John Paul fit.
With a sigh John Paul let his head fall against the hard wood of the door. Even thinking about Lee, about what Lee had done, made his blood boil, but his anger wasn't only directed at the man who had hurt Craig both physically and emotionally. The truth was John Paul couldn't help but shoulder some of the blame himself and, no matter how many times he reasoned with himself that he couldn't have know, he still felt the guilt of leaving Craig so alone and vulnerable. He hadn't been there when Craig needed him the most and he had no intention of ever making that mistake again.
"Hungry?"
Craig's voice calling from the kitchen pulled John Paul from his musings.
"Sorry?"
"I said… are you hungry?"
"You're offering to cook?" John Paul couldn't keep the amusement from his voice, Craig Dean had never been known for his culinary skills.
"Hey!" Craig replied in mock indignation as he leant through the kitchen door to pout at John Paul. "Even I can grill some bacon for a butty!"
"Sounds good," John Paul replied, his stomach growling its approval. "Plenty of ketchup on mine."
--
"OK I take it back," Craig mumbled around a mouthful of bacon, "You did know what you were doing!"
Closing the front door John Paul stood back proudly to admire his handiwork as the lock clicked shut, barring the outside world from entering the flat. Quickly fastening the safety chain John Paul nodded his satisfaction of a job well done.
"Oh ye of little faith," John Paul chided with his hands on his hips and an 'I told you so' look across his face.
"Yes, yes, OK," Craig replied, "You win… and you can change my locks any time you like!"
John Paul's smile faded from his lips for a moment, he sincerely hoped that he would never have to change another lock for Craig as long as he lived, especially not in such circumstances.
Turning to face Craig he opened his mouth to speak but a sudden laugh took the words from his lips.
"What?" Craig asked as John Paul continued to laugh lightly.
"You've got…"
"What?"
"You've got some… here…"
Reaching out his hand John Paul tried not to notice as Craig flinched back ever so slightly before John Paul's thumb came into contact with his face.
With a sweeping gesture John Paul's thumb ran a line below Craig's bottom lip. Placing it in his mouth John Paul sucked off the red substance that his thumb had wiped from Craig's face.
"Ketchup," John Paul said with a grin.
Raising his hand self-consciously to his face Craig half giggled. "Are you sure you got it all?" he asked quietly, his eyes wide as he looked earnestly at John Paul.
"I'm not sure," John Paul replied softly as he took the plate and half eaten sandwich from Craig's hand, depositing it quickly on the floor before taking a step closer to the dark haired man. "What do you think?"
Craig felt his body tremble under John Paul's gaze. There was such gentleness in the man's bright blue eyes that they seemed to caress Craig's skin with a light touch, telling him that everything they saw was beautiful, had always been beautiful, no matter how often Lee had insisted otherwise.
"I don't… I'm not…" Craig's feet stepped forward on their own until he was close enough to John Paul to feel the heat of the man's breath against his skin. "Maybe you should make sure…"
John Paul's fingertips skimmed lightly over Craig's cheek, a warm touch that, this time, Craig felt no need to flinch away from. There was no menace or threat in John Paul's touch, only affection and tenderness and Craig couldn't understand how he had allowed himself to confuse Lee's actions with love for so long.
Craig's heart pounded heavily in his chest as John Paul's mouth touched against his. The warmth and softness of John Paul's lips felt so right as Craig moved deeper into the kiss, his arms wrapping around John Paul in a sudden tightness as if he was afraid to let go again.
John Paul could feel the heat of Craig's tears against his face and he pulled away from the kiss slowly, his hands stroking the dampness from Craig's cheeks.
"It's gonna be OK Craig," John Paul said gently as Craig's wide, tear-filled eyes observed him.
"Is it?"
"I promise…"
"I think I lost myself," Craig said, resting his face against John Paul's shoulder as the man's strong arms held him tightly. "Everything was so wrong and I couldn't stop it…"
"You're safe now," John Paul breathed into Craig's hair as he closed his eyes to hold in his own tears. "I'm here now and I'll never leave you again. Tell me what you need me to do Craig… anything… anything you need…"
"Just hold me…"
John Paul tightened his grip around the man in his arms and pressed his lips to the top of Craig's head. "Always," he promised, "For as long as you want me…"
---
John Paul sighed softly as the last strands of sleep gradually gave way to consciousness. He could feel the weight of Craig's head resting against his chest, just as it had done on the previous three mornings, and John Paul stroked Craig's hair lightly in a need to touch the man without wanting to wake him.
During his waking hours Craig's confidence in himself seemed to be restored, his smile once again shone from his eyes and he no longer shied away from John Paul's touch. But in the quiet of the night, in the solitude of his dreams, Craig would again be confronted by the fears that lingered in the back of his mind. While his conscious mind was slowly learning to believe that Lee's actions towards him had been unjustified the lingering doubts in his subconscious would still taunt him in his dreams, and John Paul would hold the man tightly as he cried out in his sleep, whispering soothing words until the terrors passed and Craig found peace again.
John Paul smile as his eyes travelled around the bedroom, coming to rest on his cases in the corner where they had been unceremoniously dumped two days earlier. It had been an obvious, almost natural, progression for John Paul to give up his room at the bed and breakfast to move in with Craig, but at the same time it was something he had been reluctant to do. The last thing John Paul wanted was to force his presence on the man who was still more fragile than he cared to admit, but at the same time the thought of leaving him alone in the flat at the end of the day was unbelievably hard.
Thankfully Craig had taken the decision from him, pressing the spare key into John Paul's hand with a smile.
"I think you'll need this," Craig had said as he wrapped John Paul's fingers around the key.
"Will I?"
"Well you will if you're gonna be living here…"
"And that's what I'm gonna be doing is it?" John Paul hadn't been able to keep the surprised delight from his eyes but his question had still given Craig reason to pause.
"If you want," Craig had replied quietly, "It IS what you want isn't it?"
Craig murmured slightly in his sleep, his arm automatically seeking to pull the warmth of John Paul's body closer to him as slumber's hold on him started to seep away.
John Paul's fingers ran thorough the softness of Craig's hair as the man's sleepy eyes flickered open. There was nowhere in the world he would rather be than wherever Craig Dean was and John Paul was grateful he had been given a second chance to realise that fact.
"Morning," Craig said groggily as his lips grazed a kiss over John Paul's cheek.
John Paul smiled. It was incredible how much one look into the depths of Craig's rich brown eyes could make him feel. Just one glance from those eyes and John Paul's heart would race, his pulse would quicken and he would be unable to keep a bright smile from his lips. Looking at Craig, holding him and being with him, those were the things that made life worthwhile, the things that made John Paul remember what happiness was, remember what love was and remember who he was.
"You look miles away," Craig said, tracing his fingers over the soft curve of John Paul's lips.
John Paul kissed the fingertips at his mouth. "I guess I was."
"What were you thinking about?"
"You…"
"What about me?"
"I was just thinking how gorgeous you are… how amazing… how glad I am to be here."
"John Paul!" Craig's cheek flushed softly at the praise and his eyes shone brightly with the effects of the love he could feel from the man who was holding him warmly.
"It's true," John Paul insisted, "And don't you ever let anyone tell you otherwise."
Closing his eyes Craig pressed his face into the comfort of John Paul's chest. They both knew who he meant by 'anyone' and there were times when Craig could still hear Lee's derisive comments and putdowns, there were times when he struggled to shake of the feelings that those words had instilled in him, but more and more John Paul's love was drowning out those memories and replacing them with a strength that Craig had forgotten he possessed.
---
For three days he'd been waiting, watching, biding his time. For three days he'd felt his anger and frustration build until it was almost impossible to control. For three days he had meticulously planned what he was going to do the next time he got his hands on Craig, enjoying the planning almost as much as he knew he would enjoy carrying it out. He could hardly wait to hear Craig beg again, to see the fear in his eyes and to watch him crumble like the weak pathetic creature that he was. But this time when Craig begged him to stop Lee had no intention of listening. Craig was sullied now, worthless to him. Lee didn't want him back; he just wanted him to suffer.
---
"How does black tea grab you?" John Paul asked with a grimace as he pulled the empty milk bottle from the fridge.
Craig pulled a disgusted face in response as he looked into the dark pools of liquid sitting in two mugs. "I don't think so," he said, taking a sip of the tea and quickly pouring the rest of it into the sink.
"Well if someone had said they'd used the last of the milk last night…" John Paul chided teasingly.
"How d'you know it was me?"
"Well it wasn't me… so unless we've had the kind of burglars who only come around to drink all the milk!"
"Fine," Craig pouted, the shine in his eyes belying the hurt expression of his face. "I suppose I'll go to the shop and get some more."
John Paul hesitated. For an irrational moment he didn't want Craig to leave the flat. Even though the local shop was barely a five-minute walk away John Paul had the urge to ask him not to go, to offer to go instead, to do anything that would keep Craig safe. But Craig wasn't a child and John Paul knew that he had to let the man out of his sight again some time; this was as good a moment as any.
"You might as well get some more bread while you're there," John Paul said, hoping that he was hiding the underlying fear in his eyes well enough to mask it from Craig.
"Anything else?" Craig asked in the best 'put upon' voice he could manage.
"Well if you don't hurry up and leave I'm sure I can find a whole list of things," John Paul teased.
"Fine, fine, I'm going." Craig quickly pulled on his jacket before stopping and touching his lips softly to John Paul's cheek. "I'll be back soon," he said softly, "And don't worry… I'll be alright."
John Paul smiled as Craig left the flat, his hand touching the spot where Craig's lips had just been. He should have known he couldn't hide his worries from Craig, their connection ran too deep to be able to mask what either of them were really feeling.
Taking a deep breath John Paul prepared himself for a wait. Craig might only be going to the shop but it still gave John Paul a deep gnawing fear in the pit of his stomach and he wished that he could understand where that fear was coming from.
---
Craig took a deep breath of the warm fragrant air as he stepped into the sun-drenched street. The vibrancy contrasted sharply against the constant gloom of the corridor that led outside and Craig shielded his eyes, squinting slightly as he adjusted to the brightness that assaulted his senses.
His lips were curved in a soft smile as he started to walk, the memory of John Paul's concern warming him as surely as the rays from the mid-morning sun. He'd forgotten how it felt to have someone care about him that completely, to know that there was someone there looking out for him, even when he didn't need it.
Craig shivered as he turned into a side street that led directly to the small row of shops, the narrow street was half bathed in shadow and had always given Craig an eerie feeling of being watched.
"Craig."
The voice cut sharply into Craig's thoughts, the sound of his name chilling him as if all the warmth that he had been enjoying was suddenly leeched away.
Craig's steps stumbled to an ungainly halt as his legs became too heavy to move and he felt frozen to the spot. The sudden hand on his shoulder made him tremble as the fingers dug painfully into his flesh.
"I've been waiting for you." Lee walked slowly around Craig's stationery figure until they were standing face to face.
Craig swallowed heavily, Lee's dark eyes blazed with a fury much more fierce than any he could remember and a rich bruise glowed around his mouth where John Paul's fist had connected. Craig's lips moved but no sound came out. Every ounce of fear and self doubt that he thought was gone crashed back down on top of him until he felt pinned to the spot by its weight, waiting for Lee's next move, waiting for Lee's punishment.
"I suppose you think you got the better of me?" Lee said calmly, "You and that little friend of yours…"
"No… I… I…" Craig stammered as Lee's hand pressed against his chest, seemingly stealing all of the air from his lungs.
"Do you not know me by now Craig? Did you really think I'd just walk away… that I'd let you go just like that?" Lee stepped slowly forward as he spoke until his face was only inches from Craig's. "Did you?"
"I… I don't know… I didn't think…"
"Of course you didn't think… thinking never was something you were very good at… screwing up that's all you know how to do isn't it Craig? Making me angry… making me want to hurt you…"
"Lee please…" Craig hated the pitiful sound of his own voice but felt unable to stop himself from saying the things he knew Lee wanted to hear. "Please don't… I'm sorry Lee… I didn't mean to…"
"I don't care Craig… I don't care what you meant… I don't care about YOU… You're nothing to me, you never were, a convenient fuck when I didn't get a better offer, and believe me I got plenty of better offers… but then you knew that didn't you… you knew I was out screwing anyone I liked while you waited patiently for me to get home… because you knew there is much better out there than you." As he spoke Lee slowly pushed Craig backwards until his back hit against the cold hard stone of the wall.
"What are you gonna do?" Craig asked breathlessly, his whole body trembling with fear as Lee held him firmly against the wall by his shoulders.
"I'm gonna remind you how pathetic you are… I'm gonna remind you that you belong to me and that I can do anything I want to you… and then I'm gonna fuck you… because I can… and because that's all that you're worth… don't let that pretty boy of yours tell you any different, he knows as well as I do… you're just a convenience piece of ass useful for a quick fuck… that's all you'll ever be, nobody could ever love something as pathetic as you."
Lee's chest rose and fell with heavy breaths. The look of fear and worthlessness in Craig's eyes was the greatest turn on he had ever known and he ached to see how much further he could push the man, curious to know if forcing himself inside that body there in the side street before throwing him to the ground would be enough to quench that deep seated loathing. Would it ever be enough?
Craig closed his eyes his heart was racing with fear, but it wasn't just fear.
"You're wrong."
"What did you just say to me?" Lee couldn't believe his ears. Craig had dared to answer him back, Craig never answered him back, because he knew better, he had been taught better.
"I said you're wrong," Craig repeated, opening his eyes again and looking directly into the darkly frightening pools of Lee's bitter gaze. At that moment Craig might be afraid but it was a different kind of fear, because he knew he wasn't alone. "John Paul loves me."
There was a bitterness in Lee's laugh. "Oh I'm sure he says he does… you know how it is… anything for a quick shag… no matter how rubbish…"
"You're wrong." Craig was surprised to see that Lee seemed shorter than he remember until he realised, possibly for the first time, that he was standing up straight, looking directly at the man who seemed to revel in other people's misery.
Lee's hand slid from Craig's shoulder to his throat, pressing lightly against it but barely able to control the urge, the need, to squeeze harder.
"You're nothing," Lee spat into Craig's face.
"You're wrong."
"You're worthless." Lee's grip tightened.
"You're wrong."
"You belong to me until I decide I've finished with you."
The ever-increasing pressure against his throat caused Craig's gagging reflex to kick in and he could see the sick pleasure glinting in Lee's eyes as he struggled to pull the air into his lungs.
"I was just thinking how gorgeous you are… how amazing… how glad I am to be here."
Craig knew it must have been a warm breeze but, for a second, he felt certain that it was John Paul's breath he could feel whispering in his ear.
Lee gasped in shock as he staggered backwards. He couldn't remember Craig ever having the strength or the courage to push him away like that. He might beg or plead but if Lee had wanted something Craig had never tried to stop him before.
"I belong to no one," Craig said confidently, the fear in his chest being quickly replaced by disgust as he looked at the man who he had allowed to menace him for too long. "But I choose John Paul… I love John Paul."
"Who the hell do you think you are?" Lee snarled as he raised his hand to strike down the man that dared defy him.
With reactions that he didn't know he possessed Craig grabbed Lee's fist before it struck, his grip around the man's hand tight and unyielding.
"I'm Craig Dean… I don't know who or what you are." With a shove Craig sent Lee crashing back against the wall and watched with satisfaction at the uncertainty that seemed to cross over Lee's features.
Lee couldn't believe what was happening. This wasn't the way things should be; it wasn't the way he had planned. Craig should be whimpering by now and begging Lee to stop, not this sudden show of strength. Moving away from the wall Lee growled deeply in his throat, he couldn't let things end like this, he had to make Craig sorry, to make him suffer and, best of all, make him bleed.
"Craig Dean is a snivelling pathetic little…" Lee's words were cut short as a fist smashed hard into his mouth, the sharp metallic taste of blood filling it instantly as he lost his balance and crumpled to the ground.
"Craig Dean is so much better than you," Craig said as he looked at the spattering of blood across his knuckles. There was a satisfaction to be gained from finally hitting back but not a pleasure, and it sickened him to think he had shared his bed, and his body, with a man who would enjoy such pleasures.
"You're pathetic," Lee snarled, spitting the blood from his mouth.
"I'm not the one on the ground bleeding."
"Not this time maybe…"
"Never again…"
"You think you've beaten me?"
"I don't need to beat you Lee," Craig told him, "You're not that important."
With a deep cleansing breath Craig turned away, there was somewhere he would much rather be and someone he would rather be with.
"This isn't over," Lee called after him.
Craig paused for a second and turned to look back. "I think we both know it is…"
---
John Paul was pacing the length of the flat and glancing at his watch every few seconds. Craig had been gone fifteen minutes already, the walk to the shop was only five minutes each way so why was he not back yet, and why was the burning fear in the pit of his stomach growing second upon second?
The sound of a key scraping against the lock was like the sweetest piece of music John Paul had ever heard, a tune that told him of Craig's safe return home.
Craig's smile illuminated his face as he walked into the flat, as if he had brought the bright morning sunshine inside with him and, as his eyes settled on John Paul, his smile grew even more dazzling.
"Milk?" John Paul asked as he noticed the absence of shopping in Craig's hands.
"Ahh… I forgot…"
"Forgot? How could you…" John Paul stopped as he saw the deep red stain on Craig's knuckles. "You're bleeding…"
Looking at his hand Craig shook his head. "It's not mine."
"Then who… what?"
"Lee."
John Paul felt the room spin. He should never have let Craig go out alone, he knew the dangers but he still let him go. If Lee hurt him again, if Lee had… John Paul let his thoughts readjust for a moment. Craig had blood on his hand that wasn't his and that could only mean one thing.
"You hit him?" John Paul asked with wide-eyed amazement.
"Yeah… yeah I did… and you know what?"
"What?"
"He's not so scary!"
"No. No he really isn't." John Paul couldn't believe how proud he felt of the dark haired man standing before him. He felt overwhelmed by the glow deep inside Craig's eyes, stunned by how strong the man looked, how confident and how incredibly beautiful.
"Tell me you love me," Craig said quietly as he stepped forward and took both of John Paul's hands in his own.
"You know I do."
"I know… but I like to hear it."
"Craig Dean you are gorgeous," John Paul began with a deep smile, "and smart and funny and sexy and… and I thank all the gods in heaven every day for giving me this chance to be with you again… I love you Craig, more than I ever knew was possible… and I'm gonna carry on loving you for as long as you'll let me."
Craig tightened his grip on John Paul's hands, sending a shooting pain racing through the still unhealed cut that ran through the centre of the blonde man's palm but John Paul hardly noticed. Craig was holding him tightly, the Craig Dean that he had loved since the day they first met and would love for the rest of his life. What was a little discomfort compared to that?
Craig's eyes held a dark magic that made it impossible for John Paul to move even a fraction of an inch. If he had wanted to move that was, if there had been another place on the planet that he would rather have been standing at that moment in time, which of course there wasn't.
John Paul had cursed himself for not noticing on the first day he arrived in Dublin, for not seeing the dullness that lingered behind the richness of Craig's eyes, for not being able to see that there was something missing, that there was something not quite right. But any strange behaviour, any differences he might have perceived that day had been quickly dismissed as Craig's anger at John Paul's sudden reappearance in his life and just as quickly forgotten in the heat of the passion that had soon consumed them.
Craig's hold on John Paul's hands tightened as the men stood in the centre of the flat, their eyes melded together in an infusion of brown and blue that came together to create the perfect colour of love.
"Thank you," Craig said softly.
"What for?"
"Being here…"
"I should have come sooner…"
"It doesn't matter…"
"But if I had…"
"It doesn't matter…"
"Craig I am sorry… I let you down and…"
"It doesn't matter," Craig repeated firmly. "You're here now, we're here… everything else… it's done… gone… I love you John Paul McQueen and I never thought I'd get the chance to say that to you again… to show you again…"
"Show me?" John Paul's question was lost in the heat of Craig's breath as the men's mouths collided fiercely.
With his newly remembered strength Craig pushed John Paul back until he came to rest against the solidness of the door, raising the man's hands until they were held pinned above his head, never for one second breaking the contact of their lips as their tongues danced together in celebration.
Pressing his hands hard against John Paul's palm felt the brush of stitches that were holding together the skin of the hand only recently stripped of it's bandage and hesitated. Dark brown eyes flickered up in concern.
"Am I hurting you?" Craig asked, releasing his hold slightly, his eyes fixed on the angry wound across John Paul's skin.
"No," John Paul replied, "No you're not…"
"Are you sure… cause I don't want to…"
Curling his fingers tightly around Craig's loosened grip John Paul smiled. "Craig," he said gently.
"Yeah?"
"Shut up and kiss me!"
The sharp nagging pain through John Paul's hand was lost under the intense pleasure of Craig's kiss and the weight of Craig's body pressing him hard against the door until he could feel every delicious curve of the man.
Craig felt as if his heart was ready to burst through his chest it was racing so fast. Nothing had ever felt as exciting as kissing John Paul did at that moment, nothing had ever tasted as wonderful as John Paul's lips and nothing have ever made him feel more alive or more complete than the knowledge of John Paul's love.
"God nobody's ever turned me on as much as you do," Craig said breathlessly as he pressed his groin hard against John Paul's growing arousal, making the younger man groan in pleasurable frustration.
Releasing his hold of John Paul's hands Craig began to tear at the man's jeans, releasing his belt and quickly slipping open the button that obstructed his much needed access. John Paul gasped as Craig's hand plunged into his boxers, grasping his erection firmly, his eyes sparkling as he observed the look of abandoned desire in the deep blue of John Paul's gaze.
The weight of John Paul's arms slowly encouraged them to fall from where Craig had left them stretched above his head and, as his hands came close to Craig's face he paused to brush his fingertips lightly over Craig's soft cheeks.
"Did I mention how gorgeous you are?" John Paul breathed as he fell into the mesmerising, exciting depths of Craig deep dark eyes.
"I think so," Craig whispered in reply, enjoying the sensation of making John Paul's body tremble at his touch, watching the man's soft blue eyes darken second by second as the strength of his desire grew.
"Good… because you are," John Paul gasped softly as Craig fingers tightened around him, "God Craig I…"
The ability to form any further coherent words escaped John Paul as Craig's grip moved slowly but deliberately up and down his length, making every nerve in his body spark with fire until he thought his legs might give way.
There was a serene confidence in Craig's smile as he teased John Paul's flesh into submission, he knew for certain, with no further hesitations or doubts, that this was the life he wanted, the love he wanted and he was never going to let anyone take it from him again.
"I want you so much John Paul," Craig said quietly as his lips traced kisses over John Paul's face before settling against the man's delicious mouth to kiss him with a fervour that left them both gasping for air and shaking with a total overwhelming need for each other.
"Make love to me," Craig said, almost begged, "I need you to… you have to… please I…"
"Craig what is it?" Looking into Craig's dark eyes John Paul could see something more than love, more than desire or lust and he could hear the desperation in Craig's voice for something he didn't understand.
"I need you to claim me back," Craig whispered, "I need you to take back what's yours… what always was yours."
"Oh Craig…"
"Take it away John Paul," Craig said, kissing John Paul's lips gently, "Take away the memories that he was ever inside me… take me back to being just us again."
"I love you so much Craig," John Paul said as the man stepped back from him, the heat of his hand slipping from John Paul's hungry flesh as he reached to pull his top from over his head.
Within a matter of minutes the floor was strewn with clothing and the two men reached for each other's naked bodies, holding together in a tight embrace as they kissed with the passion of long lost, reunited lovers. Which is how they felt. Which is what they were.
Deep moans mingled with hot breaths as the men pressed their bodies tightly together, hard throbbing erections rubbing together in earnest until the desire within them both threatened to ignite the room.
Without comment Craig took John Paul's place against the door, kissing his lover again before turning to face the smooth creaminess of the paintwork. His need for John Paul ran so much deeper than a physical desire. He needed to put the last memories of Lee from his mind, to replace the moments that Lee was inside him with the recollection of being possessed by John Paul, of being claimed by John Paul, the man who truly loved him.
Kissing the back of Craig's neck softly John Paul let his hands run over the tempting roundness of the man's buttocks, squeezing them firmly to the appreciative sighs that escaped from Craig's parted lips.
"I've never loved anyone like I love you," John Paul breathed as he continued to nuzzle into the warm flesh of Craig's neck. "I've never wanted anyone like I want you…"
John Paul's kisses trailed over Craig's broad back, his tongue tickling over Craig's shoulder blades and down his spine as he slowly sank to his knees, a gasp of pleasure filling the room as John Paul's tongue slipped between the cheeks that his hands held parted and lapped gently at the tight opening nestled between.
Craig's fingers clawed at the door and he closed his eyes giving himself to the absolute pleasure that John Paul's firm tongue was providing, pushing gently inside him and swirling slowly around as the man's flesh opened up to his attentions.
With every passing second John Paul's erection seemed to get harder, his all consuming desire for Craig almost making his head spin until he could hold back no longer. Getting slowly to his feet John Paul moistened his palm before stroking over the length of his throbbing cock and guiding its head against the opening that his tongue had prepared.
Craig gasped again as he felt the tip of John Paul's cock pushing into him, breaching the tight ring of muscle before his body seemed to pull the man inside hungrily. Craig couldn't have said if he felt that initial discomfort that usually came with such intrusion into his body. All he was certain of was John Paul pushing firmly inside him, making love to him the way it should be.
John Paul had been with a few other men since Craig but, as he sank deep into the heat of the man's tight passage, he couldn't remember one of them. He was certain that nothing had ever felt like this, no one's body had ever accommodated his length to such perfection. No other body in the world was made to match his own so completely.
With a slow, gentle motion John Paul began to move inside Craig's hot flesh, both men moaning softly at the exquisite pleasure that flowed through their bodies.
With one hand on Craig's hips John Paul reached around the man's frame to grip onto the hard length of his cock, stroking it tightly and firmly in time with the thrusts of his hips that drove his own cock ever deeper into the beauty of Craig's body.
Craig's moans grew louder as the thickness of John Paul's cock filled him completely, caressing over that most perfect of spots time and time again as his hand ran up and down the length of his erection until the pleasure was almost too much to bare.
John Paul sank his teeth into the sweetness of Craig neck as he moved faster and deeper into the man, the sounds of their combined moans as their flesh became one filled the room and John Paul could feel his body screaming for release as the tightness of Craig's body begged to be filled with his essence.
"Oh god John Paul I… fuck I'm gonna…" Craig's words fell from his mouth in desperate pants as his whole body shuddered, "Tell me again how much you love me."
"More than anything or anyone," John Paul insisted with harder and faster thrusts inside Craig, his hand gripping the man's cock tighter as it began to pulse heavily with the first moments of Craig's climax.
"I love you Craig… I love you… I…" John Paul's words were lost in his mouth as the sounds of his moans of pleasure took over, his legs shaking as his orgasm built quickly inside him until there was no option but to release it.
Craig's cock throbbed out its desire in John Paul's hand, the heat of his pleasure pouring from it as Craig cried out in total abandon, neither knowing nor caring if the occupants of the other flats could hear him as he rested his head against the door and let his climax rip through every atom of his body.
The sounds of John Paul's pleasured cries blended with Craig's in a chorus of pure satisfaction as he came hard and fast inside Craig's body, filling the man with the heat of his desire until they were both completely spent.
Panting and breathless John Paul let his body fall against Craig's back, the support of the door the only thing keeping them both upright as weakness took over their contented bodies.
"I love you Craig," John Paul panted against Craig's ear as he fought to pull much needed air back into his lungs.
"I love you too John Paul," Craig replied as a small, happy tear trickled over his cheek. He was John Paul's again, and this time it would be forever.