---- I waited for 2,000 hits before I wrote this chapter, and yes I finally reached my mark so here is Chapter 8. This Chapter is dedicated to BellaCinderella, thank god you actually gave me constructive criticism! It really helped me and I think I can definitely do a much better job, and Elizabeth Mary is yes a next door neighbor that had a thing for Edward. And I thought Edward would be a bit straight forward when he was human, compared to when he was human (sorry this took so long but I not only wanted to make sure this chapter was okay, I had an evil bio take home testwhat kind of freakin teacher does that, plus other various homework assignments!), Your reviews rock and always help me!!! Also give suggestions I am low on creation right now so I'm a little fuzzy on what I want to do right now…. Hmmm… Oh Well here ya guys go ENJOY but some insight would be helpful:) -------

Chapter 8

I was groggy with sleep and the stench of blood suffocated me, but I knew I could make it past this. I had to.

Speaking of which how long have I been asleep? I felt lethargic and irate at myself. How could I even sleep at a time like this!

I automatically reached my arms out in search. Nothing…nothing….nothing! My eyes frantically flew open. There was a vast space to the left of my body. No, not yet! I'm not ready… How could I be so selfish?

But than where was the blood coming from?

I tried to sit up causing the worst pain ripple down my chest. I couldn't control my spasms of pain. I must have been panting. What's going on? "Ahhhhhh!" I shuddered as the noise escaped my lips.

"What's going on," I was gurgling. "Carlisle, Carlisle!" I was sobbing as I tried with all my might to call his name. The nurses came running to restrain me.

"Get off me," I hoarsely attempted to shout but failed miserably. That's when my vision became clouded by a mix of pink like haze, not affecting my vision as much as I thought it would.

"Ms. Swann, you need to calm down, this isn't helping you at all," one of the nurses tried to soothe me, but I heard her strained tone. That's when I could no longer take it. My stomach could take only so much of the smell. It felt weakening to have the little liquids in my stomach, heaved right out of my body.

With what little strength I had left I managed to keep my hazy vision fixed on whatever that could soothe my mind. So I let my thoughts wander. A dangerous but easy thing to do. I wonder where Edward is. Or how his neighbor, Elizabeth Mary was doing where ever she was. It only saddened me further to think of that name. How was Edward's mother doing? If she wasn't dead yet she must be gripping with what ever little strength she had left.

Then an angel beseeched my vision with his presence, it was Carlisle. His exquisite murmurs were like a final lullaby. But whom was he speaking to?

I had to have enough strength to curb my little curiosity that kept me from dying just that moment. So I strained my blood encrusted ears to listen as close as possible.

"Is it time?" he spoke to no one. Was my eyesight that bad? Is it simply, that my ears have just been tricking themselves?

I couldn't trust anything anymore; I wanted to be freed from this situation. The only thing I know I would regret losing would be him.

My angel, savior, and love of my life.

I never believed in love at first sight. But we were stronger than that. I grew to accept that final epiphany. He had to of loved me.

No matter what he told me in reality. I will never want anything but him. So if I die now, at least that brings me closer to his non-beating heart. I couldn't help but smile at the irony. We'll finally have a physical characteristic alike; my heart will be as silent as his.

He was in way more pain than me. The thought of that burning sensation, made me shudder; causing Carlisle to look at me in a reassuring smile.

"Ca-," my uttered whisper was interrupted my gagging reflexes, but since nothing was in my stomach, crimson liquid started to pour out.

That only hurt my stomach more, causing more to erupt from me. When would it be to much blood? Why wouldn't I just die already? I've lost more than I could take. And I listed the names of the people I loved…. Not in a flash back like manner, but a self tortured, remembrance. Even this horrid sickness didn't emotionally hurt me this much!

I now watched Carlisle talk to himself again. I'm not mentally sick; I assured my ever depleting self esteem. I was in to much pain to sleep. It felt as if tiny shards were taking there slow torturous time killing me.

Why did Romeo and Juliet have such an easy out? Suicide was easy. But I was too weak to kill myself. How much I envied them before, but now I really was jealous.

Of course I pitied Paris but he didn't have it this bad!

My mind twisted when Carlisle words became gentler and appraising; with that his voice became even more foreign to me. With nothing left to do, and my thoughts depressing me even more, I decided to close my eyes. The scary part was finding out if they would ever open again.

Did I dare? It's better than soiling my wretched corpse further, I tried to convince myself. I realized I was terrified of dying. I was an insolent for the thought; I mean it would be better than suffering, an easy out.

I just couldn't make myself realize my sullen heart was numbered. It only beat and pumped louder, as if to make me listen to my slow repulsive death.

"It's time." I heard his words so clearly. It rung with finality.

"Isabella can you here me?" I was stunned how did he know what was going on? And why was his voice so clear. I didn't feel anything. It wasn't a numbing sensation; it was a relaxed pleasant tranquil aura.

"Open your eyes."

I was terrified by the thought of what I would see. But Carlisle never gave me a reason not to trust him. So I obeyed.

Again he never ceased to amaze me. I was in the woods. It looked like Forks…Home…That sent a shiver down my spine.

"You owe me an explanation," my voice was the same as always, healthy and full of life.

"You're right, but I have an offer to make you," his voice was amused. I found nothing funny anymore.

"Go on," I initiated.

He spoke carefully, measuring every word with care. "Now you have two choices, you have experienced both so you have insight into your situation." I started to feel nervous. His words made no sense!

He chuckled seeing my facial expression, I guessed I looked dumbstruck, but how do I know? He continued, as effortlessly as ever, "First you could stay here in Forks. Return to how things were before Victoria, killed you." I was obviously still absorbed on this information. I'm dead! Wait….I knew that…. "Then how-" was all I managed to choke out before being interrupted. "Or you could stay in Chicago, and live a normal life here, before the epidemic killed you, again." He saw the burning desire behind my cold glass eyes. "Yes, Mr. Masen would be a normal human and still alive."

I still looked at him in an unimaginable way. He was offering me everything I ever wanted out of my petty life. But then I thought of Renee and Charlie. And my obnoxious friend Jake, the thought of losing him made me shudder.

I weighed each decision in my head, thoroughly…

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---Before you all say you don't get it, she's in purgatory. And Carlisle, is using his gift you could say to give her a chance at her longings. I thought this only appropriate because he believes so thoroughly about them having souls, even if their vampires. Soooo yeah she has choice to make! I hope you enjoyed, and give insight,

ps: I dont like the whole song lyric thingy in the begining of a chapter like I've used before (not being a hypocrite) But check out the song "My heart will go on" by Sissel... I listened to that the whole time writting this chapter...

YES IT MAY BE A BAD STORY BUT I WOULD APPRECIATE TELLING ME WHAT IS AWFUL ABOUT IT---- LOL :

LOVE