A/N I don't own it.
First, my heart felt thoughts to Natasha Richardson's family. She was one of my favorite actresses and it should remind us always that life is so precious and when it is time to go – it is time.
Second, thank you for all your reviews – bad and good. To anotherlamescreenname – thank you for your kind pm and giving me the extra push to continue.
Please understand – it will eventually be a E/B story – but life isn't that easy and we must always remember that. Edward is still a child even though he thinks he is ready for this – a dedicated life with one woman. He has always been a playboy. Think about it – will a playboy really change just over night. I don't think so.
As well, let's think about Bella – did she really forget about Demetri that quickly. Could you?
Anyway, I hope I didn't disappoint too many and I didn't lose too many.
We will have George come back and a bad mama Angie…ooooohhhh.
BTW – someone asked about the statement that was made about Mina not being taken away. Emmett screamed that to Edward and Mina. Emmett adores that baby and know that Bella would be the perfect parent. Now, he know Edward would bring nothing good at this particular relationship and Emmett will do everything to stop from Mina having Edward and Lauren as her parents.
This is dedicated to my new found buddy and fello insomniac DreamAngel9686. GO READ HER FIC!! THEY ARE FANTASTIC!!
Bella POV
I don't know where to go. I had to turn my cell phone off cause every fucking 5 minutes it keeps vibrating. God damn phone! Where can I go? I wish Demetri's grave was here. I want to go there. I did this too soon. I should have listen to my head than my heart. I knew this was all wrong. Edward wasn't ready for this. I knew it. Shit – he wasn't ready for Mina. When he was frustrated he would bring Mina over and leave. Shit! Shit! Shit! Where do I go? ….The only place I could go….
I had to go see my mom, dad and little brother. Maybe they can help me.
"Hi Mommy. Hi Daddy. Hi Steve. I am sorry I haven't come by to say hello. I miss you three so much. I know you must have seen Demetri up there. Please tell him that I love him and miss him so much. Oh mommy and daddy, what am I going to do? I gave Edward a chance and he just took it and threw it out the window. Why? Am I just not worthy of having just love in my life. I had Demetri and God took him away and now this shit happens. I can't leave either. Carlisle and Esme have been so good to me and I owe it to them to help them find those cures we are so close to getting. Please help me. Please help me clear my head."
After an hour of crying and talking to them, I left. I knew where to go.
"Hello."
"Hey Leah, it's Bella…"
"Bella, everyone is looking for you. Where are you?"
"I can't say. Leah, is Jacob around?"
"No hon, Billy and he left in the truck looking for you."
"Call him and tell him to go home. I will call Carlisle. Is the cottage still yours?"
"Oh honey – yes and it's yours if you need it. You know where the key is right?"
"Yes Leah. Please don't tell anyone. Just tell Jacob and Billy but tell them in secrecy. I need to be away. I don't know when I will come back but I don't want to see anyone ok?"
"Bella – just don't do anything drastic."
"I won't hon. I love you and give Jakey a big kiss from me."
I hung up. Let me call Carlisle. He picked up on the first ring.
"Bella! Where are you?"
"Are you alone?"
"Esme is with me Bella. Are you ok?"
"I am well as can be expected. Carlisle, let me speak. I am not going to leave you high and dry. I love you and Esme very much and I love my job. I am going to continue to work, but not in the lab. I will work from outside. I am not going to tell you or anybody where I will be, but I will be in Seattle. Any findings, emails, questions, etc – I beg of you must come through you or Angela. For now, I want no other contact. I need to clear my heart and my head."
"Bella, take some time off, please…."
"Carlisle, if I don't work, then you will find me dead in the ocean. Work will help me. It has always helped me. I can't go home – I am too embarressed. I don't want to even imagine what Mum and Dad think of me…"
"They are worried sick sweetheart. They would never think bad of you. Please…"
"Carlisle, I love you like a father. Please understand. I need to be away for now. I know Alice, Rose, Jasper and Emmett might think I am punishing them, but I just need to be away from everything and everyone."
"OK. I understand. Mina misses you. She has been crying for her momma."
"That what hurts me the most Carlisle. Edward never thought with his brain or his heart. He thought with his dick. Mina is the best thing in my life and now that Lauren is in the picture, I am not anything to my precious girl."
Esme got on the phone "Honey, Emmett will not allow it. Rose has Mina and will not allow Lauren to come near her. Bella, do you need anything?"
"Esme, please pack me a bag with comfortable clothes, sweatpants, jeans, socks, etc. Pack me my charger and both laptops, pens, notebooks. Once you are ready, we three can meet if that is ok?"
"Sure honey. I will call in about an hour."
Esme and Carlisle did what I asked. No one was around and went unnoticied as they got all the stuff I needed. They called me and I asked them to meet me by their lake house. When they saw me, they enveloped me in a big hug and that is when I cried. I cried for so long but it felt good afterwards. I told them I was going in hiding but I would send them emails periodically. I promised I would contact their kids soon enough, but I made them promise to please help Mina out. I said my good bye and left with groceries and my stuff and went to Jacob's cottage on the outskirts of Seattle. I needed to be here.
Carlisle POV
Bella was just gone. It wasn't our Bella anymore. Edward had completely destroyed her. I cannot imagine what she is going through. What the hell is wrong with Edward? I thought he had changed. Is he just on drugs? What made him go back to Lauren after what that horrible and disgusting woman did? I have to figure how to get Mina away from Edward. I really think that Mina should be with Bella. She loves her more than life itself and she know about Down Syndrome. Mina is going to be heartbroken. I have to have Rose and Emmett show Bella's picture to Mina so she won't forget who her real momma is.
Esme looks so destroyed. We are just waiting for the kids to come back. I already called them to give up and come back. I don't even know where Edward is.
"Dad! Mom!"
"In the kitchen!"
Emmett, Jasper and Alice came in. Emmett had Edward by his neck and threw him on the counter. Jasper spoke first. "Dad, did you see Bella?"
"Yes – she called and we brought her some stuff and she is gone. She won't tell us where she went but she wanted to let Emmett , Jasper , Alice and Rosalie that to forgive her for not going to you and she will call when she is ready."
Alice was crying. "Dad – how is she?"
"Dead Alice – I have never seen Bella this way, not even when Demetri died."
Emmett then went to Edward and gave him another punch "What the fuck were you thinking? Oh yeah, I know – with your fucking dick. God damn it Edward – why? Why ? Why!!!! And with the slut!!!"
"Fuck Emmett don't you think I had enough physical punishment. Shit – I didn't even get to cum."
Then Jasper hit him "You fucking low life bastard. That is all you think about. Fuck Edward – I will give you this – you had us all fooled. We all thought you changed but you haven't. You are still the manwhore and asshole we hated. I never thought I would ever say this, but I hate being related to you."
"Fuck you. It's been a long time for me. No real physical stimulus. Bella didn't want to give me any. You think I could wait any longer…"
Then what surprised the hell out of us was Esme.
Esme POV
That did it. I had to hit him. I hadn't hit him over 20 years, but this is ridiculus. I gave him the hardest open palm smack I could give him. SLAP!
"Mom, what the hell?"
ANOTHER SLAP.
"Edward Cullen – you respect me. Now, what you did tonight is unforgivable. Do you have any idea what you have lost? You have lost any chance at love? You lost your only true love. Was all the shit you told me on how you loved Bella?"
"Mom – no I love her, I still do…"
"But you show her this…"
"She would have never known if…"
"She was planning a beautiful evening with you. I asked not too, but she thought it was time. She knew you were upset that she hadn't given her the last precious thing she could give. My God Edward, you FUCKED UP! I don't know who you are any more."
"Mom,.."
"Don't Mom me. I will tell you something right now, straighten up NOW. YOU ARE NOT A CHILD ANYMORE EDWARD. YOUR ACTIONS HAS CONSEQUENCES. YOU JUST DESTROYED A BEAUTIFUL HEART AND A BEAUTIFUL SOUL.."
"Mom…
"Stop Edward. Mina from now on is staying with me or Rosie and Emmett. Since Lauren is in your life, she will not be part of her life. Your father and I are considering the Mina either stay with Emmett and Rosalie or Bella adopt her."
"WHAT! MOM SHE IS MY DAUGHTER!!!"
"YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT BEFORE YOU THOUGHT OF FUCKING WITH LAUREN. MINA DOESN'T DESERVE THIS. DID YOU KNOW THAT SHE CALLED BELLA 'MOMMA'. BELLA DIDN'T WANT THAT TO BE HER FIRST WORDS, SHE WANTED DADDA."
"Mom, you have no right…"
"Edward, you lost your right over her. You will not see her. You will not talk to her. You will straighten up and pray that Bella will be able to forgive you."
He kept quiet. Carlisle had to continue.
"Edward, first, if you don't love Bella, don't pursue her anymore. Let her go. If you do love her, pray that one day she will forgive you. Lastly, I never thought I would ever say this about any son, but for the first time in my life I have never been so ashamged in my life."
Edward POV
I can't believe I fucking did this. What the hell is wrong with me? And with Lauren? I do love Bella, with all my heart, but I just really was thinking with my dick. I think I really need help. Maybe once everything cools down, I will talk to Dad and have him help me find someone to help me.
I keep seeing Bella's face when she saw me. I will never be able to live this down. Damn, Demetri is going to kill me in my sleep. George – shit, he will have a hit man out on me.
I have to clean this up. I have to find Bella.
March 1, 2009
Alice POV
I miss my friend. I miss our Bella. We were having Sunday breakfast with mom and dad. Edward gave up on looking for Bella. He admitted he had a problem and Dad found him a place to get better. He had some issues that needed to be fixed and he was borderline sexual addict. Thank God he never contracted any diseases, but he has a long road to take to get better. He still has hopes that Bella will forgive him and be able to love him. I highly doubt that. He gave up custody of Mina and Emmett and Rosalie are her legal guardians now. Rosie is loving motherhood. Mina really loves her but we still keep showing her pictures of Bella and she still calls her momma.
Lauren never came back to the building. Last I heard she had found some rich man and was one of his whores. Good riddance. I hope we never see her again. Dad placed a restraining order against her and cannot be anywhere near us or Mina or she would get arrested.
We still miss Bella, I miss Bella. I keep going to her apartment to clean and make sure everything is ready for her comeback. Dad told us that she keeps working and has made strides with all the experiments. Angela told me that her voice is not the same. She asks about her friends but that's it. I hope she comes back to us. Mom has spoken to Tanya and though they are worried, they know Bella has survived worse things. I hope so – I wouldn't know what to do if I would find Jasper in that situation.
March 19
Bella POV
I have slowly called my friends back. Emmett and Rose have been really great especially with my Mina. Alice and Jasper, what can I say about them – they have been so supportive. Carlisle and Esme – well, I would never be able to ask for another "parents" as they have been with me.
Jacob and Leah have been so great with me. They have helped me a lot and have allowed me to just simply cry. They have held me and they have yelled at me. I have been taught by Jacob and Leah that I have to stop being so weak. I need to stop this shit. It is Edward's loss and not mine. Leah told me that I was lucky to find out now about him than later when I would be engaged or married.
After a lot of soul searching, I have decided to come back home. I am just going to begin living life again. I have my work and I have my 'family' and I need to live for them and live my life to the fullest. Life is too short. I need to enjoy it no matter what. I need to change too, everything – but with no help at all from anyone. I am going to be a better Bella, a stronger Bella. This Bella is not the naïve stupid bitch. I won't take no shit from anyone anymore. I know who can help me too..
Ring….Ring…
"Hello."
"Hey Angie. I need your help."