Hey there! I finally got to finish this chapter. I only hope it'll be good enough. Please comment!!
This chapter is still from Sharpay's point of view, but later on there will be some chapters written differently – from the point of view of some others. Don't worry; I'll give information on when that happens.
Another thing: The trailer for the story is up on YouTube now, so if you're interested go and get a look at it. (It's not that good though – read the video description there) The title: What Hurts The Most ; By: JustDifferentMe.
Oh, and there's also a new story I started writing: The Simple Things of Evergreen. Check it out!
Enough said! – Go ahead and read - - - - - - And REVIEW!!
DON'T
You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to things you don't want to feel.
In fact it's just nothing more then that. But then again, you cannot walk the Earth blinded by pretending. One day your eyes have to open and your heart must spill your feelings. Just because you don't want to see it, that doesn't make it go away – just because you don't want to feel it doesn't mean it's not true.
I couldn't tell Ryan what happened. For one, I was crying incessantly and my cries made it impossible to form any words. Ryan tried all possible: He rubbed my back, held me in his arms, and said everything to make me stop crying. By the time I calmed down it already darkened and I was too tired to say anything at all – seriously anything. Silently, he led me inside and thankfully didn't push it. I knew he wanted to know it – Jesus, it was basically imprinted on his forehead, but I couldn't. I didn't want myself to know, yet alone him.
For the next 2 hours I departed to my bedroom. Man, was it cold – the perfect atmosphere for the Ice Queen. I hated her at the moment more then anyone else and me too. I hated myself. I just wanted to walk out, walk out and get out of touch with reality. Illusion is always better. It's just always better.
At eight o'clock, as promised, I showed up in the kitchen, where Ramona waited with a cup of hot chocolate for me. She smiled as she spotted me in the doorway and nodded towards the empty chair beside her. My feet painfully dragged me to the table, where I sat down and held onto the cup, Ramona shoved me across the table, for dear life. As I told her before – it would turn out to be one long and complicated story.
Surprisingly, she never interrupted me until I finished and it somehow wasn't difficult to speak about it. Words came and went, as the sentences started to form a pattern. Troy. The kiss. The feeling. The incident. The knockout. The hatred and betrayal. The Meeting. Gabriella. Troy. God, the feeling as he whispered in my ear. Even emotions took over me and my features as I spoke. I was either calm or I was furious. Infatuated or disturbed. But she just sat there, a hand supporting her head and listened as long as it took me to finish. Finally letting my hands fall to my sides, my breathing shallow, I asked her what she thought about it.
"I think……" She started, slowly devouring the information. "…That is a little much drama-Even for you." I blinked a few times and swallowed a lump in my throat, that's been stuck there since I started talking.
"That's all?" I was kind of perplexed.
"No." She laughed and continued, looking at me. "Although I believe you'll have to tell me what you think about it, for me to be able to give you an advice."
"I think it pretty much sucks." I sighed hopelessly and leaned myself back in the chair, crossing my arms.
"Language, Miss Sharpay."
"Aspira, then." I responded quickly.
"Better" She smiled a little – I bet she stiffened back a laugh. I mean, she's the one who swears in Spanish, when mother and father are around. "But that won't help you……And I can't either if you yourself are not in terms with your feelings."
I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment. This is so messed up. And It's giving me a headache. Ramona's voice brought me back again.
"Aunque, I would gladly tell that muchacho bonito my mind and send his asno atractivo in the desert. " Did I hear her right?!
"Cute butt?" I snorted, with an attempt to stop myself from bursting out laughing out loud and narrowed my head to the side, obviously amused. "Aren't we a little frisky, Ramona?"
"Chica, you can't tell me you disagree with me there, now can you?" Ramona raised an eyebrow at me and placed her hands firmly against her hips, still in a sitting position. She was right. I did not disagree. I couldn't disagree. But, I also couldn't keep a straight face for the next five minutes.
Somehow, I found myself in front of East High School the next morning - without Ryan. How? He had some kind of meeting with his baseball coach and I told him he should go ahead. If I'd have said, he should wait for me, he would have. But I didn't. So much for that, eh.
And there I was, standing at the front doors of East High, not sure, whether I should go in or not. I sighed. I wanted it in no way, but I hadn't much time left. Glancing at my wristwatch, I found it was already 7.50. Great.
As soon as I found myself inside the old building, I pretty much regretted my decision. Loud voices invaded my ears from all sides, either talking, laughing or even shouting. Holly…Damn, my head hurt. It was like someone took a hammer and started recklessly pounding on my skull with it. I would have gladly screamed on top of my lungs for everybody…..to…..shut…up! – What a nice way to catch attention, isn't it? I really didn't need attention that day, so I let it be. Chatting and flirting, screaming and laughing their heads off – Damn, I hate the suburbs.
I took a few steps down the hallway, when suddenly noticing a few eyes on me….wait, a lot of eyes, actually. Are they looking at me? I slowed down a bit, confused at the reaction. Excuse me, do I have something on my face or what? Then it hit me. I sighed deeply and closed my eyes for a brief second. The awkward scene yesterday, where I passed out – in the middle of the hallway! I almost forgot; how could I forget? As soon as I reopened my eyes, my head rose high. I straightened myself, dismissed the odd looks and I continued down the hall – like a real Ice Queen – towards my locker.
You think the way should have gone pretty well, but I just don't have that kind of luck. Turning the corner, I spotted from afar the group – in details meaning: Taylor, Chad, Kelsi, Jason, Gabriella and Troy – gathered at Taylor's and Gabriella's lockers. The usual: Taylor in Chad's arms, Kelsi in Jason's and Gabriella in…..Troy's. Acting like nothing happened. Darn, that hurts. That really hurts. Kelsi was the first to notice my presence and as it looked to me, let the others know, when their heads, one by one, turned in my direction. Walking. I kept on walking and I saw the deep blue eyes burning holes through me.
I was a step away from them, when Taylor took that step to meet me in the middle, placing a hand on my arm, before I could even look at her.
"Hey Sharpay, you okay?" Her voice was somewhat concerning. "I mean what happened yesterday was-" I quickly cut her off. So much for a topic I didn't want to hear about.
"I only fainted." My response was hard and quick. "Don't make a soap opera out of it, McCanzie."
My eyes narrowed at the end, obviously not unnoticed. Taylor's mouth was slightly open, and she blinked a few times. Chad, who approached and put an arm around Taylor's waist, decided to butt in. – Not a good move, Danforth.
"Whoa, got your PMS or something, Evans?" He chuckled. Asshole ."Let me guess - you managed to already make someone cry today?" What? Does he think this is funny? Haha, what a comedian.
"Sadly, no. But then again it's only 8 am." I said, after glancing from my wristwatch back up at him. "And if you want I can start with you!" I 'barked out' the last part quite harsh, which made his smile cease a little. And before he knew it, I threw in something of my own and crashed my teeth together a few inches in front of his face, as if I was to bite him. He stepped back at that, his eyes somehow wide opened in shock. I moved away from them, approaching Kelsi and Jason, who quickly parted for me to go through. I smiled – now that's more like it. Kelsi and Jason were more from the……shy sort of people – that's why they fit so perfectly together. The next in my way and suddenly in my view was little miss do – it – right. Innocent, smart and…all that. Psh, what's so extraordinary about Gabriella Montez is beyond me.
The closer I came though and the longer my eyes stayed on her face – her devastated, sad face, hiding behind a veil of a collected person – the more I remembered what Troy told me and the less I seemed to dislike her. I tried to rotate the compassion into a twisted hatred, but somehow, just somehow I could understand her. Great, I'm not going to turn into one of those sappy people, am I? A step behind her stood Troy. I could see him from the corners of my eyes without looking at him though. My eyes remained on Gabriella, who turned to me completely, clutching the books in her hand to close herself.
I sighed. Loosing your parents is hard Not very healthy for you at such an age. I couldn't believe what I was about to do.
And so I tore my eyes from her and let them travel to the floor, tightened the grip on my bag and moved out of her way. I moved out of her way. I moved out of her way! Passing her, I only glanced towards Troy – it wasn't even supposed to be visible, but his eyes were still on me, still burning holes through me. I detached my eyes away from him and strolled down the hallway, to my locker and my first class. Although, I was a few feet away I could still hear it, when Chad and Taylor voiced themselves.
"What was that?"
"I don't know…..but I guess East High's just about to get a little bit colder."
I wasn't particularly hungry. I basically wasn't hungry at all. It was lunch and there I stood, at the end of the food line, considering, whether to take a plate and place myself in the line or not. It was either take a plate and join the gang or don't and be liberated from sitting at their table. I think I even counted pros and cons in my head, while I glanced at them. They were already seated and were obviously discussing something. I also saw that Gabriella wasn't in the mood for talking. She just sat there. She didn't even seem focused –
"Hey kid, you want something?" I heard a voice and to my surprise turned to a lunch lady looking at me, from behind the counter.
"Excuse me?" I was confused. I didn't quite listen to her.
"You've been standing there for awhile now."
"Oh." I exclaimed "No. No I was-" Something flashed quickly by me, and looking after the person I could tell from the back that it was Gabriella. She stormed right out of the cafeteria; the doors swinging from side to side as she disappeared behind them. I didn't bother to finish the sentence. My gaze drifted to the table again, where I saw Troy already on his way towards me or actually towards the cafeteria doors. I knew he went after her, but the moment he reached me I blocked his way. I stepped in front of him and looked into his eyes, so beautiful – Now is not the time, Sharpay! I kept looking and his eyes also focused on mine. My expression remained the same, it was neither cold, nor was it sad or angry – it was just steady. I don't know why I even did that, but he obviously got the message I wanted to transfer to him. He understood; he let me. Without a word. Without an emotion. That's how I exited the cafeteria through the same doors Gabriella vanished seconds before and I couldn't believe where I was off to.
I didn't have to look for long. I found Gabriella hunched at the bottom of one of the side stairs. She had her knees pressed to her chest, her hands covering her about now, red and puffy eyes, still crying. I stood there for a few seconds, still at the top of the stairs, with one hand in my hair. How should I accede to this? I never before had to comfort anybody. I had no idea how this was done rightly. Why again was I doing this? I sighed. I guessed I just had to go at it. Well, here goes nothing. I entangled my hand from my hair and cleared my throat so that she could hear. She quickly started to wipe at her tear-streaked cheeks, with the sleeve of her shirt and looked up at me, as I came down the stairs to her level.
"What are you doing here?" She asked, as I let myself down on a stair and crossed my arms over my knees. "I mean here in all places?"
"Well, I saw your…..swift exit back there." I shrugged "And I decided to pay you a visit."
"For what? Making fun of me?" Gabriella rolled her eyes and threw her arms in the air. "Go ahead, Sharpay. Give your best shot……… I really don't care."
I watched as she calmed down and snorted to her comment.
"God, you think I'm that shallow?"
She glanced at me, before leaving her eyes to rest on the stairs again. I sighed and leaned back.
"Look, I only came to-"I searched for words that seemed appropriate. This was new to me. "-check on you. You know, whether you are doing alright?"
"Are you kidding me?" She looked me straight in the eyes. "You?" I dismissed that her tone clung mocking and simply held back a harsh remark caught in my throat. It wouldn't help at all.
"Oh, how a reputation brands one, doesn't it?" She didn't respond. Gabriella only lay her head on her arms, which rested on her knees and stared in front of her. Silence filled out the place around us. It wasn't because I had to dig for words to use – I had the words, they were just hard to spit out. Especially to her. However, I managed to swallow my pride and get it over with.
"I'm sorry." The words left my mouth and her eyes found their way to me again. "For what happened to you father."
She straightened and raised her head of her arms. Her arms fell to her sides and she turned to me.
"How do you know about that?" She asked me in a small shock state.
"Well,-" I tried to explain, yet she cut me off with a low voice.
"Troy told you, didn't he?"
"All in all….Yes." I confessed to her, I didn't know though how she came to Troy. I quickly tried to save him from sounding so irresponsible. Why I was concerned about him was unexplainable even to me. "Can't blame him, I kind of...squeezed it out of him. Don't worry no one else knows."
Her eyes left me again and for a while, her stare was unalterable, until it changed to an agony and I could see tears were starting to gather in her eyes.
"He was like my best friend." She cried softly, a tear escaping down her swollen cheek. "You understand what I mean?" She looked back at me again. I have to say I was moved. I never thought I would see Gabriella Montez like that. So vulnerable, her eyes tired from the pain and crying. Then again; she would probably react the same way, if she'd see me in such a position.
"Yes, I believe I do." I whispered sincerely and found that I had already put a hand on her shoulder. This time she didn't look away and rather gave me a small smile, whilst another tear ran down her cheek. I was impressed about the smile from her, so I returned it. And it didn't feel odd. It really didn't.
"Gabriella." A low, gentle voice reached our ears and both, Gabriella and I turned our heads to the source of the sound. There, at the top of the stairs stood Troy, waiting for a response from either of us. "Mrs. Darbus is looking for you. She said your mother's here."
Gabriella slowly nodded, her eyes still glued to him, ere she turned to me again, smiled – this time it was a little wider then the last one – and without my knowledge, pulled me into a hug. Her arms wrapped around my upper torso and she leaned in, her head resting near my shoulder. Hello! That I was startled would be an understatement. My eyes actually popped out. I didn't let people hug me like that very often, except for Ryan and my parents, maybe. I held a breath and when I finally let it out I was able to somehow put my own palms on her back and tapped it lightly. That was odd though. But a good kid of odd.
"Thank you – for 'checking on me' " She breathed and released me from her grip. "I appreciate it."
"No problem." I smiled up at her, when she rose from her seat. I watched as she took the steps up to where Troy waited and pressed a light kiss on her cheek. Double ouch.
She went down the hall and as soon as she was out of his view, he turned his attention back to me. I also rose and dusted myself off a bit, taking one step at a time up to where Troy was.
"So, how long have you been standing here?" I tried to ask him casually. He obviously didn't want it casually. He fixed his eyes on me, with his hands in his pockets.
"Long enough." He whispered and I found myself staring at those incredible blue eyes of his. Dammit. I tore my eyes from his before any emotions could take over and laughed lightly.
"I can't believe I let her hug me."
He chuckled and kept a smile on his lips a little longer, but was somehow again able to capture me in his stare. Why is he doing this to me?
"You're a good person, Sharpay Evans." His voice was so soothing; so beautiful to my ears. My eyes remained locked with his, as his hand stretched towards me and tucked a strain of hair behind my ear; so gentle I was almost not able to feel it. I can't remember how I found myself glued to the floor and him suddenly leaning close to me; his lips hovering above mine, his breath tickling my skin. I can't let this happen. As much as I wanted this to happen, I couldn't. I just couldn't.
"Don't." I found myself surprised with what I said and the fact that I stepped back. "Please, don't'" I could feel the tears stinging in my eyes, as I kept them on him. I don't know till today what he felt then. I don't know whether he was relieved I stopped him from kissing me again; not happy, but glad it didn't come so far or disappointed at the fact that I rejected him that moment. I don't know now and I didn't know then. I was only looking at him for a while, before I turned around and left the scene, picking up my speed down the hallway.
Please, don't break my heart again.
Thanks for reading! That's it for this chapter and…see you next time.
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