Chapter Nineteen

After leaving Aunt Alice's room, I decided to find Dad; I really needed to talk to him. Mom had told me before she left the room that he was still being vague about the wedding.

As I walked down the hall to the stairs, Mom came out of their bedroom. "Hey, any idea where Dad is?" she nodded, giving me a weary look. "He's in the bedroom. Nessie, he's not sure what he thinks about—"

"Mom, I have to talk to him about it. Maybe I can get him to see my side of the situation." She walked over to me and hugged me. "Well, good luck, then. You're really going to need it." she laughed slightly as she walked downstairs.

I took a deep breathe and exhaled as I walked over to the door and knocked. "Come in, Nessie" As I opened the door and walked in, I could see him sitting in an armchair facing the window.

"Dad, I—" "Nessie, you forget I know what you're about to say. And I have been thinking about what I could say to you. Your Mom and I were just talking about the wedding and how I think you're still too young." He stood from his chair and looked at me.

"Dad I'm not going to get any older! How can I be too young when I'm always going to be this age?"

"Renesmee, you've only been alive for seven years. You haven't had any chances to experience anything yet!"

"Experience anything? Dad, isn't this wedding and marriage going to be an experience? And don't you remember that I will be going to school with all of you in August? That's an experience! And I have been plenty of places and have experienced a lot of things!"

"There is something out there besides what you've seen with us! Since you are half human, that gives you a greater chance of interacting with other humans. Why not make friends?"

"I will be making friends at school in the fall! I'll have friends! And besides I have friends! Like Seth and Leah and the rest of the pack back in Forks!"

"They are part of a world that everyone else believes to be a myth! A story! You need to have friends that when you're around you don't feel like you have to be like them! A chance to live away from this life you have! Friends besides all of us!"

"But I don't need all that! I have all the friends and family that I could ever ask for!"

See the world, then! You're settling for something before you've even seen the rest of your options!"

"So I'm supposed to just be alone basically, except for the options of a few friends, for ninety years and be miserable? Dad, that's you, not me! I have someone that loves me out there and wants to marry me! Why waste my time going everywhere and "experiencing" everything when it won't make me happy? I love Jacob and he's what makes me happy! Are you seriously going to try and take that away from me?"

The tension seemed to grow inside me with each word.

"Nessie, don't you dare—!"

"Do what? Tell you that I want to be happy? I'm sorry, Dad, but that's exactly what I want: Happiness!"

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, something he does when he's frustrated.

"Dad, I can't take this. I love Jacob, and I am going to marry him!" I said as I walked out, slamming the door behind me.

I ran down the hall to my room, passing Nahuel along the way.

"Nessie, what's wrong? Are you okay?" he said when he noticed the tears streaming down my face.

"Nahuel, not now! Just leave me alone, okay?" I said as I walked into my room.

I shut the door behind me and slid down to the floor.

Why couldn't he understand that this is about what Jacob and I want? What we need! This wasn't something he could change be sending me off to "see the world".

What I had told him was the truth, what he needed to hear. What he needed to know. He really thought that he could hold on to his little "princess" longer. He has to realize that I'm not that same girl anymore. I'm someone who's in love. That definitely changes me. It has changed me. More than I even thought possible!

I knew that I would never find anyone else other than Jacob; so why hold back now?

Doesn't the less time we wait, give us more time to grow together later?

Isn't that what marriage is all about? Being together and growing together?

The more I thought of the things that I had said to my dad, I being to feel guilty. I had not meant for my words to be hurtful, disrespectful, or callous. What I said would definitely strain our already tense relationship. He had done what I had asked of him: give the space Jacob and I needed to start a relationship. We getting married so soon had not been part of the bargain.

Had I lost any chance of having my father giving us his blessing and walking me down the aisle?