My first Bella/Edward centric. I know, very conformist of me. This is the product of watching a PBS show about National Parks -if you can figure out how my brain translated that into this, I just might love you forever.
AH -my new addiction
I don't own Twilight.
When I was little my mother took me to the Grand Canyon -we were late and Renee had forgotten the toiletries, but we had gotten there eventually. I stood as close to the edge as possible and gripped the hot metal rail in my small little fists. I took a deep breath and stared out into the rut that so many people had stared at before. The rock was still wet with rain from earlier in the day, but there wasn't a cloud in the sky.
It was the biggest thing my little eight year old eyes had ever seen.
My little eyes had widened to take it all in. The hugeness. The giant exposed hole that it was.
It made me feel so small and insignificant. So puny and pathetic.
It was so big, and I was just little me. A speck on one of the most famous views in all the world. But as I dealt with my insecurities I took in the sight before me as best I could- after all, I had practically begged Renee to take me; I might as well enjoy the sight while it lasts.
To me -little naive me- it looked broken. Incomplete. Ugly.
But beautiful. Yes, I had never seen anything quite so beautiful.
I marveled it how imperfect and perfect it was.
My little mind couldn't figure out how something so unfinished could be so picturesque.
Would it have been more beautiful whole?
Would it have seemed less right if was complete?
-
Edward Cullen was beautiful.
Any girl in Forks would agree. He was tall with bronze sex hair and chiseled features. He was smooth and charming, with a smile that wet dreams were made of. His body was to die for all lean and lanky, with muscles in all the right places.
Edward Cullen was perfect.
He was top of the class - a shoe in for Prom King- and knew just what to say to have people be putty in his hands. He was brilliant and clever, a quick wit that would put anyone to shame. But, most of all, everyone thought he was going become famous someday, which made him like a painting in a museum -untouchable, and flawless.
Edward Cullen oozed talent out of every orifice on his body.
Everyone thought that someday he would become the famous pianist of our age -compose songs that could rival Beethoven and preformed in great, ornate amphitheaters that were as beautiful as he was. His fingers were magical and as quick as lightning, landing on piano keys like light feathers of music.
Edward Cullen was unattainable.
Sad, but true. No one had dated Edward. Sure, he was dateable -please see list above- but he just didn't date. It was tragic really. Most of the female population spent their time trying to get him. Win him. Woo him. Catch him.
They just didn't know what they were chasing.
Most people didn't know Edward Cullen -the broken boy inside the God like exterior.
They didn't know that his real mother had died when he was three, or that his father had put a pistol to his temple shortly after. They didn't know that Edward had been dragged from foster home to foster home until Esme and Carlisle had adopted him when he was twelve. They didn't know that the most beautiful song he's ever written was about how alone he feels in this world, and how much he wanted to die. They didn't know that he didn't feel wanted. They didn't know he threw things when he was angry or how he looked when he cried.
They didn't know he wasn't perfect.
They didn't know that he drummed his fingers to songs stuck in his head. They didn't know that he didn't want to be a pianist, he just wanted to play the piano. They didn't know that he loved to run in the rain, or that he didn't like gum but preferred mints. They didn't know that he had six smiles or that he had a special place he liked to go when the sun was actually out. They didn't know that his hands were almost always cold or that his eyes were darker when he was tired. They didn't know about the scar on his shoulder from one of foster siblings or that his left foot was bigger than his right. But, most of all they didn't know that he was just… human.
Sometimes I wonder if they would still want him if they knew. Sometimes I wonder what he would do if they knew. Most of the time, I decide that I don't want to know.
To me -shy, antisocial bookworm me- Edward was all those things. Beautiful, perfect, talented, unattainable, and imperfect. Edward was just… Edward.
I am completely and irrevocably in love with Edward Cullen.
I don't wonder if he'd be more perfect if he wasn't broken, because he wouldn't be Edward if he wasn't imperfect, and I wouldn't love him if he wasn't Edward.
To me, Edward was like the Grand Canyon. The idea of him was so big that it made me feel small and unworthy. He was broken and incomplete, but beautiful. Yes, Edward Cullen was beautiful- even if he was so much more than a pretty face.