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"Hey"

...And cue flushed red tint to my cheeks. "Hi"

Just a simple word and I'm flustered by her presence. Before me is the most beautiful girl I've ever laid my eyes on and my bestie. She just laughs and shuffles aside to allow me to enter.

Ashley Davies, Goddess. That should be her birth given last name. She oozes everything I'm not, charm, confidence, sex appeal, attitude, and just and all around bad ass. I know that she has to see me as just some kind of conquest. There's no way a girl like her is remotely interested in being 'friends' with a girl like me. I'm just plain Jane, Spencer Carlin.

And I'm attracted to my best friend.

I can remember the moment it happened. I always felt there was something more between us but dismissed it as the typical girly natural flirting. The fact that Ashley would flirt with a brick wall if it got her what she wanted helped me push those thoughts out of my mind as well. But every time it was directed at me I would blush uncontrollably.

You openly admit
The things you'd like more of from me
Somehow I find it attractive
That you won't censor anything

Tonight is one of the famous Grey nights of the week and I'm almost not looking forward to it with everything I have going on in my head right now. Naturally we have fun. Tonight we get to dance the night away. But on these nights it's just you and me, uninhibited flirting, and the things you say to me and the way you make me feel while we're on the dance floor grinding into each other sends me into a trance. You know the things you do and say have an effect on me even though we part ways soon after and head home later that night like nothing ever happened.

With you there is no filter
To sugarcoat what is said
Even though I like your honesty
It won't lead me to your bed

"Let's Go"

Another Thursday and a long weekend ahead, we're off to Grey's. Something tonight is different. I can't pinpoint it but your vibe is different. You seem too put together and calculated in your actions towards me. The outfit's tighter, shorter, and my favorite color - red, you hate red. Your hair is loose and to one side - the right, the side I'm always on. I mean not that I really noticed or anything, it's just a coincidence. You're even wearing that shea and spice perfume I told you I loved at the mall one day. I didn't know you'd even bought it.

"You smell nice." Did I just say that aloud?!

"Thanks" There's that blush again. Give me away every time.

So Instead, go ahead and say it
Even though you know
It makes me uncomfortable
Go ahead and say it
If you must make me blush

I've 'forgotten' my pj's tonight knowing that you'd be more than willing to let me borrow a pair.

"Why don't you just sleep naked. Maybe there was a reason you forgot to pack them." It's returned. The redness that permanently conquers my face when I'm around Ashley.

Okay, so maybe I did leave my clothes on purpose but I just love being wrapped in her scent. I think its part of the reason I don't sleep for hours laying on bed with her. I feel like the smell consumes my mind telling it not to sleep for some evil reason. The reward is always pleasant though. I spend most of the night in another world, with my face buried inside the shirt collar sniffing, blaming it on the cold from the ceiling fan that is never off. I have no idea what exactly you wear. All I know is it's a mixture of perfume and some oil shipped from overseas. Anytime I ask what it is, hoping you'll just give in a let it out, it's always the same reply, 'Ashley'. Maybe it's not a real scent but I so wouldn't mind wearing some of Ashley.

You are so transparent
The farthest thing from perfect
Once again I am left out of breath
On the edge of losing it

To everyone else you're this big mystery, a ball of confusion, but I can see through you. I know what you're thinking before you do. I know every freckle and curve of your face from watching you sleep. I know that you know when I am staring at you because your breathing changes, but I'd never say a word just to have those last few moments of bliss before you open your eyes. You'd think that this would be the point where I'd turn away and pretend to be doing something other than blatantly staring but I don't move, don't flinch, just stare. I've noticed over time that my favorite part of you is the tiniest scar right below you bottom lip. You told me one day about face planting while trying to escape some girls parents one morning after 'having your way with her'. Just thinking about you that way makes me tingle all over.

So Instead, go ahead and say it
Even though you know it makes me uncomfortable
Go ahead and say it
If you must make me blush

Remember when I said something was different. I can read you remember, and the things I read tell me that you feel the same. That, if only for a moment, you feel the same uncensored attraction towards me. This morning there's something in your eyes I've never seen before, different.

"Can I kiss you?"

No good morning or any of her dry, sarcastic flirting. Just 'Can I kiss you?'

"What?!"

"Can..You? Please." My face isn't hot, there is absolutely nothing there. Where's that blush when you need it?

That moment change my life. I did let her kiss me. Again and again and again. We're actually making out as we speak.

Please take me under with you
But I will only let you go so far
It can be a secret
You know what our boundaries are

Two months ago if you would have asked me who Ashley Davies was I'd tell you my bestie and blush after I continue to gush about how fantastic she is without giving away my crush. Today however, I'd tell you she's the girl I'm secretly falling for but no one knows it. Falling and letting go are two different things and I have yet to let go. I'm hesitant to be with Ashley the way she wants me to be with her. These days after our Grey nights, which are pure tortuous foreplay, we cuddle under the covers and explore on top of our clothes. She knows I'm not ready yet and is being so patient with that.

"You're so beautiful"

I sleep easier now, knowing that she's not going anywhere. I don't feel like I'm losing something before I've really had it and it feels great. I still never fall asleep until I'm sure she is so that I can trace my favorite scar. I find it so sexy and she secretly loves that I love it. Every night I whisper to her, knowing she can't hear me and place a kiss on her lips before shutting my eyes.

Go ahead and say it
Even though you know it makes me uncomfortable
Go ahead and say anything if you must
Please, make me blush

"I love you too Spencer"

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"Blush" by Aly & AJ

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