This is it! The final chapter. Thanks for the ride and for all the lovely reviews along the way. All I can say is remember the writing on the cube....

She stood on the balcony overlooking the gate room. So much had changed and yet in some ways it was just the same: births, marriages, deaths. But this day was the hardest of them all to bear and she wasn't sure if she could get through it. Below her chairs were being arranged in the familiar mock church- aisle style and a raised dais stood at the far end by the gate, ready for the coffin to be placed ceremoniously on it. The pungent perfume of tall white lilies drifted up from the massed vases placed at either side of the aisle and around the platform. She wasn't normally given to tears, but today it was hard and a short sob broke free before she could control it. As though by magic, he was there, a gentle hand on her shoulder from behind comforting her. She raised her own and placed it over his, knowing that he too was suffering but it was typical of him to give others succour and support before his own needs. Since they'd been married, funerals had been far to frequent in the city but she guessed that was one of the inevitable consequences of a growing settlement and the continued threat they were under from whichever 'big bad' decided they needed to be brought down a peg or two. And that made her smile. She was even thinking like John Sheppard now.

In the end, she squeezed her husband's hand and turned away from the preparations. Today would be hard enough and she needed to prepare for it well. And there was another who needed her to be strong. She'd never seen him so broken before, but then, apart from this city, her mother had been his whole life. Pushing her black hair over her ears, she let out an audible sigh.

'I need see Dad. I'm not sure how he will get through today.' She looked up at Torren, her green eyes filled with tears. Mum shouldn't have gone like that. It wasn't right. All the years of fighting and struggling to keep the city, her forays as negotiator and ambassador into dangerous territory, and it was illness that finally took her, and much too young. At just twenty, Mona didn't feel ready to face the years ahead without hearing her mother's soothing voice or feeling the love, and she really did 'feel' it but not in a clichéd kind of way, between her parents. All she could sense now was his pain and she needed to see him, to ease it if she could.

He was where she expected, a lone figure standing forlornly on the edge of the East Pier, no doubt reliving a multitude of many wonderful memories that meant so much to him and Cat. She could see from the hunch of his shoulders how he was suffering. The dress uniform looked stiff and a little large for him as he slouched miserably into the prevailing wind, his mostly grey hair still thick and full and immediately recognisable in its rebellious flicks, though shorter than he'd worn it as a younger man in a rare nod to growing older.

'Dad?' she asked, as she walked towards his back. He didn't turn, just a slight straightening of the shoulders showing that he knew she was there. 'Are you alright?' Stupid question, Mona.

He looked drawn and tired, but more there was a deeply ingrained sorrow in the lines around his eyes and in the furrow of his brow which she doubted would ever be smoothed away. A redness suggested he'd been crying, but the eyes were dry now, ready for the next few hours when he would say his final farewells to Cat. The General's regalia shone brightly as did his medals, signifiers of the years of dedication and heroism at the service of this great city. When he'd retired, a new precedent had been started. He did not return to Earth but had been allowed to stay on in the city he loved and was his home, promoted in recognition of the service he had done, surrounded still by friends and family, both dwindling and growing by now in equal measure.

She noticed a determined breath and he lifted his head and his shoulders, meeting her eye with a deliberate attempt at strength. 'I'm fine, sweetie. Are you okay?'' Mona nodded, tears threatening to well again. She knew he wasn't okay really and she could almost hear her mother's playful chuckle at his familiar phrase. Silently, she took his arm, and the two walked from the pier towards the gate room to say their final farewells.

***

The radio crackled with irritation from the voice at the other end. 'Damn it, Sheppard. Get your arse back here. This is a direct order. You are to return to base immediately. Do you hear me?'

John grimaced at the implied threat. He knew darn well that it could be his career if he ignored it, but there it was. A simple choice. Go back to save his colleagues and know that he had fulfilled the one mantra that meant the most to him, not to leave people behind, or obey the order and possibly never fly again. No brainer really, he thought. He slammed his hand against the radio controls and cut off the voice of his commander and friend.

The helicopter rattled and shuddered with the distant impact of weapons fire from the ground which beneath him appeared to be a blanket of fire. Somewhere they were stranded and he was determined to get them back. Suddenly, out of the smoke, he saw the crashed helicopter. It didn't look good from here, wreckage strewn across the desert floor but there was still a chance that someone had survived. The gun fire seemed to be creeping closer, cracks shattering his airborne silence and then he felt a sickening lurch as one of them found their target. Within seconds, he'd lost control and the craft was spinning nauseously downwards.

Habit and duty made him send his last radio message before he crashed. 'Yankee foxtrot niner to Icarus base. I'm going down. I repeat I'm going down.'

***

She could hear the sound of her mother crying in the next room. The assault this time had been especially violent and the screams still echoed in her ears. A little voice inside her had told her to stop hiding and help, but still she lay here, curled up under the bed, terrified that her father would come for her next. Guilt and fear melted together. A door opened and she saw a big brown lace-up shoe step into the room.

'Catherine? Are you in here?'

She stayed as still as she could, but couldn't prevent little sobs escaping. A big face appeared in front of her.

'You are here. I thought I'd find you skulking. Come out now.'

She didn't want to come out but something in the voice made her do as it told her. As she crept from her hiding place a large hand grabbed her roughly around the arm and pulled her violently, crushing her into his body, breathing powerfully whisky-laced breath into her face.

'Now, Catherine. You didn't hear anything did you?'

She shook her head.

'Good. And you know what happens to bad little girls who tell lies don't you?'

She nodded.

And then he showed her, raining heavy blows until she fell in a bruised heap on her bedroom floor. As he left a distant voice said in her head, 'I'll get you back one day. I promise.'

***

It was a routine mission on a routine day on an ordinary planet in the Pegasus Galaxy. Sometimes, John really felt like he needed to do a bit less of this and he understood what Jack O'Neill meant about the need to retire. On the other hand, the buzz he still felt from going through the Stargate and the pleasure in spending time with the team outweighed any desire he had to leave it all behind and sit behind the proverbial desk. And Cat knew him well. This morning she'd virtually pushed him out of bed and told him to get his lazy ass in gear.

With a smile and a nod to the others, he waved the 'let's move out' signal and as one they moved into their familiar positions, John slightly ahead, Teyla watching their six, McKay fiddling with his recorder with Ronon strolling along next to him, occasionally throwing in little jibes in an attempt to upset the scientist's concentration. John grinned. Sometimes he felt like Captain Kirk, not the Kirk from the 1960's, but the one who really should not be doing this stuff anymore but just couldn't help himself, his team and he aging visibly now but still active. It was a comfortable feeling and not one he wanted to give up, but retirement was indeed hovering on the horizon. Oh well, as long as he didn't have to leave Atlantis and it looked likely now that Stargate Command would accede to that particular request. A partial retirement had been the deal, at least until a replacement leader could be found for Richard Woolsey.

The smile wavered. Woolsey hadn't exactly been a character one warmed to naturally, but the decade and more he'd led them had been stable and secure. In turned out that he had been an excellent choice for the city; a clever man, he was capable of breaking the rules when necessary and of using some wily manipulation if required and his heart attack had genuinely saddened John. The look in the man's eyes as he was stretchered from his home for the last time was one of powerful emotion and he had grasped John's hand with real affection.

And these days, it wasn't just themselves they had to worry about. Teyla hadn't found anyone else after Kanaan had left, but was a devoted mother to her teenage son. Rodney and Katie continued to defy the odds and their two daughters were a credit to them. And Ronon and Amelia, while not going down the traditional route of marriage and children, had settled into a comfortable and mutually supportive relationship. Leaving on a mission was no longer just a case of get yourself ready and go and there was always a nagging fear which each tried to put away of leaving loved ones behind if something were to happen. Mona was a sparkling and vibrant fifteen year old, beautiful and fiery in equal measure and John harboured secret hopes that she would return the looks that Torren frequently threw in her direction. Years ago, he'd wondered if he and Teyla might become a couple until that love developed into the brotherly one he'd felt for a long time and a union of their offspring felt, well just right.

He woke from his reverie to hear the exasperated voice of McKay, whining in the distance. 'Sheppard! Come in Sheppard! Anyone there? Good God! I swear he's getting senile.'

'I hear you McKay. What is it?' John replied, the irritation in his voice enough to shut the scientist up.

'Um, okay! Well, there is a strange energy reading here. I know, I know, strange energy readings we're used to,' he glanced at John's amused face,' but this one is different. There's a familiar pattern that I can't quite grasp and...'

His ramblings were cut short by an almighty blast as the air around them burned with a hot white light. It only lasted seconds, but when it cleared, they were scattered across the landscape, thrown clear of each other by the force. John stirred, groaned and tried to stand, clutching painfully at his right side as he did and thinking, 'not another darn rib' as he did. To his right, Teyla was also moving and he could hear Rodney's complaints beginning to his right.

'Everyone okay?' he asked. Something was missing and then he realised. 'Ronon!' he shouted as he ran over to the prone figure of his friend, his brother and his team mate.

Two blank eyes stared back expressionlessly. With a sob, John's legs crumpled under him and he held the body in his arms, willing it back to life but knowing that it was no use. He was aware of Teyla and McKay approaching and looked up to see his torment reflected in their eyes.

'He's dead. Ronon's dead.'

***

The gate spun remotely, lights flashing as the chevrons locked. Colonel John Sheppard leant on the balcony rail, foot resting on a lower rung, a bored look on his face. A new set of recruits were heading their way from Earth and it was his job to greet them. Mostly, they were scientists or academics, many of whom sneered openly at 'grunts' such as himself and would look at him with disdain as they arrived, but he had made this his job and it was important that they all knew and recognised their military commander from the word go. Who knows when it might just save their arses?

John suppressed a yawn and stood up a little straighter in relaxed military mode, arms behind his back, as the first figures came through. Oh yes, the usual, he thought. They were mostly men, wearing the tell tale blue flashes of the science department and a couple of women. A small, dark haired girl drew his eye. Now she was more like it. Just his type. She looked towards him and he smiled what he thought was his most winning smile, a flash of white teeth, only to be met by a blank stare. Not for the first time recently, he felt as though he was invisible and he wondered if he should stop flirting with the young things on the base. Maybe he really was getting too old for this after all?

He sighed and went to the top of the stairs, ready to introduce himself to the new personnel. The other woman was fiddling with something on the ground, surrounded by boxes, crates, bags and goodness knows what else, her blonde hair reflecting the city's lights. Something about her caught his attention. And then she looked up to meet his eyes and this time she didn't look through him, at least not in a way that said he was invisible. No, the sparkling blue eyes met his firmly and he felt something reach into his heart that he hadn't felt before. His stomach flipped and he knew, just knew that maybe, just maybe this time.....

All the time of the past comes to the worthy

And in our goodness we will receive future time with gratitude

Now in our present time past and future will combine in magnificence

And when past, present and future time combine by the grace of The Ancestors

By the power given to the chosen ones and their inheritors

All will alter and change to erase the sins of our children and children's children

THE END (or is it?)

Well, that's it folks. If you picked up these stories half way down the line this will only make absolute sense if you read the first one again 'Maybe This Time'. It's been quite a journey for me, allowing me to discover and re-discover things about myself too and I hope you've enjoyed it. Thank you to everyone who has supported me throughout. Special thanks to Shelly, my 'agent!' who was my first reviewer and has helped me through moments when I thought I might give up; to all the Sisterhood thunkers (you know who you are ladies!); to all the thunkers and whumpers who have given time to comment and review on the way; to everyone who has done me the honour of making me a favourite in some way shape or form; to regular and one-off reviewers who have been overwhelmingly positive and kept me going; and extra special thanks to my number one fan, dreamsqueeze, whose support and praise has meant more than I can possibly say.:)

It is possible that there might be other Cat/John stories – after all there is some time to fill in – but I think I'll either write some one-shots or go along a different route altogether. See you out there sometime in The Pegasus Galaxy??

Atlantisjoefan x