Chapter 17

So today was my first day seeing a psychologist. I really only went to make everyone happy. Everyone was so uncomfortable around me, and the air was so thick with tension whenever I walked into the room. But Edward claims that this will be a good thing… I have yet to agree. I drove to the hospital were Carlisle worked, and found the room on the second floor. I sat impatiently in the waiting room, fighting the urge to get up and run out of the door. I stood up and got ready to give in to the urge when a tall blond man came through another door on the other side of the room.

"You must be Isabella Swan? My name is James." He said with a warm, friendly smile.

"It's just Bella," I said softly.

"Alright then Bella, just follow me." He turned around and walked back through the door. He seemed nice enough but there was still something about him that I didn't like…

We stopped when we got to his office and he told me to lie down on this couch and relax.

"So tell me Bella, why are you here today?" He asked taking out a pen and notepad.

"I am here because all my friends think that I am crazy and now I am starting to think that too…"

"Why would they think that?" He said, not looking up at me.

"I saw a guy that beat and raped me when no one else saw him…" I said firmly.

James looked up at me and his eyes were gentle as they examined me.

"That experience must have been very trying for you Bella…" He said moving from behind his desk and sitting in front of me.

"Well, I passed out right before he raped me; the doctor said something about my brain protecting me."

"Well, that isn't very common but it's not unheard of. So now you think that your mind is playing tricks on you?" He asked.

I played nervously with my hair for a few seconds before I answered. "I don't think I am seeing things, but when I am the only one seeing things… especially him… it makes me wonder if he damaged me more than just physically." I whispered on the verge of crying.

"Was it your idea to come here?" He said placing a comforting hand on mine.

"No, my, um… guy friend Edward was concerned that I needed to talk to someone outside of the house about what's going on in my head… it's hard for me to talk about this with my friends or him anymore… They just get uncomfortable whenever I bring this up… so I keep a lot to myself."

"This friend of yours… Edward. Why do you feel you can't confide in him anymore?" James asked getting a little closer to me.

"Well, it's not that he won't listen… it's just that he worries about me too much already, and I don't want to be a burden to anyone. For instance, I am sure you are thinking that I am crazy!" I said giving a fake chuckle.

"I would never judge you like that. And no, I don't think you're crazy." He said matter-of-factly.

"What do you think of me?" I sat up and looked him right in the eyes.

"I think that you are a beautiful girl who is so overwhelmed with what has happened to you that your mind is trying desperately to create an outlet… But I believe that you did see him." He said making me think that he was crazy but I could feel the sincerity in his words.

"Hmmm… I wonder how many female patients of yours you tell that too." I said with a small smile.

"Most of my patients are men in their forties or fifties going through midlife crises. And of my women patients they are usually children so you would be the first." He said giving me an affectionate smile.

"I would have to say you're not a good liar." I shot back.

He laughed and sat back in the chair.

"You are a live one aren't you?" He joked.

"That's what they tell me… But aren't you supposed to be interrogating me?"

"I have to get to know you first. It's kinda like a date you know, I need to see why you are the way you are before I can see why you think the way you think."

I thought about his words then he said, " Do me a favor, whenever you see him, no matter the setting, I want you to write down what you were doing and thinking prior to seeing him… and bring it in next week ok?"

Before I could answer my phone vibrated in my pocket.

"I'm sorry, excuse me a second…" I stepped out of the office and into the hallway to answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's Edward… Are you ok?" He said sounding scared.

"Yeah, just here at the hospital… why? What happened?" I asked.

"Bella, Jessica's body has been found… she was murdered this afternoon…" He said sullenly.

I hung up the phone and turned back into James' office.

Suddenly my words were caught in my throat.

"Um, Thank you… for today, I have to go now…I'm sorry" And with that I turned and rushed out of the hospital.