MP: I don't own Smallville or Superman

This will be one of two companion one shots to my two one shots concerning the Mary Sue formerly known as Lana Lang.

Tales from the Phantom Zone

Zod was hiding. Not from phantoms, not from the other more dangerous inmates. If only that were his problem, Zod would be able to plot his revenge upon Kal-el, the spawn of Jor-el, in peace. No his problem came in the form of a pack of… terrible creatures. Creatures that even scared the phantoms.

"Oh Zoddie Poo! Come back!" yelled a voice.

'Oh no, they're onto me!' he thought in panic. He, the most feared being on Earth for a few days, was running from a group of …women; beautiful, voluptuous women with strange powers that worked even in the phantom zone.

For a while he was able to escape them. Non and Ursa having been captured long hence by phantoms, so he couldn't even use them as living shields. He'd found a great hiding place near the hole in the Phantom Zone. Ok, more of a thin spot. He contemplated trying to escape but he knew the moment he did Kal-el would send him right back to the Phantom Zone. Though he'd love to strangle the spawn of Jor-el, he'd been able to observe from the thin place.

He witnessed a series of trials take place in a room he'd long thought destroyed. Each time ended with one more of those…women being sent there, the first time was probably an accident on the cloaked form's fault, but the rest of the time, he wasn't sure but it was as if the person wearing the cloak knew how these creatures affected him. He couldn't be sure but it was almost uncanny. Then the cloak wearer, it might have been a female creature, sent her to the Phantom Zone. That had been the final straw. She had been a pretty little human his host had wanted to procreate with before he'd been re-banished to the Phantom Zone.

At first he thought he'd be able to torment the girl, but soon it was he who was tormented.

"Zod, I love you!" he heard her yell; Her internment in the Phantom Zone and her subsequent exposure to the others had made her the worst of that whole pack. She, unlike the others, had more than the strange powers they had. She had powers similar to that of a Kryptonian under a white sun. He was running but it was too late, the blonde in blue spandex with the Kryptonian symbol for 'Worthless' on her chest in the form of a stylized 'M' with an 'S' through it, had sounded the alarm. She was coming.

"Zod! I thought you loved me!" she wined as she zipped up to him. Zod fell into a plot hole and landed in a large white space with the cloaked form typing away at a laptop floating in midair.

"What's going on here!" he demanded. The cloaked person looked up and he could see eyes in the hood, human Eyes. He then felt his white sun powers return. He zipped up to her only to be intercepted by a white blur. Zod's eyes widened.

"Jor-El!" he snarled. "You're supposed to be dead!" he yelled in anger.

"This place does not exist in the continuum so Jor-El is allowed to be here." said the cloaked form, the proximity and the lack of the filtration through the thin spot confirmed it was in fact a female. The eyes placed her as a human.

'This little human was able to send those creatures to the Phantom Zone?' Zod thought derisively.

"In this realm I hear every thought you think, Zod." said the female human. "And refer to me as MP not 'little human' or 'female human' or anything similar to those two titles."

"Why are you sending those creatures to the Phantom Zone!" demanded Zod.

"Because it ticks you off." said MP, "Initially it was an accident, but after the fifth one, I did it on purpose. Lana, well she was an accident, but not one I really regret."

"Why, human!" yelled Zod.

"You hurt my favorite superhero!" said MP.

"Favorite what?" asked Zod.

"In her universe we are merely fictional characters and Kal-El is what is called a 'superhero.' So she likes the 'comic book character' known as Superman. So Superman is Kal-El and her favorite superhero." said Jor-El.

"Only a foolish tittering girl would ever like something along those lines." Zod sneered, "It probably lacks any real substance." MP crossed her arms and growled. Zod looked to MP and before he could move she had pulled out a small stick thing. What was it, a pencil?

MP scribbled in the air and a stream of human symbols streamed around him and he found himself in the clutches of Lana Lang.

"NOOOO!!!!!!!" he screamed clawing at Lana's arms as she cuddled him. MP was standing behind him and just said,

"Revenge is sweet, Zod, and I happen to have a large sweet tooth."

THE END

R&R: Flames are for virutal bonfires, constructive criticism is welcome.