Does the past really matter?
He said it didn't. All that mattered was the future. I would be granted immortality, and everyone wants that, right?
And that's why I'm training and fighting each day. To earn that. Because the new world he talks about is a privilege, not a gift, and I have to work to get that. He trains me himself. And in those moments when we weren't sparring, he would take me to the laboratory and put some device on my head. He said it's a way to prepare me for the new world, to make me better. I don't really know, because I'm unconscious in those times.
Did I really trust him? Maybe. I don't know. All I know was that he's the only one who holds the key to who I am. Maybe even who I was.
But… Does it really matter?
Even if he tells me it doesn't, there's a part of me that tells me it does. And when I try to remember, I get flashes of images. It always runs the same way: A uniform of some sort. Statues. A large house. Gunfire. Blood. So much blood. Rotting flesh. Monstrous giants. Explosion. And then, a pair of intense blue eyes, foreign and yet strangely familiar to me, and it gives me peace. But inevitably, that's always when the pain strikes. Every nerve in my body feels like it's burning, and I always find myself on my knees at the end of each episode. Pain that originates from that device on my chest.
He says it's the reason why I shouldn't think of the past, because it only gives pain, and we can never go back to how it was. All that's left to do is to move forward.
Maybe it's true, but still…
Can I move on to the future if I don't know my past? That's why, even if it hurts me, I will try to remember, with or without his help.
xxx
The update came sooner than I expected. Yay! If this chapter doesn't make sense to you, don't worry, because the situation doesn't make sense to Jill either.:P
Again, thanks for the reviewers: Prisonerksc2-303, Stardust4, and J.L. Zielesch, you guys are awesome.
Prisonerksc2-303: What do you think?;) I left the Moretti part vague enough, so it's really up to you if you think he did something to Jill.
Stardust4: Ah, my fellow Jilly Hopefully, I can bring justice to the character with this story.
J.L. Zielesch: Wow. Thank you so much. What you said really matters to me. Thanks for the encouragement.:)