1. ENGAGED

I hoped and prayed that everyone was staring at her. They'll see the ring, I grinned to myself. They'll know she's mine forever. Forever. What a perfect way to describe it. Soon she will be mine forever.

I frowned. Unless she fell down stairs, or got hit by lightning. There was only so much that the Guardian—a hardcore car that was equivalent to four thousand pounds of body armor, and equipped with missile-proof glass—could possibly do. I shuddered to think of what might happen with her outside of the car. In a fleeting second I had the temptation to go follow her, just to see if she was all right. Just for a peek, reminiscent of how I used to. But I shrugged it off. I had promised myself to relax more—it would be so soon, and I would have as perfect a life as Carlisle and Esme. Then she would have her new car, her new world. Our love would last so long…

I began to think about Bella, soft Bella, beautiful Bella, and her skin smooth as porcelain, her body comparable to Athena. I imagined running a hand down her cheek, kissing her softly. Simply staring at her in my mind made my mouth water. I choked back the saliva I felt flooding my mouth and tried to concentrate. I would see Bella in five hours anyway—I needed to calm down. There was no need for me to get this excited.

Sitting upright on my bed I felt the beginnings of a panic attack. If I got this excited simply thinking about kissing her, how would I begin to act when…but I couldn't think of this. I wouldn't crush her, I couldn't crush her. This was not an option. This was not what I should do…I could never…I would never…But even in my mind's eye I understood the risks. The temptation. How would I ever be able to stop myself if I got out of control? How could she even enjoy it with me as I am—so cold and hard skinned?

Most days I was confused as to why she had even chosen me. Was I worth this love? Her affection? I got the feeling that she loved being with me—but I couldn't understand it. Me. A monster. Such a brutal beast. Such a pathetic fiend, no longer a lion but swine, no longer strong, but weaker than the lowest of beasts. As weak as Mike Newton. I dared call him a fool, but I knew that…I knew that in his place I would never have given up as well.

Rage ripped through me—not at the Athena-esque vision of my beautiful Bella—but at me. I was useless. I could not do anything right by Bella. I had been trying to convince myself that I was doing Bella a favor by changing her into a…vampire. I shuddered at the word. Vampire. My beautiful Bella, hunting as though an animal. To be honest, the thought was as intriguing as it was revolting.

My fingers itched on the buttons of my phone, wondering if I should call her, just to check if she was still breathing. But no, I couldn't, I should be calm. What if she thought I was obsessive? A stalker? Checking up on her? Being nosy? And besides, she was my soul mate: wouldn't I feel it if she died? Or was hurt? I winced as I thought about her actions when I left her for those long months ago, what seemed now akin to an eternity but was really so recent. Apparently I didn't. I fingered the buttons again, and then turned my head.

"Alice?" I called out in a normal voice to the silent house.

"She's fine, Edward," she called back, and in her mind I saw Bella, flushed, clambering back into the Guardian where she was safe. I sighed.

"Thanks."

"Anytime," Alice replied. I settled back into my chair and relaxed. For now, at least, she was alive. For now she was safe. I smiled and then felt a sudden urge to walk outside. I stood and leaped from my window gracefully as though an extremely tall, beautiful, pale, cold swan and started gently jogging at a speed too fast for a human's eyes. While the trees flew past me one after another, I started to allow my mind to wonder free. I had five hours until I snuck into Bella's room—seven until my bachelor party. I had nothing but time.

A poster flying free in the wind caught my eye and I raced to it and snatched it out of the air, curious, then threw it down, disgusted. It was another Jacob one. Jacob, the filthy dog, the disgusting half-breed, the despicable child who wished to put his hands on Bella—my Bella—and who she couldn't get enough of. And because he made her happy, I allowed them to still hang out together, and then he—the lowlife—left her as though he hadn't seen what that did to her when I did that to her—though of course, he is not nearly as important and did not have the same complete effect.

Bella's father, Charlie, was the only one who hadn't accepted Jacob's disappearance as a fact. He believed that Jacob's father and everyone else were under-reacting to the vastness of the situation. The rest of us simply knew that he was running wild as a mongrel dog somewhere, most likely sniffing up innocent girl's skirts, not that I cared. At least it meant that he was leaving Bella alone. That was my only relief at his vanishing act. That I finally had Bella to myself. The rest of me, of course, was wrought with the agony of Bella's pain of feeling as though it was her fault that he deserted her. I swore to myself that I'd give him a good kick and take away his kibble for the awful way he was making Bella feel.

Constantly she was calling Seth Clearwater—the only decent werewolf I had met so far—hoping for an update on his whereabouts. Hoping that he'd be coming home. Well he wasn't, but Seth was coming to the wedding. I hoped that he would be enough of werewolf to satisfy Bella, because he was enough of a werewolf for me. However, I knew that there was only one that she would ever be enough for her.

I continued on, walking this time, smiling to myself at the thought of the wedding, remembering when we had told Charlie about it…

My confidence surprised even me, as Charlie's cruiser pulled into the driveway, and I felt Bella's fingers twitch as though she were contemplating hiding her left hand, but I kept a steady hold on it to keep it out.

"Stop fidgeting, Bella. Please try to remember that you're not confessing to a murder here," I tried to reason with her.

"Easy for you to say."

I waited patiently as her father stomped up the driveway and on to the porch, and opened the door. Bella's heart was going haywire, as though she was about to be killed.

"Calm down, Bella," I whispered. The door slammed and Bella flinched as though a pimp had just slapped her.

"Hey, Charlie!" I called out, hoping to prove to her how relaxed the situation really was.

"No!" she had hissed.

"What?"

"Wait till he hangs his gun up!"

I laughed and ran a hand through my hair as Charlie turned the corner, gun still in tow, and watched as he attempted to hide a grimace when he spotted us sitting so close. I didn't bother reading his mind, but I knew he was trying to be kinder about the whole situation.

"Hey, kids. What's up?" he asked.

"We'd like to talk to you," I replied. "We have some good news." Charlie's face dropped the fake pleasure and headed straight into darkness in a comical second.

"Good news?" Charlie growled, looking straight at Bella. I knew in an instant what his mind had jumped to, but couldn't respond to it until he said it out loud.

"Don't get worked up, Dad. Everything's okay," Bella said after a second of awkward silence. I winced. She still wasn't very excited at marrying me, was she? I almost felt as though I were trapping her into marriage. But if that's what it took…

"Sure it is, Bella," Charlie was saying. "If everything is so great, then why are you sweating bullets?"

"I'm not sweating," Bella retorted defensively, but it was quite obvious she was. That was the last straw for Charlie, and apparently he couldn't hold it in any longer.

"You're pregnant! You're pregnant, aren't you?" Charlie turned his angry eyes to me, and I, for a split second, was uncomfortable. You wish, I thought to myself. You would only wish that I could make your daughter pregnant, but what I'm going to do is so much worse.

"No! Of course I'm not!" Bella fidgeted to restrain from nudging me. She had told me that people had been going to jump to that conclusion. That there were no sane reasons people got married at eighteen. I had laughed at her. Love was the reason they got married.

Charlie seemed to calm down. "Oh. Sorry."

"Apology accepted."

The silence became awkward again. We were all looking at Bella, and finally it occurred to her that we were waiting for her to give the news. She looked at me, scared, so I smiled reassuringly. She wasn't going to do it, so I turned to Charlie myself.

"Charlie, I realize that I've gone about this out of order. Traditionally, I should have asked you first. I mean no disrespect, but since Bella has already said yes and I don't want to diminish her choice in the matter, instead of asking you for her hand, I'm asking you for your blessing," I began, and I smiled even more. I was on a roll. "We're getting married, Charlie. I love her more than anything in the world, more than my own life and— by some miracle—she loves me that way, too. Will you give us your blessing?"

By the last sentence, Charlie was no longer looking at me. He was gaping at the ring on Bella's finger. I was overjoyed looking at it myself. It was rather breathtaking. I sensed his anger, as he began changing colors at a rapid pace. Bella twitched as though she might have been considering some form of resuscitation, but I listened to his mind for a split second and realized that he was calming down.

"Give him a minute," I whispered. Gradually Charlie returned to normal and began to stare at us.

"Guess I'm not that surprised," Charlie grumbled. "Knew I'd have to deal with something like this soon enough." Bella let out a long breath.

"You sure about this?" Charlie demanded, staring hard at Bella. I almost tensed; afraid she might admit to him her fears, that somehow she knew how morbidly unfair this whole thing was—me gaining a beauty, her gaining a beast. I was no better than if she married a Velociraptor, and I'm sure that on some level Charlie could sense that. But she didn't pause for a second.

"I'm one hundred percent sure about Edward."

"Getting married, though? What's the rush?" he eyed me suspiciously.

The rush, sir, is because Bella is hormonal and horny and so am I, to be honest, and I don't screw girls before marriage, and I really don't want to kill her due to not really knowing my own strength, I wanted to say. I'm sure you understand…I have to turn her into a blood drinker first so that I don't break her Athena-esque body into two pretty pieces and go into a state of bloodlust and dine on the delicate bits left over.

"We're going away to Dartmouth together in the fall, Charlie," I reminded him. "I'd like to do that, well, the right way. It's how I was raised." I shrugged. It was as much of a confession as he would be getting. Charlie looked trapped. There was no way he could argue with me, and we all knew it.

"Knew this was coming," he muttered to himself, frowning. But I heard the thought as soon as he did.

"Dad?" Bella asked anxiously, and she looked at me, but I was still curious as to how he would react.

"Har!" Charlie exploded. Bella leaped up. "Hardy, har, har!"

She looked at me, but I was amused as well and trying very hard to not show that I already understood the joke.

"Okay, fine, get married," he laughed hysterically. "But…"

"But what?" Bella cried.

"But you have to tell your mom! I'm not saying one word to Renee. That's all yours." And as he fell into another fit of laughter, I still felt the amusement, but felt faintly serious about it. Renee was the one person who would be able to embarrass Bella out of marrying me, or at least scare her into a tiny wedding which would disappoint Alice greatly.

However, it was as though Renee was in on my plans of evil, of awfulness, of…eternity. She was perfectly okay with the idea, and of course got along wonderfully with Esme—but who doesn't?

Overall, I was excited about the wedding. And I sensed that despite all of her "aversion to attention", Bella rather enjoyed the idea as well. I also knew, though, that it was after the wedding that Bella was looking forward to. And I looked forward to it as well. I simply dreaded it more. The more I thought of it, the worse the thoughts became. Bella decapitated. Bella mangled and bloody on the floor. Bella looking as though an inexperienced nurse had just given her a rough bout of plastic surgery. But all of them with Bella, dead.

In those awful visions, I was with Bella in a hell hole.