-Two months earlier-

Matt cradled Phil in his arms as the doctor revealed that Phil had Leukemia. Matt couldn't help but not listen to what the doctor was saying while his lover sat on top of the hospital bed, sobbing down into his chest. This was the worst news that they'd ever heard. On the outside, Matt was strong. On the outside he looked sad, but he didn't cry; he wanted to be strong for his Phil. But on the inside, he was crying harder than Phil was literally. The thought of his love being so sick,... the thought of possibly losing him. He didn't know how he was going to manage.

The doctor left the two to themselves as Matt tried to comfort Phil.

"Matty..." Phil sobbed, "this, this... isn't fair!"

"I know baby. I know. But we'll get through this together," Matt cooed stroking Phil's cheek.

"What did I do, Matty? Was I bad? Is God punishing me? Please, tell me what I did!"

"You didn't do anything, baby. You did nothing to deserve this. ... God isn't punishing you."

"Then why is this happening? People always say that things happen for a reason... so what's the reason for this?!"

"I don't know baby. I don't. I wish I had the answer but I don't," was Matt's answered as he held Phil tightly.

"This isn't fair, Matty. I don't want this to happen to me. Please, Matty,... make it go away," Phil pleaded.

"I wish I could, babe. Lord knows I wish that I could," Matt responded as he slowly rocked Phil.

**********

After Matt tucked a sound asleep Phil into their bed, he went out onto the balcony. As he looked out to the moon glaring off the ocean he began to cry. He didn't want to cry in front of Phil because he didn't want his baby to feel any worse than he already did. Plus, he knew that if Phil saw him crying that he'd think it was his fault & that he'd hurt Matt. Matt didn't want him to feel like that. As he looked up to the sky, he put his hands together & silently said a prayer:

'Dear Lord,

I don't really know, or understand what's happening here. & I don't want to question your work, but I can't help but feel some type of way about what's going on. Phil's such a good boy, Lord, he don't deserve this. If there's anybody that doesn't deserve this, it's him. ... Lord I ask you for your guidance. I need your help to get through this. I need you to help me be strong for Phil; I must be strong for him. I love him so much, Lord. Please don't take him from me. Please...'

"Matty, are you crying?"

Matt whipped around to a teary-eyed Phil standing at the balcony door. He smiled as he wiped his eyes, motioning for Phil to come to him. He wiped away the tears that threatened to fall down Phil's angelic face. Matt marveled at how beautiful Phil was in the moonlight. He gently kissed the tip of his nose, then his cheeks, then his forehead. He sighed as he pulled Phil into him, embracing him tightly. He lightly caressed Phil's back, as Phil rested his head on Matt's shoulder.

"Wanna go lay down on the lounge chair, baby?" Matt asked.

Phil only nodded his head. Matt lifted him up & walked them over to the lounge in the corner of the balcony. As they got comfortable on the chair, Phil curled up next to Matt. Matt smiled a little, caressing behind Phil's ear.

"I love you, Phil."

"I love you, too Matty."

"Everything's going to be alright, OK?"

"How do you know?"

"Because, I'm going to be right here by your side the whole time. We'll get through this together."

"... Matty, I'm scared."

"I know you are baby. I'm scared, too. But we have to be strong, OK?"

"Yea. I'll try for you. OK?"

"OK."

**********

-Present-

"Matt, let's go to Coldstone. I have a fiendin' for some pumpkin ice cream!" Phil shouted from by the door.

"Hold on a sec, I can't find my ponytail holder."

"It's in the drawer to the far left in the bathroom!"

"Oh," Matt whispered as he grabbed the black band & tied his hair back.

He hurried downstairs to the door where Phil was standing with his arms folded, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Patience is a virtue, my dear," he chuckled as Phil almost ran out the door.

"Not when there's ice cream involved, my dear," he teased.

Matt just chuckled as he locked the door behind them. The car ride to the ice cream shop was fun; the two of them singing along to Minor Threat's 'Out Of Step' cd. Phil knew all of the words to these songs, while Matt did his best to pretend that he did. When they finally made it to Coldstone's parking lot, Phil damn near jumped out of the car.

"Phil! At least wait until the car stops moving, geez!"

Phil pouted & waited until Matt parked the car. Once inside, they ordered their desserts & sat at a table near the entrance. They sat quietly, eating their ice cream & watching the passersby.

"Matt, do you think that I'm going to Heaven when I die?" Phil asked.

"Phil..."

"Be for real with me Matty. We both know that this disease is going to kill me. I'm getting sicker everyday. & of course I'm not taking any medicines, so I realize I won't live through this. Answer me, please?"

Matt stared into Phil's eyes for the longest time before he sighed & answered.

"I don't think you're going to Heaven, Phil. I know you are. You're a good person, & you've always done everything right."

"But what about me being gay, Matt? People say that God doesn't allow gay people into Heaven."

"I don't believe that, Phil."

"Then what do you believe?"

"I believe that God loves you. He loves you no matter the fact that you are gay. & I don't believe he would turn away your good heart & spirit just because you love a man rather than a woman. I believe he has a nice little cozy spot waiting just for you, ... and for me whenever I get there with you."

Phil said nothing. He just smiled & went back to eating his ice cream. Matt watched him carefully as he looked up from his bowl & looked up to the sky, then looked back at Matt.

"Thanks, Matty."