Phil stared over at Matt who was sleeping in the chair next to his hospital bed. He smiled weakly & looked back up to the ceiling. His breathing was slow, & he felt very weak. He was so hungry, but he barely even had the strength to lift a fork so he could eat. He looked over to the tv, an old episode of Tom & Jerry was on. He couldn't help but laugh a bit at the antics of the two. They hated each other so much, yet they cared about each other at the same time. Phil always found that interesting.
He looked from the tv when he felt familiar fingers stroking his cheek. He looked over to see Matt smiling up at him with tired eyes.
"Did you eat, honey?"
"No."
"Not hungry?"
"Very; but I couldn't even find the strength to lift the fork," Phil chuckled.
"Aww, baby, you should have called to me."
"Eh, I didn't wanna wake you. You looked so peaceful."
"Well, I'm always going to look peaceful when I'm around you," Matt smiled. "Now let's get some food in your system."
Matt hit the button connected to Phil's bed to elevate him a bit. He began to carefully feed him, as he knew Phil didn't have the strength to eat liked he used to. Much to his surprise, Phil actually ate the entire amount of food that was on his plate. This made Matt extremely happy seeing as Phil had not been eating as much since he entered the hospital a couple weeks ago.
"Matt, come lay next to me, please."
Sitting the plate on the table, Matt slowly climbed on to the bed beside Phil. He pulled the younger man closer to him, embracing him securely. He placed tiny kisses all over Phil's face, as the ravenette giggled at the tickling sensation.
"Matt, I'm so glad that you're here with me. I don't know if I would have been able to go through this without you," Phil confessed.
"You know I would never leave your side. I'll always be there for you Phil. Even after... I'll still be here for you."
"Thank you so much, Matty. You're the best boyfriend I could have ever had. I don't think I could have made a better choice."
"The feeling is definitely mutual, baby. I love you so much."
"I love you, too."
They laid there in each others embrace quietly. The only sound being that of each others breathing. Phil lifted his head, capturing Matt's lips with his own. Matt was taken a little bit by surprise, but kissed his lover back with loving intensity. When the kiss was broken, they gazed into each others eyes for what seemed like eternity.
"I love you, Matty," Phil whispered.
"& I love you, Phil."
Phil just smiled as his eyes closed & the machine flat lined. He was gone. Matt began to cry as he held Phil's body close, not wanting to let his baby go. He didn't even notice when his brother, Jeff, had entered the room. Jeff's eyes teared as he watched his brother holding Phil. He knew that this was hard on Matt, more so than he himself could recognize. Jeff walked over to the bed & placed his hand on Matt's back just as the doctor & two nurses walked in.
"Come on Matt, ... you have to let him go now," Jeff whispered.
"I know, but I-I can't. I just can't."
"Matt, ... man, I know this is hard. I know it is, but you have to let the doctor & nurses tend to him now. They'll take good care of him."
Wiping his eyes, Matt slowly let go of his Phil. Jeff helped him from the bed as he helped Matt to put on his jacket. The nurses slowly brushed past Matt so they could tend to Phil's body. The doctor walked up to Matt & placed his hand on the young man's shoulder.
"I'm sorry for your loss, son. If it's any comfort to you, he's better off now. He's no longer in pain & he can be at peace."
Matt smiled weakly & nodded. Jeff led Matt out to the waiting room where both his & Phil's families were waiting. They already knew that Phil was gone as they were all crying silently. Matt could barely look at his own dad let alone Phil's parents. Phil's mother got up & slowly walked over to Matt.
"Thank you so much for taking care of my baby," she whispered as she hugged him close. "You made him so happy. I'm so grateful for that."
Matt just hugged her back as he began to sob into her shoulder. When they pulled apart, she kissed his cheeks & smiled at him. It was about another twenty minutes before everyone said their blessings & goodbyes & parted ways. Matt got in on the passenger side of Jeff's car as they drove back to Jeff's. Jeff didn't want Matt to be alone in that house knowing that everything about it would remind him of Phil.
When they finally got to Jeff's, Matt went straight upstairs to the guest room. He turned on the small clock radio as he laid there staring up at the ceiling. As a familiar song came on the radio, Matt let the warm tears slide to his ears as it played.
Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
'cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark