The Prince
Chapter 10
Vulcan
Amanda looked in on her husband. It had been two days since he'd returned from meeting with T'Pau, and he'd been locked in deep meditation ever since. She was concerned, but she knew what was bothering him. Her husband was just too proud and stubborn to admit that he was afraid.
Sarek was in his chambers, meditating. He had found himself in this place since the news of Spock's imminent arrival had come to him from T' Pau. That had been two days ago.
He had not seen his son in nine years. And although he would never say it aloud, he had missed his child.
It had taken three years for his marriage to heal from the damage he'd done. And it had taken a year of that for him to even come back to Shi'Khar. When he'd left, he went to Gol.
He needed to go. He knew he could no longer fight himself. He had been tempestuous as a child; his only saving grace was his mother and his family name. There was a reason his family had chosen the lematyah as its symbol. They were so much like, the line of S'chn T'Ggi and the creature. They would, and could kill with ease to protect themselves and their family. No, the line of Surak was a vicious one, and Sarek had never adapted well to full controls.
He had merely disguised it.
Even still, he'd been so shocked at his own actions to his son. And he couldn't bear to face his wife. So, like an injured Lematyah preparing to die, he went to Gol with every intention of doing just that.
He had to go by foot. There was no other way to reach the sacred city. During his journey he had felt Vulcan's full punishment. He had arrived, naked and broken. He had fended off attacking lematyah, who tore at his flesh viciously; he had fended off the burning of three suns, starvation, dehydration, and his own utter despair. He had had nothing to accompany him, save for himself. For, when one is left alone, there is nothing to stand between one's soul and one's self. And Sarek had been waging internal war for years.
It was Amanda who had first calmed him. Her human emotions allowed Sarek to project onto her. She could express what he could not, and for that he'd been grateful. It gave him an outlet. And it had worked. He hadn't told his wife yet when it happened. He was in the throes of his Pon Farr, and seeing his son reject all Sarek had worked for had set him into Pon Vrie-The blood fury.
According to the Priestess at Gol, He had allowed an ancient to enter his Katra, and the spirit of the warrior had taken him over. Spock was not his son; he was, in Sarek's eyes, a challenger. His lack of control and the Pon Farr had allowed the lapse. He remembered her words, "I grieve with thee".
Yes, Sarek had been healed. He had learned control during his time at Gol. While most sought to achieve Kolinhar, perfect logic through the purging of emotion, Sarek had wished only peace within himself. He had found it. Finally.
Upon his return, he had found peace within his house another matter. Amanda refused him. She refused to see him. To look at him. To be near him.
He knew of her conversations with their son, and although Sarek never entered, he would listen in the shadows, his wife unaware of his presence.
He had learned of Spock's achievements through the Vulcan embassy on Earth. He had read of his near-deaths on the ship Excelsior. When he'd made first officer, Sarek inwardly beamed. Outwardly, he expressed nothing.
He had thrown himself into his diplomatic work, both to avoid his wife and to steady his mind. He had another reason. Sarek believed through diplomacy he could avoid crisis, and keep his son safe among the stars.
He would never express it, but it had been a long nine years. A brief time in a Vulcan's long life, but an eternity of his.
Sarek did not understand the human phrase, "have a heart". He just like every other Vulcan had one. It was essential to life.
But he hadn't known its true meaning until the birth of his son. Seeing the tiny miracle curled in his arms, one pointed ear still furled, and Sarek had felt at that moment his heart was now on the outside, and resided in the tiny body of his new son.
He had vowed to protect his heart, and he had failed.
II
Spock could not deny his internal sense of dread. Normally he would have ignored it, pushed it away as irrational, but he knew it was not. It was very real. No one had ever learned the reason why he'd left Vulcan. Only Pike had a semblance of who he truly was. And his Nyota was blissfully unaware. No, this would not be a pleasant trip.
He had worn his Starfleet Commander Uniform in what he knew was a fruitless attempt to outwardly dissuade any attempts at recognizing his birthright. Which I never asked for, he thought darkly. But that was the least of his concerns. No, he simply wanted to avoid confrontation with Sarek.
He could see the jagged reds of the Vulcan mountains looming before them, harsh, yet serenely beautiful. Vulcan was a brash and wild planet, with a vicious beauty that was both dangerous and captivating. Yet it existed in bursts of calm violence. It was such a juxtaposition that had formed the Vulcan people. A mix of savage and tame. He found himself staring at the landscape. He could feel Vulcan's heat inside him. And for a moment, allowed himself to feel another emotion. Nervous excitement. He had missed his planet.
Nyota was watching him. No one could read Spock, but she could. And as they approached Shi'Khar she saw waves of emotions fly across his eyes. Dread, anxiety, and excitement? She didn't quite understand why the first two. She knew that Spock and his father were estranged, but they were Vulcan. Surely it was not that. And she knew he missed his mother. Maybe it was just the thought of not being home in a long time.
Captain Pike was completely unprepared for the party of Vulcans that greeted their transport. It looked like an Earth-style royal guard.
Twelve armored Vulcans, yielding what looked like executioner axes lined each side of the transport walkway. Two priestesses wearing almost sheer, sleeveless, floor-length gowns held what looked like an abacus of bells.
All this for a simple diplomatic party? Pike thought not. He glanced at his first officer and friend. Spock had seen it too, and Pike swore he saw his friend's shoulders slump.
Maybe it was more to this kid that he'd thought…
Nyota looked out the window at the greeting party and her eyebrows immediately shot up. She had learned much of Vulcan culture, and knew that the planet was ruled by twelve central castes- with one main ruling one. The matriarch was T'Pau, the only founding federation member to refuse a seat in chambers.
But, what was her royal guard doing greeting them? Maybe they were mistaken for someone else. But no, that didn't seem right. Vulcans were very logical. Mistakes did not happen. But why…
She looked at Spock, his entire demeanor had changed and a dark visage was now across his face. He looked, as if a Vulcan can even look, utterly defeated. She suddenly had a dawning that her lover had not told her everything…
Spock gathered himself. He had no choice. He felt both his captain and his lover's eyes on him as the door opened. He stood. He was no longer Spock. He was S'Haile S'Chn T'Ggi, Son of Sarek, Son of Skon. His life on Earth mattered not now. He knew he would have to explain to Nyota. And to Pike. But now was not the time.
He stepped out the transport towards the waiting party. A Vulcan in dark robes approached him. He removed the hood revealing Stossel. His father's aide. Stossel raised his hand in the greeting, and then lowered himself in a bow. "S'haile, Vulcan awaits your return". Spock merely nodded and began to walk towards the waiting flitters.
Pike and Nyota emerged, and as she heard the words the man had uttered she paused… "What are they saying Uhura?" Pike asked.
She whispered back, "The man just referred to Spock as a 'lord', she said softly." Pike paused, watching the party fold in around Spock. "Well, I have a feeling this is more than a diplomatic trip." He said.
They were interrupted by another Vulcan who greeted them. Nyota looked up in the direction the royal party had gone, but they were now far away.
The man spoke. "Captain Pike and Nyota Uhura of Starfleet. Please, come this way." They disembarked. And quietly followed, each trying to figure out what they were doing on Vulcan.
III
Amanda was excited. Her son would be arriving home any minute now, and she wanted to see him. To hold him. He may be now fully grown, but he was still her baby. She was still disappointed with Sarek for refusing to greet Spock, but she could understand why. After the way he had left…she shuddered. She had worked through her anger, and her sorrow, but it still hurt to think about that.
No, she would not. Instead she'd focus on her baby being home. She knew the diplomatic stuff would get started soon enough, but there was nothing like direct face-to-face interaction to know how one's offspring was faring.
Her boy. She had to smile ruefully. He had gone through so much, just because he was different. Vulcans claimed to believe in IDIC- Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations. That was, allegedly, their overarching principle, but she'd seen through that early on. For all their claims of inclusion, Vulcan was extremely xenophobic, and very much prejudiced. Both she and Spock had battled together at first, then, it had gotten easier. It was T'Pau's acknowledgement of her as daughter and Spock as heir that had brought the rest of Vulcan around. And it had truly been a welcome thing. And Amanda herself had learned to adopt. Creating her own "Vulcan mask" when in Public. But it was her son that brought out her very human side. With scraped knees and very human mischief. But as the years had gone by, she had seen that side of Spock less and less. And by the time he stood before the Vulcan Science Academy she knew,
She knew Sarek was right in trying to teach Spock to be Vulcan, but she couldn't help but feel he was losing his humanity. Sarek treated her sons emotional outbursts as personal affronts, and her baby had learned quickly to stifle them. She couldn't help feel that she was watching her son die a slow death.
Seeing him come close to actual death had been another matter, and all her years of resentment towards her beloved husband, and her own lack of interjection in the decisions he made for Spock's development and education came out full force. She had absolutely hated Sarek, and made no attempts to disguise it. She sent the hate through their mental bond, and although they lived in the same house, no same fortress really, she rarely saw him for three years afterwards. But over time, after learning of his trip to Gol, she began to see what had happened.
He had only been trying to protect Spock the best way he knew how. And that was the Vulcan way. And it had taken T'Pau, interjecting again, to turn Amanda around. It was year three of her excommunication from Sarek, when the matriarch had invited her to the citadel. Rarely did T'pau make a formal request of her, so to oblige her mother-in-law, she went.
"My daughter. I understand your animosity towards my son. But please remember your vows. It is a difficult path, the way of Vulcan, made even more so by our very natures. Sarek's actions were not his own, and the child still exists. He is an extension of the father, as the father is the creator of the son. They cannot exist without one another, and you complete the whole. Thy husband needs thee. You need him. And Spock needs the both of you. It is hard, forgiveness, but what exists between you three, is love. Rooted in pain, joy, sorrow, there is love. Find your way back onto the path"
It had shocked Amanda that T'Pau had been so blunt, and especially when she'd talked of love. Love was an emotion after all. And she knew in her heart, her mother-in-law was right. And it was the fact that she loved Sarek which had made her so angry. How could she love a man who had committed such an act? But love she did, and love she would. For the three of them. She had seen then, that she was the tie that bound two wayward Vulcan males together. She had to maintain for the three of them. For the future of all of Vulcan.
And so she did. Loving both and hoping to heal her family.
So here she stood, at the fortress gates, waiting on her baby. Her chief guard Stamin had said he'd call when the party arrived, but she wanted to be the first to greet her son. She didn't care about proper protocol. To Amanda Grayson, her son had no titles, no need for the ritual and reverence. He was simply her baby. Her Spock. And she loved him unconditionally.