Pairing: Brooke/Lucas with minor NH

Summary: Learning sometimes means soul searching. There are no words to calm that kind of hurting. BL

Disclaimer: Mark owns it all.

-----

Chapter 10: Shrink the world

"Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough."

Dinah Shore

----BL----

With more determination than he ever had he packed his bags and drove off to the airport. Shortly after he gave his ticket for New York to the flight attendant, and less than two hours after he made a decision he was flying miles up in the air, Tree Hill becoming smaller and smaller in the airplane window. Soon enough the image occupying the window was replaced by the high New York sky scrapers and before he knew it he was walking out of a La Guardia airport calling out for one of a numerous yellow cabs lined up by the sidewalk.

It was then that his determination started to fade, to falter slowly and he was beginning to think that maybe this was all a mistake. When Haley told him to go it all made perfect sense, but now here he was, in New York City on his way to see Brooke, unannounced, without any explanation to give. Not that he needed one if he was visiting a friend whose mom was in a hospital. But still. It all sounded a little shaky to him.

And as he approached the grayish looking building known as the Presbyterian Hospital it started to sound like the worst plan he ever had. The ride with the elevator to the right floor proved to be a real torture. He run his hand through his sandy blonde hair, taking a breath as he watched the numbers in front of him go up, approaching his floor all too fast. There was just one more couple there with him but to him it felt too crowded, his hands quickly turning sticky with sweat as he put them in his jean pockets trying not to look like a nervous teenager that was going on his first date.

Just like that, with a small click, the elevator doors opened and he was there. The pair left the small space of the elevator leaving him alone and he stepped out too, slowly, on shaky feel as if he wasn't sure he was standing on a solid ground. The floor was pretty vacant with the exception of a few nurses running around. He could easily turn around and flee but he remained at his spot, the desire to see her, to talk to her and tell her the truth stronger than the fear coiling at the pit of his stomach.

There was no turning back now.

He asked the dark haired girl that was working at the reception, with big glasses that framed her delicate face where the waiting room was and she directed him to go straight forward and then turn left at the end of the hallway.

About fifty steps later (he counted them unconsciously, finding something else to think about rather than her) he saw her, standing on her toes, hugging a tall, dark haired guy.

He was going to kill Haley.

----BL----

During all those months they were together she never thought of Blake as her equal. Really he was more like a temporary remedy for her loneliness, a way of getting Victoria to stop breathing down her neck, asking the same old annoying question.

But today she began to respect him more than she ever did before, she began to think that despite his shortcomings he was a good person who didn't deserve to be treated this way.

So as they stood in the waiting room, still processing all the big medical words Victoria's doctor just shared with them, she was determined to tell him it was over. There was no point in trying to maintain the appearances now that the one person that cared about this relationship was in a coma. Medically induced one, but still.

But before she got a chance to say anything he said it all for her. They were standing a few feet apart, washed away in the light that was coming through the big glass windows, looking at each other with silent understanding.

"Brooke…"

"I know. I'm sorry." she said, apologizing. Maybe he didn't deserve it but she owed them that much. And in a way she was sorry that it didn't work out because wasn't such a bad guy after all but sadly, her heart was already occupied no matter how much she wished it wasn't.

He looked at her with those dark eyes, with seriousness she didn't know he possessed "I'm sorry too. About Victoria and about us..."

She nodded in understanding, knowing there was no point in delaying a conversation that was long overdue anyway.

"I know you think you loved me but really… you loved the idea of us. You know, the hot, successful young couple… You get carried away." she confessed with a small laugh "But that's not what relationships are based on."

"Maybe."

"And be honest, you never thought we'd get this far even…" she said with a sad smile.

"You're right." he agreed thinking of everything they've been through. It was obvious they weren't the typical romantic couple or at least the couple that loved each other and in the end, they never planned on being that. There were a lot of reasons that kept them together but love wasn't one of them.

"So this is sort of a success for us." she said with a small smile looking at him.

"If you put it that way..." he said with a laugh.

She took of the small ring, examining it for a moment before handing it to him "Here, you should take it. And all joking aside, I really do hope you'll find someone worthy of wearing it."

"Yeah…" he sighed "I see you already found that someone." he commented.

"What are you…"

"That blonde guy…"

"We're not like that anymore." she said simply.

"I wouldn't say that."

"Since when did you get so insightful anyway?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's just one of my many qualities." he joked.

"Didn't know you had any."

"Ouch, that hurt."

"Sorry, force of habit. But thank you for being with me through this. It means a lot." she said, meaning every word of it. They've been waiting for hours for the doctors to come talk to them and if it weren't for him she'd be forced to spend those hours staring at the wall or something equally nerve-racking.

"You're welcome." he said kissing her on the cheek. "She's gonna be alright, I'm sure. This is Victoria Davis we're talking about after all."

She smiled, teary eyed "Yeah. Come here." she said pulling him into a hug.

----BL----

Lucas just stood there in the hallway, watching.

If he was stuck in this same scene five years ago he'd turn around and flee, he was sure of it. Because then he had enough strength to turn around and go, take another road, try to move on with someone else (it wasn't like you only loved once, right?). But now he knows he can't lose her, not again for a simple reason really, because there is no one else for him.

There's only one road and he's walking down it, with her in sight.

That was one of the advantages of all the love catastrophes he was in, all the wrong turns he'd taken. Now he knew the truth, as painful and as relinquishing as it was. She was the one. It was the truth he knew years ago but somehow tried to avoid, to deny for many reasons that now escaped him. Maybe because it was easier that way, he guessed. But love was never easy, not if it was real. His mom taught him that. He just needed to find that out on his own.

His steps are slow, measured, determination returning to him with every move he makes. She doesn't notice him yet, as she moves away from Blake. A woman stands up from her chair in the waiting room, making noise in usually quiet space and she turns around, finally seeing him, acknowledging his presence with her eyes and a small quirk of her pale lips before saying "Lucas." with a mixture of surprise and excitement in her voice.

"Hey." is not the most eloquent thing he ever said but it's all he can manage because he's focusing all his strength on keeping his eyes on her and not looking at the hand that is resting on her elbow in an almost protective way.

"What are you doing here?"

"You weren't answering your calls. And we were worried about you, Haley and Peyton and Nate…" he said, knowing perfectly well it was all a lie. Not a complete lie because yes, they were all worried but there was more to it. But that would have to wait.

"I'm fine." she answered quickly "It's just with everything that was going on I didn't really have time to check on my messages."

"I should go." Blake said, making his presence known.

"Yeah, I…Luke, this is Blake Raines." she introduced "Blake, this is Lucas Scott, a good friend of mine from Tree Hill."

"Yes, I've seen you at the game." Blake said. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too." Luke said, his second lie in the last fifteen minutes.

"As I said, I really should go. There was this big emergency at work and now that you're here…" he explained more to Lucas than to Brooke because she already knew all about it he was sure "But Brooke please call me when she wakes up or if you find out anything new, okay?"

"Of course." she said as he leaned in to kiss her on the cheek before putting his black coat on and leaving. Talk about a perfect boyfriend.

"You know, you didn't have to come all the way to New York to see if I was alright." she said, finally focusing her attention on him.

"Maybe not, but I wanted to." he said. And it was the truth.

And after that they were enveloped by the silence, standing there, the space between them drenched with the words they didn't dare to speak.

"As I said I'm fine. Doctor Andrews said a lot of big medical words that I don't really remember all that well but the point is Victoria's gonna be fine too. She broke a couple of ribs and had a bad concussion so she was in a medical induced coma but he said she should wake up soon." she explained quickly, wrapping her hands around her frame as a reflex.

"That's great. I'm glad that she's gonna be fine and that you're fine."

"Good, because I am. Fine that is." she repeated and he wondered if she was aware she's said the word fine for like fifth time in the last ten minutes "It's just that it takes some time for her to wake up so I'm waiting here." she finished sitting onto a beige couch with a sigh.

"I'll sit with you." he said simply.

"You don't have to do that."

"I don't mind. You shouldn't be here alone."

"Luke, I don't need a…"

"Why did Blake leave?" he said turning to face her "Shouldn't your fiancé be here for…"

"He's not my…" she said interrupting him but then Dr. Andrews walked in, holding a chart "Dr. Andrews, what's going on?" she asked, standing up.

"First of all, it's nothing bad so you can calm down." the doctor said in that annoying, composed voice.

"Okay, so is she gonna be alright?" Brooke asked nervously. Lucas watched her, the way she played with her fingers, the way she looked at the doctor, her eyes filled with anticipation and fear. He didn't know Victoria personally, but he's heard stories both from Brooke and Peyton (and a few from Nathan), and he was pretty sure she didn't deserve to have such a wonderful and caring daughter.

"Actually I came here to tell you that your mother is awake and mostly alert but she may seem a little sluggish as a result of all the medication she's on but you can go in and see her if you want to Miss Davis." Dr. Andrews said. "And also, if we don't see any further complications from the concussion I'm hoping we'll be able to discharge her in a few days." he finished.

"That's great news." Brooke said, letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding before saying "And yes, of course I do want to see her.", her voice lowering significantly "I'm just…" she said to Lucas, gesturing to Victoria's room with her hand.

"Of course. I'll wait here." he said with a nod.

"Okay." she said, her voice barely a whisper.

He watched her go, thinking how there weren't many things that brought out Brooke's insecurities and made her feel uncomfortable in her own skin but it was more than obvious that Victoria was one of them.

And he kind of hated her for it.

----BL----

There were a lot of positive sides of being able to stay at one of the most prestigious hospitals in NYC but right now all he could see were the bad ones. Since Victoria was at one of the most expensive rooms and floors of the hospital in general, there weren't many other patients in that same hallway so he was left alone it that damn waiting room. And there was nothing as hunting and creepy as an empty hospital hallway that smelled like a mixture of soup and a bad cough medicine so he really couldn't wait for her to return.

He was just sitting on one of the couches in the waiting room, trying to focus on reading of an old edition of Times under the light of a corner lamp when she walked in and plumped down beside him without a word, startling him. He dropped the newspaper on a small table in front of them unsure of what to do. She was sitting there, looking straight ahead, refusing to face him.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Nothing. She's doing alright." she retorted shortly.

"What did she tell you then?"

"Nothing in particular really." she said nonchalantly. "We didn't talk that much."

"Are you alright?" he asked finally, feeling as if he was talking to a wall. Something was definitely wrong.

"I'm fine Luke."

"God damn it Brooke stop saying you're fine cause you're obviously anything but." he said, a little louder than he intended to.

"I'm okay." she said with a raspy voice. "I should go and call Blake to tell him…" she said in a shaky voice, searching for her BlackBerry franticly in her jacket pockets.

Luke stopped her by taking her hands in his and said quietly "Then why won't you look at me?"

"Because…" she started, turning to face him, her teary hazel eyes begging him to let it go. But he couldn't, not after seeing the sadness in them even when she tried to deny it all. It was one of the things he liked about her, the way she carried her heart out on her sleeve, everything she was feeling easily readable in her eyes. But now the thing he was seeing was breaking his heart.

"Because…" she repeated, her voice cracking as tears fell freely down her flushed cheeks, her throat tightening.

"Brooke…" he said, his voice softening.

"It's just…I'm…" the tears kept falling, her breath hitching every time she tried to say something.

"Hey…" Lucas started softly, moving a little closer to her, trying to stay calm but unable to hide the worry that was slowly coming to the surface.

"It's all my fault." she confessed finally, her voice barely audible.

He pulled her to him, her whole body shaking from crying, as he whispered "Shh…" putting his hands around her. "It's gonna be okay."

"It's just like her…" she said between the gasps "to make me feel guilty even when…"

"What are you talking about?" he asked, puzzled by her words.

"God Luke, she got in an accident when she was on her way to Tree Hill… Isn't it obvious? She was coming for me…" she said looking at him with red, puffy eyes filled with remorse.

"That wasn't your fault." he tried to assure her.

"Of course it is. She said it." she said, laughing through tears almost hysterically "It's funny really… Even when she's in a hospital, lying in that damn bed she manages to wreck havoc on my life."

"Brooke, you can't blame yourself." he said, knowing his words did little to change her mind. "It's just one of those things that happen."

"Right. One of those things…" she repeated with a sigh "But if I didn't go to Tree Hill, if I stayed here, she would've never…"

"God, I can't believe she actually said that was your fault. I can't believe she said something like that to her own daughter." Luke said incredulously. Even though he never met Victoria he was seriously starting to dislike that woman.

"And here I was worrying…" she started, but it was hard to speak when she barely managed to breathe without choking up. It was as if all those pent up emotions were trying to come out on the surface all at once and she couldn't do anything to stop them.

"Shhh, just breathe." Luke said in that soft soothing voice, rubbing his hand down her back.

She curled up her feet up on the couch, wanting to escape. She wished she could just pretend this day never happened, she wished there was something that could distract her from it all, help her forget. Luke's soft eyes were looking at her as if she was some fragile object that could break any second. And she wanted so badly to convince him otherwise, to convince herself.

She wasn't weak.

Her hazel orbs quickly traveled from those blue eyes down to his lips and she moved closer, closing her eyes. But instead of his soft lips on hers she felt his finger on her mouth and his soft voice "No, not now. Not like this." he refused and she would forever be grateful to him for that. However, that evening, she was anything but.

"Luke, I just want to…" she said, her pleading eyes locked with his blue ones.

"Not like this." he said, wanting the same things she did, maybe even more but knowing this was not the way to get it. She was woundable and tired and desperate for a way out, and as much as he wanted to give her one he couldn't. So he breathed out and looked at those lost eyes with more care than he ever did and said "Hey, Victoria is gonna be okay. And I know you're hurt but what she said…she was wrong." he said slowly, with utter seriousness, wanting those words to reach her "And I know you'll see that eventually."

Her eyes pleaded him to say anything but that, to be the distraction she desperately needed but he just pulled her closer, his legs serving as a pillow to her as he pulled his jacket and dropped it on her shoulders, tucking it in.

He put his hand over hers softly making small circles up and down her wrist, calming her down. Her breathing slowed as she felt her eyes close, lulled to sleep by his heartbeat.

"You should try and get some sleep." he said softly as he leaned back, almost sinking into his seat from exhaustion.

"Luke…" she started, not knowing what she wanted to say exactly. Thank you didn't seem enough, not by a long shot. Lucas being here for her, saving her yet again from everything, from herself was all she could never dared to hope for.

"Shh…just close your eyes." he whispered into her soft, scarlet hair.

She complied, wanting to sink into the inviting darkness, eager to forget but as the minutes passed she realized she was failing to do so. Her thoughts kept drifting off to the events that occurred earlier, to the airport, and she found herself saying "I love you." words slipping away from her tongue, as easily as ice skates on an ice ring.

"Luke…" she said, wondering if he was as shocked by her words as she was.

But her only answer was his soft breathing and so she closed her eyes focusing on the sound, on his warm hand on hers, protective, offering a cover from the storm she was facing.

Outside it stopped raining.

----BL----

AN: So what do you guys think? All the thoughts, ideas and comments are more than welcome :)