Ahiru's True Form

Chapter Four

To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;

For in that sleep of death what dreams may come

-Shakespeare… duh

The greatest darkness in your heart lies beneath your blackest emotions. Beneath that darkness there is nothing. It is hard to describe nothing, except that it can not be explained in any of the normal ways. It is the opposite of existence, the reverse of life. The opposite of life isn't death, but oblivion, which is a hundred times more cold and trapping. Ahiru floated through the nothingness and felt the oblivion crushing down on her like a thousand fists.

In the darkness she flexed her fingers and she was impressed by her ability to move even if it was just a little. It occurred to her that she was still in the form of a human, but whither she was Princess Tutu or the girl named Ahiru she had no idea. She wondered why she was a human now, when she had accepted her fate to appear as a normal duck for the rest of her life. Is this a dream? Ahiru asked herself. Is my deepest wish, to remain a human for a little while longer? The silence that responded to her question was deafening.

So many questions swirled around in the black abyss that seemed to contain all of her existence. Could she say that she was just a duck? She had left her duck form to experience adventures and relationships that no duck could have.

So what was she? Was she a really a clumsy perky girl in a ballet school or was she the beautiful and majestic Princess Tutu? Could she be all three at the same time? The three forms were not as polarized as one would think. Princess Tutu and the girl Ahiru still had the heart of a duck, but the duck had the knowledge and experience of both the girl and the ballerina princess.

Was she doomed to be an over-qualified duck, an unprepared girl, or a now useless ballerina princess? Which form felt right to her? She thought about her life as Ahiru the girl. It was a good life, filled with friendships and hope. Her life as a duck or a ballerina princess looked far too lonely to her.

It doesn't matter what I become, I suppose, she thought in despair. Regardless of what form I take I will be of no more use to anyone in the story. Mythos regained his heart and has Rue now to take care of him and make him smile. Fakir discovered his true power and can protect them should anything happen. What do they need a silly duck-girl for anymore? The thought was darker then the inky blackness that surrounded her.

Still, she continued, I would like to see them again. I want to talk with Rue, see Mythos smile, and watch Fakir keep us all safe. I want to stay a girl, the one who was their friend. I know that I can't do anything for them and I might be selfish, but that is my true desire.

Thus, a duck made her decision to be become a girl named Ahiru, who danced like a duck, but had the peace of the greatest ballerina of all time.

"Aotoa, what are you doing at my house?"

Aotoa pushed his slipping glasses higher up his nose with a single finger. "I came here looking for you, dear cousin. I wanted to see the after-effects of the battle on your psyche."

Fakir stood up and crossed his arms. He stared menacingly at Aotoa. Aotoa continued without interruption.

"You seem to be in good order, a little worse for wear, but nothing a good night's sleep can't fix. I had just been considering the effects such a grand display of your power. There is nothing in the old books about Dosselmeyer that hint at any personal repercussions to the writing of stories but you are not Dosselmeyer. It occurred to me that you might have been driven mad with overexertion since you lack training or discipline. My secondary reason for being here pertains to the latter point."

Fakir furrowed his eyebrows before replying, "So you have come here to determine what has become of your little experiment. How considerate of you. Well, as you can see I am just fine. My friends are taking care of me. As for your latter point, I would prefer if this discussion was left for a later time."

Aotoa shook his head gravely. "I'm afraid I disagree. Your training should take a much higher priority in your mind. It would be highly unwise for you to continue much longer without proper guidance by someone such as myself, with superior knowledge and experience in these matters. I would highly recommend that you devout your soonest efforts and energies to the programs of studies I will provide to you."

Fakir stared into Aotoa's bespeckled eyes. "Your assistance is worthless to me. There is no reason for me to use my powers now the Monster Raven is gone."

Aotoa stiffened but nodded absently. "It is true that your friend Prince Siegfried is quite safe now from the dark powers of the Raven and is well reunited with all the shards of his heart, but you must think of the larger picture. There is much more to be obtained then this singular victory. Think of all the good you can do with this amazing power you have."

"I have no desire to explore this power anymore. It is too dangerous to the people I love. It was a power like my own that endangered my friends, and I will make sure that a power like it will never be used again."

"You idiot!" cried Aotoa, finally losing his cool. Desperate now, he attempted to persuade Fakir with one final argument. "If you will not use your powers as I would advise, at least consider the good you could do for your friends. Think of Prince Siegfried here. He is a timeless prince, torn from the story that was created for him. He is without a story or a purpose. The world you have created by tearing down Dosselmeyer's works will be a great inconvenience to him. At least consider writing a story for him, one that will allow him to live at his true potential. A person of power such as him would live in waste in a small town like Kinkad and a power like yours would be a great help to him."

Fakir's eye's flashed in anger but his voice was level when he replied, "Do not suppose these things for Mythos. His future is his own to decide and I would be the worst of friends to take that choice from him."

"And what does Prince Siegfried plan to do," Aotoa asked, pushing his glasses back up his nose with his ring finger.

Mythos moved next to Fakir before answering Aotoa. "I will return to my castle with my princess, Rue. I will take back up the seat of power that is rightfully mine by birth."

Aotoa smiled sinsterly. "Are you so stupid, Prince Siegfried, to think that there is any such place of power for the likes of you? Has it not occurred to you that you are a creation of Dosselmeyer? A character in an old fairy tale that has no basis in reality? You have wandered this world for countless centuries, searching in vain for your scattered heart and only recently fell into Fakir's care. Why, I bet you haven't aged at all since your first encounter with the Monster Raven. You are not human, Prince Siegfried. You are merely fairy tale prince who now lacks even a story."

Mythos eyes grew wide and his mouth opened as if he were going to reply but made no sound. Fakir glared furiously at Aotoa. He moved forward until he was speaking directly into Aotoa's face. "How dare you say that to my friend and a prince! Get out of my house! And never let me see your face again!"

Aotoa ruffled his figurative feathers and replied with forced calmness, "You can not use your powers without my help, I know more about Dosselmeyer and his power than any other person in existence. I will be waiting for you to come to me and beg my forgiveness. Only then will I share my store of knowledge with you. You will grovel before me soon enough, cousin."

"You wait for that day, cousin," Fakir spat the last word. "But I assure you it will be a long wait. Now get out of my house!"

Aotoa spun on his heels and headed out the door, slamming it behind him. Fakir let out a sigh of relief and exhaustion. Relief that the arrogant ass was finally out of his conscious spectrum and exhaustion over the energy it had required to get the git to leave.

Fakir turned back to Mythos and was surprised to see him staring down at the floor. He made a very pathetic sight. The princely posture had left him and what Fakir saw now was a boy with a small frame wearing oversized clothes that seemed to swallow his fragile body. Mythos shoulders hunched and his face was a dismal mix of introspection and gloom.

"Mythos," Fakir called. "What is the matter?"

Mythos continued to stare at the ground. A dark shadow rested over his face, disfiguring his fine features. "Do you think he was right? That I am just a made up person?"

Fakir breathed a sigh of relief. "Don't listen to that worthless idiot. He was just trying to get me worried about you so I would submit to his authority. He is a sad boy who is jealous of my inherited power and is trying to manipulate us into surrendering to his power."

"There might have been some truth to what he said," Mythos replied, his voice choked with emotion. Fakir had never seen Mythos so upset, having spent most of his life with the lifeless, heartless Mythos. This new Mythos was so unfamiliar to him. "I don't remember anything that happened to me before I broke my heart apart to seal the Monster Raven. I don't remember a castle or a throne, but I feel certain that I must have one somewhere. Perhaps I did, until the story came to a close."

Fakir shook his head and placed his hand on Mythos's thin shoulder. "The story Dosselmeyer wrote for us did not invent us. It only used us as pawns in a grandiose game. Dosselmeyer did not have the power to invent people, only to change them or manipulate their fates. Every character, however, had a history before the story began. It is just as likely that you were a prince as much as I was a knight."

"Using your logic, it is possible that I could have been an ordinary person who was given the role of a prince in a story. We don't know what my history was before this all began. We don't know how long this story has gone on. I've been wandering for centuries in this town, or at least I think I have." Mythos placed he hand on his forehead and held his head. "My memory is not very reliable. I know that I have never aged, but I don't know how long it has been since I was wandering without my heart. I have seen children grow into adulthood and die of old age without ever aging myself. If I am truly as old as the story says, my history is long lost by now."

"I supposed that could be possible," admitted Fakir. "However you say that it is your instinct that you were of noble birth before the spell of the story took over your fate. Let that be enough evidence of your true personality."

Mythos looked up into Fakir face finally, his eyes filled with heart-melting sadness. "What do you think, Fakir? What will you have me do now?"

Fakir considered the question before answering. "I would suggest that you learn what you can about the world outside of this town. Perhaps you will be able to find some clue to your original identity. I am, however, confident in your regality, I always have been. A pawn of a mishandled story or not, you will always be a prince in my eyes and I will continue to serve you anyway I can."

Mythos smiled then, and small but steady smile that seemed to bring a new brightness to the room. In Fakir's eyes, he seemed to grow once more into a stately prince, his back straightening and his chin rising up. The shoulder under Fakir's hand seemed to strengthen under his grip. "Are you still sure that you will not accompany me as my advisor? I could think of no one I would prefer more."

Fakir removed his hand from Mythos's shoulder and took a step back. "You obviously need to expand your circle of friends before you make any claims like that."

Mythos's smile widened and was about to reply when a loud noise in the street commandeered the friends' attention.

Rue sat at Ahiru's side, gently stroking Ahiru's cherry-colored hair absently. Her violet eyes rested on her friend's unconscious face heavy with guilt. Surely, she thought to herself, Ahiru would not be in such a state if I had not forced her to defend their beloved Mythos from my jealous rage. How ridiculous my actions seem now. She bent down over Ahiru's sleeping form and pressed a soft kiss on the girl's brow. I am sorry, Ahiru. You were a true friend until the end. I only regret that I could not return your kindness at the time. If you return to us, I promise to cherish you as you properly deserve. Rue swept a stray lock of hair from Ahiru's face and leaned back in her chair with a soft moan. It took a moment for Rue to realize that the moan had not been her own.

Ahiru stirred softly, moving her head from side to side on the pillow and furrowing her brow. Rue's heart raced and a brilliant smile overtook her face. She reached out and took Ahiru's still limp hand. She was rewarded when Ahiru's fingers flexed in her own.

"Ahiru," she whispered excitedly. "Can you hear me?"

Heavy eyelids parted to reveal familiar blue orbs. A small smile played at the corners of Ahiru's mouth. She whispered back a weak word that Rue regretfully missed.

She leaned forward intently and angled her ear toward Ahiru's mouth so she would not miss the next. "Please, Ahiru, say that again. I could not hear you."

"Rue-chan," Ahiru whispered with a smile. "You look beautiful."

Tears grew unbidden in Rue's eyes and she had to choke back a sob. Turned to look Ahiru directly in the eyes and said, "Ahiru, I promised the others that I would alert them as soon as you awoke, but would you mind if it was just us for awhile?"

Ahiru smile widened and she closed her eyes. "Okay, Rue-chan." Her head fell back in the pillow but her breathing did not slow, so Rue was certain she was not asleep. They stayed there for awhile hand in hand in silence, quietly appreciating each other's company.

Author's Note: Wow, this chapter was really hard to write. Hope you all like it! I already have this fic planned out to chapter 8 but don't worry, there is plenty to get done between now and then. Chapter five is going to see a lot of new and interesting developments so be sure to stop by and check it out in a few weeks!