Heart's Desire Chapter 10, a bleach fanfic

Heart's Desire Chapter 10

By C. LeShay

Genre: Romance, AU

Characters/Pairings: IchiRuki, etc.

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Me no own Bleach! I don't profit from writing this fanfiction, just so you know.

I remember saying I'll try to avoid using flashbacks a couple of chapters before; but its needed here so… well, here's a flashback chapter. For those curious about the AiRuki element of this story, here's something for you to ponder on. Remember that this in an AU story, so most of my ideas on how Gotei 14 protocol and interdivision relations work are purely SPECULATION and IMAGINATION.

Another warning: This chapter MIGHT confuse the stuffing out of you. Read it once, read it twice; a new perspective is always the best way to go.

…

Recap of previous chapter:

Rukia shook her head. "Ishida." She said quietly, looking down on the ground "I'm NOT going to beg for Ichigo's freedom. If Aizen Taicho believes I married Ichigo of my own free will, he will drop his charges and the sentence will be lighter. Ichigo can go home earlier." She looked up to glare at the fukutaicho "I will ask – if need be, demand Aizen taicho to drop all charges. I don't care what it takes or what I have to lie about."

"Rukia-san…"

"I will tell Aizen taicho that I was the one who forced Ichigo to marry me. That I made a ruse that caused him to come after me at my brother's division. Then nii-sama will hear the exact same thing from me, I hope that it will be enough to make him drop his charges against him as well – maybe all of it." She mumbled, nervous at the prospect of making the Kuchiki family look like fools in Seiretei. "Ichigo is needed here, he must be here with his family."

"With all of us, you mean." Ishida said, making Rukia look at him in surprise. The fukutaicho turned the other way; not wanting the other to come to the conclusion that he gave the acknowledgment everyone had been waiting to hear for half a century.

Ishida cleared his throat uncomfortably, "What will you do if Aizen does not listen? You're already in his division, he could easily prevent you from going out."

"He won't do that." Rukia assured him.

"What if he does?" He insisted, hoping one last time to dissuade the shinigami noble who was slowly earning his respect.

Rukia sighed, looking wryly at Ishida's back. "Well, if you ask me… that's where YOU'RE coming in."

…

(Flashback)

The Kuchiki gardens held a definite appeal for Rukia. Unlike the other places within her brother's manor, this was a calm and relaxing place. This was where she took refuge when she couldn't handle the pressure of being a Kuchiki. For Rukia, the refreshing view of the neatly arranged Zen garden, surrounded by rows and rows of sakura trees was a treat she enjoyed as much as she could

Because come tomorrow when she returned to the 13th, she would have to put on the Kuchiki façade once more. Not that it deterred others into interacting with her. On the contrary, it was the said façade that was helping her cope with the ill rumors running behind her back. Her being a weak shinigami was the least of it. Ukitake taicho and his third seats may genuinely care and feel concern for her but she was sure that even they couldn't stop others from thinking that she had something to do with their fukutaicho's disappearance.

But if the rumor that she whored herself out to the then very married Shiba Kaien in order to learn her zanpaktuô's shikai release went out of the 13th, eyebrows and tongues within the Kuchiki council of elders would wag. And this could potentially make matters difficult for Rukia, especially after she had just recently cut down cold the latest marriage proposal from an affluent family that the Kuchikis did business with.

"Rukia."

Hearing her brother's voice, Rukia felt her spine stiffen in reflex. Damn, even until now, all she could do was cower in his presence. She knew Byakuya nii-sama was not pleased. With as much grace as she could muster, Rukia stood from her sitting position to meet her brother, the head of the Kuchiki clan and taicho of the 6th division – Kuchiki Byakuya. "Good morning Nii-sama." She murmured quietly, bowing respectfully.

They were not alone. As Rukia stood to her full height (which wasn't much, she thought ruefully), she saw the taicho of the 5th division, Aizen Sousuke. She wondered why it was that he came. Aizen taicho was a guest at a celebration held at the Kuchiki manor last night and she had the privilege of engaging in a small conversation with him. An interesting one, if she may add. Maybe, if she wasn't in the 13th, the 5th would have been a good option as well. After all, like her own taicho, Aizen taicho was a kind and gentle man who treated his subordinates fairly and equally, respecting both their abilities and shortcomings as shinigami. He was also one of the few kidō geniuses in Seiretei who wasn't part of the Kidō Corps.

Rukia remembered meeting him back when she was preparing for her examination to qualify at the Shinigami academy more than ten years ago. For a taicho, he was exceedingly polite and down-to-earth. She had a few questions regarding the academy and he provided her with insightful information that she was hesitant to ask her brother about. Despite his scheduled meeting with her newly-promoted brother, Aizen Sousuke clearly went out of his way to make her feel comfortable before he excused himself to look for Kuchiki Byakuya.

"Aizen Taicho, good morning."

Smiling gently, Aizen Sousuke regarded Rukia with a friendly look "A pleasant morning too, Kuchiki Rukia."

"Rukia." Her brother said "Aizen taicho told me that you have aptitude for kidō; and in regards to this he wishes to take you as an apprentice."

Rukia felt confused. "Me? Aptitude in kidō? Aizen taicho's apprentice?" true, her marks at the academy for this particular skill was high, but it was nowhere as impressive as Aizen taicho himself was saying. "But, I'm in the 13th division… shouldn't Ukitake taicho have a say in this first?"

"He does." Aizen said, "I talked to him just this morning too. He acknowledges your skill in kidō, and he is quite pleased with it, Kuchiki-san." He smiled politely as he looked down on the smaller shinigami "However, it would be a shame that he can't focus on training you himself, considering that he is busy. After your division's fukutaicho had disappeared, Ukitake taicho himself is spread too thin."

Byakuya looked at his sister, "Both Ukitake taicho and Aizen taicho agreed that you need to be trained in kidō formally. I agree; this training is to compensate for the fact that your hand combat and sword skills are still below average."

Fighting the urge to flinch, Rukia willed her face to stop burning in embarrassment from hearing her brother call her abilities below average.

As if understanding her discomfort, Aizen smiled at her "I think you'll do fine in those aspects too. Free your mind first, and your body will follow. Of course, the lessons will be here in your home. I talked to Ukitake taicho to assure him that I'm not trying to get a well-loved subordinate of his to my own division." He assured her, laughing softly, obviously unaware of just how 'well-loved' Rukia was to the shinigami of her division. "I'm also training Hinamori-kun to be more assertive as a fukutaicho. I see this as an opportunity for both of you. If I am not in our division, nor in the Gotei 14 offices at the court of pure souls, she will get more opportunities to exercise her command over the men."

Rukia could not help but feel the slightest twinge of envy hit her. Hinamori Momo, fukutaicho of the 5th division was given responsibilities. As one of Gotei 14's kidō masters, she was treated with the respect that was befitting a ranked shinigami. Unlike her, who was treated like a delicate china doll – kept behind a shelf for fear of its apparent fragility.

Ukitake taicho once said that she was a good, competent shinigami. He encouraged her to train harder and had been pleased with her progress. In fact he was definitely proud of the moment when she learned about the dances of her zanpaktuô. But somehow, no matter how hard she tried; she was still far away from earning the respect of the other members of their division. To them, she was just Kuchiki Rukia, younger sister of the noble Kuchiki Byakuya taicho. Nothing more and certainly a lot less.

"I think it would beneficial for you to agree and accept Aizen taicho's offer to be an apprentice. It wouldn't be of any issue if it was vouched by your taicho himself." Byakuya said, breaking Rukia's reverie.

If Ukitake taicho agreed to it, it meant that she had hope yet. It was the truth that her taicho was spread too thinly in the division and to ask him to train her was too much of her to do. But he was genuinely worried about her that he even gave permission for her to be trained – by another likewise talented taicho!

If her talent were supposed to be in kidō, then Rukia would take that chance with both hands. Turning to face Aizen, she bowed deeply. "Thank you for your offer, Aizen taicho and I accept it. I look forward to learn a lot from you."

(End flashback)

…

"I hope you're sure about this, Kurosaki-san." Ishida muttered as they stopped in front of the 5th division office in the Court of Pure Souls. According to their sources, Aizen did not go to his division in the district earlier in the morning. Rather, the taicho headed straight to Seiretei's center as soon as he finished his visit to Kurosaki. Ishida knew it was better this way, at least not many would hear about this matter. There were enough rumors flying around for them to give them even more to talk about.

"I won't be here if my mind wasn't made up, you know." Retorted Rukia as she psyched herself for her meeting with the man she was originally betrothed to. The same man who taught her almost everything she knew about kidō, and who acted as a friend and mentor to her. Despite her resolve, she knew that lying blatantly to Aizen would be difficult for her, considering he knew her too well. "And call me Rukia. Ishida-san." She said wryly "The name Kurosaki-san I associate with Ichigo or his father more."

"Certainly not!" Ishida said looking surprised "You're a noble. Shall I call you Rukia-sama then?"

"Drop the sama and you got yourself a deal."

"You're still Kurosaki's wife." He pointed out "Why would I drop the honorifics?"

Rukia rolled her eyes. "Tell you what, you call me Rukia-san and I won't call you anything embarrassing."

"Like what?"

"I don't know," Rukia said airily "Maybe… Orihime's boyfriend or something. How about Orihime's stud?"

Ishida paled before turning completely red in the face. "Again, may I ask: are you sure you want to see Aizen, Rukia-san?"

Of course she wasn't sure. Who in their right mind wouldn't be? She had to steel her resolve many times before she came up with this ridiculous idea. Rukia had to be honest; she was terrified to meet Aizen now that her marriage to Ichigo was common knowledge. During the time she and Ishida walked along the well-memorized hallways of the Court of Pure Souls (she had accompanied both Ukitake taicho and her brother here on many occasions), Rukia had already been debating on whether she ought to call the whole thing off.

Taking a deep breath, she took a step forward.

…

(Flashback)

The library was a welcome sanctuary at the Kuchiki manor for Rukia. It was where she could unwind and relax after spending a stressful week at the 13th. Besides, the library had all sorts of interesting books that would keep her interested.

"Hey, Rukia." Abarai Renji, her brother's fukutaicho called her as his head poked out of the door "You better get down there, quick; taicho wants you to go to his study. IMMEDIATELY."

"Oh darn." Muttered Rukia as she looked back at the book forlornly. "Just give me a second, please, will you?" she replied before climbing down her perch nimbly. "I haven't done anything wrong this time, did I Renji?"

Renji raised a weirdly-shaped brow "Why, have you done anything this time?"

"You're starting to copy nii-sama's manner of speech it scares me." Rukia said, faking a shudder. "So, I'll just go on ahead?"

"I guess." Shrugged Renji "He was talking to Aizen taicho, but maybe they're done by now."

Nodding her thanks, Rukia walked as fast as she could without seeming to look like she was in a hurry. Upon reaching the study, she knocked softly a couple of times before she opened the door "Nii-sama?" she asked. "Oh, my apologies." She said, surprised to find her brother and Aizen taicho in deep conversation.

"Rukia, come inside." Byakuya said. As his sister complied, the noble looked at Aizen for a moment before motioning the other to take a seat.

Confused, Rukia sat stiffly on the chair, aware that both men were looking at her. As it was impolite to speak first, she kept her eyes downcast, waiting to be addressed.

"Rukia. It has come to my conclusion that you have rejected yet another proposal of marriage last week."

To say that she was surprised at the turn of events was an understatement.

"You have rejected more than a hundred proposals already."

Rukia prayed that her face would not burn in embarrassment. Why was nii-sama discussing this in front of Aizen taicho? Did it have anything to do with her kidō training or anything? "Nii-sama… I… I have no intention of marrying… as of yet." Dear lord, she hoped her nii-sama would not probe into this further and ask more embarrassing questions.

"Is there anyone you are considering?"

Rukia felt her throat constrict. Why was he asking only now? Ignoring that thought, she shook her head, "I'm afraid there is none… as of the moment." It wasn't like she had already met all of the men in soul society. This whole conversation was absurd, like a scene out of a novel or something. Nervously, she took the tea that was offered to her.

Her brother looked at her as he contemplated something in his head. "Well then, Aizen taicho has asked for your hand in marriage."

It took all of Rukia's self-control to not spew the tea all over them. "Nii-sama?" she asked.

"Excuse me?"

Aizen Sousuke turned to face her "Rukia-san… I asked your brother for your hand in marriage. I would like to ask your opinion regarding this."

Her bloody opinion? Rukia thought in panic. Was he asking for a reply… NOW? She stared at her brother, who was looking at her with his usual guarded expression.

"Perhaps it is best if you convince her first of your suit." Byakuya said as he stood up. "I will have to head back to my division." He told them as he inclined his head to the other man. "Aizen Taicho." He said stoically.

"Of course, Kuchiki taicho." Aizen said as he too stood up and bowed to the other man respectfully.

"Rukia."

"Nii-sama."

Without another word, Byakuya left the study, his scarf swirling behind him as he went.

"Rukia-san?" Aizen finally asked, as soon as they were alone, "Did my question make you feel uncomfortable?"

Knowing that Aizen taicho would want her to be honest, Rukia gave a small nod. "I confess – it was a shock." She told him as she clenched the fabric of her kimono as she remained seated "I'm sorry, It's just that I wasn't expecting it." She gave him a pensive look while hanging on to her Kuchiki composure. "Though we have known each other for a number of years…"

"I agree that it does seem sudden. I am sorry to have made you uncomfortable."

For a while no one spoke.

Aizen cleared his throat. "My intentions are not shallow and dishonorable." He said quietly. "I must say that your keen mind caught my attentions, Rukia-san. Your sense and intelligence is remarkable, as well as your abilities."

All-too-used to compliments, Rukia only nodded.

"Spending time with you was something I enjoyed because you are smart and kind. Your determination to improve yourself is admirable to say the least…"

In the back of her mind, Rukia was relieved that this wasn't turning out like a repeat of the past proposals – where her virtues were exaggerated beyond belief as the would-be suitor went on bended knees in praise of her traits.

"I find myself looking forward to spending time with you and suddenly feeling hesitant to bring our meetings to a close. I am not a noble, nor am I wealthy, but I would care for you, Rukia-san; my respect for you will never waver. I wish that you would do me the honor of being my wife."

"Aizen taicho…" she said quietly "You have done me enough honor by being my mentor and friend. But this is something that people will not take lightly. If you look for convenience –

"I have lived long enough not to be bothered by trivial gossip." Aizen told her. "I am of course worried about how they would view you. But Seiretei does not really take the boundaries of age, status, and even profession into consideration too seriously; any rumors will cease eventually. As for your notion that this is a proposal for convenience," he said slowly yet earnestly, as if hesitant that his words would only make her recoil "I assure you that convenience is the farthest thing from my mind. I have thought about this matter over and over again, Rukia-san. And this is entirely selfish for me… but even if my intentions would cause them to think of me as taking advantage of you and my friendship with you and your brother, it is a risk I am willing to undertake just for the honor and pleasure of your company throughout the rest of my existence."

Rukia did not know what to say. Not when this speech was something novel and unheard of for her. Aizen taicho was a friend, yes, but to marry him was like to marry… Renji.

"You need not reply now." Aizen said as he stood up and bowed politely. "I only wish to press my suit – not overwhelm you for an answer. When you find it favorable to reply, I will hear you out." With that, Aizen Sousuke left.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Rukia's expression turned into one that was deep in thought.

Now what? Without a doubt, nii-sama favored a marriage between her and Aizen taicho. This was in fact the first time he made her listen to a proposal while he was present. It was either the suitors went to see her brother or her, never the two of them at the same time.

To be honest, Rukia never expected to be allowed to decide for herself. All Kuchiki marriages were arranged, and everyone in the clan expected her to be engaged to a noble from another prominent clan. What surprised them was that nii-sama allowed her to enroll in the shinigami academy instead. All the while she was studying, she was plagued with the idea that she would be called by the elders one day and told that they had taken the liberty to give her hand to a man whose fortune and prominence would do their clan good. Despite this fear, Rukia had conditioned herself that whatever decision her brother made, she would accept it. If Byakuya ordered her to marry Aizen, she would do so without complaints, whatever her thoughts might be all because she carried the name Kuchiki.

Now she was given the choice to decide for herself, and Rukia found it difficult to make up her own mind. It was then that Rukia realized just how much the elders have brainwashed her. To think that she was considered to be headstrong by everyone in Seiretei when she obviously had difficulty deciding for herself when she was needed to!

In determination, Rukia wracked her brains in an attempt to find herself again.

…

The sun had drifted considerably lower by the time Rukia had gone through the proposals she rejected. She finally came to the conclusion that had discarded them all without a moment of thought. True, there were some proposals that were downright disgusting and ridiculous, but Rukia had to admit in hindsight that a lot of those men were impressionable enough for the Kuchiki name. However, she discovered that she always had a ready refute against them, for reasons that was slowly becoming known to her.

Why was she being so evasive about marriage anyway? Inoue was right, she ought to move on now that… well, it had been for far too long and he wasn't returning just for her. It was wishful thinking to imagine Shiba Kaien returning for her. Not when he was still in love with his deceased wife. It was foolish of her to hope that he'd wake up one day and find himself over the death of Miyako. It was even more foolish to think that she would feel something deeper than what she felt for Kaien for another man.

The kiss he gave her before was probably a pity-kiss.

Yeah, that was it. A sort of consolation prize for Kuchiki Rukia, his friend and subordinate in the 13th. His 'I would marry you in a heartbeat if that prissy Byakuya approved' speech was a half-hearted attempt to make her laugh when he told her that he would be leaving Seiretei for good. Kaien really cared for her well-being, this was why she never told Ukitake taicho that his fukutaicho that went AWOL was headed to the living world. She figured that he'd come to that conclusion himself. And when he did, Rukia had no doubts he would keep it a secret too. After all, Kaien was the 13th's fukutaicho, and they all watched each other's backs.

Well that was that. Rukia thought as she mentally straightened her shoulders. Maybe she should give Aizen taicho the chance to get to know her more. Tomorrow, she vowed, she would be open to any possibility. It was time to prove Inoue wrong.

Kuchiki Rukia was NOT waiting for Shiba Kaien to fall in love with her, or for a man to sweep her off her feet. These were just for novels, not real-life. Because seriously, the chances of these two actually happening was just as slim as her being abducted to the altar. And Rukia snorted at the thought.

(End flashback)

…

When Aizen Sousuke looked up from his work, Rukia was surprised to see him and how he changed. The usually good-natured and cheerful taicho was brooding, silent, and most definitely hurt. Not for the first time, Rukia heard her mind call her a bitch for causing this much pain to another person – to a friend nevertheless. "Aizen taicho." She said hesitantly "I came to check on you… and to apologize in person."

Slowly, Aizen closed the ledgers he was reviewing. "Rukia." He said, motioning for her to take a seat in front of his desk. "I'm glad to see that you were not hurt. I was worried that I'd find you in the 4th division." As he pushed his work to the side, Aizen stared at her, taking his time to study her appearance.

It was obvious that Rukia had been under a lot of stress. Her luminous face looked pale and somewhat sallow, with her cheeks hollowing ever so slightly. Despite that, she carried herself extremely well as she arrived in her shinigami garb, her posture showing none of the weight she was carrying ever since the rumors circulated in Seiretei.

"You've lost weight, Rukia. Have you been getting enough food and rest?"

"I'm fine, Aizen taicho. Thank you for asking."

Nodding carefully, Aizen stood up to get her some tea. The atmosphere in the office was somewhat tense; that he felt it was only rational to dispel it in some way. "Have some tea, Rukia." He said, placing the drink on the table before he returned to his seat, his hand clutching his own tea.

As Rukia reached out to take her drink, Aizen spied a slim gold band with small diamonds adorning her slender ring finger. It was a very new trend from the living world that only few of the young married couples in Seiretei followed. This band was supposed to symbolize and let the others know that the person was already wedded.

The presence of a wedding band on Rukia's finger meant that she was lawfully the spouse of Kurosaki taicho. And it was an idea that did not sit well with Aizen.

Instead of cowering under his unwavering gaze as what most people would have done, Rukia forced herself to face him and look at him in the eye. "I'm so sorry Aizen taicho. This is entirely my fault. I didn't mean for it to end up like this, I swear."

The taicho of the 5th looked at Rukia with probing eyes. "Tell me Rukia, is there really no way out of the marriage?" he asked quietly. "Because if there is, you can tell me, and I'll see to it that –

"I'm afraid that there really is no way out." Rukia lied, keeping her face impassive. Even if she hated lying, especially to Aizen taicho, the recent events have but left her with no choice. "My marriage to Kurosaki Taicho cannot be dissolved. It is acknowledged as binding by the Quincy as well."

"Why do you not trust me enough, Rukia?" Aizen suddenly asked. "Why won't you tell me what he did to you? About what happened to you there." He insisted "Your brother is worried, as I am. If Kurosaki taicho has forced himself on you, you must tell me. Do not be afraid, I will not judge you - "

Rukia shook her head "I'm sorry, but I am telling the truth." She said coolly, interrupting him from his train of thoughts. Knowing how he saw things from his perspective made her face feel heating slightly in embarrassment. "My husband has never forced himself… and whatever it is that you are asking… it was… with my… participation and consent." Mentally, Rukia hoped that he wouldn't probe into the topic anymore. It was unsettling to lie on this scale.

For a moment, Aizen's eyes bore onto hers. But he finally looked away with a small sigh. "Then there is truly nothing I can do? Have I lost you completely then?" Without waiting for her answer, Aizen once again focused his gaze on her. "Why Rukia? How could you give yourself to someone knowing you pledged yourself to me first?"

This was the exact question Rukia would have paid her entire fortune not to answer. "He was… just there, Aizen taicho." She said hesitantly, wondering how she could give him a satisfactory answer. "Ichigo is a very complex man… I confess, I was prepared to hate him and I did – at first." Taking a deep breath, Rukia was surprised to have the words flowing out of her mouth so rapidly. "But when I was at his home, everyone was just so kind to me and Inoue. His friends, his family, they all treated me like I was a part of their group… his sisters are adorable, his father was just funny, and his friends were very nice to me. And Ichigo…"

At this point, Rukia's voice trailed off as she tried to look at something, anything as her mind dug up words to sum up the Taicho she went at loggerheads with previously. "Ichigo is a just and fair man, Aizen taicho. Yes, he may act differently; he's crude and uncouth," she said, amusement faintly showing across her face as she remembered her verbal sparing matches with him. "But he has principles and he inspires his men so much. He cares for them and his family. It became all too easy for me to… respect and admire him… like him… and … um… want him…" Rukia felt her palms sweat as she stretched her story to greater heights, her voice fortunately not faltering as she added that last tidbit carefully.

It was true enough that she slowly respected Ichigo. She saw certain traits about him that she would never have believed possible before, but he was genuinely a memorable character. But as for wanting him… Rukia was not sure how to approach the matter – yet. But did she?

"He's an honorable man, Aizen taicho, please take my word for it."

"I have truly lost you." Aizen said ruefully, but there was a hint of understanding in his eyes. It was something that made Rukia feel relief. "Although I must confess to feel slighted, I'm afraid that I have no choice but to concede in this matter, it seems Kurosaki Taicho is the better man for you. I may try to fight to get you back, but what good will it do if you won't be completely mine?"

Did this mean that her betrothed would not insist on the matter of their engagement anymore? The thought filled Rukia with unexpected giddiness. "Thank you for understanding, Aizen taicho."

"Although I hope that you don't expect me to bring out the welcoming committee each time I see Kurosaki taicho."

"Oh no… I certainly wouldn't." Rukia assured him

Aizen chuckled, "I suppose you'll be asking for a wedding gift." He said as he gave her an amused look "I am not at all convinced that you just came here to tell me all these things."

Resisting the urge to look sheepish at being found out, Rukia just smiled. "Actually, I was rather hopeful that you'd take back the complaint you filed against my husband. Considering that he didn't do anything to your division."

There was a pregnant pause, before Aizen spoke again. "I'm not sure if that's a good idea, Rukia. Your brother and I believe that whatever wrong it is that Kurosaki taicho has done, it ought to be punished." He shook his head as he saw Rukia try to defend her husband "What would happen if a taicho who committed a crime went away unpunished? Anarchy would break out in Seiretei and everyone would start thinking that they can get away with just about anything."

Deep down, even if Rukia did want to see Ichigo freed, she knew that Aizen taicho's statement had merit. But she had hopes that Aizen would at least cut him some slack as his complaint against her husband had nothing to do with the security and well being of Seiretei. Perhaps Ishida was right, seeing Aizen would accomplish nothing. "I understand." she said slowly, as she stood up. "Thank you for sparing the time for me, Aizen taicho." Perhaps her earlier plan of convincing Aizen taicho was a bad one. There was also something about this conversation that was unsettling her, making her want to leave immediately.

"Well you ARE the Kuchiki princess." He said in jest "And everyone knows, it does not do one good to cross a Kuchiki."

Rukia smiled. This was what she would miss, the easy camaraderie with Aizen taicho and his wit. Though he was completely different from Ichigo, Rukia also admired and respected him.

"Rukia."

She was too lost in her thoughts that she was surprised to see Aizen standing in front of her. Too close for comfort. How did her get there so fast anyway?

He was looking down at her intently, with one of his arms braced against the table where she stood. "Aizen taicho?" she asked, trying to calm her nerves, as the feeling of panic increased. This was familiar, all too familiar…

(Flashback)

"Rukia?" Aizen asked, "Is there something bothering you?"

"Oh nothing really, Aizen taicho."

Despite his out-of-the-blue proposal, the kidō training that she had with him continued on. To his credit, he did not press the issue further, but he did become more concerned about her and he often went out of his way to impress her. It was a courtship ritual Rukia was familiar with.

Byakuya nii-sama on the other hand made some subtle hints regarding what he thought of Aizen taicho and he occasionally invited him over to join them for dinner. It was obvious that he approved of his fellow taicho and he was trying to make her give him a chance to prove himself.

It was just so frustrating that she could not decide on her own. Really, if she had a nasty streak, she would have agreed to marry a man that her brother would loathe wholeheartedly. Yes, she thought with a mental nod that was emphatic, she ought to elope and marry someone without her brother's knowledge and blessing. She should marry a complete and utter… what was that word that her nii-sama often muttered when he was home? Oh yes, uncouth; an uncouth and annoying man who acted completely unlike her nii-sama. Rukia could already imagine the surprise and shock on Byakuya's face when that happened!

Unfortunately, she was also sure that the poor man would get the full blast of her brother's anger, which was not good at all. Obviously, no mere soul could impress her brother. Kaien perhaps, but he was not interested to see if it was possible. Aizen taicho did, yet Rukia was not completely certain that she was willing to marry him. As for her other suitors… well, they were better off chasing other prospects, as she would reject them several times over.

The only logical choice was to marry Aizen taicho – if she wanted to get married. After all, nii-sama already approved of him; he was an upstanding and popular taicho as well.

"Rukia," Aizen said out of the blue "Will you marry me?"

Would she? "Perhaps." She said looking up to meet his stare as dread pooled in her stomach. "I am fond of you, Aizen taicho, but I need more time. Besides you said you wouldn't press your suit too much."

He nodded. "And I intend to keep that promise."

Rukia felt relief, and in that moment, she fancied that she was floating high up in the air, feeling a certain kind of peace. Something that she often associated in Aizen taicho's presence. It didn't happen all of the time, but it made itself known to her whenever she doubted him. Ever since he trained her and they sparred using their zanpaktuô, Rukia had felt her emotions become tied in knots; one minute she felt a certain fear grip at her, the next she was feeling warmth and safety – all in Aizen's presence. It was unexplainable and confusing. How was it possible to feel safe and wary of a person at the same time?

Suddenly, Aizen was in front of her, his hand holding her cheek.

"Marry me, Rukia." He said once again, in carefully enunciated words. As Rukia looked up to face him and deny him, her mind flashed with certain things, scenes – perhaps even fanciful imaginings. A family. Respect from Nii-sama and the Kuchiki clan. A seat at the 13th. A lot of things. Why in the world was she daydreaming and at this moment nonetheless?

Rukia felt her eyes burn with unshed tears. All the things she wanted… not the money, the prestige… but the things that matter… was it really something that Aizen taicho could give her?

What about… Kaien?

But wasn't it Aizen taicho who wanted you? Something inside her asked, as memories of training with the other man flashed in front of her eyes. Aizen taicho… the man who cared for her and valued her as a shinigami first and as a woman second.

Wasn't Aizen taicho the one protecting her all these times that she pined for Kaien? Rukia thought to herself as she was once more assailed with memories, of her attempting to go against a hollow on her own and being rescued by a worried Aizen taicho himself. Didn't he promise that she would always be safe with him? Wasn't he –

Why was she seeing Kaien's fateful farewell when he left for Seiretei again? Why was she seeing him walk away from her for the last time?

Then warm arms were holding her as her knees buckled.

"Marry me, Rukia." Aizen 's voice said clearly from the clearing fog of memories. All of it hurt her head. She wanted to cry from the pain exploding in her head. Bad memories often hurt, didn't they? Somehow, there was this nagging feeling persisting that the hurtful memories would stop if she gave Aizen taicho a favorable answer. Was it true?

"Yes Aizen taicho," she whispered while she teetered on the brink of a painful daze "I will marry you."

Suddenly, the fog cleared and Rukia could once again see clearly. And she could see Aizen taicho looking over her kindly as she was wrapped in the warmth of his arms. "You have made me a very happy man with your answer, Rukia." He said as he leaned to press his lips against hers.

Why was it that all she had were bad memories, Rukia wondered as she stood still while Aizen taicho's arms wrapped more tightly around her as his lips moved against hers with no little amount of possessiveness. As she felt her body go limp, the last thought she had was that of a wish – for the nightmares to stop completely.

(End flashback)

By now, his lips were already on hers. This caused an intense feeling of unease that slid down her spine. Making sure her lips were tightly sealed, Rukia stepped to the side to avoid any more of it. "Aizen taicho." She said quietly, yet with a definite edge, "Please stop that, it is hardly proper." She added, unable to look at him in the eye.

Wordlessly, Aizen stepped back. "I'm sorry." He said, looking properly horrified at what he had done. "I didn't know what came over me."

Rukia nodded curtly "I have to go." She said immediately, "Ishida fukutaicho must be getting worried." Without another word, Rukia walked as fast as she could out of the office. Once outside, she leaned against the wall, taking deep breathes to calm her racing heartbeat. Damnit, what happened back there? One minute they were talking, and then he kissed her. And he even did it without her inkling!

Walking as fast as she could without trying to look like she was running, Rukia ventured outdoors. As she passed a corridor, she could hear whispers being traded back and forth while the eyes of these people were on her back. Ignoring the obviously malicious gossip, Rukia stepped out of the building to see Ishida fukutaicho who was looking as agitated as he allowed himself to be.

The man was obviously worried; the tension in him was almost visible to the naked eye. It didn't help that certain shinigamis were glaring at him. "Are you all right?" he asked without preamble. "What happened to you?"

"I'm fine." Rukia assured him, "I just want to get out of here."

Ishida wanted to say that she finally found the sense to realize just how much in danger she was in meeting Aizen alone, but he figured the first thing on the agenda was to get her either to the 13th or 14th. Apparently, no one bothered to inform her yet about Ukitake taicho's condition because she made no move to head to her division and glean information.

All that was important right now was to make sure that she was safe, or Kurosaki would skin him alive. "Let's go; I'll take you to the 14th." He said as he walked beside her.

Rukia shook her head. "No, I want to go to the 10th. I want to see Ichigo."

…

From the window of his division, Aizen could see the forms of Rukia and Ishida fukutaicho make their way out. A small frown wrinkled his brows. "My my, Rukia-chan." he said as he smirked "I didn't know you've grown to be an expert liar."

…

C.LeShay's corner

Meh. A flashback chapter sure makes my head hurt. I hope this one sheds some light on the 'dynamics' of the AiRuki element of this story. It tells a lot yes, but it still leaves much to your speculation. I'm hoping that those reading this chapter will catch on the hints that I placed in this chapter. These hints all point to future chapters and I hope you guys can wait for it.

Yes, I mentioned Kaien here, as he did play a significant part in Rukia's life. If you didn't get the previous reference: he was Rukia's first kiss. There's a bit of OoC-ness to Rukia here, but it will be explained - just not in the next chapter.

I also could not resist making future references to Ichigo here. Hope you were all able to spot them.

Once again, thanks for reading. And please, do review. I want to know just how this 'experimental' chapter went.