By the time the Enterprise and the Uzhau docked a week later, the dress was done and Uhura was well on her way to cementing a new relationship with Sarek.

The majority of the crew headed planet-side to start their leave, while a small contingent remained on board for a short time to handle the trade-off with Starfleet dock crew for repairs and upgrades. Everyone was eager to get vacation plans underway. They had three months (minus a week or so for the skeleton crew remaining on board) off ship and they meant to enjoy as much as they could.

Kirk rounded up McCoy, Sulu, Scotty and Chekov and among them, they managed to drag Spock off to enjoy the bright lights of New York City.

A somewhat reluctant Christine Chapel, an enthusiastic Janice Rand, an out-of-mind-with-excitement Gaila and a coterie of female crew members accompanied Uhura to meet her sister in the same town for a combined bridal shower and hen night.

A fun, if exhausting, time was had by all.

Nyota Uhura woke the next morning to hot lips and a warm hand on her person. As she lay on her tummy, one smooth brown cheek pressed against the crisp pillow case with her own hands tucked under the pillow itself, lips brushed her other cheek. A hand had crept beneath her short sleep shirt and was tracing circles between her shoulder blades. She smiled into the lips that covered her own.

A low growl shuttered against her lips as the hand slid down to rest on her cotton-clad buttocks. Her smile widened to a grin when the growler's tongue brushed against her teeth.

And suddenly, her lips were bare. The hand was squeezing her ass.

"Wake up, beautiful Nyota." Spock murmured, his voice throaty with… something.

Uhura opened her eyes to meet her fiancé's. He lay on his side, facing her, his back to the late morning light pouring through the hotel room window. Dark and dilated with desire, his eyes bored into hers as he leaned in for another lingering kiss.

His hand moved down to her thigh, then back up to burrow beneath her panties. He squeezed once more, pulling her closer then growled again.

Smiling again, Uhura stretched against her half-Vulcan lover. She felt the evidence of what she'd heard in his voice.

"Good morning, k'diwa," she whispered, winding her arms around his neck. "Did you have fun last night?"

"Not as much fun as you will have today, beloved." He dipped his head for another kiss. This time his tongue made it past her teeth and the evidence became even more evident.

Much too soon, in Uhura's opinion (although, in fact, several delicious minute went by), Spock broke off the kiss and tugged at her briefs with both urgent hands.

At first, she found herself too stunned to move, instead she clung to his neck, her eyes wide with shock. Where was the usually graceful man who carefully peeled away her clothing, covering her with kisses as he unveiled her?

Spock growled in frustration and desire.

"Really, lieutenant," he said in almost-pouty tones, "I believe it would be beneficial if you were to assist me in removing all unnecessary barriers to the pleasure we both undoubtedly wish we were already experiencing."

She swallowed a chuckle and settled for another grin.

"Mmm, Spock," she murmured, wiggling her butt to allow him better purchase on her waistband. "What's gotten into you this morning?"

Spock deftly removed the offending underwear and tossed them over his shoulder. He slid and arm around her waist and shifted so that she was lying under him.

"A more appropriate query, lieutenant," he said in voice that made her shiver, "which I predict you will pose in approximately twenty-two point thirty-seven minutes, would be 'What, exactly, has gotten in you?'."

Uhura shook her head slightly, feeling a bit confused. Spock sounded almost… arrogant.

He pulled her up to a sitting position and reached for the hem of her sleep shirt.

"This, I believe is another unnecessary barrier," he said, then yanked the garment over her head and sent it flying.

Now she felt really confused.

"Uh, Spock…" She scooted back from him a little. "You're acting kind of – "

"Amorous?" he interrupted, following her and nipping at her neck. "Perhaps even… lusty?"

He leaned back and leered.

Before her disbelieving eyes, Spock's eyelids slid halfway down as his lips slid all the way up into a decidedly lusty grin.

Uhura's blood ran cold. What the hell? she thought.

"Kirk!" she growled in answer to her own question, and leapt off the bed.

Gathering her fallen panties and nightshirt, she stormed over the desk and snatched up her communicator. She stabbed at a button as she yanked on the white cotton briefs single-handedly.

"Kirk!" she yelled. "Get your ass over here, right now!"

She dropped the communicator back on the desk. Turning towards the bed where Spock still grinned lazily, sexily – oh god, whatever! – she flung her sleep shirt over her head.

"You! Stay there!" she ordered the half-Vulcan.

She turned her back on him and marched across the room and through a common to the small foyer that blocked the doorway from view. The chimes sounded before she was halfway there. She stormed the rest of the way over.

The doors slid open to reveal a worried Jim Kirk.

"Uhura," he said breathlessly, trying to move past her. "What's going on? What's wrong?"

The concern on his face turned to confusion when she refused to stand aside.

"What the hell, Uhura?" he demanded, hands on hips. "You call me on emergency channels, screaming for my assistance, and now you won't even let me in the room?"

Uhura folded her own arms across her chest.

"I think I've had just about enough of your 'assistance' this morning," she told him.

"What the hell did you do to Spock?"

Kirk's mouth fell open to protest, but within seconds, he was fighting off a guilty smirk. Rather unsuccessfully.

"Nothing," he said, finally giving up the struggle. He leaned against the door jam. "You can't blame me for this one."

Uhura didn't bat an eye.

"Then who the hell am I supposed to blame?" she spat. "And what, exactly am I supposed to blame them for?"

Now Kirk looked guilty without the smirk.

"Um, we-ell," he hedged, "that would sort of be, uh, Chekov and Bones and, um, maybe a little bit... me."

"What. Did. You. Do?" she demanded through clenched teeth.

She was pretty sure her fiery glare should have burnt Kirk to a crisp by now, and didn't really think she would care if he started to get a little smoky. Expect, maybe, the spontaneous combustion could wait until he answered the damned question!

Obviously reading her mind, or coming close to doing so, Kirk stepped forward a little, his hands held up palms out in apology.

"Hey, it's not what you think," he told her. "Chekov didn't get to help with… well he didn't get to help Spock with something the rest of us – anyway! He was feeling left out and he wanted to do something for Spock. And for you! You, too. So he had this idea and he talked to Bones, and Bones figured out a way to do it, and… and I guess you've seen the results. And don't like it?"

Spock started singing from the bedroom.

If Uhura's glare could get any hotter, it did. Her teeth remained clenched.

"What. Did. You. Do?"

"We gave him an inhibitions inhibitor," Kirk admitted, sinking back against the door frame.

"You gave him a…? What the hell is an 'inhibitions inhibitor?'" she asked, her arms falling to her sides and her glare softening about an iota.

Spock's voice got louder.

Kirk's grin was back instantaneously. Looking (and, no doubt, feeling) pretty smug, he folded his arms across his chest.

"Don't get your knickers in twist," he said, ogling everything her tiny sleep shirt didn't cover. "That's if you're wearing any knic–"

"Kirk!"

He held up placating hands again. The grin was back, though.

"Okay! Okay. It's just a little something synthesized from chocolate and, uh, aphrodisiacs," he said. "We thought you'd like the results. We thought you'd really like the results. It was more a gift for you than Spock. I think."

She sighed and shook her head.

"You three idiots thought it was a good idea to give Spock chocolate and aphrodisiacs, two days before we have to head out to Africa to get ready for our wedding? And Len agreed?"

Kirk tried to look sheepish. He failed.

"Well," he admitted, "he said it wouldn't hurt. And, technically, it was three days. We gave it to him as a sort of stag night gift. Sort of. But he totally knew what it was and what it was supposed to do. He didn't have to save it for this morning. Like it's our fault the guy is faithful to you!"

"…and you want my body," came Spock's voice from behind Uhura, "come on baby let me kno-ow!"

Kirk choked back laughter.

"This isn't funny, Jim!"

Spock sang louder. "Nyota wants my body. 'Cause she thinks I'm sexy… "

Kirk doubled over, unable to hold back any longer.

"Seriously, Nyota," he managed after gaining a modicum of control. "Seriously, it won't hurt him, and it'll wear off in a few hours. I think you should just enjoy it while you can."

"Enjoy it? You turned my fiancé into a leering lounge lothario and you expect me to enjoy it?"

A small black piece of fabric landed on her head. Uhura frowned at Kirk again, and swiped Spock's boxers from her face.

"Oh god!" she hissed when she realized what she was holding.

"That is what you will be saying very soon, Nyota," Spock called out. His Vulcan hearing was apparently sufficient to follow the conversation even from the bedroom. Even over his own, surprising good, if corny, singing. "You will be saying it over and over as soon as you bring that sexy body back where it belongs!"

Uhura glanced back towards the bedroom, then back at Kirk.

"You'll pay for this one day," she promised her captain.

Kirk grinned.

"I think you'd better get back in there, before lover-boy wakes up the rest of the hotel, lieutenant," he informed her.

He pushed away from the door frame and started to turn away. Then he stopped and reached into his pocket.

"Oh, and Nyota…" he said pulling a small foil-wrapped object from his pocket. "We made one for you, too."

Uhura snatched the sex candy from his hand just before the doors closed in Kirk's face.

He remained standing in front of the door until a series of loud thumps and a muffled "Oh god!" convinced him it was time to head back to his own room. He whistled the entire way.

A/N:

Yes, I know this was an odd transition from the last chapter, but I did promise more funny. Not sure this meets that promise, but it was funny in my head.

If you want to take a stab at writing what goes on behind Spock and Nyota's door, let me kno-ow.

OR

The big kids can tune in to Foxy Spocky.