A/N: these three chapters seem short, but i hope they get longer. i don't know whether to go into more detail or less, and i would love some feedback, so R&R, please. suggestions, scrutiny, i need it all. Other than that, enjoy.

To start off our year of Head's duties, we had to herd children into carriages and boats. The first years looked so small and scared as they went off in their little boats. We broke up a few fights and guided everyone into the carriages. As they all jumped onto the carriages, i noticed the thestrals. i had seen death. i wondered how many other students could see them now, too. They were another reminder of my horrible year and gravely Malfoy and I looked at them.

"Last year was just awful," I said quietly, almost to quiet for him to hear. I wasn't sure if this topic was out of bounds, or if it was alright to talk about.

'It was. I can't imagine what it must have been like to be on your side, though. We hunted you down like mad. Especially you." He looked at me carefully, "A mudblood running about with Harry Potter. Pretty big target to wear on your forehead."

I nodded, excusing the slur. It didn't apply here, it was meant to signify the prejudices. They were in the past, now. I studied him. He looked back at me. A thestral stamped impatiently, and we realized that we need to go, now. Everyone had gone. we had stood in silence for a while, just looking at the ominous creatures. We climbed into the carriage and continued the conversation.

"You're different now. You don't insult me, you treat me like a human," I said hesitantly, after rolling the phrase over in my mouth, wondering if I should say it or not.

A smile played at his lips, but didn't reach his eyes. "My parents are gone for good. I don't have to live up to their expectations. Every Death Eater is killed, or in Azkaban. Another word for death, really, that place."

"I don't feel sorry for them," I said nastily. He looked at me intensely, but did not reply. We both knew that I had every right to hate them, but my outburst seemed harsh, even to me. Dementors are no joke. "I-I mean, you have to admit that they deserved to be punished severely, forever. It was awful to go through. I mean, really terrible." I rubbed my scars, a ghost of a tingly feeling physically manifested the scene running through my head. Our capture, my torture. It all happened in his house. I felt dirty, sitting next to the son of such a vile monster, but forced myself to be open minded. He was nodding in agreement. He had changes, McGonagall was right.

"Let's change the subject, this is depressing. Qudditch-weather-school-politics-qudditch," I said all in a row, very fast, to add some levity.

"I'm starving," he said, "and I'm afraid I'll have to revert to the dark side if there isn't any chicken. I'm quite looking forward to the steak-and-kidney pie, also."

I laughed, "Yea, I might join you if the potatoes are missing. If McGonagall doesn't feed us, I swear I'll just let the students run amuck."

"Well, thats quite the threat. i sincerely hope there are potatoes," he said.

The rest of the ride was spent joking and trying to keep our minds off of the past. the way we were acting now, it seemed as though this year would be quite enjoyable, even if Ferret was my constant companion. He was pleasant enough to talk to, and seemed intent on changing our opinions of each other.

Finally, the ride ended and we ran into the great hall. We decided to not even try to sneak into the hall, and decided that a dramatic entrance was best. Luckily, McGonagall hadn't started her speech before we entered. We pushed the doors open and strode dramatically to our spots at the head of our tables. We settled ourselves in, and tried to look proper. McGonagall rose the moment we took our seats and began her speech. She assured us that Hogwarts was safe again. Even safer, as certain other loopholes in security had been attended to. She introduced us as heads, and laid down the ground rules for the first years that had just been sorted. I realized how late we were, and how much trouble we would be in. but I figured we could just explain that we got caught up in a conversation and she would be grateful that we were getting along.

As soon as the food arrived, I left the head of the table and sat down next to Ginny and everyone. Harry grinned at me, and pumpkin juice dribbled from Ron's mouth. I giggled at the typicality of the reception. it seemed nice, innocent to be back, learning, being a student, being a child. Not on the run from dark wizards or any of that. we were safe, and life went on. for some of us.

"eyr er oo?" Ron asked. I took the clumsy syllables to mean 'where were you?' and answered appropriately. I launched into a somewhat detailed account of the train ride and his new personality, leaving out the sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll summer story I had told. Somehow, I figured that they wouldn't be so open minded about that. Harry looked almost offended that Malfoy would dare bring up last year. Everyone looked upset when I brought it up, and the rest of dinner was spent in solemnity. Even Ron pushed his plate away and looked sad. It was hard to think about, everything was so fresh. I wanted to run away to the dorm and see it. I wanted to go outside, get some fresh air, take a walk, and smoke a fag. I excused myself and went to find the head boy, so we could get our scolding from the headmistress over with.

I stood, and walked to his seat. A few slytherins leered at me from around him. He looked hostile, and I suddenly remembered I was in enemy territory. I needed to tread lightly.

"Hey, mudblood," said one.

"How may I serve you, my liege," said another.

"You can serve me by pissing off, I need to talk to the head boy," I retorted. so much for treading lightly. i forgot how much this house sucked. As they cackled, Malfoy stood. He looked at them fiercely, and their expressions flickered. I observed the group as they tried to understand why their prince didn't back them up. They didn't get it. Malfoy looked at me, nodded, and as he brushed past me, I turned and followed him. We walked up to Minerva McGonagall. As we walked, I told him the game plan.

"The headmistress looks pissed to me, so I want to get this over with so I can go outside and smoke a fag. So we're going to apologize for being late and… I dunno, go from there I guess. Tell her the truth about what we were doing, no point in lying. She'll probably appreciate our 'bonding session'" I laughed off the last two words so he wouldn't read into it.

"sounds good to me, I figured we were in for something. " He said, 'wait- you smoke? Smoking will kill you, you know. It's a nasty habit."

"Sod off, mother, I don't want our boss to hear you," indeed, we were t minus 10 steps away from McGonagall and counting.

"Judgment day," Malfoy quipped. We approached her. She eyed us reproachfully, and I hesitated. I took a breath and spoke.

"I'm so sorry we were late, I just got distracted by the thestrals, and we started talking, and we were kind of… reminiscing, I guess," I stated lamely.

"It won't happen again, I promise. We will save our conversations for when we are off duty,' Malfoy said. Somehow he sounded more confident. I was jealous of his demeanor.

"If you were any later I would be very upset." McGonagall said sternly. "I won't accept your being late at all. But in this case, the students had all taken their seats seconds before you walked in, so I accept your apology and I'll let you off with a warning."

I breathed a sigh of relief and we turned to go.

"Malfoy!" Her sharp call stopped us in our tracks. "I'll hold you to what you said. Do not let it happen again. You can both go now. I'll show you to your dormitories in 20 minutes. Meet me here. Don't be late."

Her last words had a distinct message to them, and so I picked up my steps and rushed out into the cool night air. I put my iPod in and lit up. The bitter taste and heat matched my mood, matched my personality. I felt bitter since the battle. I had lost so many people, so many people were gone. I felt bitter. It was barely a victory when we had lost so many.

As I took one last drag and stamped it out, something came over my head. I grabbed my wand with fumbling hands, someone else was reaching for it as well. I felt a punch in my face, two. I was blind, I couldn't defend myself. I grasped my wand tightly, but said no magic. I stabbed and punched back, hitting air.

"PROTEGO!" I shouted and a cry rang out. A blow to the gut landed me on the ground, more blows to the head came, and my head went foggy.

"protego," came a faint cry, but I heard nothing else.