6.

Disclaimer: All characters and general concepts are property of Renaissance Pictures and StudiosUSA. No copyright infringement intended. Thanks for being patient with me these two years, everyone!

He looked green. He was sure of it.

It was all because of that fucking hangover he had the first time he was mortal. It conditioned him somehow and now he was fucking green every time he got on a ship. He groaned and stretched out a hand beseechingly.

"Will you cry for me at my funeral?" he croaked.

Xena gave him a flat, unamused stare. "You've been whining for the last two hours."

Ares faked a sob. "Add insult to injury, why don't you."

Xena sighed, reached out, grabbed his arm, and dug her fingertips into his wrist harshly.

He yelped and sat up. "What was that for?" He blinked in surprise and ran a hand over his gut. "Hey!" he said. "I'm not spewing chunks!"

She waved a hand tiredly at him and reached out to check that the wheel remained sturdily lashed.

"You mean you could have done this all along and you just watched me suffer?"

"I didn't know, either." Xena shrugged. "Muscle memory or something."

"Must be because of Gabrielle." Ares said. "Blondie never looked like she had great sea legs."

"I wouldn't know."

Ares covered his face and moaned into his hands. She'd been like this for days, and he'd been acting as chipper and brainless as he could, given the sea-sickness, but enough was enough. "What are you so down for? You kicked Hrothgar's ass! Where's the celebration?"

"I'm not in the mood."

"You haven't looked at me like you see me for days," he said quietly.

That got a smirk. "Are you feeling insecure?"

He glared at her. "You think I'm a woman or something?"

"You're sure acting like one."

Ares scoffed. She was finally smiling, at least.

"I'm sorry," Xena said after a moment. "There's just… something big coming. I can feel it."

He shook his head. "Now you're being insecure. What could it possibly be that we can't handle?"

"I wish I shared your optimism."

"I don't need any damn optimism."

She laughed. "I wish I shared your ego, then."

Ares smiled and tilted his head down to look at her.

"What?" she said.

"You've changed a lot since you were stuck in that castle."

"Good."

She looked at him like she was trying to puzzle something out for a moment before her eyes dropped to scan over his entire body, and Ares grinned, making sure to flex a bit and stick out his chest.

She snorted. "Peacock."

"But a sexy peacock." He waggled his brows exaggeratedly.

She laughed until tears beaded at the corners of her eyes, shook her head, and said "Come here."

A moment later she choked and told him to go rinse his mouth.

Ares felt fingers threading through his hair when he woke. Keeping his eyes closed, he all but purred and leaned into Xena's hand. The blankets draped over them were much softer than what he'd been used to, and he stretched, feeling them slide smoothly over his bare skin. There was a shock of cold air when they suddenly lifted, and he snapped his eyes open.

Xena was on top of him, looking very amused as she propped herself up on her arms and looked down at him.

"Cold!" he growled, grabbing her around the waist and flipping them over so that he was pinning her down with a leg and half his torso. The warm cocoon reformed, and he tucked his chin over her head and closed his eyes again.

She wriggled free with a laugh, and he whined "What?"

"You're such a baby," she said.

"I'm still sleepy."

"Oh?" She placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth. "I'm not," she said, and the kisses trailed down his jaw and throat. He tilted his head back, a pleased rumble in his chest.

Suddenly he jumped. It felt like she'd just pressed a piece of ice against his stomach. He looked at her with a frown. "Your hands are freezing," he complained.

"Better warm them up, then."

She reached further down, and he hissed. Maybe it wasn't that cold, after all.

Later, when his heart had stopped racing, he heard her say "What's this?"

He pried an eye open. "Oh, that."

Xena was holding a tiny metal sword. "Didn't you use to wear this in your ear?" she asked.

"Yeah, it broke a couple of weeks ago." He had a plain stud in his left earlobe now. "Keep it if you want it."

"Why would I want your cast offs?" she teased. "We're almost there, though."

"Gabrielle's here?"

"Yeah."

Ares reached for his clothes.

It was a wall of fire. It was actually a wall of fire. He'd thought Beowulf was kidding about that. Maybe being metaphorical in that tragic hero way or something, but it was an actual wall of fire.

"She's in there?" he said.

"Yes," replied a voice behind them.

Ares sighed as he turned. "You get kicks out of sneaking up on people with your powers, Odin?"

Odin mimed a laugh and drew his sword with a sneer.

"You know," Ares said, "if you keep twisting your face like that, it'll get stuck ugly. Oh wait. Too late." Odin didn't look impressed, and Ares saw Xena roll her eyes beside him. "What, I thought it was funny."

The blonde valkyrie with the sour face lost patience and rushed at Xena, her sword raised above her head. Xena stepped forward and to the side, never taking her eyes off Odin, and slammed her fist into the valkyrie's throat. The valkyrie fell back, clutching her neck and retching.

"You did that to show off." Ares said.

Xena shrugged, a small smile playing at her lips.

"Can you do it twenty more times?" he asked

Xena glanced at him and said, "Bring it."

She moved like it was some sort of dance, he thought. She smacked a redhead in the face, stole her sword with a quick kick, and met the next valkyrie with a resounding clang. He swung around, slashed at a valkyrie's legs with his sword while her weapon sliced over his head, and crashed her into a tree with the butt of his blade while she was off balance.

Xena had lost her sword at some point, he noticed, and there was a scratch on her cheek. He caught her eye, and she nodded, reached out and grabbed his arms just before he began spinning. She swung her legs out like maces with impressive timing and sent a least a few valkyries flying. There was a yell behind him when he let Xena down, and Ares turned, shot off a quick parry, and sank his sword into Odin's gut.

Odin bellowed again, grabbed Ares' sword by the blade even as it sank deeper into his body, and snarled in his face. "I'm a god, you moron!" He sent a punch at Ares' face with the other hand.

"Ares!"

"Go!" he yelled, struggling to disengage from Odin. "Go get Gabrielle!"

"I can't just—"

"Go!"

He saw her leap through the flames out of the corner of his eye, and Odin reached out with a dagger to stab the other eye. He let go of his sword and tumbled back, feeling the wind of the passing blade against his face. Fuck that was close. Ok. Weaponless. Now what?

Odin yanked the sword out of his body and heaved it into the forest. Double fuck. Ares felt like a monkey, dancing around Odin's attacks while keeping an eye out for any valkyries that looked like they were about to stir. A twig whipped him about the temple when he stumbled. He shook the stars out of his vision and rolled desperately seconds before Odin's sword thudded into the ground where he'd been lying. What was taking her so long? Were they having a joint flashback or some sappy crap like that?

He didn't see the root until too late, and his head thunked into a blackened tree solidly. Oh gods, his body wouldn't move…

The ringing in his ears turned into the sharp trill of a warcry, and he heard a whoosh go by just in front of his face.

It sounded like the chakram, he thought dazedly.

When no more pain was immediately forthcoming, he managed to pry an eye open despite the pounding in his skull.

Xena was standing in front of him, chakram held at the ready in one hand, supple brown leathers fluttering slightly in the wind. "—Slayer of Gods," she was saying. "Ring a bell?"

The look on Odin's face before he fled would keep him warm on many a cold night, Ares decided, slipping his eyes closed. Before he could relax, a hand slapped him in the face, and his eyes snapped open again.

"Hey," Xena said. She waved in his face. "How many fingers?"

"Too many," he groaned. "Stop fluttering like that. I'm getting sea-sick."

She laughed. "I think you'll be fine." She reached out and pulled him to his feet.

Ares trudged along a dirt road near Amphipolis. This walking thing still sucked as much now as it did when he first lost his godhood. He kicked a pebble viciously.

She'd left him.

He could still remember her, standing in front of him, telling him that she had something she had to do alone, her hand holding Gabrielle's so tightly that it looked like she was never going to let go. The kicker, though, was that Gabrielle had to nerve to smile at him sympathetically. The God of War is not pathetic.

And so here he was, hiking around Thrace with rocks in his boots and some dinky little man wearing what he obviously thought was armour just stepped onto the road to block his way while waving a sword around like a fly swatter. He was just about to make dinky little man paste when the girls appeared out of what seemed to be nowhere.

Xena ran off Dead Pikki or whatever his name was, and she turned and gave him a slow smile. His heart thudded against his ribcage painfully. He tried to find something to say, but gave up when he realized his mouth wasn't doing anything but working dumbly.

That's when she tilted her head and said, "How's it look?"

It took him a moment to figure out she meant the little sword dangling from her ear.

"Good," he said, after a while. "It looks good on you."

Gabrielle snickered, and he could feel the heat rising up his face.

"I see you have a lot to talk about," Gabrielle said, and he could hear the smirk in her voice. "Why don't I go on ahead, find us an inn, and you guys can catch up?" She didn't seem to wait for an answer, and Ares wasn't sure he had one to give.

"Xena?" he said finally, after Gabrielle disappeared from view.

Xena stepped forward and tilted her head until she brushed her lips over his. "Yes, hero?"

Her eyes glowed blue in the afternoon sun.

"Who are you calling a hero?"

END