I do not claim to own the rights to Samurai Champloo, nor any of the characters thereof. This is work of fiction written for the purposes of entertainment.

Samurai Noir

by Noah Heinrich

Chapter 2

Some Days, Some Nights

My name is Manzo, known in some circles as Manzo the Saw. Some have claimed that my nickname refers to my snoring, but I know as a matter of absolute fact that I have never snored a day in my life. I sleep lightly, with my jitte in hand, because I never know when a criminal I've brought to justice will come seeking revenge. It is for that reason that I have never been married. It's true.

Rumor in Tobira had it that the three who came from Ikitsuki left after a few days, taking the road to the North. With a word of thanks to the inn-keeper, I took my leave of the little fishing village for good. I wish I could say that the soles of my feet had gotten used to all of this walking, but then I'd be a liar, and if there's one thing I'm not, it's a liar.

I followed the road Northwards for several miles, passing by few people: a man in a palanquin, a messenger, a patrol of soldiers, a woman and a young child who was complaining of a stomach-ache. I tried not to let my irritation show, because children are the other reason I never decided to get married. It's true.

However, that road is also where I ran into my first, and most insidious snag. The road forked into three parts; one that followed the coast, one that led East, and another that went Southeast. I stood at the crossroads, pondering, for what felt like quite a while. If I were a murderer, where would I go? The safest place for a criminal is in the countryside, but many criminals don't do that, preferring to hide in the cities, where they could be among their element. The first road would probably lead to a dock of some kind, which could only go to Honshu; from there, they could go anywhere, but the closest big city is Hiroshima. To the East was Oita, and to the Southwest, there was nothing to speak of.

If the assassin was smart, she'd head Southeast, where nobody would think to look, but experience told me that she'd most likely head towards Hiroshima, where she could then head anywhere else in the country.

"Yo!"

My reverie was interrupted by a trio of woodcutters, each carrying their tools over there shoulders. They walked in unison, and spoke in an odd and yet compelling rhythm. "Hey, did any of you see a woman dressed in pink around here?"

"A honey wearin' pink?"

"Sure we've seen her."

"Runnin' down the road, with a squirrel and a piece."

"Ok…" These three young men were quite clearly deranged. "Well, which way did you see her go?"

"Her posse breezed past…"

"The place you were last…"

"There!"

They all pointed back the way I had come. "Yes, I know that's where she was, I need to know where she's going."

"Hey, don't blame us, we're just a hella sweet team-a…"

"From Hokkaido all the way to Hiroshima!"

"Check it!"

With that, they shimmied off down the road. "Wait! Did you say Hiroshima?" But they had already left. I stopped to think. It wasn't much of a lead, but it was the best I had at the time.

Hiroshima…

Come to think of it, that is where any sensible assassin would flee. I immediately headed Southeast.

The boat ride to Honshu went as expected; I lost control of my fortitude, and lost my lunch on a local magistrate. I lost six precious hours assuring him that I would eventually repay him for his kimono. Officials: corrupt and decadent, the lot of them. A little digested onigiri was the least of what he deserved.

The road to Hiroshima from the coast was crowded with travellers, merchants, and a generous sprinkling of local toughs. They were burly and ungroomed, carrying themselves like roosters, chest first. I didn't give any the satisfaction of starting a fight with me. I had to be subtle, in case the woman in pink was hiding somewhere in this crowd.

Just then, I saw a silhouette in the woods to the side of the road. "Hey! You!" I roared and gave chase, as the figure flitted into the trees. I'm not entirely sure how I knew to pursue this individual, but I've stayed alive long enough to know that my instincts are correct at least two times out of five.

Along with injustice, boats and children, I forgot to mention my long and abiding hatred of trees. All they do is stand there, blocking the view of more important things. As I learned that day, they can also scratch, trip and get in your way during a protracted chase. Better to chop them all down and turn them into useful objects, like fences and clubs.

After some time, the mysterious man stopped, at the base of an especially tall and thick tree, covered with moss, like an unshaved neck. I really do hate trees, but as ugly as they are, they had nothing on this man.

He was covered with burns, bad ones that had only half-healed. I had once seen a man being rescued from a burning house; he had a perpetual bald spot from where his hair had caught fire. This man had no hair at all, and no eyebrows either.

"What do you want?" he asked, as if I were the guilty party here. I pointed my jitte at him, hopefully to put the fear of god into him. Something about his eyes was unnerving. Looking into them was like staring down a bottomless well, in which unknown beasts lurked.

"You will tell me everything you know about 'Divine Hand' Kariya!"

That seemed to catch his attention. "You know of him? Of what he has done?"

"I know he is, and you do too. Come here, I'm taking you into custody!"

"I have committed no crime…"

"You clearly know something about the death of Kariya, that's enough for me."

A spark of recognition flashed across his face, or what was left of it. "He's dead? Damn…" He looked into my eyes, and I am ashamed to admit that I looked away. "You seem like an honest man, so I will tell you. If you want to know the secret of Kariya, find Lady Hotaru, in town. If anybody knows of how he died, it is her." With that, he turned around.

"Wait!"

He looked at me again with those eyes. "I cannot stop. Not yet. Not until I find the source…" And then he vanished into the trees. Did I mention how much I hate trees? I also hate overly cryptic clues from shadowy strangers; they happen more often than you think, and they're a pain in the ass. The shadowy stranger had said that this "Lady Hotaru" would know about Kariya's death; as far as I knew, there were at most three witnesses to Kariya's death, one of them a woman. Lady Hotaru was clearly a pseudonym, and who is more likely to use such a dramatic name than an assassin? With that solved, I went looking for the road.

Three hours later, and I was out of the damned woods, and four hours later I was on the outskirts of Hiroshima, where I spent the next two hours trying to find something out about this Lady Hotaru, which didn't prove that diffficult of a task. Hotaru was quite well known amongst the criminal element of Hirshima, and was, according to the people I questioned in the bars and brothels of the city, a very formidable woman. She apparently had a hand in much of the city's illicit smuggling, (I cursed myself for not looking for smugglers back in Kyushu), and was, most intriguingly, known to have personally fought off several assassination attempts. So, this Lady Hotaru was a powerful warrior in spite of her gender, and had a hand in smuggling illicit. It all made perfect sense; Lady Hotaru's crime racket attracts the attention of the wrong people, who hire the greatest swordsman ever to eliminate her. She flees to Ikitsuki, where Kariya catches up with her. There, they duel, and Hotaru, somehow, vanquishes him. I would have arrested her then and there, had I had any solid proof; proof, yet another unneccesary obstacle in the pursuit of justice.

For the price of several meals, I managed to buy where Lady Hotaru would be that evening; she would be leaving her home to head to the residence of a certain person in the rich district. Who that person was, was unimportant, in the face of my plan. It was simple; when Hotaru passed the tea house I was staying in, which was directly on the way to this house, I would ambush her and force a confession out of her, at which point I would then arrest her. Was I worried about fighting the woman who bested the Divine Hand? Only slightly; it would be dark, I had the element of surprise, and besides, whatever else she was, she was a woman. She would no doubt surrender upon being threatened by a man so strong and masculine as myself.

Time passed, night fell. I admit that I had been feeling more than a little drowsy. What kind of woman goes to a rich man's house in the middle of the night anyway? However, my dilligence paid off. Through a crack in the door, I saw a glimpse of pink silk. I had her! The murderess in pink was about to be apprehended by Manzo the Saw. I drew my jitte, and opened the door, sprinting at the assassin, Lady Hotaru. I was so close—and then her heavy wooden sandal made contact with the side of my head.

The world spun in several directions as once as I toppled to the ground. Looking up, I got my first real look at this Lady Hotaru. The pink silk I saw was attatched to a pink kimono, which was draped around the body… the impressive body of Lady Hotaru. She was tall—very, very tall, and wore the make-up of a courtesan. She was… beautiful. Manzo the Saw had never fallen in love, and never will, but had I fallen in love with Lady Hotaru, which I certainly did not, than I would not be able to stop thinking about her to this very day…

I wasn't thinking very much at the time however, due to the slight concussion that I had just received. "Lady Hotaru?" I mumbled. She looked down at me with what was either pity or disdain, I was not sure which. Or if she was looking down, or up.

"You're that inspector who's been asking around about me?" she said, her voice dripping with what was either irony, or sarcasm.

I managed to get to my feet, still gripping my jitte, which I pointed at her. "You… are to answer for the murder of Kariya Kagetoki, also known as the Divine Hand." I think it was at that point that I swung my jitte at her.

Did you know that women often carry iron fans? I did not know that. I also did not know that they hurt when jabbed into your solar plexus. They do. A lot.

As I lay helpless on the ground I cursed my stupidity, but not aloud. Instead, I said, "As expected of the woman who bested the Divine Hand…"

I had not expected Lady Hotaru to laugh, but laugh she did, and quite musically too. It was a high, flute like laugh, the kind one expects to hear at important functions, by elegant and important people. She looked down at me with infuriating smugness. "You really are a tenacious man, aren't you?"

"You'd better believe it…"

She laughed again. That terrible, beautiful laugh! "I like you, detective, so instead of crushing your windpipe right here…" at that point her sandal was on my throat, "I'll give you a hint: the reason Kariya went to Ikitsuki was to finish the Shimabara Rebellion once and for all."

"What does that mean?" That's what I would have said had I been able to breathe.

"Goodbye detective," she said as she walked away. "Next time you're in Hiroshima, you might want to ask before assaulting me. Though it might cost you extra."

I can honestly say that at that moment, when I was prone, in the dirt, in some alleyway in Hiroshima, that was when I was at my happiest of my life. For it was at that moment in which I had, briefly, seen up Lady Hotaru's kimono. However, her clue was not helpful in the slightest.