Paradise Within…Happier Far

Chapter 4

She tried to show me how to love
I bit her lips and bruised her arms
No I hadn't learned Tenderness

She asked, "What does love mean to you?"
I grabbed her hair and pulled her down
I looked in her eyes and I laughed

The love I feel is hard and fast
It's for a face and for one night
I don't need to own anyone

She said, she said, "All your women burn in your flame
But as it dies, as it dies, they'll leave you and seek revenge."

She laughed and said, "You'll go through hell
You'll live in lonely rooms I know
And watch for my love's Tenderness"

Oh I went from her to someone else
And someone else mmmm
Oh I couldn't feel satisfied

I wish that I could find her now
My love is soft, my love is warm
I'd take her to bed tenderly
Oh I'd take her to bed tenderly
Yes I'd take her to bed tenderly.

Tenderness, Steppenwolf

Eric walked up the steps and through the screen door. He wasn't sure if Sookie knew what she had just done by inviting him in but he would be sure and tell her. She had her back to him as if to make for one of the back rooms.

"Make yourself at home. I wasn't expecting company, so I'll go change."

"Wear something that is good for a walk tonight."

Sookie turned and looked over her shoulder, watching him curiously. She then said, "There is True Blood in the fridge if you want some."

Eric's voice was deep and lazy sounding. "I have fed before coming." He sounded very matter-of-fact which stopped Sookie in her tracks.

She turned to stare at him. He could tell by the flush of her face and the increase in her heart rate he had said something she did not like. Her brown eyes stared coldly into his open, even warm black eyes. She took in his flushed skin, and how very human he looked at that moment. Without saying a word, she turned and left the room. Oops! He suspected he would be talking more about this subject later that night.

While she changed he closed and locked all the windows taking in the condition of the screens (poor) and closed and locked all the doors (weather beaten and weakened from age). There were screen doors on all the outside doors, and just thumb locks on the doorknobs, not a deadbolt to be seen except on the front door. That left two other doors without, which made them all useless. He would definitely be arranging for a top notch security system to be installed immediately, and for day and nighttime guards to hide in the woods to watch over Sookie. Nothing could be allowed to happen to her. He imagined that, like the issue of feeding, she was not going to like the idea of security any better.

Sookie returned into the room silently, noticing the windows and doors closed. Eric took in her white short tank top with her white lacey bra cup just showing above the low neckline. She had on low-rise blue jeans and white Keds. Her hair was brushed shiny and fell loose around her shoulders. As she watched him appraise her, she raised her eyebrows at his way of 'making himself at home.' "The windows and doors were open to keep this place from becoming an oven, there is no air conditioner." Her voice was positively chilling.

"Sookie, there is a madman who is killing women who allegedly have some association with vampires. That makes you a target. I will not have you in danger. These windows and screens are very old, the doorknobs could be broken by anyone without any special strength. This place is not secure. Tomorrow it will be." His voice had taken on a tone not to be argued with, but Sookie ignored it. This was her house, her Gran's house. She'd be damned if some arrogant vampire came in and started dictating to her about what to do.

"Before these murders, nothing ever happened in Bon Temps. NOTHING! What I have was perfectly fine. Maybe I can afford a few more deadbolts for the other doors, but I can't fix the windows, and the windows have to be open at night, or else the house is unbearable."

"Sookie, lover, nothing will ever be the same, not for you, not for Bon Temps. I will see to your security. I would feel much better if you would just come and stay with me at my home. But I suspect that is out of the question." Eric's tone held a hint of ironic humor.

"You are right, you arrogant bastard. I will not leave my home. I have the sense to be afraid of this murderer. Hell, they even think Jason did it, which is absurd since he is dumb as a doornail and could never have gotten away with it, nor would he have killed Gran under any circumstances. But this is my home, I grew up here, and I will not be run out of it by some psychopath."

"Good for you Sookie. I honor your courage. Now you honor me by allowing me to protect you when I am not around to do so. This is give and take."

Sookie stared at him, furious at the little trap he had maneuvered her into. "Fine. You can turn this house into a fortress if you think that is necessary. However, it needs to look the same. Windows are the same, doors are the same, whatever else goes into a security system. And I need to be able to sleep with the windows open." She stalked into the kitchen mumbling under her breath, while Eric followed her.

"As you wish, lover. And I can hear your mumbling. You are not a kept woman, nor would you ever be. I give this as a gift, nothing more. A kept woman is one who is kept in a lavish lifestyle as a man's mistress, usually when he is married to another. There is no direct connection between the man's paying for the lavish lifestyle and sexual favors. Since I am receiving no sexual favors from you, actually receiving nothing but a bad attitude about my intent to protect, and I am not married to another, and I am far from providing you a lavish lifestyle, the definition of a 'kept woman' would not apply." His voice was filled with painful sarcasm.

Sookie turned and looked at him, pain in her eyes. "I have been awful to you haven't I? You only want to protect me, when I so obviously need protection. I don't want to die, murdered and raped by this monster, and I am definitely a potential target. Thank you for your protection Eric. And living out here by myself, I will appreciate the security system."

"You are welcome, my lover. It is my primary purpose to guard and protect you now that I have found you. We are destined, lifemates if you will, and once bonded if something were to happen to you, I would weaken and die as well. As much as you may rebel against me, your protection I will not compromise on. I am willing to make many compromises, I will give you anything you want from me, but your safety I will never be able to compromise on."

Sookie sighed. Everything was becoming so complicated. Even so, unbidden she walked to Eric and put her arms around his hard waist and rested her head on his chest. Eric took in a breath at his surprise that she would approach him so, and carefully wrapped his arms around her waist as well, burying his head in her lavender scented golden halo of hair.

"Impossible as I know it to be, I wish you could be here with me all the time. Then I would feel really safe, Eric." Her voice was muffled into his shirt.

His hand softly raised to her hair, stroking the length of it. "I know baby, I know. Let us go walk now. I think a little silence is in order after our disagreement."

She laughed, her head still leaning into his, breathing in the scent of him, and finally broke away and silently led him through the doors to the outside.

The couple walked in silence listening to the sounds of the night. Eric taught her to hear the mice scurrying through the grass, the owls powerful wings swooping down to scoop it up and take it back to her nest. He helped her hear the deer moving and the trees swaying. "As we begin to exchange blood, your senses will begin to heighten as mine are. You will hear all of this without help. You will also be able to smell the scents of the woods and the things you cannot smell now."

"Let's talk about this blood exchange thing. You said you had come to me tonight having fed. Feeding and sex are tied together for a vampire. Does that mean you fed and had sex before coming here tonight? You just went to Fangtasia, picked up some random fangbanger, took her out behind the building," Sookie's voice was once again raising, breaking the whispered silence from before, "fed from her neck while fucking her hard against the wall of Walmart? Is that how it works? And then what, you either glamour her, or she goes back inside to brag about banging the great Eric Northman?"

"Wow Sookie! That is quite the imagination you have. There are two topics in this frustrated, jealous rage you just let go. First you mention the blood exchange. We will talk about that second. As for how I feed, how any vampire feeds, I will explain. Come sit here on this bench in the graveyard." Sookie sat beside Eric, not looking at him staring into space, with her arms wrapped tightly around her, her foot tapping furiously.

"When vampires are first made, they are voracious. Their master is responsible for teaching them to take blood without killing. Now that we are 'out' publically that is even more important than ever. As a vampire ages, they need less and less blood. I am very old, one of the very oldest of my kind. The original vampire was thought to have been birthed during the Egyptian age. Very few survived since then. One of the benefits of being very old is that I don't have to feed very often…even just once a week sometimes. If I am on a diet of True Blood, more feeding is required. I must feed more often if I am injured or in a battle. In the case of a battle, often blood lust overwhelms me and other vampires, and we will often kill indiscriminately. These days, it is paramount that we do not kill humans, or at least don't get caught doing it."

Eric continued quietly when Sookie didn't say anything. "I do not drink from fangbangers. They disgust me, as well as bore me with their groveling and sniveling need for attention. They also carry disease that is dangerous to vampires. I do have a few women who are exclusively mine to feed from. I have in the past also had sex with these women. They carry no disease and they are not fangbangers. They don't even hang out at the club." Sookie tensed and he could sense her heart rate speed up, although he couldn't see her face pale. "Sookie, look at me." She refused to move.

Eric gently took her face in his hands and pulled her face to his, so she was forced to look him in the eye. "Sookie, this was all before I met you. I will be honest with you. The first night after I met you, I tried to rid you from my system by having sex and blood, a lot of sex and blood. And I just could not do it. I wanted from you, not from these others who were there for me. You have not offered your blood to me and I will not take it until it is offered freely, but I still have to feed. Feeding from others means nothing more to me than eating a turkey sandwich means to you. I have not even tried to have sex. Sex without you is just a lonely flame that uses up whatever humanity I have left so I will wait for you, for your tenderness and for your love. I am simply not interested in anyone but you. I will wait until you are ready. I will not take what is not offered, and I will not betray you in the meantime. Sookie, do you understand what I am saying?"

Her eyes filled with tears as she listened to all that Eric was willing to give up to wait for her. Surprising both of them, she stood suddenly and swung a punch into his chest, hurting her hand but not even moving him.

"Damn you," she cried, tears sliding down her cheeks. "It would be so much easier to just walk away from you if you weren't so nice to me. No man has ever just been nice to me. Of course, I could always tell what they were thinking, and I can't with you, and maybe you are thinking all the shitty things they did too, but I can't tell and you say all the right things, and…" she paused to catch her breath, "I hate this."

Eric stood and circled Sookie in his strong arms. She fought him weakly at first and then just collapsed against him crying. "Eric, I am alone, and I am vulnerable. I couldn't bear it if everything you were saying weren't true and you had some other purpose behind what you've said to me. Please don't lie to me."

"I told you I would not lie to you ever, and I meant it. My life is an open book to you. I will tell you whatever you want to know, no matter what it is. I could have spared you the…sexual aspects that are a part of my life, but I felt you needed to understand what my life has been like and what it is like now."

"And what it will be like when we are together?" Sookie looked up at him, tears shining in her eyes. "What then?"

Eric laughed a happy laugh, one that sounded a little rusty to Sookie's ears. "Then my love, I will take you gently at first over and over again, and we shall explore everything, find everything we enjoy together. And we will share our blood. I have only shared my blood a few times, Pam being the last when I turned her. By sharing blood, you will not turn into a vampire automatically. There is a specific process for that. But you will drink some of my blood and I will drink some of yours. The more we share, the stronger the bond will be."

"And what is 'the bond?'" Sookie had taken his hand and was leading them back through the graveyard towards the gravel road.

"The bond allows us to feel each other, you will know where I am and I will know where you are. We will know what each is feeling. Sex will be intensified. Since we are of a rare coupling, there may be other aspects we don't know about but will find out."

Sookie suddenly stopped, watching an owl swooping in for another kill. She stopped so suddenly that Eric's momentum kept them moving and she almost fell while he caught her in his arms. She looked up at him surprised just as he was. They stood there looking into each other's eyes, surprise turning into something entirely different, the constant thrumming between them practically becoming its own sentient being it was so strong. Eric leaned down cautiously towards Sookie. They had already had two arguments that evening, and he was not sure how receptive she would be to his kiss. He needn't have worried. Sookie's lips parted slightly as Eric's approached hers. He gently met her softly parted lips and pressed lightly against her. She responded pulling his body and his lips closer to hers. His tongue reached out to stroke her responsive lips and they opened for him to enter her heated mouth. Soon both their tongues were stroking slowly, tasting, feeling the power between them. Sookie unconsciously pressed herself harder to Eric, feeling his hardness, easily matching her own wetness at the center of her core. Never leaving her mouth, his hands slid down her shirt to the skin between her tank top and blue jeans. His fingers lightly rubbed little circles on her firm skin, making her push against him again. She moaned into his mouth, which set him on fire. He knew things were becoming dangerous as his fangs extended their entire length. She did not seem afraid as she ran her tongue across the points, intentionally causing her tongue to bleed, letting her trickle of blood run down his throat. This time it was his turn to moan, sucking her tongue to pull more droplets of her blood to him. Her blood tasted different from human, something he had never had before and he never wanted to stop drinking from her small puncture marks.

Sookie pulled back herself, looking in wonder at Eric. "Is that how it always is to kiss like that? I'm mean that isn't my first kiss, but certainly my first where I couldn't hear every ugly thought. Is that how it should be, Eric?"

"Sookie, lover, that is much better than it ever is. That is a lover's kiss. And your blood…you were not afraid of my fangs, of cutting yourself on them?"

"I knew you wanted to taste me, now you have. Was it what you thought it would be?"

"It was more than I thought it would be. You taste like nothing, like no one, I have ever tasted before. I will have to be cautious when taking more than tiny tongue droplets. Your blood is addictive."

"As I suppose yours will be as well. Isn't that what my idiot brother is so addicted too? 'V?'"

"It will be special certainly, but as my blood will be freely given, it will be addicting but not in the way Jason uses it. Perhaps I should walk you home now."

"Are you sure, Eric?" Sookie was trying slightly to entice him to stay.

"If I am to honor my promises to you, I need to walk you home now." Eric said regretfully, but firmly.

The couple held hands quietly talking about nothing important while they headed back to her home. Suddenly Eric stopped, pulling Sookie behind him to protect her.

"I smell blood. Someone has been here." He scented the air, but smelled no humans nearby. "They are gone now. Stay close to me."

Sookie wasn't moving from his body if she could help it. She couldn't imagine whose blood he smelled, since there wasn't anyone around. Oh no, what if Jason had come around? But Jason should surely be able to take care of himself.

As she let them into the house, Eric followed the scent to the kitchen, where on the table was Tina, her cat, butchered with blood congealing over the sides of the table. Sookie threw up in the nearby trashcan while Eric roared his fury at his lover's home being violated, this time while she was under his protection.

TBC

A/N: The term lifemates is a nod to Christine Feehan's Carpathian series. There is a touch of idea from "Moonlight" with the idea of having a 'stable' of girls to feed off of, although without all the perks that Josef gave them in that TV show. If you like vampire tales, and are familiar with "Moonlight" or not (alas only one season on CBS last year) you can check out my story under TV/Moonlight/Crimson and Blood. Thanks again for reviews, alerts, and favorites. Remember to click the box. We will soon be leaving the books and moving into the realms of my imagination. Thanks for reading.