Woo! The last chapter! Finally! It's actually like midnight where I am and I have school tomorrow, so I typed it pretty fast. I hope it doesn't seem too rushed. It's sad, but since it's Nate's POV, it has some sarcasm too. At the end, I have a book recommendation that you would really enjoy! So please, start reading!
Disclaimer: I actually don't own Camp Rock. However, this story would make a great inspirational story, just not for Disney.
It's a bright, clear day. The sun is shining and the only clouds visible in the brilliant blue sky are the pretty white fluffy ones. You know, the kind you use to pretend were different animals or shapes when you were a kid. They lightly breeze by, as happy as a cloud can be, unaware of the depressing scene unfolding below. For at that moment, the clouds are floating above a cemetery where a funeral is taking place.
My funeral.
They carry my body in a mahogany casket, which I know to have white cushions inside. Mind you, I would have picked another wood, maybe even metal, which would be much more durable underground, but I wasn't around to make the decision. I never had the conversation of what casket I'd like with my parents. They never thought I'd die before them. I never thought I'd die before them. What I did, it was like an impulse, something that could have been avoided if I stopped and thought about it. I would have realized how stupid it is to kill yourself. It doesn't help anything, it just causes more pain.
From where I am, wherever it is, I have witnessed what has happened these pass couple of days. I've seen people blame me for a while, then blame themselves that they couldn't help me. They don't understand, though. I didn't want help. I just wanted to drown in my misery, to make myself seem like a victim for just a little bit longer.
But I waited too long.
I saw my parents find my body, something I was dreading. I saw Shane read my diary in despair. Most heartbreakingly, I saw Mitchie take the sleeping pills. I saw her freak out then fall asleep. I saw Shane rush in with paramedics. I saw it all.
They were almost too late, though. They're lucky I have a trick up my sleeve (metaphorically, of course, I don't even think I have a body anymore, just my thoughts.)
I kept her alive, kept her heart from stopping completely until they had pumped her stomach and all the other doctorly stuff they do. She was on the line, about to fall over the edge and join me forever, but I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I even saw her for a moment when they lost her in the ambulance.
'Mitchie,' I…think? I don't have lips, so I didn't say it.
'Nate?' Her thoughts are fused with confusion, sadness, and ,strangely, happiness.
'Mitchie, it's not your time. Go back, you have your whole life ahead of you,' I advise her.
'But I want to stay with you,' she argues.
'Mitchie, I'm really sorry, but you can't be here. I won't let you throw your life away like I did. I regret it now and wish I could turn back time, but I can't. Please go back, for me.'
'Okay…I love you, Nate, you know that, right?' she says (thinks?) with remorse.
'I know, I've been watching over you. Stay safe, and…I'm sorry'
And with that, Mitchie was pulled back to earth, revived but still not out of trouble. I fought for her so hard, and it all paid off.
My casket is placed in front of rows of chairs. They open the lid, and there I am. My hair is combed, the curls styled perfectly. How I wish I knew how to do that when I was alive. I am wearing my favorite suit, gray with a light green dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up to my elbows just how I like it. I got to give the mortician some props, I look pretty spiffy if I say so myself. Wow, did I just say spiffy? I've been dead for too long, it's rotting my brain. Sorry for my bad taste in jokes, just trying to lighten to mood at my funeral. How many people have you heard say that?
Everyone walks somberly to their seats. My parents, Shane, Mitchie, and our other friends Jason and Caitlyn sit in the front row. Though I saved her, Mitchie looks dead, her eyes sullen and the perpetual frown on her face. Shane has his arm around her, but not too tight because she actually broke up with him. He wasn't too angry, he actually thought it was for the better because he didn't want to live with the guilt of stealing his best bud's love.
The guy at the front starts talking, but I'm not listening. My ears (do I even have ears?) are tuned only to hear Mitchie. She lets out sighs every so often, but not out of boredom. On the contrary, she's trying not to break down. The man soon stops and both my parents go up. Usually, only one person is up there at a time, but my mom can't go anywhere without my father's support, so they both go up. My dad starts speaking, but I'm barely paying attention. I get the gist of it, though. I was a wonderful boy, the most respectful, intelligent young man they had ever known. I was meant to do great things, but my life was sadly interrupted.
The sad thing is, they don't even know why I did it. Shane never told anyone about my journal, not to protect himself from blame, but for my own privacy and for the sake of my parents. It's better to be in the dark than to know the truth, because the truth hurts.
They sit back down and Mitchie stands. I would sit up, if I had a body. She stands at the small podium there and looks into the crowd of people. All the people that loved and cared about me.
I was such an idiot.
"Nate was the most wonderful friend you could ask for," Mitchie starts. Her voice is quivering a bit, but she clears it quickly. "He always helped me up when I was down, and he was never selfish or self-centered. But there's one thing I need to say. One thing Nate was, was in love with me."
Gasps were heard among the people that knew that she was dating Shane.
"He told me, and I shot him down," she says numbly. "I wish I didn't, because now I realize I love him too." Her voice breaks and she looks at Shane. He looks slightly hurt, but he nods at her. "I tr-tried to end my life the day after he did. On the way to the hospital, they lost me for a second. In that second, I went somewhere, somewhere amazing. I spoke to Nate." Murmurs flew through the crowd, people both agreeing and disagreeing with her. "I don't care if you believe me or not, but I did talk to him. He told me not to go this way because I have a whole life to live. He said he was sorry and wished he never did it, but it was too late. He wanted me to live my life out for him, and I'm sure he wants all of you to do so too." Mitchie pauses, looking at every single person. "We shouldn't be mourning his death, we should be celebrating his life. He brought all of us together and he was an amazing person. I don't mean we should throw a party because he's…gone, but we should share memories we had with him, keeping him alive in our hearts. He may not physically be here, but I know he's watching over us." Mitchie smiles and looks up, presumably to me. Honestly, I don't know where I am. I can't tell my viewpoint, but I appreciate her gesture. Mitchie nods to everyone as she sits back down, my aunt taking her place.
Mitchie smiles at Shane and he smiles back.
"Well done," he whispers, leaning in towards her as my aunt keeps talking.
"I know that's what he would have wanted. You believe me, right?" she asks, slightly worried that she sounded like a crazy person up there.
"Definitely. If there's one person Nate would talk to, it would be you. I'm glad he gave you closure and you shared it with the rest of us."
Mitchie leans her head on his shoulder. "We all needed closure, they had to know why he did it and that he regrets it. As I learned, suicide is not the way to go. It doesn't help anything, it just causes more pain."
Exactly my words, Mitchie. Great minds think alike.
"You know, this is the one thing I'm glad you didn't succeed in," Shane mumbles in her hair.
"Me too, Shane. I just wish Nate didn't succeed either." They both look down solemnly.
Oh, how I wish that too. But you can't cry over spilled milk, it will get you nowhere. Just learn from your mistakes and teach others. I smile (without lips?) as I see Mitchie learn from this whole ordeal. Maybe I didn't die in vain. Though I could have avoided it, I didn't, but now everyone has learned a valuable lesson. Pay attention to behaviors of others, and help them even if they don't want it. Trust me, in the back of their minds, they want it so bad, but they don't show it. Though I would prefer to be on earth with my loved ones, I'm content now in watching over them, making sure no harm comes their way.
And there it is. I hope you liked the advise at the end. It didn't seem right without it. I loved it when I said doctorly. I just think it sounds funny, although it's a sad story.
So here's a book recommendation. If you like my story, you should totally read Th1rteen R3asons Why (or just Thirteen Reasons Why, I think with the numbers makes it look cooler.) Just so you know, I'm not being payed to advertise or something, lol. But really, this book is awesome. The style is kinda like mine but a billion times better. That's one way it's so good, it's simple and the character's thoughts cut straight to the chase. Also, I found the author, Jay Asher, goes off on tangents, just like me. Not that it's a bad thing. I finished this book within 24 hours of getting it, which I think is quite amazing considering it's almost 300 pages and it was during a school day. It was just that good. The amazing thing is one of the reviews struck me. Can you guess why? Here it is: "Readers of Jay Asher's debut novel for teens, Thirteen Reasons why should be forewarned- never has a page turner been so difficult to read. This may sound like a criticism, but in fact it's a compliment, for this story of a suicide's aftermath, and Asher's ability to convey the anguish of someone who was left behind is truly remarkable."When I read it (because I read everything in the book, from front to back), I was like "Whoa, that's my story title!" The book is basically the aftermath of a suicide, but the girl who killed herself has a unique way of telling the thirteen reasons why she did it. It's mostly her narration, also a boy who was one of the reasons. This totally reminded me of my stories of the series, How to Save a Life, Fades to Black, and this. I'm sorry this was so long, but I had to. This book has too much in common with my story for me not to tell you. Another amazing thing is this is Jay Asher's first book. He thanked his wife for believing in him that he would sell a book when he almost gave up in doubt. All I have to say is I can only hope to be as successful at writing as him and he's crazy for doubting his abilities. Unfortunately, I don't have the book anymore, but my memories are great! Also, Jay Asher has a brother named Nate! What a coincidence!
Whew! That was a long thing up there. But now this story is over. Just rememeber, suicide is not the answer. As I said many times before in the story, it doesn't help anything and, as disrespectful as it sounds, it's actually an act of selfishness because you are only thinking about yourself, not how it will affect other people. There is always a better way than to resort to suicide. So, right there, I just summed up what these 5 chapters have been about. Gotta love writing. ;)
Oh! I almost forgot the whole reason I was so keen on updating today, a school night. Happy birthday, Miley Cyrus! 17, wooo! Same age as Taylor Lautner. ;) It's not her birthday anymore where I am, but maybe it is where you are. School was so funny today when I mentioned it. I got a lot of disgusted faces. What do you think of Miley?
Please review! Come on, it's your last chance!