a/n: in the last chapter i forgot to put Bella's POV, it was in bella's pov for people who were confused.

(Bella POV)

"Wait I have more" Esme said and grabbed the pen again.

"How many more?" I asked.

"A lot" Edward answered for her.

102. Don't call Carlisle in the middle of the night claiming you have an emergency when you only flicked someone's face.

103. Never wreck your car on purpose so Rosalie will fix it, so you break it again and make her fix it again.

104. Don't let Emmett, Jasper, or Alice touch the 100 science experiments for kids' box.

"Why?" Emmett, Jasper and Alice said together.

"Because you almost blew up the house claiming you were going to find the cure for cancer!" Carlisle said. Emmett, Jasper, and Alice mumbled something unintelligible.

105. Don't hang out fliers that say: Emmett Cullen for President, Jasper Hale for Vice President, Alice Cullen for Secretary of Defense, Bella Cullen for Secretary of State, and Rosalie Hale for First Lady.

106. Never write a letter to the President claiming you know the secret to Area 51; we don't want another visit from the CIA.

107. Rosalie is a natural blonde; don't try to prove otherwise, it's not going to work.

108. Cooking pancakes for the family is pointless; we're not going to eat them, only Jacob.

109. …Pretending to cry after we don't eat them won't work.

110. Give coal to everyone claiming they've been really bad all year when it's not even Christmas is stupid.

Edward and Bella snickered. "Alice's expression was hilarious"

Alice pouted. "I was good all year"

"Sure you were Alice" Rosalie said.

"I was"

Jasper coughed. "Not" he said between the coughs. Alice glared at him and then shook her head.

111. Don't give Nessie a picture of the Loch Ness Monster and claim it's her self portrait.

112. Nessie does not look like Strawberry Shortcake!

113. Never claim Alice is the President of Smurfville.

114. Don't bark when you want to talk to Jacob.

115. Saying 'Awkward silence' every time everything's quiet only makes us annoyed Jacob.

116. Playing paintball inside the house is forbidden, especially when Alice uses neon pink paint balls.

117. When you see Emmett, don't scream and yell: OMG a grizzly bear! And the lunge at him.

Nessie snickered. "Poor Uncle Emmett" he patted the top of his head.

Emmett rolled his eyes and pouted. "I don't look like a grizzly bear!" he complained. There was an awkward silence while everyone stared at him.

"Awkward silence!" Jacob coughed. Esme glared at him.

118. Don't show up at the hospital and claim you are replacing Carlisle for his shift, especially if you haven't been to medical school!

119. Doing the Indian dance around Jacob gets him mad.

120. Bowing down to Jacob chanting "Oh mighty Alpha" while Sam is around only gets Sam mad.

121. Don't tell Leah to take the chill pill.

"There's a chill pill?" Emmett asked.

Rosalie sighed. "No honey"

"Aw man"

122. Changing your emotions to suicidal around Jasper will earn us another trip to Volterra, don't do it!

123. Don't use Carlisle's stethoscope to play 'doctor'…if you know what I mean.

Rosalie, Alice, and Bella snickered. Carlisle looked at them wide eyed.

"I would expect it from Rosalie, but Alice and Bella!" He said putting his hands on his face.

"There's a lot you don't know about us" Alice and I said at the same time. Carlisle shivered.

124. Chanting "strip, strip, strip" when Rosalie is taking off her coat won't make her strip!

125. Do not put "Dora the Explorer" on the TV and turn on the volume to maximum while singing along to the theme song.

126. Making puppet shows about our life will only cause a waste of socks.

127. When someone asks for an anti depressant, don't yell: "Jasper, it's for you!"

128. Don't chant: Edward, Edward, Edward, in your head.

129. …and when he asks what, don't say: Nothing! In a sweet tone.

130. Do not call random people and make sex noises, we already got sued once!

"Who did that one?" I asked. I turned to Emmett.

"It wasn't me, hard to believe I know"

I turned to Rosalie.

"Not me"

Alice was whistling and I looked at her.

"I wasn't me, but I got you there didn't I?" she smirked.

Edward coughed. I looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "It was you?" Edward looked away and nodded. I cracked up, as well as everyone else at the table.

131. Jasper can't say: I feel you, every time you say I'm bored, or annoyed, or any other emotion.

132. Do not pretend to crawl out of the TV like if you were the girl from the ring, Emmett got freaked out the first time Alice did it.

133. Never dress Jasper as Rudolph for Christmas, or Rosalie as Mrs. Claus.

"Why not Mrs. Claus?" I asked. Rosalie bit her lip.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yeah"

"Emmett and I used that custom…"

"Ok, ok, I got it!" Ew, ew, ew, scarred for life.

Rosalie snickered. "You asked"

134. Do not yell: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, every time you run out of a room.

135. Don't go up to the neighbors in a pair of boxers asking if they have milk.

136. When they say they don't, do not wiggle your eyebrows and say: "Want me to give you some milk?"

"Ew" Alice said frowning. "That is the most disgusting innuendo ever!"

Jasper snickered. "We wanted to see her reaction"

"She almost threw herself on Emmett" Edward added.

"What?" Rosalie hissed. Emmett raised his palms in defeat.

"I didn't do anything I swear, I ran away as soon as she complied"

Rosalie growled and flipped her hair, turning her head away from him.

"Rose please, don't be like that! You know I love you" Emmett pleaded. Rosalie harrumphed and ignored her husband.

137. Every time you answer the phone do not talk like a flight attendant.

138. Running in slow motion singing: We are the champions! After you win in gym class is forbidden, you get weird stares.

139. Do not announce when someone gets up, or when they leave the room don't say: Alice ladies and gentleman, or any other name.

"What do you think?" Esme asked Carlisle.

"Well, maybe we'll come up with some more later, but this will do"

"Woo! Work it baby!" Rosalie whooped from the other side of the room. The song "Sexy Back" played in the background. We turned to look and Emmett was giving Rosalie a strip dance. "Yeah!" Rosalie chanted.

Carlisle and Esme cleared their throats. Alice was gaggin and Jasper was covering her eyes. Edward was covering Nessie's and Jacob had his eyes shut so tight i think it hurt him a bit.

Esme sighed and turned off the music.

"Hey!" Rosalie complained and pouted. Emmett grinned.

Edward shook his head and Alice grabbed the pen.

140. Don't give your respective other a lap dance in front of the family for forgiveness.