A/N: Thank you so much to bailey1ak for all your help and encouragement.

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: Reunion season 4

I appreciate your reviews. Any type of criticism is helpful. Enjoy!

Chapter 6

Jennifer woke from her nap and noticed she had a few minutes before meeting Carolyn for dinner. She pulled out her computer and began to write an email to Evan.

Dear Evan … Well, I made it here – finally!! It was a long trip but Lindsey kept me company and it went by quickly. All that time on the Daedalus and I still didn't figure out what I'm going to do. I got approval to bunk on the base for a few days so that gives me time.

How's Ronon? Are you taking care of him for me?? Or are you still mad at him? He needs his friends right now so don't be angry long. If he asks, tell him I'm okay.

I made it through my physical but I'm still not 100% since the shooting so Carolyn ran some more tests just to be sure everything is okay. I think it's just a matter of exhaustion. I don't heal as quickly as I use to. Old age already! LOL

I haven't seen Laura yet but I just got here. I'll look around for her later. I hope I remember this right … you wanted me to give her a big kiss and tell her of your undying love?? I can hear you fretting two galaxies away!! Don't worry, I'll give her your customary "hug" but someone needs to fire up this "friendship" a little bit.

Time for dinner. I miss you terribly.

Love you, Jen

Jennifer closed her laptop and put her shoes on. She took her time walking to the dining hall seeing if she could spot anyone that looked familiar. Personnel turnovers were pretty regular in this type of work still there were always a handful that embraced the challenge. It'd been three years since she left the SGC but everything still looked the same. I guess if it's not broken don't fix it.

Jennifer spotted Carolyn the minute she entered the room.

"Jennifer, I've arranged for us to use one of the private dining rooms this evening. That way we can go over your test results in private," Carolyn said trying to sound casual. She didn't want to alarm Jennifer about anything she may have found in her test results.

"This may as well be a private room for all the people I know," Jennifer replied laughing. "I haven't spotted anyone who looks familiar."

"Well, SG-1 is off world right now and we are between shifts … I'm sure Laura will hunt you down later." Carolyn smiled and she nodded toward a doorway in the back of the room.

Once seated, Dr. Lam pulled out Jennifer's medical file. Taking a deep breath she proceeded to change Jennifer's life forever.

"Jennifer, your blood tests look really good. I'm sure you will always have some markers that don't look normal to the average doctor … we call it the Pegasus effect. It looks like Dr. Cole did an excellent job of cleansing your system after the shooting. You'll have to share all that with me sometime," Dr. Lam said raising her eyebrows.

"Do you think the whole ordeal is what's causing the fatigue and weight loss?" Jennifer asked.

"No, actually, I did find something in your blood work that accounts for all your symptoms." Dr. Lam hated this part of her job. Carolyn was afraid of pushing Jennifer over the edge with her news but there was nothing she could do but finish her report.

"Jennifer, you're pregnant," Carolyn announced waiting for Jen's response.

Shock didn't quite express the look that spread across Jennifer's face. Dr. Lam waited giving Jen time to absorb what she'd said. Jennifer sat for a long time saying nothing. Finally, her eyes began to fill with tears as the truth began to sink in.

"Are you sure?" Jennifer whispered.

"Yes. I take it this isn't good news?" Dr. Lam asked trying to get Jennifer to talk about her situation.

"Carolyn, I went through so much when I was shot. Will that hurt the baby?" Jennifer questioned as the tears silently fell on the dining room table.

"I don't think so but I want to run some different tests and get you in for an ultrasound tomorrow. Will you be up for that?"

"Sure, I'll come down in the morning," Jennifer promised as she slowly put everything back on her tray preparing to leave.

"Jennifer, I know it's none of my business but it might help if you talk about it." Carolyn suggested gently.

"Can we talk about this tomorrow? I'm really tired and think I'll go to bed early," Jennifer said as she stood to leave. "You know, Carolyn, I knew when I got here I needed to find a new job. Being a single mom wasn't even on the short list," Jennifer said sarcastically.

Carolyn stood and stepped into Jennifer's path, gathering her into her arms she held her for a long time while Jennifer cried for all that would never be.

Ronon and SGA-2 just returned through the gate from a routine supply run to one of their ally planets. Ronon spent most of his time on missions hoping to keep his mind occupied with thoughts other than Jennifer. Sheppard was already in the habit of placing him on Lorne's team when the opportunity afforded itself. Between missions and training sessions, Ronon had very little down time, which suited him just fine.

He wandered down the hallway on the way to his room to clean up before finding something to eat. Now that he was back in Atlantis he couldn't stop thinking about Jennifer, she was always on his mind. Ronon took a quick shower washing away the dust and grime from the mission. Quickly dressing, he sat on the bed to put his boots back on and gazed over at Jennifer's picture on his nightstand. He sat for a moment, hunched over with his head in his hands letting regrets consume him. He had no one to blame but himself but the pain didn't care whose fault it was. He didn't want it to ever get better. He wanted to feel this intense pain knowing it would somehow keep a connection with her. As perverse as that sounded, he didn't care. He never wanted to move on or put Jennifer behind him. To do that would mean certain death for him … better to grieve; at least she'd still be with him.

Ronon arrived in the mess hall hoping to find Lorne at one of the tables. Spotting him sitting alone, he filled a tray and moved toward him. Ronon knew everyone was still upset with him for pushing Jennifer away. Sheppard and Lorne had barely said two words to him in the past month but he needed to know if she was okay. It was worth swallowing his pride and asking if he got some answers.

"Mind if I sit with you?" Ronon asked as he stood at Lorne's table.

"Sure… wondered when you were going to ask about her." Lorne said as Ronon sat down.

"I figured if anyone's heard from her it'd be you. Is she okay?" Ronon asked holding his breath.

"She arrived at the SGC just fine. Still feeling a bit rocky from the shooting but Dr. Lam is running some tests to be sure everything's okay. She's missing you, missing Atlantis." Lorne finished looking to Ronon for some kind of response.

"Thanks, Lorne, I appreciate that," Ronon replied looking miserable.

"Yeah, just remember that next time we spar," Lorne said smiling at his friend hoping to lighten his burden. He knew Jen would scold him if he stayed mad too long.

Ronon looked up and gave Lorne a small grin. "You got it."

Jennifer arrived in the infirmary early the next morning taking a seat in Dr. Lam's office.

"Good morning. If you're ready, Jen, I'd like to start with an ultrasound," Dr. Lam explained.

Before Jen could answer there was a knock at the door. Carolyn answered to find Laura standing in the doorway. Dr. Lam stepped aside giving Laura silent permission to join them. The lieutenant rushed in giving Jen a huge hug.

"I'm sorry for the intrusion … Jennifer, I've been looking for you everywhere. What is going on?" Laura started firing off questions faster than Jen could answer.

"I'm sorry, I went to bed early. Sit down for a few minutes and I'll explain everything to both of you," Jennifer said feeling tired once again.

Jennifer proceeded to explain everything that happened between her and Ronon. The Wraith worshipers, the betrayal, Ronon's plans to leave Atlantis and his leaving Jennifer all tumbled out at once. Thankfully she was able to get through it all without crying. Without resting in between, Jen launched right into the shooting and her time in the infirmary followed by her decision to leave Atlantis and return to Earth. Before all the questions started she wanted to return to her room, curl up and sleep forever.

Laura sat with her mouth open trying to take it all in.

"You left Atlantis … this is not just a visit?" Laura asked incredulously.

"Yes, I'm here for good. Are you on duty, Laura?" Jennifer interjected between questions.

"No, not for another hour," Laura answered.

"Good. We were just on our way to have an ultrasound. Come on … let's go look at your new niece or nephew," Jennifer said as she stood up and grabbed Laura's hand pulling her out of the office. Carolyn chuckled and slowly shook her head back and forth. She'd never seen Laura so dumbstruck before. This would all be rather humorous if it wasn't so tragic.

Just before lunch Jennifer sat down with Carolyn again in her office and went over all the new test results with her.

"Jennifer, the baby looks good and very healthy despite all you've been through. You need to take it easy for a few days and I'm ordering you to eat! You need to gain some weight. As you saw, this little one didn't cooperate so we won't know the sex of the baby for a few more weeks. Maybe by the next ultrasound I'll be able to tell if you decide you want to know. I would say you're about 13-14 weeks along," Dr. Lam explained.

"That sounds about right," Jennifer confirmed quietly.

"Jen you look like you could use some rest but I have one more thing I'd like to discuss if you feel up to it."

"I'm fine Carolyn and I need to meet Laura in an hour so I don't have time for a nap anyway. Fire away," Jennifer replied anxious to hear whatever Lam had to say.

"I know you haven't figured out what you want to do yet but I'd like to propose your staying on and helping me out in the infirmary. You're still technically on the books so HR would have an easy time transferring you to SGC and I already have it approved. We are down a couple of doctors and could really use your help … plus, I like having you around," Carolyn added smiling.

"Everything's happening so fast I'm not sure what to do. Now that my dad's gone I don't have much of a desire to go back to Chippewa Falls. I guess it makes sense to stay since I'd have to travel back and forth anyway for my prenatal care and the delivery. Are you sure my condition wouldn't be a problem for the powers that be?' Jennifer asked knowing that military regulations could sometimes be rather sticky about some things.

"I'll check with General Landry but I don't think there's a problem. We've had several doctors in the past that have been pregnant and we just work around their pregnancy and maternity leave," Dr. Lam explained hoping Jennifer would give it some serious thought.

"I'll check things out and get back to you tomorrow," Carolyn added.

"Thanks. I'd appreciate it if you'd keep my pregnancy confidential. I really don't want it getting back to Atlantis. Things are difficult enough as it is," Jennifer said sadly.

"When you're ready Jennifer, I'm here if you need a friend to listen," Carolyn offered.

Jennifer returned to her room and sat on the bed thinking about Ronon. He'd be so happy to know he was having a baby. Before she could stop herself, she burst into tears. "I've made such a mess of my life," she thought to herself.

Jennifer grabbed her picture of Ronon once again curling up with it on her bed. That's how Laura found her when she arrived with their dinner. She left Jennifer's tray on the desk before covering her with a blanket and turning out the light. Tomorrow was soon enough to have that long talk, she thought as she slipped out the door.