Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII and I don't make money with this writing

A/N: Not beta and if you're one and feel touched to help a non native speaker...please you're welcome!

Chapter 9 - Meeting Reno

The clinic was one of the most expensive and exclusive in Wutai, where celebrities would cure their vices and neuroses, away from prying eyes. The security operation was perfect.
At least I was spared by Mother to be hospitalized in Midgar. She was sparing herself too, in case of any paparazzi take notice that one of her sons had had a headcase.

The clinic's method was weird. They had quarters with different colours and meanings, each one describing for the pacient and the doctor the step of the treatment like white, blue, yellow, orange, red and violet. There was no black room. The colors were like degrees, if you had moved from one room's color to another it meant that you was doing well the therapy and medicine. They began with the white one. The last was the violet. I went till there. Some people dropped out the treatment in the orange or yellow. I had just passed from white to blue. I was progressing, said the doctor.

One day I was seated at the blue room, quietly waiting for another boring therapy session to attest to Mother and brothers that I was not a suicidal, when I noticed a skinny boy staring at me with narrow blue eyes. He looked like drunk or drugged. Perhaps he was both.

He was certainly more beaten than I was at this time. I don't have the habit to stare at anyone, but from times to times, through my bangs, I glanced at the boy and he was there, looking at me as if he was in a trance. I was getting nervous with that annoyance look at my arm, still with the huge bandaged.

I crossed my arms trying to cover the wound in vain. I was not allowed to wear long sleeves. Not even if I was feeling cold. They would give me a cap, gloves and scarfs. Long sleeves never.

I was not feeling well that day. Definitely I was in a very bad mood, aggressive and depressive at the same time. I had been locked in the clinic there was two weeks. Loz was calling me every day, though he couldn't come to pay me a visit. Family were not allowed to visit during the first "steps". I was really bad…and into the first steps…And the brat was staring at me.

"Excuse, do you know me?"

"Silver, silver, …"

"Hey, please stop to stare at me."

"Drugs, yo?"

"What?"

"I said …you're here cuz drugs?"

"No!"

"Hum…"

He certainly was. That junkie look and wreck posture leaned at the couch as if it was a bed…I didn't want to make any eye contact with him, to not cause the impression that I wanted to talk. But again he spoke, this time adjusting himself and his awful woollen black cap that covered all his hair and forehead. He stared again at me, this time scrutinizing me with those blue eyes. He had pretty eyes, though surrounded by dark circles and an oddly red tatoo. Thin lips. I couldn't see his hair but he was certainly red because of his skin's color and eyebrows.

"Hey yo…from Aeris…yeah…"

"What?"

"Are you deaf or something?"

"Are you retard or something?"

"What a huff, yo…There's some people who become deaf here, dig it? Did you came from the red room? Why do you are shaking your legs like that? Oh…Ritaline? It makes me feel weird too..It's ok…I know how this shit is."

I sighed and covered my face with my hands. The last session was hard and I didn't know what I should expect with the next one. I didn't mean to be rude and after deeply breathing I tilted my head for the brat.

"S-sorry. I didn't understand you. What you did say?"

"I think I know you from 're from Midgar, don't you?"

"Do you know Aeris Gainsbourgh? "

"Yeah…she's my angel yo…she helped me with this stuff… My angel..."

I knew Aeris and her family very well and I doubted her parents would let her only daughter dating a guy like that one. I tried to focus on his face but nothing was coming up to my mind. I didn't know him. He was probably lieing to me. Addicted people lie to get their intent. I usually am a suspicious person, just imagine in that condition.

"She's my palm ,yo. The only and best that I have…"

" Palm? I don't think we're talking about the same person."

"Yeap…You're one of the silver guys…I know the other…Raj? The hot one…"

"What ? From where do you think that you know me? I'm not even believe that you know Aeris."

"Why? Because I'm here. You're here too…and you are hot too. Don't be jealous…"

"If you're trying to know more about me to gossip for your people, you're wasting your time. Yo."

"Fuck, yo…you're taking the ritaline, don't you? This shit turns everyone into paranoid and stuff…tons of ritaline would bound to hurt you…burns your brains…BOOM!"

"I'm not paranoid. It's only the fact that I don't see you and Aeris in the same social circle. I know her, and her family wouldn't agree with this."

"Hey! You're hurting my feelings, yo… You really should go to the red room, dig it? It helps to let it go the anger and the bad…"

"Oh my god…why don't you shut up?"

"Tight-ass…."

I was getting so anxious with that conversation that I stood up to change my appointment for another time. I was not in the mood and he was talking like a broken recorder and he followed my steps. I didn't dare to look at his face.

"What's your name silver boy? You're a little flushed…"

"Why do you are following me?"

"Why do you're here?"

"None of your business."

"Red one! You're really upthight uhn silver boy?

"Oh please stop that! I'm not feeling well."

"Ok…Don't puke on me, ok?"

I went to the nurse desk and the boy went back to the couch. He was afraid of me puking over him. I really was in a nutty farm…

"Nurse? I want to schedule my session for another time."

"I'm sorry. The sessions are not allowed to change. Please wait , the doctor will see you in a few minutes."

"I do believe it's must be possible change it! I'm not a prisioner! And my Mother is spending a huge amount of money here! Do it. Now or I 'll leave this place."

"I'm sorry but you'll have to be patient. So, please go back and sit down."

I was furious. Tired. Helpless. I walked back towards the couch and sat at the other side of the room. I didn't want to look at the boy, but I heard an annoyed grin coming from his side. He was laying in the other couch in front of me, staring at the ceiling.

"World isn't fair uhn silver boy? Do you think money worth something here in that funny farm? We're nuts baby…even the la-di-da rich boys…like you are: I want it and I want it know, Oooh, you're not from our circle".

He teased and mocked me with a strangled thin voice, imitating a pedantic person speaking.

"Shut up!"

"Say it again and I 'll kick you ass. Fucking mother fucker! Do you really think that you're someone here? I'm pissed off with blokes like you! You're fucking nothing…just a fucking suicidal…"

When you're under strong medications, the mood swift changes from sadness to rage.

I was in rage and I didn't notice when I jumped out from my spot at the couch to grip the boy's arm. I shook him as if he was a rag doll. He definitly was drugged because if he was not he would probably knock me out. I threatened him to shut up or I would cut his face. Bad choice of words... He glared at me and with an expressionless face, he lowered his narrow eyes to my arm.

"Yeah, yeah…I see…cut…troubles with the cutlery? Let me guess…no, it was an accident…the fork followed you…hehe! Hahaha…an army of forks and knive and…plates! But all in silver!"

"Fucking head…"

"Yazoo Jenova? Stop!"

I already had my hands twisting the boy's neck , when the nurse had called my name and two other nurses ran to lift me and to pull me out of the boy's neck. I heard when he said it, in a louder voice, still laughing at my face, while the nurses dragged me to doctor's office

" Hey, I forgive you, poor fucking suicidal". And he laughed again, lost inside his mental image of forks and knives running after me.

Again my mood changed from rage into sadness. He was right. I had the best session since that I had arrived at the clinic. The brat, without know, had helped me to get out of my madness. I had admited to myself that I was desperate looking for acceptation, for love, for attention, for freedom to live whatever I wanted without feel myself so miserable.

The brotherly bonds that Mother obliged us to feel for each other and refused to see, that we, her children, didn't have. Not in the way that Mother wanted. I saw many things that I was not prepared to see, but in somehow I needed didn't want her power, only her love and presence at home. In the beginning of the therapy I was hating Mother with all my heart. I was hating the way she punished us with her absence, I was hating the fact that she had absently minded avoided us to have a father. That was why I became so close to Loz and Sephy of Kadaj. For God's sake, Sephy was Kadaj's brother not his father! And every time something went wrong with Kadaj who was punished as a child was Sephy. And in a good part of our childhood, Sephy had done the same with Loz! I doubt that my big brother could see this as I am. Oh Mother's demands, always forcing us to be the best of the school, the bet of the army, the best of the damn planet. I was hating her with all my being and inside the red room I shouted and cried my pain. In one of the sessions, she was there.

She cried when I said that not even punishing myself made her stop and look at me. Look at us. I was almost splitting on her face my incestual love by Loz. I threw on her face all the guilt that she owned by our failures. She held me tight and didn't refuse none harshly word that I had madly shouted at her. She just snuggled me and silently cried, the noise of her golden bracelets tinkling on my ears, while she stroked my hair.

I understand Mother now. We had a long journey inside that clinic in Wutai.

She was more tired than I thought. She was alone, nurturing children to inherit her power and keeping her secrets inside her core. I talked to her and she told me about our origins and about her particular view of life, planet, cells, power, family and us. She talked to me and called us her jewels. She said me how much she love us. How much she wanted for us a good life, to have things that she never had had, like a family. Like love and bond. When I got out of the clinic I had two things on my mind, close my link with Loz and be happy. Oh, and stop to kill myself bit by bit.

That brat…

I never saw him again. I didn't know his name and the nurses and doctors didn't had tell me. Surely they wouldn't , I almost strangled the boy at that afternoon. And I didn't want to ask to Aeris, if she had some friend on a rehab clinic in Wutai. Besides me… But he knew my name. Years later we meet again.

If he remembered me, he didn't say it. Neither do I.

Reno.

After our experience at a nutty farm, even that we hadn't spoken a word about that, it was easy for us to be friends.