Chapter 2

January 31, 2008

I've kept Mello's letter close to me ever since I got it. I've pretty much memorized it from reading it so many times, but I read it again and again anyway. I have to wonder what on earth possessed that boy to join the mafia at apparently 17, but he's one of those people who are willing to do anything to reach their goals.

Mello's goal happens to be defeating Kira--specifically, before his rival, Near. He's also doing it so that he and I can have a safe and happy future together. Yeah, it's dangerous--downright stupid, even--but I can't deny that he's got a good heart. That's why I fell in love with him.

"Hey, there!" a voice calls out to me. I look up and see Jess walking towards me again. I haven't seen her much since she gave me that letter. Maybe she's stalking someone else…

"Hey, Jess," I reply cheerfully.

"Oh, you seem a lot happier now," she says. "I've noticed you smiling a lot more ever since I gave you that letter…who was it from?"

I blush. Then I remember she didn't come to Wammy's until after Mello left, so she doesn't know about him. "Oh, it was, uh…a friend of mine. He just wrote me to catch up…"

"Why didn't he put a return address, then?" she asks. "Oh! Maybe it was in the letter itself. Was that it?"

"No," I say. "He's in a place right now where contact can only come one way, so I'm waiting on him…" I can't exactly say "It's because he's a mafia boss in LA", can I?

Suddenly, Jess looks past me into my room.

"Why do you have a bag packed?" she asks. "You're not…leaving me, are you?"

"Actually, Jess," I sigh, "tomorrow I am planning to leave. I have to find him…"

Crap. That last part slipped out.

"Find who? Your friend?"

I nod. Then I see tears forming in her eyes and panic. "Look, it's nothing against you, I swear! It's just…I'm not myself without him, you see. I…I love him, actually."

Why am I telling her this? She doesn't even know Mello!

"Wait, so…you're gay?!" she asks. I can't tell if she's horrified or heartbroken. Well, I suppose that would be a rather harsh way of being rejected, if you were a girl…so maybe she's a bit of both. "And you've been leading me on this whole time?"

Whoa, wait a second. "Uh, excuse me? I haven't been 'leading you on', Jess. I think I've made it clear I only see you as a friend…" I tell her.

"Well, whatever. As long as you're happy, Matt," she says, suddenly cheery again (suspicion 2 about her: she's CRAZY!). "We're friends. Friends don't judge each other, right?"

"Right," I say. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to speak to Roger about some things, okay?"

She hesitates for a moment, then says, "Okay, Matt! Good luck finding your friend!"

"Thanks," I say, then walk down the hall towards Roger's office.

When I find his office, I poke my head through the doorway to check if he's busy.

"Um, sir?"

He looks up. "Oh, Matt…can I help you?"

"Yes, actually," I say. "I'm, uh…well, you have my file, obviously, so you probably know already that tomorrow is--"

"Your birthday," he finishes. "Your eighteenth, to be exact."

"Um, yeah," I nod. "And, well…I've decided I'm going to leave tomorrow. I can't stay here."

"Ah, yes, I had a feeling that was what this was going to be about," Roger sighs. "But, Matt…regardless of your age, you're still our top student. Are you sure you want to leave?"

"Near can handle it," I reply simply, shrugging.

He gives me a strange look. "Huh. And all this time I thought you were on Mello's side…"

I look down to hide the blush on my face. "I am. That's kind of why I'm leaving. To go find him."

"I see," he says, nodding. "Well, you seem set, and I guess I can't stop you. But…be careful out there, Matt."

"I will, sir. Thanks for everything."

I turn to leave and wipe a stray tear from my eye. In a way, I'm sad to leave. I've grown up here; I have a lot of good memories here.

But I've made up my mind. I have to leave. It's the only way I'll ever possibly find happiness again.