Melissa was silent as she gazed out over the extensive and lush grounds of Hogwarts from the Gryffindor Tower balcony. She was thinking about Kendra. At the moment everyone was, so that was hardly a surprise. So far Dumbledore had not taken any action for the anorexic and severely depressed sixth year and the end of term was two weeks away. But she hoped, and knew that Lily did too, that he would make his move soon, because she was getting seriously worried about her friend. Kendra's condition had gone downhill from the moment Chloe had died, and sometimes Melissa wondered whether Kendra just wanted her best friend back, whatever it took. She had not listened to Lily when she had been found cutting herself in the bathroom, and had been found in the same, half-drunken and bleeding state by several people now. Not everyone knew about the cutting, but more and more people were finding out, including Melissa who had been told by Lily. Lily, like her, was frantically racking her brains for a way to cheer Kendra up, but they had so far had no luck. Their only hope was Remus Lupin. If he forgave his former girlfriend for all her mistakes and pled for forgiveness for his, she might just accept his apology and get back together with him.

She was so deep in thought about how to talk to Remus about the issue that she did not hear the quiet and graceful footsteps behind her. She did not even realize that her fiancé was standing next to her until he spoke.

"Thinking about something?"

She sighed, "Morning, Sirius."

He chuckled in his deep, warm voice, "That doesn't answer my question, Lissa."

He had taken to calling her Lissa, and she found that she quite liked it; it was unique and made her feel special.

"I'm worried about Kendra," she acknowledged, turning to face him fully. She saw his gray eyes adopt a sympathetic look as he understood.

"Isn't everyone these days? She's depressed, Lissa, we all know it."

"Then why doesn't someone do something about it?!" she burst out, immediately regretting it. His eyes grew dark as he answered.

"We've tried! You know that!" His fists clenched at his sides as he tried to control his temper, "Sorry," he sighed, repentant, "I know it's so much harder for you and Lily than anyone else."

"Can you talk to Remus for me?" she asked tentatively, running a cautious hand across his bare chest. It obviously helped; he encircled her with his arms and lowered his mouth to hers.

"Yes," he breathed slowly, seductively into her mouth, "I'm not promising success, though."

"I love you," she responded, kissing him back fiercely now. Her arms tightened around his shoulders as he slowly withdrew his lips and placed them on her neck.

She was instantly tense, "No, Sirius."

Sirius sighed in exasperation; it was the one point in their engagement that they could not seem to work out between them. Sirius desired her and couldn't understand her reluctance to submit to him. He had apologized for that day in the boys' dormitory, but he couldn't comprehend why she was so afraid of getting pregnant. Therefore there was a flicker of unease and mistrust in their relationship that neither of them could quite extinguish.

"Why not?" he demanded. She tried to pull out of his vice-like hold, but he wouldn't relinquish his hold on her.

"Sirius, we've discussed this," she hissed in frustration, struggling to be free of his strong arms. It would be too easy to let go of her morals and principles, too easy. She couldn't give herself the temptation. "You said you wouldn't do this again. You promised!"

"I can't be with an ice maiden!" he burst out angrily, his cheeks flushed. The boys were all giving him too much grief about his situation for it to go on any longer. He was sick to death of her reservations and frigidity.

"Well I can't be with a man who doesn't respect me!" she countered, tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes.

"That's the problem!" he yelled, "It's always about you! You don't care about me, or anyone else! You're an attention seeking, immature prude!"

She gasped, "I can't believe you would say that! You fucking manwhore! I swore I'd never fall into your trap - all you want is to shag me!"

"That's what you think," he said, his words coming out fast now, harsh and cruel, "Well, believe me, if I wanted to fuck you that badly, I could've done it easily well before now. You're weak, Melissa! You think you're being so strong and desirable by playing hard to get, but one day when you admit you really do want me I won't be here waiting!"

"Well if that's the way you feel-"

"It is."

It was then that she threw her engagement ring in his face and ran crying from the room, her mascara tracking down her cheeks in muddy black rivers.

Embarrassingly, he reflected later, he caught it and went running after her, shouting profanities and insults at her back. To give her some credit, she didn't even flinch when he called her a "lying, conniving whore."

Now there was more than one Marauder's heart and relationship broken; there were three.

xXoXx

"I wonder what he wants to talk to us about?" Lily mused thoughtfully, her hands interlocking with James' automatically. The two were on their way to Dumbledore's office because he had sent them owls telling them to meet him in his office today.

"Don't know," James replied, grinning as her soft fingers brushed his. He still couldn't quite believe that the girl of his dreams finally felt the same way about him as he did about her. Some mornings when he woke up it felt like a dream and then he remembered that she loved him. And he would grin as he did now - like a Cheshire cat - because she loved him.

"I've only been up to his office once or twice," Lily confessed nervously. Now that she had mentioned it, he could feel her body tensing up as they got closer.

He smirked at her knowledgeably, "Don't worry," he reassured her, "I've been up there heaps of times. For pranks y'know?"

She nodded, still looking scared, "But why does he want to see me? Why now?"

"Maybe it's about Kendra," he suggested, screwing up his face slightly as he thought it over, "Anyway, here we are."

She made to go slowly forward, but he placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her. She turned her head to look at him inquisitively and he spun her around to sweep her off her feet with a breathtaking kiss.

"Whatever this is about," he whispered to her, "Good luck. You'll be fine."

She smiled at him, a lovestruck and happy grin, "You too."

"Right then - Acid Pops!" He spoke louder now and watched her stunned reaction, "Guess you haven't been up here much," he remarked.

She gave him a withering look, "Yeah, I said."

He grinned impishly back at her, "C'mon. Whatever it is, it can't be too bad." And with that, he strode up the staircase with Lily following close behind him. Once he reached the top of the stairs, he knocked on the door to the headmaster's office and it opened almost immediately. Dumbledore had been expecting them.

James strode in confidently, with Lily in tow, calling on her Gryffindor bravery. But there was a twist to this particular visit to Dumbledore's office, for James that is. The portraits covering the office walls were applauding them - clapping and cheering loudly.

"Ah, Mr Potter and Miss Evans," Dumbledore said once the portraits were silent again, "Do take a seat." James sank down into a plush chair and Lily sat down on the chair next to him, more hesitantly. "Now I suppose you're wondering why I asked you to come up here today, hmm?" They nodded, Lily relaxing a bit, "Well, I am sure you have realized that you are entering seventh year next year, and I am pleased to announce that, Miss Evans, you are our Head Girl and Mr Potter, our Head Boy."

James burst out laughing, "Sorry Professor," he apologized, looking rueful, "I just think maybe you've got the wrong guy. Lily, sure, she'd be an awesome Head Girl, but me? I don't think so!"

"Please, Mr Potter," Dumbledore said, his blue eyes alive with merriment, "You are more than welcome to abandon the post as long as you agree to try out the position first."

James nodded, his shoulders still shaking with mirth, "If you're sure, Professor."

"I insist."

xXoXx

Dear Lily, Melissa, James, Sirius and Peter,

I'm sorry about the way I've treated everyone lately. I know I have completely ruined the school year with my presence in your lives. And that's why I have to do this. Please understand that my life is worthless without my best friend and that when I am gone, I will be happy because I will be with her. Don't feel sad for me, and I don't want a funeral. Don't even wear black for me - I'm happy to do this and I've wanted to do it for a long time. Tell Remus that I'm sorry for being scared of who he is. I can't help my fear of werewolves but I never meant for him to find out about it. I wanted to keep it from him by becoming an animagus and facing my fear, but I will never be able to do that now and that is my one regret about dying. It will be quick and painless, my friends. Then you'll be rid of me until we meet in heaven. I'll be there by the time you read this, so please just imagine me as an angel floating next to Chloe.

Lily, stay with James. He loves you and you do too - you talk in your sleep real loud, you know that? And keep studying, girlfriend! You never do stop, do you?

Mel, good luck with your marriage to Sirius. I hope it all goes well between you two - you're so hotheaded that anything could happen, so don't let it happen. And tell Sirius about your past. You know what I mean - why you won't be intimate with him.

James, DON'T screw it up with Lily! She's one to hold grudges, as I guess you already know. And having got this far with her, don't muck it up with her. She cares about you too much, I know she won't be able to survive without you.

Sirius, keep pranking. The one thing that's kept me from going insane in this place is your Marauder pranks and I wouldn't wish this black feeling on anyone else, not ever. And keep Mel - she's well worth it.

Peter, I know what you are and it disgusts me. I stumbled upon one of their meetings once and happened to hear your high, reedy voice amongst others. Get out of it, Peter, otherwise you'll end up doing something you'll really regret. That was how she died, wasn't it? I'm going to know the exact truth soon, when I meet her in heaven. You broke her heart and you only have one chance to redeem yourself - by getting out.

So goodbye, friends. I hope we meet again one day and us eight will be back together again, with Chloe by our sides. I love you all, but I can't stand living any longer. Please don't blame yourselves.

Goodbye and thanks,

Kendra.

Kendra stood by the lake, her body shaking. I have to do this. The bleakness of her life had never been as terrible as it had been these last few months and she could see no point in her future. Voldemort was murdering people every day, her best friend was dead and her once-boyfriend hated her.

She would drown herself. She would sink down to the bottom, where the merpeople lived and the Giant Squid roamed and she would lose consciousness. She welcomed the numb feeling of death eagerly. It was her only escape, her lifeline from the ruined life she led.

She crouched down on the bank, ready to dive, when she heard voices calling her name in the distance. Quickly, she whipped her head round to see her friends running towards her. They must have read the letter. She had to do it now, and quickly. Her death had not been something she had wanted them to see and that was part of the reason she had chosen drowning. It seemed so appealing - slipping beneath the waves, her life ebbing away, her friends clueless. That was how dying should be.

I have to do this.

She dove. The water was icy, not how she had expected it. And now she realized it was too late for anything, any last words, any change of her mind. Because she was going under. The water above her seemed endless now and she was sinking slowly, languidly down into black water. The darkness. Even now it haunted her, tingeing her romanticized death scene.

She couldn't breathe and the silence of the lake around her was stifling. Above her, she heard a splash and wondered vaguely what it was. Her mind was shutting down, refusing to work. She was determined to go through with this, but it was not going as she had imagined so often.

Kendra closed her eyes, as if drifting off to sleep, as the waves lapped against the bank above her and she sank down deeper into darkness.

That was unexpected wasn't it?! I am still undecided on whether I want Kendra to die or not, hence the splash above her. If you guys want her to live or die, you can help her case by telling me in a review. Thanks to all my regular reviewers by the way. I would die without you guys!

xx

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