When he saw Kendra sink under the waves, he acted instinctively by pulling off his trousers and jumper and diving into the lake as quickly as he could. It was basic survival - don't attempt to rescue a drowning person with all your clothes on. They will weigh you down and you won't be able to support the person's weight. He did not have any idea what Kendra's weight was and he very much regretted not having the chance to hold her up and support her tenderly, like a baby. He wished that he had just forgiven her and they could have had a fresh start. But in his stubbornness he had been a fool and now she was sinking down into unconsciousness and death, which would inevitably follow if she was without oxygen for long enough.

He knew basic first aid and lifesaving, but he doubted that this would be enough. Kendra's body was weak from her withdrawal from food and comfort and - again - he could have prevented this if he hadn't been so pigheaded.

But now was not the time for what could have been; he needed to think. He could perform a spell - possibly Bombarda - to blast the waves aside in order to get to the surface quicker, but a better option might be to cast a bubblehead charm on Kendra and himself so that she would not take in any more seawater.

He reached her and pulled on her jacket to haul her body up to where he was floating, before using wandless magic to cast a bubblehead charm over the pair of them and slowly, heavily, he began to swim to the surface. It was hard going, but if there was anything in his life worth fighting for, it was his friends. And the fact that he cared about Kendra much more than any friend could just made his urge to save her stronger. To him this was not about playing the hero, but saving the girl he had loved for a long time. In that moment it didn't matter that she feared and despised him, or that she was depressed. These factors did not even surface or register in his mind and he acted automatically to help a friend in need.

He undid his charm by reflex when they reached the surface and pushed her towards his friends, who were waiting anxiously on the side of the lake.

Sirius had obviously been preparing to help Remus out of the water, and he jumped in and quickly swam to his friend's side and pulled him to safety.

"You okay?" he asked Remus when they were both out of the water.

Remus was busy coughing and retching into the grass and could only nod weakly in response.

"So does anyone know mouth to mouth?" Lily called to the rest of the group. They had sent Peter to find Professor Dumbledore because he was the least able to cope in an emergency.

"I'll do it," Remus volunteered weakly. He had now emptied the contents of his stomach and was feeling a lot better now that he had less seawater in his system.

"Well hurry!"

Remus thought, ironically, as he bent over Kendra that this was most probably the last kiss he would ever have with her. But did mouth to mouth resuscitation really count as a kiss? He needed to concentrate now, though. His love life was the least of their problems at that moment.

He bent down to her mouth and breathed into it, before placing his hands carefully on her diaphragm and pushing down hard so that he could hopefully revive her. He repeated this over and over until he feared for her life.

"Are you sure you're doing it right?" Mel asked nervously, hovering over his shoulder as she obviously had nothing productive to do for her friend.

"Yeah, I've had some training," he replied confidently, but he felt this was mostly false bravado, "Can you get her some warm clothes, 'cause we don't want her to get hypothermia?"

She nodded, and sprinted off towards the castle. Peter wasn't back yet with Professor Dumbledore and this worried him.

Just then, he heard a faint cough from Kendra lying on the ground. She coughed again, louder this time, and her eyes opened.

"What happened?" she asked weakly, struggling to sit up. Remus pushed her down.

"You need to conserve your strength, KJ. You tried to… kill yourself by drowning in the lake, but we got there before it was too late."

She groaned, "Oh, so everyone knows now?"

"Well, after we read that note-" she winced "-We figured out where you were with the map we used to find…" He cleared his throat, not wanting to mention Chloe. "Ahem. Anyway, after that we came to the lake as fast as we could, just to see you diving in. I dived in after you and brought you back to the surface, but you were already unconscious when I reached you. You're very lucky to be alive, Kendra!"

Kendra sighed, "Yeah I know - what was I thinking and all that. I just don't see the point in life! I guess that sounds suicidal to you, though."

He was starting to get irritated with her careless attitude towards her own safety and life, "Yeah, actually it does! And that was incredibly irresponsible of you! If we hadn't gotten there in time, you could've died!"

"Why did you do it?" she asked.

"Do what? Come after you? Save you? Or is this about before, when we broke up? Because as I recall it was you who did all the breaking up!"

She seemed surprised by his outburst, "I meant saving me. You could've gotten killed."

"So could you. You almost did!" He countered.

"But you hate me," she protested, confused.

He gaped at her, his mouth open, "No I don't, Kendra! I don't hate you, I love you."

"I love you too, Remus," she whispered.

"So are we…?" He asked her hopefully, eyeing her face to see her reaction.

"If you want us to be," she murmured sleepily, before her head slumped to one side, her eyes closed and her breathing became even and steady. She was asleep, and Remus was content.

xXoXx

Mel was amazed that she and Sirius had been working side by side when they were helping Kendra. He really could be a decent boy when he wanted to be, she thought bitterly. She couldn't believe how nastily he had acted and how he could work at her side and pretend that nothing had happened between them, that she hadn't flung her engagement ring at him, that he hadn't called her rude names.

She was confused by how he had acted earlier. He had not acted with her best interests at heart, and this had made her uneasy over his feelings and tenderness towards her. She couldn't risk being with Sirius if he would not respect her and her wishes. She was not naturally easy or open with boys - because of her good looks she had always been much sought after by them at school, and some of them had treated her badly because they were only going out with her for her looks.

She had thought that he was different from those boys because he was like her. He had good looks and a roguish charm about him that made girls swoon. But if he pressed for sex, in her opinion he was just like the others.

And he had a temper - he had proved that earlier by getting frustrated with her and calling her all sorts of names. She could still hear his words as he had insulted her.

Lying, conniving whore!

Of course it wasn't true and she knew that. But it still hurt to hear such words coming out of his mouth of his own free will. And she didn't know for certain whether or not he meant it.

"Hey," he said to her gently, taking some of the tension out of the air. Professor Dumbledore had arrived about five minutes earlier and had instructed Lily, Remus, Peter and James to carry and support Kendra to the hospital wing where she would remain until Madam Pomfrey deemed her fit to leave.

"I didn't-"

But he stopped when she turned her back on him and began to walk away. She searched her feelings for regret and disappointment, but she only found triumph and a sense of contentment that she had shown him where he could shove his apology.

She stumbled and fell, however, as something hit her hard from behind. She got up cautiously, making sure that she was alright, before turning to look at the object that had hit her. Her heart sank as she realized that it was the gold watch she had given to Sirius for Christmas. It had been damaged, broken either by Sirius or by its flight across the grass. She didn't think Sirius had meant to hurt her physically, but her back stung terribly. This was nothing to the turmoil her mind was going through. Tears were running down her cheeks as she turned to look back at where she knew he would be. His eyes were dark and impenetrable, his face twisted into an angry mask as he stared back at her.

She felt her feet moving across the grass, unwillingly. In what seemed to be a heartbeat but was probably a bit longer than that, she was standing in front of him.

"All right," she sighed in annoyance, "That was stupid and juvenile, but I get your point. You want to talk."

He nodded curtly.

"I'm here."

He did not respond and his eyes stayed intently focussed on her face as she spoke.

"So talk!" She said, speaking louder now.

When he finally spoke, his voice was hoarse and rough. "You probably don't like me very much right now."

She snorted, "That would be much the understatement."

"I don't know what to do to make it up to you," he continued.

"Don't you get it, Sirius? You can't make it up to me! You can't!" She cried.

He did not speak. Instead, he stuffed a hand into his pocket and pulled out a tissue. He handed it to her cordially, still not speaking.

She did not use it, not wanting to be left in his debt at all.

"I fucked up, Mel." His face and voice were anguished now.

"You do that a lot," she commented harshly. She had meant for the statement to come out jokingly, but it sounded malicious and hurtful even to her own ears. "I'm sorry, that was…"

"I fucked up!" He yelled, interrupting her apology, "And I'm sorry!"

She looked at him for a while, judging his sincerity. Then, finally, she nodded.

"Then…" his voice trailed off as he bent down onto one knee. She knew what he was going to do before he had even moved, but it did not make the gesture any less painful. It hurt that he would even think of trying this, to mend what they had had. In her mind it was all past tense, but she knew that he would never accept that their relationship had run its course.

He reached slowly into his pocket and pulled out a black box. He opened it slowly, allowing the ring to sparkle in the half-light.

"Melissa Anderson." He pronounced her name carefully, like one trying on a garment for the first time. "Will you... Would you do me the honour of being my wife?"

He faltered as he saw the hard set of her mouth. He had thought that she would forgive him and accept the ring back. But he had been wrong.

And then, for the second time in minutes, she turned her back on him and walked away.

Sorry I haven't updated in AGES, I've been on holiday with no internet access!!

xx

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