A/N: So this chapter originally ended up being a bit long, so I am splitting it into two chapters.
There was a lot that needed to be said, especially since we get to find out a little bit more about Bella's past.
Please keep reviewing and check out the Reader's Questions Section.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight
Chapter 17
BPOV
When I got back to my dorm room, I dropped my purse at the foot of my bed and sat on the end.
"I'm fucked." I whispered to myself. And it was true. I was completely and utterly infatuated with my sex god of a mentor. All I thought about on my walk back from the Behavioral Sciences building were the types of scenarios that would involve us being together and the thought of him possibly being my first was more and more appealing as distance separated us.
I kicked off my flats and fell back on the bed as I bit my lip, lost in thought. How the hell would I be able to think properly when I would be around him at least four days a week? I wanted to crawl under the covers of my bed and dwell more on that, but my cell phone decided to ring at that moment.
I sat up and dug into my purse and retrieved the annoying electronic device, ready to through it against the wall, when I read the caller ID. Quickly I opened my cell to answer.
"Hey Jazz." Even I could hear the slight smile in my tone. Jasper had always made things comfortable and easy-going ever since I first met him.
"Hey Bella, how's my favorite girl doing?"
"Well, I'm sure your mother and sister would love to know you prefer me over them. " I giggled.
"Oh um, well, how's one of my favorite girls doing then." I laughed heartedly.
"I'm fine, just got done in my first class for today and relaxing in my room. What's up?"
"Well, I was just thinking about getting some lunch and wanted to know if you wanted to join me."
"Sure, I don't have anything until 2, I'd love to." And I meant it.
"Ok, well I'm just about five minutes away, so come down and I'll pick you up." I said my short goodbye and put my shoes back on. After a quick check in the mirror and an application of lip gloss I was heading down to the lobby. As I passed the front desk, I heard the sound of a loud scoff. I turned my head in the direction of the person it came from and was not surprised to see Tanya behind the computer I had been used to seeing her at. I imagined she spent most of the day looking at clothing stores and gossip sites. She glared at me when our eyes met and flipped her hair over her shoulder as she muttered "Whatever."
I decided not to think too much of it, especially when I saw Jaspers blue Lexus IS idling outside. I bounded down the steps and slid in to the passenger seat.
"Someone is happy to see me today." Jasper chuckled as he pulled away from the curb and off campus.
"You know me too well Jazz. Lunches with you are the only things that keep me going." I jokingly punched him in the arm and he feigned being hurt.
"Ok, Evander, you in the mood Chinese today?" I was playing with the dial of his radio; he had it on some country station when I first took my seat. I knew it was probably rude to do so without asking, but I never cared for that style of music, and I ended up on a channel that played classic rock. "You know, if you were anyone else I would have kicked you out of my car for changing stations, but I like you too much to do that." I turned to look at him and saw his eyes look at me in a side glance. There was a slight flash of red in his cheeks as if he said something that embarrassed him and then he looked away.
"Well, I'm just trying to expand your taste in music is all, and Chinese sounds great." I leaned back in my seat and watched out my window as the city went by in a blur. It seemed that everyone here was always in a hurry, at least while driving. Both Jasper and Alice drove like maniacs when I would ride in their cars. They had a lot in common with each other and I really hoped that my two new friends would meet soon because something in the back of my mind knew they would get along.
It was comfortably quiet and relaxing for a few more minutes until we pulled into the parking lot of a small Chinese restaurant. Jasper held the door open for me and I thanked him as we entered. The entire place was red and gold and covered in artwork and statues. Not what I had been expecting from the outside appearance. Just made me appreciate the phrase of never judging a book by its cover. We took our seats in a small booth in the back of the room and looked over the selection of food, everything sounded good.
"What are you going to get?" I looked over my menu at Jasper who had already set his down.
"I always get the sweet and sour pork and wonton soup. What about you?" He smiled at me as he waited for my response. There was a slight look in his eye that made me think something was up.
"Um, I'm torn between the Kung Po Chicken and the Beef and Broccoli."
"You can get both and take home what you don't eat."
I thought about it, "Nah, I think I'll just get the chicken." He nodded his head and rested his arm on the back of his seat as he continued to look at me. Our waitress came over and took our order and hurried back to the kitchen after taking back our menus. "So, how's work going? Any new major accounts?" I took a sip of my water that was sitting in front of me.
"It's going. I got the account for that trip I went on a few weekends ago and then I have a dinner meeting this Friday to finalize the contracts. How about you, your first class was with Edward, right? How was that?"
How was it in Edward's class? Fantastic, wonderful, dream worthy, he makes me think about naughty things I want to do with him, "It was fine." I shrugged my shoulders to play off that nothing too much happened. Oh expect for the fact I was possibly falling for my mentor. I shook my head to clear my mind of that thought and laughed to myself.
"What? What's so funny?" Jasper leaned over the table closer to me. I quickly came up with a reason for my laugh.
"Nothing, I just found out why Dr. Cullen's class is so popular is all. The female population of the Undergraduate class certainly do have a special appreciation for him." I thought back to the group of girls that accosted Edward after class.
"Oh I'm sure. My sister Rose tells me how women always seem to throw themselves at him whenever he's out visiting her in New York. But he just ignores him. I guess he's always has since his incident a few years ago." He took a sip from his water glass and looked in the direction of the kitchen as the waitress came back and sat a cup of wonton soup in front of Jasper and a cup of egg drop soup in front of me.
What did Jasper mean by incident? "Jazz, what incident? Did something happen to Dr. Cullen?" I was suddenly very concerned and I set my spoon down on the table, unable to eat at the moment, my insides chewing at my stomach.
"I'm not sure exactly what happened. Rose told me a while ago that there had been some sort of incident he and his girlfriend were involved in. He was severely injured afterwards and she passed away. I'm not sure of the exact details to be honest because no one is entirely sure. Rose told me that when her fiancé, Emmett, told her, he was only able to give details that had been released from the police during the investigation. Edward didn't even talk to his family for a few years afterwards and once he finally reconciled with them, he just didn't tell anyone anything. And I guess the whole thing kind of put him off from getting involved with anyone, which is understandable." He ate the rest of his soup and acted as if the story he told me was just an everyday sort of conversation.
I tentatively sipped my soup and mulled over what I just heard. Edward lost someone he cared for, possibly someone that he loved. It left him broken so much he didn't talk to his family for a while. I couldn't even imagine what pain he had gone through. Sure I lost my mother and I loved her very much, but I was young, and my father and my friends were there for me. Edward cut himself off from pretty much everyone. Of course I understood that he would not be interested in romantic relationship after going through that, but I couldn't help but feel disappointed because that would mean he would never want to be with me. Seriously, stop thinking such things. Dr. Cullen would never be interested anyways, he's too smart, and beautiful and too good for you.
It was quiet again until our main course arrived. When our food was set in front of us, Jasper picked up his fork and poked at the pork on his plate for a little bit before setting it back down on his dish. He took a deep breath as if he was calming his nerves and then looked up at me as I shoved a bite of Kung Po Chicken in my mouth.
"So, I was wondering if you had any plans this Thursday night." Jasper played with his fork waiting for me to respond.
I chewed my food and swallowed, "I just have a meeting with Dr. Cullen at 6:30, but after that I'm free. I was just going to catch up on some reading and then call it a night. Why?" I had been planning to read Esme's copy of Pride and Prejudice so I could return it soon.
"Well, I was wondering if you would like to join me for dinner that night…" He looked down at his water glass briefly and then back to meet my eyes, "As a date that is."
I choked a little on some remaining food in my mouth and grabbed for my water. I was not expecting that.
"Are you ok?" Jasper asked and it looked like he was about to rush over to give me the hymlic maneuver.
"I'm fine." I croaked out. I was processing that Jasper, my new friend, asked me out to dinner, in a way that was more that as two friends. He was an attractive man; I acknowledged that when I first met him and he always treated me with respect and was a complete gentleman.
"Well, I totally understand if you don't want to. I mean, I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship. It's just, I really like you Bella, and I would be so honored if you said yes." I saw the sadness in his eyes and knew he was preparing for me to turn him down.
In the past, the only person I had ever gone on a date with was Jacob and we had a relationship for over four years after that. Even after we decided to end our romantic relationship, I had never once accepted a date, feeling as though I wasn't ready. But as I sat looking at the defeated look on my new friend set further in, I told myself it was time to move on. When I agreed to come out to Chicago it was for me to go out and do something for myself, to find me and to start living my life on my own. And that included moving on and dating.
"Jasper." I whispered, ready to answer him. I reached over and took his hand in mine and he looked up at me.
"It's ok, Bella. I understand." He gave a slight smile.
I gave his hand a slight squeeze and a smile back. "Jasper, I think I would really like to accept you invitation."
I saw the hurt in his eyes disappear instantly and small twinkle replace it. And a small smile grew on him. He flipped his hand over and took my hand to his mouth and gave a slight kiss. "Thank you, Bella, Thank you." And then he let me go and we finished our lunch while talking about my upcoming classes and buildings Jasper worked on back in Texas.
When Jasper dropped me off back at my hall, he leaned over to my side and gave a slight peck on my cheek before we said goodbye. He said he would call me tomorrow and to let him know how my first Master's course went, which I promised I would. When I was on the sidewalk waving as Jasper drove off, I had a feeling of nervousness for Thursday night. I wasn't exactly sure what to expect, and if this would completely ruin whatever friendship we had already in place. However, I also felt a sense of disappointment because even though I did like Jasper, he wasn't the one person I wished I was going on a date with, and I quietly chastised myself for it as I marched up to my room to get ready for my first Master's course.
The rest of the day was a haze to me, I went to my Clinical course with Professor Duvall, and then was on call for the dorm, so I ordered a pizza and Alice stopped by to watch movies with me, waiting to be interrupted by students and their problems.
"Bella, you seem a bit out of it today. First day not go so well?" She picked up a slice of the pepperoni pizza.
"No, it was actually pretty good, just thinking about things." I popped open a can of soda and took a swig. The carbonation caused a slight hiccup.
"What things?"
"Well I went to lunch with Jazz today and he sort of asked me out on a date for Thursday."
"I knew he would." She giggled.
"You did?" She just nodded and bounced a little on the bed. "Well shit, Alice, give a girl a heads up sometimes. I was completely thrown off."
"Oh come off it Bella. I never met the man, but he calls you all the time and you go to lunch with him enough that most people would already consider you two dating. From what you've told me about him, he sounds good for you. I know you said it's been awhile, but I think it will be just fine." That little pixie, always saying the right thing to make me feel better.
"I guess. I am just worried that if it doesn't work out I'll have lost a good friend, and I don't have many of those out here, besides you of course." I winked at her at the last part.
"Everything will work out the way it's supposed to be. If it's not meant to be… then who gives a fuck, right?" She was blunt but I appreciated it.
Thankfully I only had three students come by my room for help that night. A male resident had locked himself out of his room and I had to open it for him, a female resident needed help finding the laundry room and my final visitor was a student name Seth. He was a sophomore I helped check in during move in last week, and he asked me for my personal phone number in case he needed my assistance, which I politely declined to give out. Alice was sitting on my bed, laughing her little ass off at the entire exchange. When he left and I shut the door, I turned to glare at her as she tried to contain her fit of hysterics.
"It's not funny Alice." I fumed.
"I think it is. Someone has a little crush on his RA." I rolled my eyes and told her I was going to bed. I said goodnight to her as she left and promised to keep her up to date on my Jasper situation.
Before I knew it, it was already Tuesday morning. I was to work the front desk of Hammond for three hours that morning before going to Lunch with Alice and then I had my Memory class with Dr. Cullen Sr.
When Alice and I parted ways after lunch, I packed up my backpack with my memory book and several blank notebooks. I was a bit nervous to get to Dr. Cullen Sr.'s course for some reason, He was just as well known as his son among my former professors back in Washington. I remembered reading an article of his in my senior capstone. Dr. Grady spoke of him with such reverence; I imagined she had an academic crush on him. If she had seen him in person, there would be no denying her attraction would grow tenfold. I remembered meeting him at the department party, and realized that Edward Cullen had defiantly inherited some good genes from that man.
I made it to the small classroom on the third floor a little early and took a seat near the front. It was common knowledge that Master's courses were relatively small in size, and neuropsychology was not a very popular field. In my cognitive class yesterday there were only four of us. A few minutes before the class started, Mike from the research team walked in and sashayed his way over to me.
"Hey there gorgeous. How's your first week going?" He bumped my shoulder with his, and pursed his lips in a silly pout.
"It's going alright. Already have my work cut out for my cognitive course, it's nice that Dr. Cullen's Developmental class is a breeze, just have to sit and wait in that class." I laughed.
"You are such a lucky bitch. I'm so god damn jealous. That man is just, ugh, sex incarnate, a dripping wet dream. I hope he bats for the same team." Mike looked lost in thought, and I'm pretty sure I knew what he was thinking. Probably the same thing I dreamt about every night for the last two and a half weeks.
"I don't think so Mike, sorry. From what I hear he prefers the fairer sex." I saw the look of disappointment as he tilted his head to rest in his hand.
"A girl can dream…" was all he said and I could not help the laughter that erupted out of me just as Carlisle Cullen entered the room. His eyes caught mine and a warm smile spread on his face and I saw a similar crooked smile his son had appear. I clamped my mouth shut to fight off the remaining laughs I held and my face blushed. It was going to be difficult to not think of Edward during this class since his father taught it and was a constant reminder of my dream man.
Carlisle called the class to order and went over the syllabus to class. I already had to read a hundred pages in the text before next week, and another paper was assigned to me. I would be locked in my room this weekend it seemed.
I was fascinated with all Carlisle had done in his career. Winning several awards in the psychology field and starting up several philanthropic organizations for neuro research. As he spoke of the medial temporal lobe for his first lecture, I grew more appreciative of my opportunity to be here. I had two of the best Neuropsychologist in the world helping me reach my education dream. Mike and the woman from the bookstore were right, I was a lucky bitch.
When the class finished two hours later, everyone started to exit the room, stretching their arms and legs from sitting so long. I packed up my bag and approached Dr. Cullen who was gathering his papers and putting them away.
"Excuse me, Professor Cullen?" I held the straps of my backpack that rested on my shoulders.
"Yes, Ms. Swan. It's a lovely surprise to have you in my course this semester." He took of the silver rimmed glasses he was wearing and placed them in his breast pocket of his dress shirt. I saw flecks of a familiar shade of green in his eyes and Edward's face flash in my mind.
"Yes, I was happily surprised to see I would have you as one of my professors this semester. I have to say it's an honor. I read some of your work in my undergrad studies in Washington, my professors spoke very highly of you."
"That's right. I believe a Dr. Grady uses some of my journals as part of her capstone course there. I think she has a thing for my brain." He winked at me and I giggled.
"Professor, I am just looking forward to this semester with you. I can't wait to get into it."
"Well, what are you looking forward to most? And please, pull up chair, I'm done for the day and we can stay here and chat a while." He gestured to the side of the front desk and I brought a chair from the side over and sat down, removing my bag.
"Honestly, everything. It's just always been fascinating to me. But more importantly I am excited for the section on Memory Rehabilitation. I think it would be very enlightening, and maybe might help with my thesis eventually."
Carlisle leaned back in his chair, it made a small squeak, "It's one of my favorite sections too." I could see that it was true, but I felt there was something behind his answer he wouldn't share as to why. "So you mentioned your thesis, have you already picked out a topic to present?"
Ever since my senior year in Washington State, I knew what I would want to write about if I ever got into Grad school. "Yes, I was hoping to focus on Neuropsychology and cognitive functioning in Person's with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The changes in brain wave activity while undergoing a short term memory assessment and a stress test assessment."
I couldn't understand the expression on Carlisle's face when I finished speaking. It was almost a mixture of concern and intrigue. "How long have you been thinking about this topic?"
"For some time, at least a couple of years. It is kind of personal in a way, but I feel I could gain some insight into it since I would like to work with PTSD cases in the future."
Carlisle leaned forward in his chair, and propped his elbows on his knees and held his face in his hands. "Do you mind if I ask why it's personal to you? I'm just curious is all."
I shook my head. "I don't mind discussing it with you." I took a deep breath because it was always very difficult me to tell my story. I usually didn't like to discuss it with strangers, but Carlisle reminded me a lot of my own father that I felt I could share with him.
"When I was about ten I lost my mother in a car accident." Carlisle quickly sat back up and held a grave look at me. "You see, I'm from a small logging town in Washington called Forks, and it rains pretty much every day there. My father is the police chief in town and my mother used to be a Sunday school teacher. We are all very happy, and my mother would always tell me how blessed we were to have each other. And I believed it too. We did so many things together, and I loved every moment of my time with them. My mother was actually my greatest confidant, and I would share everything with her.
"Growing up, I was always in and out of the hospital for cut, scrapes, broken bones and the lot. Still am for that matter. I was born a natural klutz which my mother always reassured me was inherited from my father's side. However as I grew older, I noticed that my mother was going to the doctors more often. She started to fall a lot around the house and at church and soon she matched me in my number of bruises. She would joke around with me as we compared our injuries. As her accidents continued to happen I started to think that she was the one I inherited the klutz gene from after all."
I stopped for a moment because I knew what I was going to say next. Carlisle remained silent and waited patiently for me to continue.
"So, like I said when I was about ten years old my mother took a pretty good spill one day while my father was off at work. She wasn't able to get off the floor some time and refused my help when I offered it. Finally when she got up she made a call to her doctor about coming in for a checkup, but the only availability they had was that day. My mother usually had my father drive her for her doctor visits because they were in a town over. He tended to drive us anywhere that required us to travel some distance. My mother only drove to and from the supermarket and church at most. I didn't know why at the time, but I eventually found out.
"I still remember my mother's face after her day when she was finished on the phone, this fall was different than the ones in the past and she was scared. My mother never showed that she was afraid of anything, so it was obvious that this was something serious. She agreed to see the doctor and tried to find someone to watch me so I wouldn't have to wait around in the office. After a few calls, she wasn't able to reach anyone or they were unavailable and was resigned to take me with her. I had never been to her doctor's office, and was anxious to go with her. It was just starting to rain outside and she bundled us up in our coats before she put me in the back seat of her car and her hands where trembling when she started the ignition. I thought nothing of it at the time, but I was too young to really know what happening with her.
"The rain started to come down heavier when we were about twenty minutes outside of the town. That was when it happened. My mother was taking a turn in the road and I was watching her in the rearview mirror."
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.
"That was when I saw my mother's eyes roll back into head and her face turned pale white as a ghost. It was probably one of the most frightening things I had ever seen. You see…" I swallowed hard. "It turns out that my mother had developed Epilepsy and her episodes were becoming more and more frequent, especially in her last few weeks.
"Well, when she went into this final seizure, her body was convulsing heavily and she never saw the other vehicle that was coming the other direction in the lane over. Our car crossed the over the road line and collided with the other vehicle, which caused ours to flip over a few rotations before stopping when it came in contact with a telephone pole." I could still see the way my mother's hair whirled around the cabin and hear her screams while the vehicle was rolling.
"I remember smelling blood when I came around finally when the car came to a stop and my mother's limp body in the front seat. I was yelling for her to wake up and she didn't. I tried again and still, no response. I was then able to unbuckle myself from my seat and crawled over to the front. My mother's eyes where close and blood dripped from her mouth. I shook her with as much force as I could, crying and trembling begging her to wake up. I knew she was dead, but I didn't want her to be.
"Soon enough I felt someone dragging me out of the car by my waist and I was still screaming. Screaming to get my mother, to bring her back for her to hold me and tell me we would be ok. I was covered in her blood and the EMTs on the scene were trying to sedate me so they could examine the extent of my injuries."
The tears were falling from my eyes and I tried to wipe them away. Carlisle handed me a handkerchief and I thanked him.
"My father arrived on the scene just as they were pulling my mother's body out and I saw him fall apart and crumble to the ground. I'd never seen him cry in my life, and it frightened me even more. I was struggling to get off the stretcher that they had me on and run over to my father, but they held me down and I felt a prick in my arm and that's when everything went black.
"When I woke up, I was in the hospital, my left leg in a cast, and my father was sitting next to my bed and holding his head in his hands. When he saw that I was awake, he told me that my mother was now in heaven. I cried some more and asked him why, why would God take her. I just didn't understand. He told me about my mother's condition and that the doctors had found out she had been having more seizures recently because she was pregnant. The stress on her body sent her nervous system into shock causing more episodes. So not only did I lose my mother, but I lost my baby brother or sister.
"For several months afterwards my father was not only suffering from the grief of losing his wife, but he was suffering with the pain I was going through. I started having vivid nightmares since the accident and they felt so real that when my father would come in to wake me from them, I would be confused that it hadn't happened. Each night I saw my mother's pale lifeless face, see her blood, my father's heartbreak from his loss and I would wake screaming to high heaven. Charlie, my father, didn't know what do with me. He told me he talked to a counselor at the station and they had suggested I go see a child psychologist. I met with the doctor several times a week after school and during our sessions she told me that I was having the nightmares because the accident was a very important and scary thing. That it would take me some time to get better from it not only physically but emotionally because it changed things. She said I was really sad about losing my mother and that my brain was having a hard time forgetting the accident. When I was older I knew that she was really saying I was experiencing post traumatic stress.
"I continued to see the doctor for some time, even into high school and the nightmares started to be less frequent, I still have them now and then, but now I'm lucky to only have them about once a month.
"When I started to attend college for my undergrad, I was enrolled as undecided in my major, but when I took a psychology course as a Gen-Ed requirement, something clicked and I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to take my experience I had, learn from it and help others. I hated what I went through. It was painful and even though I was young, I knew enough that no one should have to experience what I had."
I sniffed and wiped the remaining tears from my face.
"Well, that's it in a nutshell I guess." I gave a nervous laugh and blew my nose into the hanky.
Carlisle looked at me with sadness in his eyes, I was expecting him to say he was sorry for my loss or something similar along those lines. Most people I shared my story with did.
"Have you told Edward about your thesis yet?" I froze and looked up at him, confused at what he just asked.
"Um, no, we haven't discussed it yet. I was planning to bring it up in one of our mentor sessions soon."
He looked down at his feet for a moment lost in thought. And then her looked back up at me and nodded his head. "Thank you for sharing that with me Ms. Swan. I know it was probably difficult to share, being as we don't know each other that well."
I grinned slightly. "You remind me of my father in some ways Professor, so telling you about her wasn't as bad as it has been in the past. Do you mind if I hold on to your handkerchief until I can return it to clean?" I held up the small cloth.
"Of course. Keep it for however long you like." He sat up straighter in his chair and gave a soft cough. "So tell me Ms. Swan, is my son already driving you crazy with his work for his developmental course?" He started to stand and picked up some more papers and put them in his case.
"No, at least not yet." I stood up and slung my bag over my shoulder.
"I do wish I had him as my instructor when I took that course as an undergrad. I love his class." I realized what I had just said and could feel my face blush red. I tried to recover, "He's very intelligent, and he makes the subject fascinating with the detail he puts into his lecture. I mean, we just covered the history of the field on the first day and I was blown away. Pretty sure he'll be tearing my thesis to shreds when I get started. But in all honesty, having his input will be worth all the nervous breakdowns I'll probably go through writing and re-writing it." I laughed.
Carlisle closed his case and looked up at me with a bemused smile. "Well, I certainly hope that everything works out well for you and for Dr. Cullen. And just let me know if he starts riding you hard with his demands. He's known to be a bit particular about things. Scared off a few of his former TAs in the past."
As soon as Carlisle mentioned about Edward riding me hard, I immediately imagined myself straddling the younger Cullen in his office chair wearing nothing but a smile. I felt my entire body tingle at the thought. I couldn't let my attraction to Edward distract me anymore.
I couldn't help but think about what Carlisle had said about him scaring off his TA's in the past. He seemed to me to be pretty accommodating, and pretty level headed. "Really? Hmm, he doesn't scare me. He's actually been rather kind to me, especially when I nearly took him out with my acts of clumsiness around him. I can barely walk a straight line sometimes, even on flat surfaces. It surprised me when he actually convinced me to stay."
"What do you mean by that? Convinced you to stay? Where were you going?" He raised an eyebrow.
I gulped. "Well I had some doubts about staying here, but Dr. Cullen said that I deserved to be here and that it would be unfair to the research team and him if I left. He said he wouldn't have it for me to go because he would need my help with all his work. I realized he was right and that my doubts in staying were rather irrational and, well, I'm still here."
"Hmm, interesting." Carlisle's eyes darted side to side as if he was solving some sort of math problem.
"What's interesting professor?"
"Nothing, don't worry about it." He looked at his watch and I realized we had been here for a while, he probably needed to go home for dinner with Esme or something along those lines.
"Oh, I'm sorry for keeping you Dr. Cullen. I'll let you go for the night." I stuck out my hand to shake his which he returned. "I can't wait until next class." I turned to leave the classroom.
"Take care Ms. Swan." He called as I exited.
When I got back to my room I helped myself to some left over pizza. I gave Jake a quick call to catch up and fell asleep watching an ESPN recap on a Mariner's game. Again I dreamt of Edward that night. Ever since the first time we met, my usual random dreams were replaced by the most sensual and arousing I had in my entire night and each night they would become more and more real to me. Often I would wake up panting and out of breath.
I woke up Wednesday with a shit eating grin when my alarm went off. I would be spending a majority of the day in his presence and it bright a bounce to my steps as I showered and dressed for the day. I had extra time this morning and made a stop at the student union coffee shop and picked up a muffin and coffee. I finished quickly and headed over to the lecture hall. When I arrived, Edward was already there setting up, his back to the door and looking over his notes on the front desk.
I approached him to ask if he needed any help with today's lecture. I would do anything for this man, and that thought was scary.
I tapped his shoulder and he turned to face me. "Morning Dr. Cullen. I was just wondering if…" but I didn't finish my question. I saw the dark circles under Edward's eyes and those were blood-shot as well, as if he hadn't slept the night before.
"Dr. Cullen, is everything ok?" I stepped forward and my hand immediately moved to touch his arm, but I stopped halfway and brought it back to my side.
"I'm fine, Ms. Swan. Just had a bad night sleep is all. Is there something you needed?" He ran his hand through his hair and I noticed his clothes were a bit loose on him as if they weren't his.
"I, uh, just wanted to know if you needed any help with the lecture this morning." I stared at him as he looked away to his lecture notes.
He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes in what seemed to be frustration. "No, I think I will be ok. Thank you for asking." He turned and went to the white board.
"Any time." I mumbled and walked away to take my seat by the window.
The entire lecture I tried my best to pay attention and listen to questions student posed, but I couldn't concentrate. There was sadness in Edward's eyes as he spoke, and his energy from the first day was not there. I was looking at a completely different man. As the hour went on it looked as if he was purposely trying to avoid looking in my direction for some reason and I had the impression that I might have done something wrong. I kept going over and over in my mind thinking about what could have made Edward so upset and look so tired.
When the classes ended for the day, I felt that it would not be wise to stick around, no matter how much I craved to be in his presence. That it would be better to leave and see how he was later today at the meeting, maybe he just needed to have lunch and relax in his office.
I was almost to the door when I heard him call my name.
"Ms. Swan, can I speak with you for a moment?"
I sighed and turned around. He was standing by the podium looking at some papers he was shuffling in his hands.
"Ms. Swan, I want to let you know that I will not be able to be at the research meeting today. My father will be attending in my place, so if you have any questions, he should be able to answer them and he will inform me about it when I speak with him." He refused to look up at me as he spoke.
I was upset to say the least, "Is everything okay?" I whispered.
"Yes, I just have a doctor's appointment is all. I should be fine for our meeting Thursday evening." I nodded taking in what he just said.
"I hope everything is alright. We'll miss you." Shit. I did not just say that.
Again, he pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a loud sigh. "I will see you later Ms. Swan." And with that he packed up his things quickly ran out of the room leaving me standing there in disbelief.
I met Alice for lunch and when we finished we stopped at the campus post office. I had yet to check mine yet, but I didn't expect much to be in there. But then I remembered what the date was and prayed my box would empty.
"24….11….28…2…" I turned the dial combination and it clicked open. There staring at me in the face were two brightly colored envelopes. I knew the significance of them being there and quickly tired to shove them in my backpack without Alice noticing. Thankfully she was distracted with a fashion magazine she received. I went to close my mail box when I saw a small slip of paper still inside. I pulled it out and saw it was a notification of a package for me. I tried to think of who would send me one. Charlie would have told me if he was sending me something right?
I closed my mail box and walked over to the small window I was told to take the slip to. I handed the slip to the mailroom attendant and waited for him to get my package when Alice came up and stood next to me.
"What's up? Why are you at the window?" She tried to lean over the counter to look in the back, but she was too short to do it successfully.
"Nothing, I just have a package. No biggie, probably a shirt of mine Charlie found in the laundry." At least that was what I hoped it was.
When the mailroom attendant came back, I signed for it and he placed it in my hands. One look at the box and I knew this was not a shirt of mine Charlie sent. Someone had drawn balloons and had scribbled in large letters "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" on it. I groaned at the monstrosity.
"Oh my god!" Alice screeched. "It's you freaking birthday, and you didn't tell me!"
"Shh, Alice, we are in public, please remember that." We left the post office and headed over for the meeting.
"Bella, how come you didn't tell me it was your birthday?" She sounded hurt.
"I just don't like to make a big deal out of it. I hate the attention to be honest. It's just another day, so what if I'm a year older. Besides, I don't need anything."
Alice huffed and I could tell she was annoyed. "So when is it. The actual date."
I didn't know if I should tell her or not. If I did, I had a gut feeling she would plan something, but if I didn't I would hurt her more and I couldn't do that to her. "It's the 13th, Sunday."
"Hmmm." I knew the wheels were turning in the pixie's head.
We took our seats in the lab and I set the large box on the table to look at it better. The return address told me everything. Sue Clearwater had always been like a second mother to me since mine had passed, and every year she would always make me my own private batch of her delicious brownies for my birthday. That tradition didn't stop this year evidentially, even being halfway across the U.S.. When I figured out what could be in there I immediately ripped the box open without hesitation. There sat another colored envelope, and my brownies. I tossed the card in my backpack and quickly opened the Tupperware container inside and popped a piece of chocolaty goodness in my mouth.
"MMMMM oh god." I moaned as Mike sat down next me at that moment, snickering at my reaction.
"Someone seems to be having a foodgasm, from the looks of it." I nodded my head and joyfully chewed my present. "Maybe I could have one too." He went to reach for one and I quickly slapped his hand away.
"Mine." My muffled, since I was still chewing and savoring the first piece. Alice giggled.
"Please…" he pouted his lips and batted his puppy eyes at me.
"Oh fine, but just one." I placed a brownie in his outstretched palm and he bowed to me in thanks. Another tiny hand shot out in front of me and I placed a piece in Alice's hand and she thanked me. The sounds of food induced bliss surrounded me as the rest of the team asked for their own brownie to enjoy. I was thankful to still have a bit left over to enjoy on my own.
"So what's the occasion, Bella." Angela was nibbling her brownie.
"It's for her birthday!" Alice exclaimed. I shot her a look trying to convey that I wasn't speaking to her anymore, but she only laughed and finished her brownie.
"Oh really? That's wonderful. Are you doing anything special for it?" Angela wiped the corner of her mouth to remove traces of the desert.
"No, I usually don't do anything. I was telling Alice earlier I usually don't like to. At most, my father used to just order pizza so I wouldn't have to cook. That was celebration enough for me." I popped another piece in my mouth.
"I think we should go out! It's your birthday, everyone has to go out for their birthday!" I heard mumbling of agreement with Alice's statement.
"Ugh, I know you won't give up, but I'm on call Sunday, so I can't go out, besides, I have class the following day."
"Well, how about Friday? Are you on call then? It may not be on the actual day, but you wouldn't have classes the next morning." Alice knew my schedule and I laughed that she had even asked.
"I guess, you know you are twisting my arm here." Everyone laughed at my frustration.
"Yea! Angela, Ben, you guys can come right?" They nodded their heads. "And Mike?" She looked over the table at him.
"Of course Pix. Wouldn't miss it." Mike winked at me and I fumed even more. Great, more people to embarrass me.
"And you could invite Jasper, I'm sure he would love to be there. Besides, I've been dying to meet your potential boy-toy." Alice giggle.
"ALICE BRANDON!" I can't believe she just said that in front of the team. Making me look like some kind of floozy. I slouched down in my chair as my face grew red. I noticed Ben and Angela exchange a quick look and then excused themselves when Carlisle Cullen walked in. It was time for our meeting to start and today we would be going over the computer program we would use to enter in data. We went right into using the computers with little introduction. Every so often I saw Carlisle look over at me from the corner of his eye and then back to the Cheney's as they talked about exporting data into pie and bar charts. It was somewhat odd and I started to think about Edward away at a doctor's appointment and if he was ok. Maybe he was coming down with something. Would it be inappropriate to bring his chicken soup to our meeting tomorrow?
Alice was passing notes to me during the meeting to try and nail down a time and place for my birthday celebration. I told her I didn't know any places around town and told her to pick. In the end it was decided to have dinner at Karma, a nearby sushi restaurant and then to go clubbing at Versailles, a brand new swank night spot, according to Alice. I just hoped I wasn't expected to dance. That would be something to ruin the night.
I called Jasper when got out of the meeting. He apologized that he hadn't called earlier he said that his firm has been working like crazy preparing for some major projects and he that he even had to miss his lunch since he was stuck in meetings. I told him it was alright, his work was really important to him. I agreed to have Jasper pick me up at 7:30 on Thursday for our date, we were going to go to a little bistro and then we would go to a nearby park to watch Shakespeare in the Park. I told him it sounded wonderful, and it did. I would read the plays in high school for fun, so I was really looking forward to the performance. Before I hung up I mentioned Alice's plan for my impromptu birthday soiree. He said he had his work dinner, but he would defiantly try and make it to Versailles. He told me he was looking forward to our date and that he would call me later.
I had a hard time falling asleep that night. I continued to think about how upset Edward looked when I saw him in his class. I wished there was something I could have done to have seen his smile again.
It was well after 3am when I finally slipped into unconsciousness, and for the first time since I had arrived in Chicago, I didn't dream of him. Instead, my mother visited me in my sleep. It wasn't the usual nightmares I had about her since the accident. This time it was different.
We were sitting on the front porch of the house in Forks, and she was holding my hand. It was slightly raining and we were looking out to watch the sunset when she turned to me and smiled. She told me that it was time to let go and kissed my forehead as she used to do when I needed her as a child. I cried into her shoulder as she told me I would be fine, that everything would be fine. She told me that she loved me but I had to let her go because I needed to help others. When I asked who needed me, she told me I would know, that they would come to me when it was time. I then blinked back tears that were in my eyes, but when I opened them she was gone. Vanished into thin air, but in her place a Hooded Warbler was perched on the back of the chair where she had sat. It was small and fluffy as the one I had seen before, but his wing was broken, and was crying a sad sort of song. It needed care or it would surely not survive. I was concerned for the little guy, but as I reached out to touch it, everything faded away and I was left alone in the dark.
Next chapter will have "the date" and Bella's birthday.
Readers Questions
Q. Is Irina Dead?
A. Yes, she died in the incident 10 years ago.
Q. Is Edward responsible for her death?
A. No, but he feels that he is.
Q. When you saw Edward was in "rehab" does that mean he was institutionalized?
A. No, he was in rehabilitation for his injuries, but he was under psychiatric care at one point that will be discussed in the future.
Q. In Breaking Dawn, Irina and Tanya were sisters. Are they sisters in BtB?
A. No, they are not related in BtB.
This is one question I have been asked a lot lately.
Q. Please stop torturing Edward. When will he and Bella finally get together?
A. Soon.
Thank you for all your reviews. Please keep sending in your questions
Also, I am currently working on chapter one of Streets of Blood. So keep a lookout for it being posted soon.