A/N: Hey guys, sorry it's been forever since I've updated. Been sort of catching up on reading and such.

So here is chapter 20. Sorry it's short, I promise to try and update with the next part soon.

And please don't hate me if you don't like some things that develops. Blame the characters. They have a mind of their own it seems. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight

Chapter 20

One Month Later, Thursday October 8, 2009

BPOV

Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot.

Step, push off, step, push off.

Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.

Just keep running.

Push on. Fight through the burn, accept the pain.

Don't stop. Hold back the tears. Hold them in.

Don't think about it, just go, just run. Just fucking run!

I was making the turn of my last lap on the campus track to finish my third mile for the day. This was part of my new daily routine for the past month after I finished my classes when I had time between being on call. It was one of the only times during the day I didn't allow myself to think about my life, especially not of my time here since I arrived in Chicago. It was just me, my music and racing with the wind. I knew this was avoidance, but it was better the pain my heart felt. This was the only time I felt true comfort while being alone in my heart and mind since that night.

I wasn't afraid that James would be coming after me. That was the farthest thing from my mind since that situation was now being taken care of in the judicial courts of Boston, San Diego, Kansas City and Austin. The next time James would probably see the light of day was looking to be about at least two lifetimes away. Something all of us were shocked to discover when The Reader came out a week after the incident. Turns out that James Cramer wasn't all who he seemed to be.

Killer Hotel Lover Extradited and Faces Multiple Lives Behind Bars

By Francine DeWitt – Crime Log

Coeds in Chicago can breathe a sigh of relief for one less terror off the streets since the infamous "Killer Hotel Lover" was finally taken into custody late on Friday, September 11. After an anonymous call, Chicago police were dispatched to the hip new night club, Versailles, in response to an attempted sexual assault that evening. When police arrived on the scene, the suspect was found unconscious in the back alley of the night club, where the possible victim was waiting for their arrival with her party and several club employees. After questioning the intended victim, whose name is being withheld at this time, the suspect was identified as one, James Cramer. Cramer has current outstanding warrants for sexual assault and homicide in Massachusetts, California, Texas and other states pending further investigation. The suspect had eluded capture for the last five years with the help of assuming several aliases and posing as a student where ever he had resided during that time frame.

It turns out James Cramer's luck finally wore out last Friday after his final attempt was foiled by an unknown Good Samaritan. The victim recounted that Cramer had surprised her while she was returning from the ladies room in the club and was pulled outside through a back exit into the alley. Supposedly the suspect, who had been posing as a Resident advisor at the University of Chicago, had a previous encounter with the victim at a hotel downtown a week earlier where she had protected her friend from becoming another victim, making the suspect desire retaliation. Thankfully the victim suffered no major injuries when an unknown man approached the two and incapacitated Cramer with several blows, leaving him near an industrial trash receptacle. Once police arrived, the victim's statement was taken and Cramer was brought to a local hospital where he was treated for his injuries and a blood sample was taken to determine if any narcotics or alcohol were found in his system and also to help with confirming his identity. Once the sample was run through trace, the current warrants associated with the famous "Killer Hotel Lover" surfaced when DNA matched samples from the crime scenes.

Many can recall the first of the "Lover" homicides occurred in San Diego, California back in 2004 where a USCSD undeclared student by the name of Julia Freemont (19) was found sexually assaulted and strangled to death by bed sheets in a local hotel. Freemont's body was discovered when maid service was cleaning the room that was charged to a James Carmichael. Several months later, Hannah Monte (22), Boston University Physics major, was discovered in the same fashion. Over the course of the following years at least three other victims surfaced across the states associated with the "Killer Hotel Lover". Cramer was extradited to California Thursday to face the first of many trials that await him. It is believed that he will be found guilty on all 17 charges filed against him which can total 205 years to life behind bars, and possibly a death row sentence in Texas.

In the last 15 years, this reporter has seen and written many an article on such cases and I know I am not alone in saying many thanks to you, the Good Samaritan, who helped to put this monster finally behind bars. I am sure that the potential victim you protected that night will forever be in your debt for saving her life along with all the others that might have fallen victim as well if Cramer had not been caught.

Francine DeWitt was right in her assumption. I was forever in debt to my savior, no doubt about that. How could you not be after finding out your life could have been tainted and then taken away by a serial rapist and murderer? The only problem was the Good Samaritan told me to lie and not mention I knew who was there and to forget everything that happened afterwards. But how can you forget the most incredible kiss of your entire life with a man who is beyond otherworldly and the epitome of perfection? The answer is you can't.

I saved the article from that issue. Not to remind me that I had escaped death again in my life, but because it tied me to Ed-, no, Dr. Cullen. If I couldn't acknowledge what happened out loud, I wanted something to remind me of that night, even if it wasn't under the best of circumstances.

After we had parted for air from the kiss we shared, I began losing myself in his eyes when I saw his start to panic. He told me to call one of my friends who were still in the club and wait with them and one of the bouncers until the police arrived who he would call anonymously. I silently agreed and after I was able to reach Mike and asked him to come out with Andrew, Dr. Cullen told me that I was to not say a word that he saved me… ever. He also told me that we were to never mention that night ever again and he left me standing at the end of the alley near the street, departing with a very cold "Be Safe, Ms. Swan." over his shoulder before he disappeared into the night.

Andrew had spotted me first as I was crying and staring after the man who had just thrown me through a loop of emotions in a matter of minutes. Mike and Andrew wrapped me in their arms to keep warm from shock while a few of the bouncers and a cocktail waitress waited outside with us. The larger of the bouncers closely watched James while I told the edited version of what I had gone through to Mike who rubbed my shoulder in comfort.

It wasn't even ten minutes when the first police cruiser pulled up, quickly calling in for an ambulance and some back up to take in the crime scene. I told the police officer that was in charge my "account" of what happened, saying I never saw the face of the man that saved me because I was balled up on the ground crying. It was partly true, but still a lie. I told them that James had bit me, and a few pictures were taken of the bruise that started to surface already, along with samples underneath my nails to see if I had scraped any skin cells from James during the attack. I told them that he had tried to take advantage of my friend the previous week at a hotel and my actions towards him that day and how he told me I deserved what he was going to do to me.

While I was giving my statement and being examined, the boys were pacing back and forth, calling Alice, Ben, and I gave Andrew my phone to call Jasper because he was supposed to have been on his way that night. After they loaded James into the ambulance to head to the hospital, the officer took my number to contact me in case I was needed for further questioning. Both of the Cheney's hugged me and told me to call if I needed anything and Mike and Andrew waited with me since Jasper insisted on taking me back to my hall. When he finally arrived he enveloped me in a hug as I broke down in tears again, tears in no way related to James, but I never said anything, like I promised. We stood there for a while until the police allowed us to leave. I was still shaking and crying as Jasper led me to his car when he asked me if I wanted to stay at his place where he would take the couch and offered me his bed, to which I agreed. I didn't want to be alone that night and he probably already knew that.

We drove in tense silence, as I sniffed every so often once I started to finally calm down. Jasper's apartment building was a newer modern one that required a security code to enter the parking area and to the lobby of the building. With his arm wrapped around me securely, he led me to the elevator and we rode up to the seventh floor. Once Jasper opened the door to his apartment, he ushered me inside and offered me a seat on his couch while he went to get me some clothes to change into and a glass of water. While he was gone I looked around the room, taking it all in. His décor was very different then the exterior of the building. Outside it was cold, impersonal, and steel, while here in Jasper's place was warm, with rich wood furniture and classic pieces. There were several pieces of Civil War artwork hung around the room and architecture and historical magazines atop the wood and glass coffee table. Before I got too comfortable on his brown leather couch, Jasper reemerged from his bedroom with a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and a clean athletic shirt. He handed me those before he walked into his kitchen where he poured a glass of water and returned to sit with me on the couch handling me the glass.

"Thank you Jasper." I gulped down almost the entire glass. Jasper was staring at me, evaluating my state of mind silently. I could see the gears in his mind working overtime.

"Are you okay, darlin'? Do you need me to get you anything else?" He pushed a strand of my hair off my face and placed it behind my ear. His touch was gentle, but lacking the energy of the previous person who had done the same action.

"I think I'm fine for now, at least. A little shaken up, but mostly tired." I let my eyes fall to the glass and swirled the water around, watching the ripples I created. Jasper continued to run his fingers through my hair still gazing over me, it was actually kind of nice and I did feel myself start to relax slightly.

"I'm here if you need to talk Bella. I know what you went through tonight was a lot, but if you need someone to listen, I will." I looked up at into his baby blue eyes and saw the sincerity behind them. Jasper did care about me. Maybe I was too quick to dismiss a relationship with him. I did like spending time with him, he may not be my first choice, but I'd rather be with someone that wanted to be with me, than someone that wanted to pretend nothing happened. "Are you tired? Do you want to go to bed? I can get my room ready for you and I think I have a spare toothbrush you can use." He tired to give a smile to reassure me.

I was tired, but more emotionally than physically. I really didn't want to go to bed quite yet, for fear of what I might see once my eyes shut. "No, can we… can we maybe watch a movie, I'm not ready to sleep yet." I tucked my chin to my chest and clutched the water glass tighter.

"Of course darlin'." He leaned over and kissed my forehead sweetly. "What are you up to seeing?"

No horror, that's for sure, dramas were risky at the moment, not sure of the content, and defiantly no romantic movies in anyway. "Um, do you have a funny movie, like one that is just like a stupid comedy? Something that is light." I quietly answered.

"Sure. You stay right here and I'll set it up." I nodded as he kissed my head once again and then got up to put in a DVD.

I snuggled into Jasper's chest as he held me throughout the entire movie. His arm warming mine in an up and down motion and as the movie started to finish, I could feel the pull of sleep as my eyelids started to become heavy. I let out an audible yawn as the credits began to scroll.

"You ready for bed Miss Bella?" Jasper gave me a slight squeeze as I tried to sit up a little.

"Mmhmm." Was my brilliant response.

We both slowly stood up and Jasper led me to his room to show me to the bathroom and he handed me a new toothbrush. He then left me, closing the door behind him as I started to get ready for bed. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, changed into the clothes Jasper gave me and pulled my hair up into a ponytail to sleep in. I stood in his bathroom for a while looking into the mirror. My eyes were red from crying that night, and more flat than ever. I breathed hard as I pulled the collar of the shirt down my shoulder to see the mark James left on me. It would be there for some time and I would need to make sure I had some shirts and outfits that covered it. Alice would probably insist on a shopping trip, and for the first time in my life, I probably wouldn't mind.

When I exited the bathroom Jasper was sitting on his bed with another glass of water and held it out for me along with some aspirin. I thanked him and took the pills with a drink of water to help them down. Jasper pulled the comforter of his bed down for me as I set my water on the night stand.

"Bella, I'm going to be on the couch so if you need anything, please just give a shout and I'll be right in okay?" He pulled me into a hug and I breathed him in. He didn't smell as good as Dr. Cullen, but it was still nice. I looked up into Jasper's eyes once more for the night and all thought of not continuing to date him were gone. I would give him a chance. I felt comfortable with him, trusted him, and he cared for me, so why not.

"Jasper?" I whispered, my eyes still looking into his eyes.

"Yes darlin'?" He still held me snugly.

I started to lift myself up to meet his face on my tiptoes as he leaned over to meet mine and our lips met in a soft chaste kiss. It was sweet and gentle. "Thank you."

"You are always welcome. I'm here for you. You know that right?" I nodded. "Sleep well Bella." He pulled me in for another hug before letting me go and left the room as he pulled the door to close, but left it open slightly.

Jasper may not have been the man of my dreams, but for now, he was the man who cared for me and wanted me.

Since that night Jasper and I continued to go out. I guess he was sort of my boyfriend, but there was always a feeling inside me that knew that I was not the one meant for him and visa-versa. We never went any further than a few kisses and snuggling on the couch together for dinner and movies at his place or around town.

Another new change that occurred in the last month was that I was finally able to buy a vehicle. Charlie was able to sell my truck the weekend of my birthday to a car collector who wanted to restore it as part of a weekend project. Charlie wired me the money and that, along with my first disbursement from my fellowship stipend, I was able to afford a '99 blue Toyota Corolla advertised in The Reader that James' article was in. The car was in pretty decent shape and had pretty low mileage for its year. Jasper had gone with me to make sure it was a good deal and was in working order, and afterwards we went out to celebrate my new "baby" which I named Bonnie-Blue.

Alice helped me breaking Bonnie-Blue with a much welcomed shopping trip. Jasper wanted to come, but his sister had decided to make a quick visit so she could meet with her wedding planner at the venue she had picked out for the ceremony. Since Rose's maid of honor was still in New York, all of those responsibilities fell on him.

Since the James incident, Alice had been overly giving and protective of me. By the end of our shopping excursion she had scared the majority of the male population in the mall and had practically purchased me a new wardrobe with several turtlenecks and sweaters which she rationalized she owed me since she blamed herself for me being in that situation with that monster.

"Alice, quit blaming yourself. You did nothing wrong, I don't need anything from you. You're alive and so am I. That's all that's important, right?"

Alice's lip quivered as she spoke, juggling the shopping bags she held in her hands. "Yes, but I just won't feel right unless I pay you back somehow. Please, just let me do this for you Bella. True, I owe you my life. These silly articles of clothing are just a poor excuse for anything I could give you." I could see the tears in her eyes welling. I think she was taking the James situation harder than I was.

"Okay Ali, but I think I'm good now on clothing until fall of next year. No more okay, give the AmEx a rest, I think I see smoke coming from it." I tried to joke to break the somber mood.

Most of my days fell into a well organized pattern to occupy as much of my free time as possible, not allowing me to think about the younger Dr. Cullen. I ate, attended classes, met with Carlisle after my Memory course for a few minutes, usually ran the campus track, and performed all my duties as an RA. On my free nights I usually hung out with either Alice or Jasper and on occasion I holed myself up in my room working on my proposal for my thesis or my homework. I had a few tutoring sessions thrown in there as well. The research team finished our training to begin our experiments yesterday. Next week would be the start of the written evaluations of our participants. Ben and Angela asked Mike and I to stay after the rest of the team had left to schedule when we would help the undergraduate research members with running our first round of the experiment.

The one thing that constantly weighed on my mind for the last month and bothered me the most was that my interaction with Dr. Cullen had severely cut down. Sure I saw him every Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, but we hardly ever spoke in person. Occasionally he would tell me in passing of students that had request tutoring, he rarely showed for research meetings, our one-on-ones lasted no more than fifteen minutes on Thursday evenings and any further contact was in the form of short and overly professional emails that consisted of lesson plans. I noticed he purposely ignored me when he gave his lesson in Developmental, and of course it hurt. He probably threw me in with the overzealous undergrads that would flaunt their assets in order to improve their grades or to seek their own personal gratification. I mean I would too, especially since I was the one to kiss him. Damn it. I wasn't supposed to think about that any more. Wednesday afternoon was the last time I had contact, of course in an email.

To: IMSwan(at)uni(dot)chi(dot)edu

From: EACullen(at)uni(dot)chi(dot)edu

Subj: Friday Developmental Lecture

October 7, 2009

Ms. Swan,

Attached are the lecture notes for the lesson for this Friday. Due to my obligation at the Western National Neuropsychology Conference this week I will be away and you will be presenting the lecture. I ask to be notified of any changes made and if you are not able to finish the lecture, I ask to be notified as well.

Dr. E. A. Cullen PhD.

University of Chicago

Behavioral Sciences

Neuropsychology

I finally finished my run for the day and started my way back to the dorm. I was going to go over the notes for tomorrow's class and then lay out some clothes for tomorrow night since Jasper asked me to dinner at the Cullen manor. His sister was in town again and he wanted to finally introduce us. I think I would have been more freaked out if my mind wasn't constantly in a state of numbness. Carlisle and Esme Cullen would be there of course and I would also meet their eldest son, Emmett. I was both thankful and disappointed that the younger Cullen would be absent.

When I finally reached my room, I locked my door behind me and shed my clothes on my way to my shower. I scrubbed every inch of me, shaved my legs and conditioned my hair twice to leave it extra silky. Since I didn't have my one-on-one today, it was still fairly early which meant more "alone time". I printed out the lecture notes, highlighter and pen in hand to start looking them over. For some reason it was difficult to concentrate. First, the room was too quiet, so I played some music from my iPod. Then it was too warm, so I tried to relieve that by turning on some fans. I tried to focus more from there, but then, since I was alone, my mind started to wonder on its own. I thought about what the neuropsychology conference would be like, what topics they would be discussing this year. Where it was held, since Dr. Cullen had not even mentioned to me where he was going. And then because I was a masochist, I started to ask myself questions I tried to avoid. Why was he so cold? Why does he ignore me? Why doesn't he like me? Why couldn't I be his? Soon enough the lecture notes were forgotten and falling off my bed to the floor as I curled myself into fetal position and loud sobs escaped.

I needed a distraction. I wasn't in good form to drive anywhere. I couldn't talk to Alice or Jasper not because they were busy, but because they would want to know what was wrong, and I could never allow myself to tell them. I was dating Jasper and that would not be fair to him that his girlfriend for all intensive purposes was still pining for his soon to be brother-in-law. And Alice was out of the question because she would disapprove of me continuing to date Jasper if I still had feelings for Dr. Cullen and since we were on the research team, it would be completely awkward. That left me with only one option. There was only one person whom I had disclosed everything to. My feelings about Dr. Cullen, the James incident, the kiss, Jasper… all of it. Only because he lived several thousand miles away and because he was my first and my best friend who I trusted my whole heart with. I quickly retrieved my phone and hit speed dial 1.

Ring…Ring…Ring…

"Hey Bells, your ears must have been burning. I was just talking about you." The rough voice laughed jovially over the sounds of the shop in the background.

I tried to even my voice, but of course it had to crack. "Jake…" I sniffled as my nose was still running.

"Bella, babe. What's wrong? Are you okay? Are you hurt?" It was quiet for just a moment before he spoke up again, talking to someone else on his end. "Hey, gimmie a minute man, I gotta talk to my girl real quick." I was still trying to control my crying when he returned his attention back to me. "What's going on Bells?"

"Jake… Jake, I want to come home. It… it just hurts too much to be here." I tried to dry my tears with the back of my free hand.

"Is it Jazz, sweetheart? Did you two break-up?" Jake liked Jasper, even though he was a bit upset after I told him I slept in his apartment the night James attacked me, but when I told him we were in separate rooms, he wasn't as overprotective.

"No, we're still together. We have dinner plans with his sister and some of her fiancé's family tomorrow night." Except the one person I want to see most of all is God knows where at the moment.

"It's Him, isn't it?" Jake's voice was low and full of contempt that I knew was indirectly directed to the stupid shiny Volvo owner. He knew that I had fallen for Edward Cullen. Fallen hard and fast. He said that he thought it was too soon to have such strong feelings, but when I told him about every encounter, every time my heart raced, the electricity, he agreed with me that I had fallen in love. And when each time I talked to him about what had transpired since, he grew more and more hateful toward the man that hurt his former fiancée and best friend. "Is he still ignoring you? Treating you like shit? If I was there, I'd give him a piece of my mind that's for sure…"

"Yeah, he's still been avoiding me, but he's actually gone for most of this week, some conference he is speaking at. I'm trying my best to not think about him Jake, but I can't help myself. I'm not being fair to Jasper, but I can't help my heart." Another tear fell.

Jacob let out a long sigh. "I know, and it doesn't help you seen him almost four days a week…shit Bells, you're in some fine fucked up pickle of a situation."

"I know." I let out a sigh.

"Well, first things first, what are you going to do about Jasper? You can't keep stringing him along if there's nothing there. I know you say he cares for you, but Bella, babe, you'll hurt Jazz more if you continue to stay with him."

Jake was right, "You're right. I can't keep leading him on. I think I'll do it soon, but not until after dinner tomorrow night. I already promised him and I'd rather not have his sister hating me while being in the same room with her." I stood up from my bed and walked into the bathroom to get some tissue and blew my nose. "I hope he can forgive me and still be friends."

"We stopped our romantic relationship Hun and we're still friends. I'm sure it will hurt him, but it's only human to feel that way. As long as you are honest and kind, like I know you are, I'm sure you won't lose the friendship. As for dealing with that douche bag, fuck him. And no, I don't mean literally. I mean if he's going to be a dick head, he's not worth your time. Just do what you need to do for school and if he gives you shit; I give you permission to dish it back. But knowing you… just forget him. You'll find someone soon that loves you just as much as you love them. If it's meant to be, it will happen sweetheart. Just have faith."

"How are you so good to me Jacob Black? I cry and complain and you just say the right thing and let me be a sobbing fool." I took another tissue and dabbed the corners of my eyes that still held some moisture.

"Because I love you, stupid girl." Jacob let out a light laugh which I joined in with.

"I love you too, jerk face."

"I'd love to stay and talk more babe, but I sorta promised a customer I'd drop him off at his hotel. Poor guy's from out of town and his rental ended up needing its fan belt replaced. Rental Company's a piece of crap and has no one else to help him."

"That's nice of you Jake."

"Just paying it forward, ya know. Call me tomorrow though, and let me know how things go with Jasper and the dinner, alright?"

"I will. Talk to you tomorrow Jake."

"Bye Bells."

As soon as the line disconnected, I still felt the weight of my emotions, but I knew Jake was right. I needed to break up with Jasper and I needed to have a little faith.

But telling Edward to "fuck off" was such a hard concept, because even the thought of doing that hurt my heart and I knew no matter what I would always love him.

So this chapter was going to be longer, but I wanted the Dinner to be saved for the next chapter.

As you can tell there was a time jump. This is something you may see in future chapters.

Please don't hate me for the Jasper situation. It just developed on its own that way

Reader Questions:

Q: Did Edward buy the ring? And if he did, when will he give it to Bella?

A: No, he did not buy the ring.

Q: Is James going to file charges for "whoever" beat him up? Is he going to go after Bella again? And how about Alice?

A: I think this chapter answered that question.

Q: Were there any other eyewitness to Bella's assault?

A: No.

Q: Is Tanya going to actively pursue Edward outside of class?

A: It is possible.

Q: Will there be other potential love interests (i.e., suitors) for Bella who will actively woo her?

A: Bella is an attractive woman. It's a safe bet that others will try to woo her. Doesn't mean they can win her though, right?

Keep sending in your questions. Next chapter is Bella's dinner at the Cullen home.