Hey guys here is chap 12 hope you like it I have Anya singing haha so I hope you like it... just want to say thanks to my beautiful reviewers I love you all...

Star

Xx

Disclaimer: I own nothing not even my computer

Song list: Take Me or Leave Me – Rent Soundtrack

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As the gang continued to bask in the glow Xander created Anya pulled herself away from Xander's embrace something was nagging at her brain

"Would you still love me if I was a demon?" she asked gazing into his eyes Xander looked away and didn't say a word the gang watched in deadly silence Dawns embrace on Spike tightened after a few minutes Xander answered shakily

"Y-y-yes" Anya's eyes widened a thousand years of experience listening to lying men shone through Xander was lying pulling away hurt shone through on her delicate features Spike and Tara winced at the look. Tearing herself away from Xander Anya stood alone in the centre of the room tears welled in her eyes. Suddenly a pop tune started to play and Anya started to sing

every single day,
I walk down the street
I hear people say 'baby so sweet'
ever since puberty
everybody stares at me
boys

Anya wrapped a arm around Spikes head pulling him slightly closer to her before she turned and grabbed Tara doing the same thing as she continued to sing

girls I can't help it baby
so be kind and don't lose your mind
just remember that I'm your baby

Xander cringed he knew Anya was attractive and he did see the looks she got, he couldn't believe how stupid he was

take me for what I am
who I was meant to be
and if you give a damn
take me baby
or leave me

take me baby or leave me

Anya didn't care she let the tears run down her face, why couldn't Xander appreciate everything that made up who she was the demon part of her life made her who she was, D''Hoffryn saved her life. And being demon brought her to Xander the first man to make her feel alive in over a thousand years


a tiger in a cage
can never see the sun
this diva needs her stage
baby lets have fun
you are the one I choose
folks would kill to fill your shoes

Giles and Willow let out a simultaneous sigh at the sight in front of them the same thought running across their minds

'Xander's closed mind may have cost him love'

Xander was mentally hitting his head up against a brick wall as he watched Anya drape her arms around Spike's body. It was true she could have most men with her looks.

Spike stood ridged as Anya continued to maintain her hold on him.

Buffy was trying hard to not reach out and rip Anya away from Spike and stake claim on him there and then. Dawn watched the wave of emiotions wash across her sister's face and prayed Anya let go of Spike soon or there was going to be definite trouble she could see Buffy clenching her fist. Suddenly Anya pulled herself away and Buffy, Dawn and Spike let out sighs of relief as Anya turned to face Xander and pointed her finger at hin and sang in a sarcastic voice


you love the lime light to now baby
so be mine and don't waste my time
cryin' 'oh honey bear are you still my, my, my baby?'

a smirk on her face that softened to on that was almost unreadable as she continued to sing staring at Xander

take me for what I am
who I was meant to be
and if you give a damn
take me baby or leave me

Anya felt a fresh wave of tears hit, it was Xander's choice but she didn't know if he could love her as a whole, she realised he seemed to always change subject when her demonic past was brought up


no way, can I be what I'm not
but hey, don't you want your girl hot?
Don't fight, don't lose your head
'cause every night who's in your bed?
Who?
Who's in your bed?

No matter what ever he did, Anya though I am always waiting for him, willing to understand she was brouth out of her thought as she glanced at Xander and said

kiss pookie

it won't work
I look before I leap
I love margins and discipline
I make lists in my sleep baby
what's my sin?
Never quit
I follow through
I hate mess but I love you
what do with my impromptu baby?
so be wise 'cause this girl satisfies
you got a prize but don't compromise

Two different people, two different worlds how could this work Anya thought tears pouring down her face he would never accept her past

Xander stared at the woman he loved what a idiot he had been, Anya was perfect as she was whether she was demon or not he loved EVERY part of her and suddenly Xander's little black and white world was painted with shades of grey


you're one lucky baby

take me for what I am
Willow - a control freak
who I was meant to be
Dawn - a snob yet over attentive
and if you give a damn
Tara - a loveable droll geek
take me baby or leave me
Spike - a anal retentive

Anya's eyes widened was this how her friends thought of her? Suddenly Spike winked at Anya and grin on his face showing her he was only joking, Dawn followed suit as well Anya's shoulders relaxed as she took another deep breath and started to sing again

that's it
the straw that breaks my back
I quit
unless you take it back
men
what is it about them?
Can't live with them or without them

'if he doesn't want me I'm gone, I can't have my heart broken, even though I will miss the orgasms' Anya though sadly walking towards Xander and rested a hand on his chest

take me for what I am
who I was meant to be
who I was meant to be
and if you give a damn
and if you give a damn then
take me baby, or leave me
take me baby, take me or la-la-la-la-la-leave me
take me baby or leave me

as the tune faded Xander didn't say a word so Anya turned and as the last nots of the song faded he softly said

guess I'm leaving I'm gone!

As she turned and walked towards the door when a hand grabbed her arm turning her around. Anya looked into the chocolate brown eyes of Xander and he turned to his friends and Spike

"Guys can we be alone for a sec?" slowly the gang walked out of the room and headed to various parts of the house taking a deep breath Xander looked back at Anya

"Ahn, look I... I know I hurt you... and I am sorry" he started Anya tryed to cut in but Xander placed a finger on her lips

"let me finish... Anya my life was dull without you, your my world, I know I lived in a black and white, good and bad kind of world but... you... Anya you've shown me that its not black and white but shades of grey and I guess I was to blind to see that until I almost lost you... I love you... all of you demon, human whatever" he finished with a whisper

Anya didn't say a word she just threw herself into Xander's arms and started to sob uncontrollable

"don't ever do that to me again Xander Harris," she said softly between sobs then after a pause she added "or no orgasms EVER"

Xander laughed a little as tears rolled down his own face as he buried he head in her neck

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In the kitchen Buffy, Dawn, Spike and Giles stood around the bench top

"Whats happenin?" Dawn asked Spike

"Hmmm whats that?" he said looking up from the counter top

"What's Xander saying... is it stupid?" Dawn asked again

"Dawn" Giles said sharply looking in Buffy's direction pleading her to say something

Buffy was about to say something to Dawn about privacy when Spike bet her to it.

"Bit, give 'em some respect yeah, demon girl had her bleedin' heart torn out, I thought the whelp was gonna let her walk stupid git" Spike said and Buffy felt jealousy rise up in her chest again as spike defended Anya

"OK" Dawn grumbled as she swung her legs back an forward after a few moments Spike said

"the whelp sounds like a bigger poof then Angel" he muttered as he walked towards the back door "be mornin' soon" he said softly looking at the sky before closing the door behind him. Buffy glanced at the clock they had been up all night it was 5:30 am already it had been nearly a whole day of singing and inner secrets shared she let out a sigh as she opened the fridge, when would it end?

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A/N: hey guys what do you think??? Please read and review let me know what you think ok

xx