Nice

"Morning, sleepyhead!" Misty giggled, shaking his shoulder. "I'm really sorry to wake you up so early, but your mother just insisted that I stop by to help you. I couldn't really have said no, could I? I'm not that heartless, at least, I hope I'm not. I really like your mom, Ash, she's a real sweet woman. I can see where you get it from! Oh, goodness, I probably sound like I'm being such a kiss up! I'm not trying to be, I promise. I honestly just think you're a really great guy, and your mom is so nice to tend to me after bumping into me in some silly pokémon store! Imagine, what woman would see a little girl crying and invite her into her home? Oh, but you know the story. Sorry to be such a bother!"

He crossed his arms. "You're not funny."

Big, teal eyes blinked. "What?"

"You're not funny. I said that I'd wish you were nice, and now you're pretending to be nice, and it isn't funny. I'm not laughing, and I think it's just stupid. So why don't you just go back to my mom, leave me alone, and take a long walk off a short plank into sharpedo infested waters? And drink some poison just in case." He pulled the covers under his head and bunkered down, grumpy at the sun for getting up earlier than he wanted to and grumpy at Misty for not only trying to start a conversation, but making fun of him to top it off.

He heard the rustle of clothes as she stepped away, and then the plop as she settled down on the bottom bunk. He grinned to himself, because she was sulking because her plan hadn't worked and he had won. Then he frowned. Because she was crying. It wasn't soft crying either, like she was trying to hide it, or loud, exaggerated crying, like she was faking and wanted to be sure he heard. No, it sounded like honest, I-hope-he-doesn't-hear-me-but-I-can't-stop-myself kind of tears. Misty was crying. Misty was crying because he told her to kill herself. It didn't make any sense at all.

He sat up quickly, flipping half his body over the side of the mattress (and almost taking the other half with him), mouth wide open as he stared at her: genuine sadness, genuine tears. She was either an insanely good actress who decided that crying was now an acceptable show of weakness for a practical joke, or she had some kind of psychological disorder and needed to be rushed to the hospital immediately, because Misty didn't cry. Bother were equally plausible answers. Ash chose answer C, which was that aliens had taken over her body and took the appropriate action: to continue staring until she finally looked at him.

"Oh…oh sorry." She wiped away a tear and sniffed. "Mew, I'm probably bothering you, crying and all. It's not what you said. It's not your fault, so please don't feel bad! I just…I just have something in my eye. No, no, I mean…there's nothing wrong. You don't have to waste any pity on me. I'm sorry for bugging you. I'll make you cookies if you want. What do you like, chocolate chip? Those seem pretty ordinary, but I can make any kind you like! I can make you a cake if you want! Anything to make you happy."

He arched an eyebrow. "I want carrot cake, with red pepper frosting and little caterpie figurines all over it."

Her eyes widened for a second with a kind of primal fear, and the tears came harder, a full out sob now. "Alright! I will if that's what'll make you happy! It might take a while, and I've never made anything like that so it might not taste good, but I promise to try my hardest to make it taste as good as I can! Oh, please don't feel bad Ash! Don't take pity on me! I just want to make you happy! I'd feel so terrible if I couldn't bring a smile to your face! What good is a person if they can't make others happy?"

"I'm dreaming," he concluded. "This is some kind of beautiful dream. Maybe I should give Brock a harem."

"Would that really make him happy?"

He snorted. "You know Brock, anything involving girls would make him happy. Hey, you could even run out to the store and buy him an underwear catalogue and he'd be grateful for weeks! He's not exactly hard to please."

"I've got magazines, and some of them have underwear models in them…I suppose I could go out and buy one with nothing but underwear. I wouldn't want to go halfway, right? Does he like the carrot cake too, or should I make him something else? I don't mind. I really like cooking. Sometimes, people teach me how to cook. I think it may be because I'm so sweet to them!" She gasped and covered her mouth with both hands. "Not that I mean to brag!"

He pinched himself. It hurt. So then he decided to retrace his life. He didn't do drugs. He rarely drank and never got drunk. He never drank medicine. He wasn't aware of any memory loss or crazy dreams, but he guessed he wouldn't really know if he was delusional if he was delusional. From what his delusion (or reality, he wasn't quite sure which anymore) told him, Misty didn't do drugs or medicine or alcohol either. There couldn't be any substances influencing this. It has to be something happy, something wonderful that happened to him since he was such a great guy.

"I've gotta go get Brock!"

And he did, tumbling, stumbling down the stairs he found his ethnic friend and tackled him into the grass, practically shouting with unbridled joy. Brock was not sure how to react to this. Ash normally didn't tackle him, not in any universe, and Ash certainly wouldn't normally hug onto him after such a tackle. He wondered if there was something wonderful going on, like world peace, or a call from the League declaring he was a pokémon master. He kind of hoped there was a sale on chili, and thought there was a good chance there could be, because when one so desperately wants an item (such as dragons or pikachus or chili) one imagines that everyone wants it as bad as they do.

"How many beans does it have?"

"What?"

And by the look on his face, Brock was sure this had nothing to do with chili. He rubbed the back of his neck and muttered a depressed, "Sorry."

"Never mind, listen." Ash took a deep breath and hugged the dark skinned boy even tighter. "Brock, it's a miracle. I made a wish and the wish came true. Misty…she's nice now. She's apologizing and sweet talking and being, like, the nicest person on the planet. I didn't think I'd ever see the day, but it happened. Brock, it freaking happened."

Brock laughed, shaking his head and pushing Ash away. "Yeah, alright. It's so weird that Misty's nice."

Ash sat up suddenly, cocking his head to the side. "It's…it is weird."

"Misty's always nice. What's so different about it today? Don't tell me you've already forgotten after a few weeks away." He laughed and pushed Ash's head again. "You know, Ash, you got me all excited. I thought there was going to be chili or something, but no. It's just something stupid about Misty being nice. Gees, this is the same girl who once gave the shirt off her back to Team Rocket. Not nice…man, Ash! She's so nice it's completely obnoxious! What is it now? Is she so worried that she offended you she wants to kill herself to spare you anymore trouble?"

Ash rubbed his temples, shaking his head. "No…No, Brock, Misty's mean. Misty's a terrible person. Misty's the first to hit someone or yell at someone or…Brock! We traveled with her for years and all she did was constantly call me stupid and tell me I wasn't any good at training and all that other really terrible stuff. You can't tell me that you don't remember it, Brock! I can't be crazy! I mean, how could I dream up, like, four years of my own personal hell with an angry redhead who likes to hurt me on the inside and out on a daily basis?"

Brock raised an eyebrow. "It sounds like a really weird dream. You didn't eat any of those little sushi roll things Misty made, did you? You know she's not a very good cook and-"

"Well," he muttered to himself, "at least some of the things haven't changed. I wonder what could be going wrong."

(Oh, I don't know. You could be the Chosen One and a bunch of Legendaries have, once again, decided to screw with your life and fate. Can you talk to pokémon though? No. Of course you can't. Why should that helpful trait be added to your arsenal? I mean, it's not like I'm intelligent or anything. It's not like I couldn't have pointed out, oh, I don't know, a few hundred times when I actually knew it was Team Rocket. What'd I do though? A few weeks in and I said "screw it". You know why? Because you'll never figure it out.)

"Are you okay, Pikachu? What are you trying to tell me?" He picked up the mouse and glared keenly into its face, but gained no glimmer of understanding from its agitated eyes. "Do you know why Misty is acting so strangely? Can you act it out?"

(My religion prohibits me from doing so.)

"I have no idea what you just said."

He sat Pikachu down and brushed off his pants, deciding that he had to go find Misty and take advantage of this. He was either delusional now, or would probably fall into the delusion of Misty being evil soon. He had to enjoy it while it lasted, but what could he do? Have her wash his underwear? Make her actually learn to cook? Video tape her crying and sell her tears on the internet? Or maybe he should just do a lot of stupid things around her, and take joy in the fact that she wouldn't be able to make snappy remarks about how absolutely stupid he was. It couldn't have been a better plan.

"Hey, Ash?" Dawn asked, ruining all his schemes. She took him by the hand and led him out to the back of his house, insisting the matter she was about to speak with him about was very, very private. "Listen, I know this is a little awkward, but I wanted to talk to you about Misty. She's been acting really, really nice. Nicer than usual, I mean, because she wasn't ever a bad person or anything, but she was never this-"

He sighed with relief. "You noticed it too?"

"It's kind of hard not to. She was always asking to help and stuff, ever since your mom first found her sobbing in that supermarket when you were ten" -there went the hope- "and she's always acted like she's had to pay back this debt she had with you, but it seems different now. I mean, different than it was when I met her all those years ago. I think she…Ash, I think Misty has a crush on you, and I think that's why she's been clinging to you so much and actually suggesting things she can do for you. I mean, she practically charged up the stairs when your mom said she could wake you up!"

"Me n' Misty? Even in this dimension?" he shouted, "That's ridiculous!"

"Even in this…Gees, Ash, you sure are weird today. But, still, I know you would never be into a girl like her. You need someone with more spunk. You need someone who would really push you when you needed it, instead of being a real pushover like she is."

"No, that's not what I'd need. I don't need a girl like that. If anything, I'd need a girl a lot nicer who wouldn't always make me feel bad or push me around or anything!"

"So you do like her?"

"Mewda…no! I don't like her! I don't like her when she's nice! I don't like her when she's nasty! I just don't like her, alright? Stop trying to make me fall in love with her because I won't! I don't love her and I won't ever love her and she doesn't love me either so just stop it! Stop it!" And he stomped his foot a few times for good measure, because foot stomping always helps reassure everyone that this is a very serious problem indeed.

Dawn slapped him, however, and that completely overrode his foot stomping. Her voice dropped low, in that furious motherly tone all women save for occasions like this, and scolded, "Ash Ketchum! She's nothing but nice to you! I can't believe you'd be so mean to her! She really likes you Ash, I mean, really likes you! Do you know how hard she'd cry if she found out you were talking about her like this? You can't be this harsh with her! You know she can't stand it! If you like her, you need to tell her. If you don't…then try not to mention it. I mean, avoid it at all costs. She really will cry if you say anything."

"Alright!" He held his hands up and took a huge step back. "I won't! It's just…I know it's hard to believe, but I'm completely convinced, that up until today, Misty was a mean, sarcastic, manipulating girl who made my life miserable for years. I don't know why, but it seems like everyone else forgot about it except for me. It's like something out of the Daylight Place. You know, that weird show where all the weird things happen?"

"Do I need to call someone?"

"No! No! You don't need to call anyone!" he insisted, waving his hands out in front of him. "I just have to enjoy that Misty's so…nice now."

She grinned slyly, holding up a finger. "Well, if you really want to enjoy it we could always set up a date for the two of you. You could go out to dinner together and she'll end up paying and she'll be super nice to you and you can even go to the movies and just sit in silence. I think you two would make a cute couple, you probably just need to get into the right mindset. Maybe I could even toughen Misty up a little so she'd be a better girl for you."

Ash snorted. "Yeah. Sure. Set up a date! Set up a whole mess of dates! I'll watch all the movies in the theatre! Dinner and a movie! That sounds great, especially if Misty ends up paying for all of them. I wouldn't mind going steady at all."

"Seriously? I'll hold you to it if you say yes!"

"Sure, why not?"

(And this is an example of foreshadowing. Foreshadowing is basically a major plot point that's hinted at early on, and then comes back with a vengeance somewhere in the story. In this case, the story is Ash's life, and I have a feeling that the listening Legendaries are probably good enough storytellers that they're going to have fun with foreshadowing. Remember to not be an idiot, and never agree to something unless you fully understand the conditions.) Pikachu wasn't quite speaking to anyone, not unless she had decided to break down the fourth wall, so her advice went unheeded by her human companion.

So Dawn sent Ash upstairs, telling him he had to be the one to tell Misty they would be going on a date that night. Ash wasn't too keen about that, as he was slightly afraid that she was going to be overly exciting or burst into tears from the pressure or, even worse, be completely calm about it though he was freaking out. Not that he was freaking out because he liked her or anything, because that would be silly. And it definitely wasn't because he'd never technically had a date before, because that was just plain silly too.

"Hey, Misty, I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me tonight."

The redhead froze in her cleaning, which was nice, because it let Ash absorb the fact that Misty was cleaning. After all, Misty didn't clean. She kept her own things cleaned, but she never went out of her way to do chores, certainly not for fun. Yet, there she was, scrubbing an ancient stain out of the carpet. It also gave him time to note that she was apparently good at cleaning, because both his mom and the crazy Mr. Mime had attempted to remove the spot to no success, and she was managing it in less than, what, twenty minutes or less?

"You…you want to go on a date with…with me?" she asked, a heavy blush rising in her cheeks. "You…you want to…oh wow. Oh wow, Ash, yeah! I mean, yes, not yeah. Yeah is disrespectful. Yes. I would love to go out on a date with you tonight. That'd be…that's just great. I'll pay, so you don't have to worry about money! Oh, wow. Thanks so much!"

"You don't need to thank me. I just thought that…" He trailed off, and focused intensively on the stain. "That's really coming right out, isn't it?"

"It took a second, but once I figured out it was grape juice I knew exactly what it took. How'd you manage that stain anyway, Ash? You're usually not all that messy, except when it comes to your clothes, but I don't wash those." And she blushed yet again, whether she was thinking about his underwear or imagining some kind of nice girl fantasy where she got to organize his lights from his darks, he'd never know.

"It came from…" We were fighting about who was taller. It was the first time you came to my house, and Mom had set me off by laughing about how much shorter I was. That night, when I brought it up, that was when the fight started, and we stood up and we got too close. I got flustered, because I'd never been that close to a girl before and I stumbled back and the juice fell off the counter I hit and all over the floor. I didn't tell Mom. She found it weeks later, so the stain had set. She was mad. "I don't remember."

"Well, at least it's not too tough to get out!" she chirped. "Unlike the stains on your pillow. When was the last time you washed it? It looked disgusting and it smelled even worse."

"Yeah, at least there's that." There was a lump in his throat, and it was very hard to swallow, so he left her there cleaning.

He turned that over in his mind until the date, because he shouldn't have gotten worked up over a stain. It was just a bit of grape juice. Who cared if he was the only one who remembered? After all, it's not like his throat had gotten all tight or his stomach had gotten fluttery because Misty was such a girl when he was that close. She was Misty, but when he was just an inch away she was a girl with big greenish blueish eyes and lips and…it was just a stain. A stain wasn't a memory, anyway, so it shouldn't matter. He didn't care about the stupid stain.

"So, dinner or movie first?" Misty asked excitedly, hands fidgeting in her now loosened hair. The hair warranted a look, but only that. It didn't look right, well, it didn't look like Misty, not with a look that…encouraging, he guessed. Maybe idolizing was a better word. It was creepy for sure, that big smile and those seemingly larger eyes looking at him like he was some sort of god or father figure. Definitely creepy.

"Uh, dinner. We can go to a burger place, if that's okay." He was asking Misty if something was okay. He was getting much to used to this new version much too quickly. He couldn't possibly actually…well, she couldn't be the real version, could she? How could he have dreamed up all those years and not remembered any of these? "Or maybe we can just grill something on the barbeque and go camping."

"You know I don't like camping, Ash. I think it's much better to leave the pokémon on their own in their natural habitat. I respect your decision as a trainer, but you know how cruel I find it to have pokémon battle. You know how much I hate any kind of violence. You're not going to take me to a violent movie, right? I don't think I could stand it."

He snorted. "You're a gym leader and you don't like training, sure."

"I'm not a gym leader." Here her tone got just a little bit hot, "I told you I swore it off. That's why I was crying when your mom first found me, because my sisters wanted me to be a leader but I couldn't figure out what to do! You know this, Ash, but you've been acting so weird all day. It's like you just got dropped in from an alternate dimension or something. You're asking if I was nice, making me do things you know I don't like, and then you go and ask me out! I just don't understand."

"That makes two of us."

Misty not battling? It didn't make any sense. Misty was practically built on battling. That was what she did, plain and simple. She was a fighter. Always a fighter. She was the last one standing, always got an extra punch in when she could. She wasn't the kind of girl who sat around and tried to talk people out of fighting. She didn't stage a peaceful protest, but went in and did something rash, probably something that did more harm than good but did something. The thought of her sitting in a circle, hands laced with other peace loving people just…baffled him. It wasn't bad, he guessed, but it sure wasn't her.

They finally decided on a casual burger joint. He had to order for her, because she spent too much time trying to figure out how not to impose on the waiter or him or how not to be a glutton or eat too little and just all in all be the perfect little girl. It really freaked him out, her constantly thinking about how to please everyone, and he was quite sure he was going to throw a fit if she spent anymore time being that radically nice.

"Hey, Misty," he said, watching her primly cut her burger as he had long finished his. "I understand that you want to…be nice to everyone, but don't you think you should try being yourself a little more? You can't tell me that there's not any…rage underneath that happy go lucky exterior? Sometimes when I look at you, I can't help but think that, you know, there might be a little bit of…I don't know, a really angry girl?"

"Don't be silly." She giggled. "Why would I be angry underneath?"

"Well, your sisters for one."

Her knife hesitated, just for a second as it slid through the beef, then continued its way down. She gave him her best smile, shook her head in a very condescending way, and popped the piece into her mouth. He stared at her, very, very hard while she chewed, until she finished and she finally continued. "I don't know what you may have heard, Ash, but my sisters and I get along just fine. We're very, very close."

"Did you ever tell me what you were crying about that day?"

"What day?"

"The day my mom found you? That infamous story? Don't tell me nobody bothered to check what you were crying about! They just brought you home without asking? Well, if nobody was curious then, I'm curious now. Tell me why you were crying. It's not your sisters, right, since you get along so well with them? Don't tell me! You stubbed your toe? Heard about a lost Meowth? What is it, if it isn't your sisters?"

"It's none of your business, that's what," she said, and it was awfully snappy, awfully Misty-like the way she said it, but she was back to her cheerful self in no time, smiling and brushing her hair out of her eyes. "I'm done eating now. Let's go see that movie. I hear there's some cute chick flick out, if you want to see it."

She gave him a smile, the kind he remembered. It was the one she used when she wanted to talk people out of things, to change the subject, to get her way. It worked every time. Even now, even though he told himself very strongly that it wasn't like this was Misty, this was nice Misty and he didn't even know nice Misty. That meant it was impossible for that upward turn of her lips to drag him in so that his head felt much to light and his mouth to dry and he would do damn near anything just to make her smile like the way she was right now…but it wasn't impossible, and he couldn't help but smile back.

"Chick flicks are funny."

The chick flick they watched was funny, but he couldn't help but compare this new Misty to the old Misty once again. Old Misty talked at the screen, openly mocking any flaw she found or squealing over how romantic it all was. New Misty sat in silence, munching on some kind of healthy gummy candy. Old Misty would have shared popcorn with him and Brock, slathered in fake butter and the flavored salt they kept up at the counter. Most importantly, Old Misty would have laughed with him at the funny parts. New Misty simply gave a quiet little smile and nodded, as if to agree with the audience that it was quite the funny film.

"You don't laugh either?" Ash muttered.

"I just find it rude. If I laugh too long, someone might miss the next line in the movie, and that'd be terrible for them. I'm just having a bit of common courtesy. I understand if people want to laugh, and if something's really funny I can't help it, but you shouldn't laugh too loud or too long. You'll just annoy the other people in the movie theatre. They paid, just like I did, to see the movie. I can't take that away from them."

"It's a comedy. People know you're going to laugh. The movie knows. That's why they pause in the movies, so you can laugh. You don't need to…"

He sighed, sick of it all and shook his head. This wasn't anything like he imagined it would be. He guessed he thought nice Misty…well, Misty could be nice, couldn't she? He liked those little moments when she was nice. He just thought it'd be like that all the time. A happier, cheerful Misty. He didn't think she would be insanely self conscious or ridiculously sweet. Even if she was, he guessed it was weird. She wouldn't even get mad when she was mad. It made him feel weird, like she belittling him with her calm, smiling exterior.

He laughed extra loud and extra loud for the rest of the movie, even though it really wasn't that funny. He also laughed at parts that weren't supposed to be all that funny, and though he thought he might have been imagining it, he could have sworn he saw a few glares cast his way, not just by everyone around him but by the now angelic redhead sitting next to him. She was mostly cheerful, and when the movie finally ended she had somehow managed to return to her ridiculously perky self.

"That was such a great night. Dinner was delicious and the movie was fantastic. Oh, Ash, I had such a great time tonight! Thanks so much for taking me out. I don't know what got into you, but I sure am glad it did."

He humored her, said a few things about how great it was to hang out with her too, and led her back to the house, into his room, and left her there. She wanted to turn in early, since nice girls always did, and he was just fine with that. He couldn't take much more of her. Gees, she was so annoying. You couldn't talk to her because she didn't have anything to say. Her whole life was spent making everyone perfectly happy. Could he really spend the rest of his life listening to her tell him how great it was to help others?

Not, he corrected, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He imagined that they'd drift apart some day, and it'd be casual and he wouldn't think about her because he would have a great life as a pokémon master and she…he never much thought about what she did, but she'd be happy. She'd be with some rich, romantic guy and they'd each be happy, even though thinking about her with that rich, romantic guy made his stomach twitch. He could be a rich romantic guy…not that he wanted too, he'd just be better at it than anyone else was all.

So Ash crashed on the couch with Dawn and Brock, both of them prodding him about his date. He explained to them that it sucked, and he really didn't want to go out with her again. They laughed and asked how far he got, what they did, if they spent the night making lovey-dovey eyes at one another. He continued to explain how much it sucked, and, eventually, they figured out that he wasn't joking, it really did suck, and there was no way to get any fun out of it. They went to sleep, Ash stayed on the couch with Pikachu.

In fact, Ash fell asleep on that couch, petting his mouse all along, and whispering, "You know what would make Misty better?"

(Don't make a wish, Ash. Please don't,) Pikachu begged, useless as she knew it was.

"If she was just sarcastic every once in a while."

(Oh, thank Me-)

"I wish she was just sarcastic."

(If I didn't love you so much, I would hate you. I really would.)

Ash, you brainless buffoon! What silly antics have you gotten up to now?

So, chapter two of ten, hopefully will be updated Sundays, and I hope you enjoy.

Question of the Week: If any of you have seen that episode where Ash gets possessed by the king guy, yeah, I was just wondering about how Ash continued to battle. I mean, I know the boy is stupid, but don't you think it's pushing it that he's in this weird, dark space, unable to control his body, and he decides to ignore all this and battle for a medal thingy? Really? That almost sounds like a bashing fic kind of plot. All it's missing is Ash's death.