A/N : The reviews you guys leave make me feel all warm and fuzzy! My beta MadelineJade is the best, I would hate to read my story without her beta'ing skills, I also have a new second beta Twilight-is-lovee!
There is a photobucket for this story now which will get updated often, I'm ready for the backlash from it. I have decided that although Rob and Kris are definitely my vision for Edward and Bella they do not fit the vision for my story. I have chosen to use Caleb Followill(kings of leon) and his girlfriend Lily Aldridge, I have decided to use other members of the band as well which you will see in the photobucket. Although this is my vision I do not expect everyone to agree, you're all free to imagine my Edward and Bella however you please as long as it keeps yah reading!
Songs for this chapter
Break Myself - Something Corporate
All Characters Belong To Stephenie Meyer
BPOV
Edward smiled at me crookedly before he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. His lips were unbelievably soft in contrast to the rough way he was kissing me. I moaned into his mouth but pulled away questioningly as I heard the chorus of Heartbreaker by Led Zepplin begin to play. Edward pulled his phone out of his pocket and I caught a glimpse of the caller I.D. Tanya.
"Hey, baby," he breathed into the phone.
I groaned and rolled onto my stomach, my face pushed into my pillow, trying to will myself to dream a better dream. Of course my alarm would not allow that. Once again the chorus of Heartbreaker began to play loudly. I blindly searched around underneath the pillows in my bed for the phone. Yes, I was one of those people who could not be separated from their phone.
"Shut that thing up!" Jake groaned as he made his way into my room. He flopped down onto the bed beside me.
"What makes you think you're welcomed in my bed, Jacob?" I asked as I shut the alarm off before climbing out of bed.
"The couch is uncomfortable, and you're leaving for work anyway. I thought I'd sleep in here for the rest of the morning," he explained as he rolled onto his side, cuddling into my blanket.
"Whatever." I rolled my eyes and glanced at the clock. Five a.m. My shift started at seven even though I was sure the store opened way before that. It was New York City, after all, and the streets were busy early.
I arrived at the Daily Grind at 6:30, glad to have a half hour to get settled before the morning rush. Apparently, someone had opened the store already, I walked in and jumped slightly at the sound of the doors tinkling bell.
"Good Morning," Edward greeted from behind the counter. I didn't know who I was expecting to work with, but I was definitely not expecting to see him.
There was a line of customers who looked extremely angry so I set to work right away.
"Uh, I can't make drinks with these," he said as he lifted up his hands, which were still almost completely encased in casts. "I can take orders though," he offered.
I nodded quickly and pulled on my apron. Surprisingly, we worked extremely well together. Edward and I even created our own language to make calling out orders easier. And for whatever insane reason, we were the only ones working that day. I didn't want to complain about it though since it was my first day.
By twelve o'clock the shop had slowed down tremendously, and we were exhausted.
"Lets make ourselves a drink and relax for a few minutes," he suggested, and I nodded in agreement, eager to just be able to sit down and take a breath for a moment.
We were laughing as we concocted our own special coffee beverages.
"No, no, don't forget the caramel sauce!" he yelled frantically as I got ready to put the cap on his drink which already had whipped cream on top of it.
"Jeez, relax," I laughed as I swirled the sauce over the whipped cream.
"Sorry, but that's my favorite part," he explained as he took his drink and sat down on the stool in front of the register.
"You're such a girl," I said as I pulled a stool up next to his and took a seat.
"Cheers," he said as we banged our cups together.
We took a sip of our drinks in unison and hummed in satisfaction. I had created a Cookies and Cream frozen blended drink and Edward had a Cap'n Crunch one. His actually didn't taste bad despite the fact that it sort of looked like vomit after you've had too many strawberry daiquiris.
Glancing over at him I let out a chuckle. His nose was covered with whipped cream and caramel sauce, but the limited use of his hands wouldn't allow him to wipe it off fully.
"Let me help you there," I offered while laughing.
I reached over the counter into the napkin holder and pulled one out. I stood up and walked over to him, standing between his legs. I leaned forward and stood on the tip of my toes as I wiped the cream and sauce from his nose. It didn't escape my notice that he began to take deeper breaths and his fingers began tapping on his leg.
"There," I said as I wiped the last of it off.
"Thanks," he said with a smile, and we stared into each other's eyes for an immeasurable moment until the chorus of Heartbreaker by Led Zepplin began to play causing us both to jump a little jolting me out of my momentary daze.
I snickered upon the realization though. There was no way that was really his ringtone.
I let out a chuckle when I glanced at his caller I.D. Of course it was Tanya calling.
"Hello," he answered, the frustration apparent in his tone. I chalked it up to a lovers' quarrel. "No, I don't know where the fuck your keys are," he yelled angrily. "That's real nice, Tanya."
She must have said something to really set him off because he banged his cast against the counter, and his eyebrows knitted together. "Don't you dare bring her into this," he growled glancing over at me briefly. "Go fuck yourself," he sneered into the phone before tapping End Call repeatedly.
I stood there awkwardly for few moments before asking, "Lovers' quarrel?"
"She's not my fucking girlfriend," he answered coldly.
"Oh," I responded holding the small O-shape of my lips for half a second. "Sorry."
There was an awkward silence that fell upon us. We both looked to the door as we heard the ringing bell. The afternoon rush started and left us no time to relax before the evening rush started. Edward Cullen and I worked together for twelve hours and neither of us killed one another.
"I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier," he said with sad eyes as he continued to wipe down the counters.
"It's okay," I responded shrugging it off as I continued to count the cash in the register. I wanted to say something like, "I'm not going to say it's all right, but I forgive you. Just don't let it happen again," and give him a hard time about it, but the sadness in his eyes caused me to bite my tongue. That wasn't what he needed to hear at that moment.
On my walk home that night, I recounted the events of the day. There were definite highlights, our laughing and secret language while working together, but there were also definite lowlights, the defensiveness in his remark regarding Tanya, which I was actually quite intrigued by. She wasn't his girlfriend? I thought they had gotten back together. Anyway, I wondered if the highlights were too good to be true and if I'd see him again this week. For some reason, I highly doubted that though I wished otherwise.
EPOV
As I walked down the route that had become part of my routine over the last week, I couldn't help but feel victorious over the progress I had made. Bella had started working at the coffee shop on Monday and I had visited her every day, and some days I even worked when Emmett was short staffed. Bella and I worked well together through the crazy morning rushes. All of our moves were perfectly synchronized, and not once did we falter. I rang people up and called out orders since my casts didn't allow me to do much else.
Plus, my relationship with my siblings had improved greatly and we were finally starting to act like family. I still had a long way to go, but I was proud of myself for starting to turn things around.
I opened the door to The Daily Grind and grimaced as the little bell rang. Hearing that bell a hundred times a day was enough to drive anyone insane.
"Hey, Edward," Bella greeted with a smile from behind the counter. We had fallen into our own routine of sorts. When things slowed down we'd sip our crazy drink creations and talk about everything from our mutual love of music to the memories she had of her grandmother. Somehow in the short span of five days, we really had become friends, and I didn't write any angsty songs or break any more guitars. For the first time in my life, I was content with the way things were. My life would never be sunshine and fucking rainbows, but I was happy with what I had.
"Hey Bella," I replied as I walked behind the counter and enveloped her in a hug.
"Dude, the last thing I need is a sexual harassment suit," Emmett chided. I quickly stepped away from Bella and attempted to flip him off.
"Do you ever give it a rest, Emmett?" Bella asked rolling her eyes and shaking her head in disbelief at my brother.
"No," Emmett and I replied in unison, and Bella let out a small laugh.
"Bella, we're good in here for the day. I know you opened today too so why don't you head out and enjoy the day. Get things in order for tomorrow," Emmett offered. She frowned slightly and nodded her head before pulling her apron off. Tomorrow was Saturday, the day of her grandmother's funeral.
"Come on, kid, I'll take you to lunch," I told her as I fought the urge to touch her. Even if I had tried, though, the casts pretty much prevented me from it.
"Thanks, Edward," she sighed as we exited the coffee shop.
"For what?" I asked
"I know we've gotten off to a bad start, but you've been there for me more than anyone else this week. You've helped me get my mind off things and talk about my grandmother when I wanted. I just appreciate you," she explained with a shrug. Then she chuckled, "Look at me being all sappy."
Her eyes were sad and even though she was smiling, I could tell it was a forced yet rueful smile. In that moment I couldn't help myself. I leaned forward and hugged her tightly.
"I'd do anything for you," I confessed. She looked at me dubiously, and I had to admit, I'd have been wary of me too after all the confrontations we'd had lately. I suddenly remembered what I'd said to her one night, something along the lines that the only reason I even tolerated her existence was because she was Rosalie's cousin. I winced in regret at the memory of my cutting words and icy tone. "You might not believe me, and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't, but it's the truth." And then it was my turn to chuckle. "See, now I'm being all sappy."
"Wow," she said in surprise before her incredulous expression lightened, her curled lip reshaped into a soft smile. "Thanks?"
"You're welcome?" I laughed using the same questioning tone she did.
We walked in silence to Westville and every time we had to stop for a red light we would glance at each other and smile. Somewhere during the last five days, I had realized that maybe I wasn't as useless as I thought I was. That some day I could be the right guy for Bella. I hoped I could be the right guy for her.
We were seated at the restaurant and immediately took seats across from each other. After we ordered our food we fell into conversation easily.
"Have you talked to Jasper about playing for you?" she asked between bites of her chef salad.
"I haven't seen him in a while," I answered.
"Just call him, and don't be such a bitch," she replied, which caused me to chuckle. I loved how feisty she could be at times.
"Stop stealing all of my free time then," I countered wanting to continue our snarky verbal sparring match.
"Oh…I'm sorry," she apologized as she cast her eyes downward staring at her food with a small frown upon her lips. I immediately felt guilty for making her feel as if I wouldn't be willing to spend any amount of free time I had with her.
"Bella, I was kidding. I like hanging out with you," I clarified myself quickly. Thankfully she looked up with a small crooked smile.
"Really?" she asked and I nodded in answer. Her smile widened as she said, "Cool."
After we finished our meal, we were at a loss of things to do for the rest of the day. We had much of the day left, and I wasn't ready to leave her yet.
"It's a beautiful day out. Why don't we go take a stroll in Central Park?" I suggested.
"That sounds nice."
After some arguing about what train would be closer we agreed to take the R Train to 59thStreet. As we made our way past Barneys and all of the other expensive stores that lined the streets, I grabbed her hand to make sure we did not lose one another. This area was crowded with tourists who were fascinated by the designer stores on 5thAvenue. Surprisingly, Bella didn't mind my taking her hand. In fact, and I may have just been imagining this because my imagination had been working overtime lately, she initiated the lacing of our fingers and even squeezed my hand as we were making our way through the bustling crowd. It really felt…right, her hand in mine, like they belonged together. Like we belonged together. But perhaps she really didn't want to get separated from me since we were, in fact, on unfamiliar territory for her. I would have hated to be lost in a brand new city too.
When we arrived at the entrance of the park our hands were still linked. We entered the park and began our walk, neither of us eager to separate our only connection.
I could slowly feel my resolve breaking. We spent the entire afternoon walking through the park, hands connected as we commented on the beautiful scenery. I walked her to her apartment that night and froze as we said our goodbyes.
Since Bella arrived, I had done nothing but let thoughts of her consume me, torture me, help heal me but never once had I really stopped to think if she wanted me in the same desperate way I needed her. All doubts were pushed out of my mind when she wrapped her arms around my waist and took a deep breath while her head was rested on my chest.
"I know this is a lot to ask," she mumbled nervously before she stepped away and looked up at me with tear filled eyes. She took a deep breath as she tried to blink them back. She spoke quickly. "Will you stay with me tonight? Jake is here, but I don't feel comfortable sleeping in the same bed with him because too much has happened. You've been my rock this week, and I just don't think I can survive the night alone. And if you don't want to, I totally understand because it is a weird request when you stop and think about it, but there it is, and after our afternoon today plus the time that we'd been spending together I just thought…Oh, nevermind," she was breathless as she finished her last word. Her eyes were trained on her shoes as her shoulders rose and fell with her breathing.
I attempted to pinch the bridge of my nose but failed, effectively banging my cast against myself. I was damn lucky I didn't knock myself out. It must have made a loud thud sound because Bella snapped her head up and stared at me curiously before letting out a small laugh.
"It's not funny," I huffed in annoyance.
"It totally is," she responded laughing as if she had forgotten her embarrassment from two seconds prior.
"I'll stay with you," I blurted out.
She paused and nodded giving me a thankful smile.
We entered her apartment wordlessly. There were too many things to say about us, about her grandmother, but they couldn't be said tonight. I didn't bother to acknowledge Jacob as we made our way to her room. I could never understand how she could let him be within thirty yards of her after what he had done. Once in her room she motioned for me to sit on her bed as she gathered her pajamas and exited the room to change.
I had no idea what the proper etiquette was. Nothing sexual would happen tonight or ever for that matter, but I wasn't sure what I would be sleeping in. I didn't want to assume that sleeping in my boxers would be appropriate so I sat on her bed and waited to ask her what she would be okay with.
As soon as she entered the room it took everything in me not to tackle her to the bed and have my way with her. She was wearing a pair of green boxer shorts with whales on were obviously made for girls because they were extremely short and skin tight. She also wore a mauve tank type that I assumed she hadn't realized was very see through. I quickly averted my gaze as she stared at me questioningly.
"You can sleep in your boxers, I don't mind," she offered as she laid down, pulling the covers over herself before picking up what I assumed to be the remote to the air conditioner. She pressed a few buttons before I heard the loud hum that indicated it was on.
I pulled off my shirt and immediately grew nervous. Although Bella would not see me naked tonight this was the first time a girl, besides Tanya, had seen this much of me. To any other man this would seem ridiculous, but no other man had lived life as guarded as I had. I didn't know what made the idea of sex so terrifying for me, but maybe it was because I knew how life altering and damaging it could be. I was proof of that. I didn't want to be ruined by sex or ruin anyone else, especially Bella, for that matter.
I climbed in to bed with Bella slowly and carefully, realizing that this was as naked as I would ever be with her.
"My grandmother would have loved to see me on stage," she mused as she turned onto her side. I did the same. We held each other's gazes for what felt like an eternity.
"You are amazing on stage. I'm sure that she is watching you and cheering you on. I bet she's bragging to Jesus about how talented her grand daughter is," I smiled as she laughed at my statement. We talked a little more but not much more. I couldn't even recall what was said, but I was acutely aware of our proximity, trying to lock the content feeling that Bella brought me to memory.
She fell asleep quicker than I thought while I laid there in silence. Her hair was sprawled across the pillow, her mouth slightly open while her breath came in what sounded more like sighs.
Suddenly she sat up, her eyes shooting open. It must have been an awful dream because I could immediately see the tears falling freely from her eyes. She turned to me and I automatically opened my arms to her. It was the only thing I could think of to comfort her. She settled herself against my chest, her body pressed into my side as her tears wet my bare chest. I ran my fingers through her hair mindlessly as I began to sing to her, hoping to help her sleep.
I'm on fire
And the day is feeling hopeless
You'd see me burning but the burning's turning smokeless
Soon I won't feel at all
No
It's electric the neon hurt inside your phone call
The layered sadness and the madness it revolves
Bringing down the walls where you found her
No
Well, I'm willing to break myself
To shake this hell from everything I touch
I'm willing to bleed for days my... reds and grays
So you don't hurt so much
And now I'm static
As your sky is turning purple and gray
I'm learning that the further that I crawl
The farther that I fall, is that ok?
No
And you're in pieces
As your world becomes a rainstorm
You've got no shelter I'm a thousand miles away
If you survive the day
You say your leaving
You say your leaving
Well, I'm willing to break myself
To shake this hell from everything I touch
I'm willing to bleed for days my... reds and grays
So you don't hurt so much
So you don't hurt so much
Never again will we fire this gun
No never again your the only one
No never again but you're already gone.
I'm willing to break myself
I'm not afraid
I'm willing to break myself
I'm not afraid
I'm willing to break myself
I'm not afraid
Well, I'm willing to break myself
To shake this hell from everything I touch
I'm willing to bleed for days my... reds and grays
So you don't hurt so much
She whispered my name before her eyes grew too heavy and sleep finally claimed her once again. I kissed the top of her head and promised myself to be strong for her tomorrow. She needed me and for one day I could put all the things I was feeling aside.
I miss the angst but fear not! it will return soon. As always your reviews are very welcome, if I get a nice amount then I might even put Chapter 12 up very soon.
the photobucket account for this story is lambonthelam