MadelineJade and Twilight-is-lovee = my sanity

Since I am in such a good mood I decided you guys deserved Chapter 19 to be put out faster, I have the next 3 days off and expect to finish the story. So thanks for your reviews and well wishes, we put a deposit down on an apartment that is off the L and a few train stops from Sweet Ups! Also to clear up any confusion, Edward's band is named Only By The Night which will be the title to the sequel!

All Characters Belong To Stephenie Meyer and All Songs Belong To Kings Of Leon.

EPOV

"I'll be the one to show you the way; you'll be the one to always complain," I sang while I listened carefully for my cues through the headphones. I had been singing with my eyes closed but stopped abruptly once I had opened them. Emmett had his ass pressed up against the glass of the sound booth. I growled as I grab the headphones off and threw them at the glass, grumbling as I exited the booth.

"What the fuck, Emmett! This isn't play time. I can't sing with you fucking around all the time!" I yelled, with my fists clenched at my side. Emmett was fun at times, but he never understood that there was a time and place for his lewd behavior.

"Aw, Eddiepuss, stop being such a diva all the time. It's not my fault Bella left you," he said in a singsong voice.

Barely a second passed before I lunged at him. I was so pissed that this time it took Jasper, Ben, and our producer, Eric, to pull us apart.

"You guys are never going to get an album recorded if you keep this up," Eric chastised.

I let out an aggravated sigh as I grabbed a beer out of the makeshift garbage can cooler and exited the room. I climbed up the stairs and threw the door to the roof open; it had become my special place the past few weeks. I already had a spare notebook and guitar set up for times like these. I plopped myself down on the plastic chair while taking a deep breath of the cool California air, the stars were barely visible due to the light pollution from all the buildings, but it didn't bother me; it reminded me of home.

Adjusting to life here hadn't been easy. The record label bought us an apartment to share while we were here, which was a living hell. I went from living life completely alone to having to share everything with six people, since the guys had brought their girlfriends with them. I couldn't help but wonder if maybe I'd be less bitter if I had Bella with me.

"Hey, man, are you okay?" Ben asked as he pulled up a chair and sat beside me.

"I don't know," I answered honestly.

"Why don't you call her?" he suggested while he sipped his beer.

"Because things are so fucked up at this point that I don't know what to say. I know she would never cheat on me, but I still feel betrayed. When I told her about leaving, she just shot me down point blank. If she loved me, she would have come with us. Fuck, she could've just stayed for the holidays." Everyone had been tense around me since the breakup, making sure not to mention her name around me, which had me texting Garrett to check up on her like some fucking school girl. She had been playing regularly with James and appeared to be just fine without me.

"I know she misses you."

I snorted at his comment. "You act like I don't know she's off playing house with Jacob."

"It's not what you think," he tried to explain.

"Save it. She can do whatever she wants. I don't care anymore." I had become so good at telling this lie that I started to believe it myself.

"I wasn't supposed to tell you, but I don't think it's fair for you to be kept in the dark. Bella is coming. The label apparently took your earlier suggestion about her seriously and has offered her the opening spot for us. No one wanted to tell you."

"Ah," was the only response I could manage.

"I'll let you have some alone time, but you should come back soon. Eric wants that track finished tonight and your vocals are all that's left."

Before things had gone sour, I had approached Mr. Marks about Bella and suggested she tour with us. I was hoping this would be a way to help her get ahead with her music and a way for us to be together as well. I had forgotten all about it until now. Apparently, our non-existent relationship didn't matter, but I couldn't be upset. She deserved the opportunity. That's when I realized that she was coming, and it wasn't for me. She could move across the country on her own, but she wouldn't do it with me, for me.

Rosalie and Alice had approached me, asking me why I never told Bella that I loved her, although it was apparent in my actions. The truth was that I didn't even know if love was what I felt because my definition was slightly different. To me, love was always pain, hurt, betrayal, and most of all, abandonment. My parents loved each other, which resulted in my mom being unfaithful. Add that to the slew of situations I had been in throughout my life.

I didn't want to love Bella; it meant that I would inevitably hurt her, but the blindness of "love" would allow her to forgive me, always. I didn't want that. I never wanted her to be vulnerable and weak because I could use those words with her. They meant everything to her, but absolutely nothing for me. I cared for her and that meant a whole hell of a lot more then love. It meant that I would be there for her to guide and protect her, be there when she needed me, as well as be a silent supporter when she wanted to stand on her own.

I guess it no longer mattered.

I picked up my guitar and began to strum one of the songs we had recorded the night before.

She said call me now baby, and I'd come a running.

I'm on call, to be there.

One and all, to be there.

And when I fall, to pieces.

Lord, you know, I'll be there waiting.

I'm on call, to be there.

I mumbled bits and piece of the song as I played the notes. It had been painful to write this album, but fuck did it help me get her out of my system. It had nearly been a month since we had come to California. I was at the point where I could get out of bed without a fight and not weep like a fucking baby whenever I saw the color brown. Unfortunately, my numbness would not return. I felt every wound inflicted by her.

Somehow, I had managed to make my way back downstairs to finish recording, relieved that Eric had sent everyone home. It was barely midnight when I exited the studio, and the last thing I wanted to do was go home to spend my time with three couples. I decided on changing my clothes and heading out to a bar, maybe I'd even bring my guitar along. The walk to the apartment was refreshing; it helped clear my mind.

I was approaching the building when I noticed a woman struggling with her suitcase. Her long chestnut hair reminded me of Bella. I walked up to her and cleared my throat to make my presence known. I didn't want her to think I was a mugger.

"I'll help you with that," I offered while I grabbed the suitcases handle. And that's when I realized who it was.

"Thanks," she said as she turned to face me.

"It's you," I stated, disbelieving that Bella was right in front of me. The ever present urge to touch her returned immediately, but I fought it off.

"Hi," she said, forcing a smile.

We just stood there staring at each other for an immeasurable moment. I didn't know what to say anyway. So much had happened and yet it felt as if no time had passed at all. That is until I heard his voice.

"Bella, I told you to wait for us!" Jake chastised as he and James approached us. I took my hand off the handle of her suitcase and shoved it in my pocket. She was here with probably the two guys I hated most in this world. It figured. She really knew how to press my buttons.

Screw it. Let her have her other men.

"Ah, I see you're already taken care of," I said as my shoulders hunched forward a bit and I turned to leave.

"Yup," she said, popping the 'p'.

I decided to take the stairs to avoid an awkward elevator ride. I threw the apartment door open and was relieved to see my family sitting in the living room, just watching TV together.

"Guys, we need to get back to the studio," I said hurriedly as I grabbed my notebook off the coffee table and began writing as I paced in front of them.

"Whoa, slow down. Why?" Jasper asked as he shot Alice a concerned look.

"I have this song, and I want to get it recorded before I lose it," I explained hurriedly as I tried to write the lyrics out. At least through the despair I could still create.

"Dude, it's like twelve. Can't it wait?" Emmett asked.

"Please," I said adamantly as I made eye contact with all three guys. My pleading seemed to do the trick because they apologized to the girls and began to follow me out the door.

We ended up recording three songs that night, every one of them about how she owned my heart completely.

Edward was desperate to get away from her so he could work on trying to get closer to her, he's starting to come around...slowly. Reviews are like air, I need them to survive!