Snow drifted gently to earth, coating the ground with a seemingly impenetrable layer. Erratic footsteps marred the perfect sheet, tumbling and stumbling over one another. It was as if the perpetrator had dragged himself unwillingly up the garden path. The beginnings of dawn tinged the velvet sky like cotton candy on a dark azure tablecloth. Birds chased each other in playful companionship before landing deftly on the sparse branches of bare trees.
The door creaked open on rusty hinges. Severus stumbled in, favouring his left as he listed like a capsizing ship. He was given a warm welcome by the silhouettes, physical and more, that roamed his childhood home of Spinners' End. Waving them away with an impatient mental swipe, he flicked his wand with shaking hands. An innocent mahogany bookcase swung open on well-oiled hinges. He staggered up the stairs, his left hand gripping the handrails while his right summoned various vials of coloured potion. They floated out of the store cupboard and followed behind him, forming an eerie entourage of animated bottles.
He limped into the bathroom as they formed a perfectly straight line before him. Grimacing as he lowered the toilet lid, he perched himself gingerly on the plastic surface. He winched as he reached unsteadily for the vials, downing each one in consecutive order. With each potion, his waxy hue gained a bit more colour and his breathing, which was coming in hard and violent gasps, eased up. After finally swallowing the last vial of thick liquid, he sighed in relief and slumped back, cold porcelain biting into his back. He pushed his long hair out of his eyes and ran a tired hand down his face.
He couldn't do it anymore. He traced the cracks on the cement walls with his eyes. Why, why didn't he have the courage to ask Lily out that night? He mulled it over in his head as his eyes flickered to the mirror that was above the sink. He took in his appearance; greasy limp hair, hooked nose and tired, troubled onyx eyes. He remembered looking into the mirror a long time ago and seeing different. He wondered briefly what Lily had thought of him when they first met at the muggle playground but chased the thought out of his mind.
You are not thinking about Lily, he ordered himself resolutely as he got up and glared at his reflection in the mirror. You were such a fool, such a stupid, moronic dunderhead. His knuckled were as white as the porcelain beneath it.
"That was all it took, wasn't it, Severus," he spat at his reflection as his eyes grew flinty, his face screwed up in rage. "You spend half your time grovelling at the feet of that monster just because you lost her to perfect Potter," his voice hitched as his throat clogged with emotion. "You have no right to think about her," he continued in a deadly low voice. "I will not allow the darkness that has overcome your mind to pollute her memory!"
With a swipe of his hand, the potion vials that were lined innocently behind him flew across the room and shattered against the wall. Anger radiated off his being as he sneered at his own reflection.
"I hate you!" he yelled and in that split second, he was seventeen again, snarling at his own reflection in that very bathroom. "You could have won her over yet you didn't even try!" He glared at himself with an unhealthy amount of self-loathing. "You wouldn't have had to torture for that mad man. You wouldn't have had to be tortured by that sadistic bastard. You wouldn't have become a spy for this stupid war. You could have had a family. Harry could have been yours! Why didn't you do it? Why!" He drew a deep shuddering breath as he stood himself straight. Tremors wracked his frame as tears fell unbidden from eyes that were fiery with rage.
"It's because you were always a coward," he whispered. "Always."
Raising a clenched fist, he lunged forwards, shattering the mirror in a violent explosion of glass. The pieces fell like sped-up confetti and landed in a scattering of white dust on the floor. Blood dripped from his hand, contaminating the clean white tiles with the darkness within. A gut-wrenching sob ripped from his throat as he collapsed to his knees.
Outside, the birds sang.
A/N: I took down Mirrors and put it up as the second chapter of My Only Dance after some minor editions. This is going to be a three-shot with the final chapter coming soon. I hope you enjoy it (: