Lockdown Chapter 9: Troubled, a high school musical fanfic

I am still in the processes of editing this chapter. It is quite a long one, but do not be put off by the length. It was somewhat necessary.

Lockdown by Tertiary Genesis

Chapter 9: Troubled

Sharpay had decided that she would take her brother straight home.

Jason went to take Troy back to the cafeteria to have what was left of the pizza.

They were going opposite ways and as Jason lead Troy back towards the cafeteria, the captain looked back towards Ryan. He had the same look of regret on his face, and Ryan felt a single tear escape his watery eyes, before turning away from his solitude companion and followed his sister out of the school.

--XxXxX--

The two Evans' left the school out of the side door. It was supposed to be the Arts Block fire exit, but people used it so frequently, they just disabled the alarm on the door at first, and then they just replaced the door entirely, with proper glass doors like the other entrances to the school.

They exited through these doors, Ryan running ahead to hold the door open for his sister, not out of gentlemanly chivalry, but more a force of habit. He was used to holding doors open for his sister, even though he was his own individual now, and knew he did not have to do everything Sharpay tells him to do; he still tends to do it because it is harder to break a habit, then to start one.

Sharpay did not mind when her brother performed these submissive tasks. Why would she? Help is usually so hard to find these days. It was a little weird that Ryan still did these menial tasks since his "coming out", so to speak, over the summer, finding his individuality. Coming out? Great! Sharpay had just reminded herself of her brother's apparent homosexuality and her internal argument over the sexuality of her fraternal twin consumed her once more.

The blonde foresaw her head aching from all this thinking the next day. Thank goodness, the next day was Sunday. She looked over to her brother as she passed him, walking out the door. She could see the faint, drying tear trail running down one of Ryan's cheeks. Ryan was obviously upset and there she was, thinking about the headache that she was going to receive.

Ryan's eyes saw his sister walk past him, but his brain did not process it, filing it to the side, as it was busy with more pressing matters. Troy gave him a look before they parted. It looked like guilt, regret, or shame. Was Troy already rethinking their secret relationship? Was Troy already ending their secret relationship? They had just agreed to be secret boyfriends. Was that already over? Had it even begun?

Ryan was already feeling the pains of a homosexual life. He was keeping such a precious secret, which he was unsure as to whether it still existed. Troy was obviously sending him a message. Was Troy trying to say that he was ashamed at what they did? Was Troy regretting it? Was Troy feeling guilty about it?

So many questions were running through Ryan's head, none of which had an answer, but asked more questions. Then there was Gabriella. Who could forget Gabriella? Ryan forgot about Gabriella. During all that time when he and Troy were falling for each other or pushing each other away, he never thought to bring up the fact that Troy already had a girlfriend.

It would seem that Troy was reminded of his girlfriend at that last moment. Maybe that was why Troy was looking guilty. Would Troy choose Gabriella over Ryan? The blond already knew the answer. Clearly, he was not the one in the winning pile.

Sharpay was already halfway to her car when she turned around and did not find Ryan following closely behind her. She thought it may have just been part of his newfound individuality but as she quickly scanned the vicinity for signs of her brother, she noticed he was nowhere to be found. The blonde retraced her steps, still on the lookout for her twin. She found him still holding the door open, frozen in his position as if he were the statue of a doorman. She approached him cautiously, fearing that the next move he makes is an explosive one, as if his stillness was so he could wind himself up, creating internal pressure and tension. She tentatively poked him, causing him to snap out of his trance and look her way, still with a dazed expression on his face.

Sharpay was relieved that her brother was ok, or at least he seemed healthy; but then all the other anxieties she had which were making her head ache came back. She pushed all other worries out of her mind, and focused on her own personal agenda. Things were so much easier when she just thought of herself, and caused much less of a headache… for herself.

"Ryan, come on. We have to get home". Sharpay tugged on one of Ryan's arms in an attempt to get him to come with her.

Ryan did not make a sound, or move a muscle, barely acknowledging his sister's presence aside from turning his head to face her. He was not even looking at her; he seemed to be looking through her. This made Sharpay a little annoyed. She hated being ignored.

"Ryan! We have to get home now! I need to… talk to… mother about… Jandra…" Sharpay said, remembering her encounter with the Lady's Maid earlier that day.

Ryan continued to be unresponsive but allowed himself to be tugged by his sister towards her car. He was still very much deep in thought.

Ryan had been contemplating heavily on more than just his dwindling relationship with Troy, but also on his sexuality, or sexual orientation. Before walking into that drama room, he was sure he was straight, but now, he was not as certain. He did like the things Troy was doing (the kissing, not the emotional baggage that followed), but none of it was really gender specific. Ryan could have easily imagined a girl doing those things to him and it would have felt the same. A mouth is a mouth, right?

Other questions were plaguing Ryan's mind, thinking back to the conversation he had with Troy about his type. Even now, the blond still could not discern a type, especially when he was unsure about the gender. Could he be gay? He had put so much effort into fighting the thought that he had never really stopped to consider it long enough. Maybe it was just a phase. Maybe he was just experimenting, though Ryan had not exactly tried the vanilla yet, why is he already trying the chocolate? Because the chocolate is so damn fine! Well, he was not going to get over Troy with that mentality.

Sharpay continued to tug her uncooperative brother across the parking lot, telling him off about how stubborn he was being, and ordering him around to no avail. It was amazing how she had managed to drag him thus far considering how he had been absently opposing her actions every step of the way, refusing to take any correct strides in the right direction.

Sharpay was practically zigzagging her way towards her car, somehow finding the strength to dig her heels in and pull her brother toward their destination. They say in the face of great adversity, the human body can call on great reserves of physical and mental strength to pull through almost anything, and Sharpay was desperately determined to get away from her headaches and confusion. She needed to get home and exercise some more dominion over her domain at the Evans household. Ryan continued to be unhelpful.

Ryan was so deep in thought. What if Troy was a one-off thing? Ryan did not seem to be attracted to any other guys. Maybe it was just Troy. If that were the case, then he could very well still be straight, and since Troy was apparently breaking it off already, then he could still lead a normal, heterosexual life. He would not have to worry about being the target of discrimination and abuse. He would not have to worry about being called names like "fag" or be looked down upon. He could be straight.

Ryan decided it was infinitely easier being straight and once he came to this realization, he suddenly took in his surroundings, startling his sister, but managed to walk the remaining distance to her car without aid.

--XxXxX--

Troy walked back towards the East High cafeteria with Jason at his side, though walking slightly behind him, as if observing and respecting rank. They walked down the various corridors of East High in silence.

Troy's mind was running through the "alone time" he had with a certain blond just earlier. It is interesting to think that as recently as that morning; Troy never really had had any thoughts about being with guys. He was open to the idea. "Feelings have no gender," he always believed, and the target of those feelings should not be limited to one gender either, it just is not fair. If you fall for a guy, you fall for a guy; it is not your fault.

Troy had fallen for a guy, someone he was not really expecting to develop feelings for, but in retrospect, he could see that they were always there. How had he not noticed Ryan before? Troy thought back to when he watched Ryan audition for the Winter Musicale with Sharpay. Where were these feelings back then? It took being locked in a room all alone with the blond for Troy to find the feelings he never knew he had, but now cannot fathom how he ever lived without them. Ryan had suddenly seemed necessary to breathe and Troy started to take much deeper breaths, believing he had a shortage of air.

Jason noticed his captain's sudden shortage of breath and increased his walking pace so that he was in line with Troy, in case he needed any help. He never knew Troy to be asthmatic and they had played many games on court and done countless tiring drills without incident. He glanced over to see if Troy needed any assistance, and his gaze strangely focused on the taller boy's mouth as Jason watched air quickly move in and out passed Troy's lips. Jason's mind began to wander down a weird path, seeing in his mind what he had just recently witnessed, his captain's lips pressed against another guy's, and wondered that that felt like. Weird.

Troy noticed Jason staring at him strangely, so he placed all his efforts into correcting his breathing. He needed to get a grip and take back some control. Jason turned away when Troy looked over. He dropped back a bit again, walking behind Troy instead of beside him now.

Troy was going through the conversations he had in that drama room when he had managed to bring his breathing back to normal. Their talk in the room started to echo around Troy's head. It was discussions of who they liked and stuff. Troy always had a great memory. He could remember conversations almost verbatim. A good memory was something necessary when you were a playmaker. Each following word just seemed to flow out once he remembered the first. If they had the same conversation now, would their responses be different?

"So…"

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No"

"I'm sorry I asked it"

"Nah, it's ok. I didn't really mind you asking. I was just kinda confused as to why you asked, but it's ok. How are things going with you and Gabriella?"

Gabriella. Yet again, Troy's thoughts had been so pre-occupied by the Drama King that he had totally forgotten about his girlfriend. She was a nice enough girl, but was she enough? Would Ryan be enough? Either way, Troy knew he could not have both. People say that when you are torn between two engagements, it is best to go with the longest standing one. This would mean that Troy should go with Gabriella, but then again, Troy has only known Gabriella for less than a year. He has known Ryan for… well, he did not really know Ryan much until a recently.

"Would you mind if I take my shirt off? It is getting really hot. You can take yours off too if you want"

"I guess that's fine"

"Have you got a 5?"

"Nah, go fish."

"What? I know you have a 5. I saw it!"

"So you're cheating now?"

"You're the one who's cheating…"

The kiss. That kiss was amazing. Thinking back to it, Troy could feel the lips against his, as if he were being kissed by Ryan's ghost right there in the corridor. It was one of those great moments Troy knew he would remember for the rest of his life, but then as his memory of the moment continued to run, he was reminded of "when the sh!t hit the fan". In retrospect, Troy felt that it would have probably been better to keep his mouth shut than to ask about the kiss.

"Why did you kiss me?"

"Why do you care? You pulled back."

"Did you not want me to pull back?"

"What?! NO! I mean, yes! I mean, I wanted you to pull back!"

"Then why did you kiss me in the first place?"

"I don't know. It was an accident…"

"How could it be an accident? You kissed me!"

"Why do you care so much? You pretty much bolted immediately when it happened."

" It was an accident…"

"Oh, so you can have accidents and I can't?!"

"No, I didn't mean… I just… I didn't mean to run away, okay?"

"Okay?! Do you think this is ok?"

He could see the image of the bruise so clearly in his mind. He had hurt Ryan so badly. They had gotten really emotional in that room. Maybe that was just it. Maybe all that happened with Ryan was just a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing. It had all happened so fast. One moment they barely new each, sharing a snack bar; and the next they were making out and becoming secret boyfriends. Troy's relationship with Gabriella did not start that fast and it had been going strong.

Troy came to the conclusion that the thing he had with Ryan was not real, but a result of being trapped in a small room and full of emotions. It was nothing and he was better off staying with Gabriella.

As Troy was in the middle of that last realization, he was pushed forward from behind and found himself on the floor, flat on his belly, with his Wildcat teammate on top of him. He had forgotten Jason was following behind him but was now very much reminded of the fact.

Jason had been walking closely behind Troy and tripped over his own foot, toppling into the taller boy in front of him. He did not seem this clumsy on the court, but then again, he did not wear his two-sizes-too-big skate shoes when playing ball. He was also somewhat distracted by Troy's cute ass when he tripped.

The boys managed to detangle themselves from each other and got up, Jason constantly apologizing to Troy as they dusted themselves off before continuing towards the school cafeteria.

Troy allowed a single tear to fall from his eyes as he said a silent goodbye to Ryan, in his mind officially ending the relationship that had never really begun. This was one very emotional day for him.

--XxXxX--

The Evans twins were already in Sharpay's car, on their way home. They passed a familiar park, which marks the halfway point between school and home. This meant that there was only fifteen more minutes of awkward driving to endure before they reached the safety of the house and Sharpay was extremely relieved of this fact. Driving home with a broody brother was something very new to her. Ryan was usually a happy, excitable person; but all that seemed to have changed.

Sharpay adjusted the rear view mirror slightly to get a better look at her brother without appearing too intrusive but met his eyes looking right back in the mirror. She quickly re-adjusted it again seeing that he had noticed what she was doing and directed the mirror to point to herself instead.

The blonde chose to re-employ the tactic of being self-absorbed to forget about her external worries. Sharpay internally complemented herself on her perfect complexion, and suddenly remembered why she was hunting for Ryan at the school in the first place.

"Why did you take my Crème?"

The sudden break of silence startled Ryan. Caught off guard, his sister's question confused Ryan, not understanding why she was asking the question. "What?!"

"My Crème de la Mer… you stole it! I want to know why!"

Ryan was at a loss for words. He was still very confused by what Sharpay was saying. He could tell by the awkward first half of their journey home that Sharpay had not somehow "forgotten" about what she must have witnessed in the drama room. Normally she would have immediately been talking a whole lot about something superficial but she did not. Now she was suddenly being all superficial again and this sudden change was just too much for Ryan to handle at that moment. "What?!"

"Why did you steal my Crème de la Mer?" Sharpay said each word slowly and separately getting frustrated at her brother's ignorance. She thought he was playing dumb to try to weasel his way out of the situation.

Ryan still could not comprehend why here sister was suddenly talking about her facial cream. There were issues of such greater magnitude at hand. Ryan decided it was best to get some of what he was thinking out. He was never really one to bottle things up until the Lockdown, and he was finding it an awful sensation.

"You did see me with Troy, right?"

"What?! With Troy? You weren't with Troy." Sharpay had reverted to the denial defense.

"Yes I was."

"No you weren't."

"Don't tell me you didn't see him in the room…" Ryan looked over to his sister but she seemed to be concentrating on the road a little more than usual. She did not respond to his remark.

"Wow! It's amazing how you can spot the mismatched bracelet on a freshman from the other end of a corridor, but the fact that Troy was in a room totally escapes you."

"No!" Her brother's lack of understanding was frustrating Sharpay. "I know Troy was there, but he wasn't with you. If Troy were with an Evans, he would be with me."

"But he was with me."

At that point, Sharpay just blew it. She seemed to have exploded in the driver's seat, ranting about how Troy was supposed to be hers and how Ryan could not possibly have Troy. In her heightened emotional state, Sharpay temporarily lost control of her vehicle and almost ran into oncoming traffic but managed to right herself in time, avoiding collision but still got an angry shout and horn toot from the other driver. She manages to pull the car over but her rant never ceases.

"No! He is mine! He is supposed to be mine! He cannot be yours if he is mine! Where is your proof? Huh?"

Sharpay's rant finally came to a momentary halt as she paused, glaring at Ryan with a look that seemed like she was daring him to answer.

"Well there was the kiss…" Ryan said quietly, "…and he isn't mine anyway," he added though his second comment sounded more like a mumble, even to his own ears and he was sure Sharpay hadn't heard it.

It was now Sharpay's turn to be lost for words. She was about to start her rant again, when she heard Ryan's reply and something clicked in her brain. OMG! Ryan kissed Troy Bolton!

--XxXxX--

The two Wildcats arrive in the cafeteria to an amusing scene where Chad was on his stomach, lying on the ground with three cheerleaders sitting on his back. Apparently, he could not get up. Everybody noticed Troy enter and greeted him; the cheerleaders on Chad remained seated as they waved up to Troy.

"Troy! Man, help me up!"

Troy could not help but laugh at his best friend's predicament. The mood in the room was so light and airy with the large glass windows covering one whole side of the cafeteria, allowing lots of natural light into the large room, contrasting greatly with the Drama room Troy had only recently been trapped in. Everyone was laughing and joking around as Chad finally managed to get the girls on his back to allow him up to greet his friend properly.

"Hey Troy! What happened to you, man?"

"I got trapped in one of the rooms when the Lockdown thing happened."

"Really?! Didn't you hear the warnings?"

"Nah, the Drama corridors have a screwed up sound system, remember?"

"I don't really go there, dude. You know that."

Troy laughed. It was nice to feel happy again. He was back where he should be; just hanging out with friends, making jokes, having a good time.

"So did you see Evans while you were there? Sharpay came by looking for him."

"Umm, yeah…" Troy considered whether he should tell everyone that he was trapped in the room with the guy, then realized that no harm could really come from telling, and it is better to be honest. "He was actually in the room with me when I got trapped." Troy looked over to Jason and they made a silent agreement to leave certain parts of the story out.

This new development piqued everyone's interest and they all gathered around to hear what had happened. Troy explained about the door locking and why Ryan had been in the room, and how Jason had come and saved them from their confines but made it seem like they just sat around and did nothing in the room. Jason had entered into the storytelling when his part came up and proudly explained how he found the master code as well as the scary antics of the female Evans, which made everyone laugh.

"So where is Sharpay now?" Zeke asked.

"She and Ryan took the back way to the parking lot and are probably on their way home by now."

"Oh…" Zeke sighed. He had been doing his part of the school when Sharpay had come in the first time and so missed her. He had been hoping to see her on her way out since everyone explained to him about her randomly coming in.

Everyone was now joking about Zeke's bizarre crush on the blonde twin when someone came up behind Troy and placed their hands over his eyes.

"Guess who?"

Troy did not need to guess. He could tell immediately who it was from her voice and her hands. He could recognize the touch of her hands and the sound of her voice so clearly, yet just moments before, he had totally forgotten her existence. He did not respond to the question but just pulled the hands down so that the arms rested on his shoulders, and turned around.

"Hey Gabriella," he said to her, though with a slight sense of guilt in his tone. Gabriella noticed something was off and was about to ask about it when Troy gave her a quick peck on the lips.

Troy could see that Gabriella knew something was off so quickly kissed her to hide it. The moment his lips made contact with Gabriella's, he found himself thinking back to Ryan and their first kiss. Maybe it wasn't just the heat of the moment. His mind starts going off track but Troy catches himself before he gives too much away.

"So… what are you doing here?" He asks Gabriella, trying to cover up his moment in the clouds.

"I just wanted to surprise you."

"Oh… ok… Thanks," Troy said, but his mind was still flitting back to inside the Drama room and his moments with Ryan.

"Is something wrong Troy?" Gabriella asked concerned.

Troy did not answer. He just looked at her blankly, considering what he would say, should he decide to open his mouth.

"He is probably just exhausted and hungry from being trapped in a small room for so long," someone suggested.

"Trapped? What happened?" The level of concern in Gabriella's voice rose dramatically.

The other Wildcats explained to Gabriella what happened with Troy as she listened intently, her hand squeezing Troy's hand to show her anxiety. Troy, however, was not paying attention but rather thinking about a certain blond again. He was now rethinking the decision he had made earlier to stick with Gabriella. Ryan was obviously not just a heat-of-the-moment thing. He was snapped out of his thoughts when Chad nudged him, apparently asking for a response to something he said.

"Sorry, what?"

"Are you sure you're ok, man?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. What did you say?"

"I said, at least you weren't alone and were stuck with Ryan. He's cool, aye?"

Troy internally agreed with Chad, though a lot more so than he probably should have. He was zoning out again as visions of Ryan's face once again invaded his thoughts. He realized he hadn't answered yet when he noticed everyone looking at him weirdly, especially Jason, whom Troy felt knew, what was going on inside his mind.

"Umm, yeah, he's cool."

His teammates still looked at him concernedly but then Coach Bolton had come in and announced that everyone should head home. Everybody said their goodbyes and confirmed plans for get-togethers on the Sunday. Troy walked with his father towards the parking lot before their quick drive home. They lived pretty close to East High but Troy's dad insisted on driving them both everyday anyway.

--XxXxX--

The Evans twins were back on the road and already close to home, after Sharpay's blowout. A new awkward silence had reigned in again when Sharpay realized her brother had indeed kissed Troy Bolton. She decided to busy herself with the radio and found Sum41's "With Me" playing on one of the stations. Sharpay was not usually one to be into a band like Sum41 but she had like the song "With Me" ever since it featured on a recent episode of Gossip Girl, her new favorite show.

"I don't want this moment, to ever end, where everything's nothing, without you."

Sharpay glanced across to her brother and noticed a look she does not see often. It reminded her of how her brother had looked over the summer when she had selfishly replaced him with Troy for the Midsummer Talent Show. Thinking back, she was always just thinking of herself and seemed to step all over everyone just to get her way, even her own brother. She suddenly felt extremely guilty over how she had been treating him, not just recently but over their entire lives, as it would seem. By the end of the summer, she had promised herself to be more considerate towards others, especially towards Ryan, but she seemed to be going back on that promise. She was determined to change.

"Through it all, I made my mistakes. I stumble and fall, but I mean these words."

Sharpay resigned to the idea of Ryan being with "her" man. Her justification was that at least it was one of the Evans twins who had snagged the Wildcat Superstar. It was better than it being that Montez girl. The blonde was suddenly overcome with a feeling of smugness at the thought of Troy leaving Gabriella for an Evans. It gave her some sense of accomplishment after her feeble attempts of breaking them up over the summer, and gave her a sense of family pride knowing that her brother was successful in one fell swoop. She was prepared to be happy for Ryan and his newfound relationship. That was when she got curious.

"So… What's it like kissing Troy Bolton?" Sharpay asked with a smirk.

Ryan did not even respond to the question. He was yet again confused by why his sister was asking a question, but also consumed by the sudden flood of memories of the kiss that had him zoning out.

"Thoughts read unspoken, forever in doubt pieces of memories fall to the ground I know what I didn't have so I won't let this go 'cause it's true, I am nothing without you"

With memories of the kiss came memories of the aftermath. Ryan recalled pushing Troy down and calling him a fag. Regret was pouring into his already bubbling concoction of emotions, swirling around at the pit of his stomach. Ryan remembered Troy coming out to him, and as his mind ran through the conversation, he was again reminded of the incident when he was twelve with the ice cream. "Gay" was not something Ryan wanted to be.

"All the streets where I walked alone, with nowhere to go; I've come to an end"

The memories of the Lockdown continued flowing through the blond and he unconsciously reached up and lightly touched the bruised flesh through his shirt. Troy had kissed him there, and the sensations of Troy's kisses seemed how have returned making Ryan's mind go blank momentarily.

Sharpay caught Ryan's movement from the corner of her eye, looked over and saw a glazed over expression on her brother's face. "That good, huh?" she quipped.

Ryan snapped back to reality when his sister spoke up. "Huh?"

"I said, 'that good, huh?'" Jokes were never funny if they had to be repeated and normally Sharpay would have been annoyed but she let this one slide.

"Oh… Uhh… It doesn't really make a difference. It's not like it is going to happen again."

Sharpay was now confused. "What? Why not?"

Ryan did not answer immediately. He just sat still. There was a short silence again between the two siblings, with the only sounds in the car coming from the radio.

"In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies when you don't know what you're looking to find"

"Ryan? Why wouldn't it happen again?" Sharpay asked her question again.

Ryan did not answer immediately. "It's like you said earlier in the room. He is with Gabriella."

"What? Didn't he leave her for you?"

"No…"

"So what? He's just… using you?" Sharpay was getting angry at Troy. How could he do such a thing?

"No… I don't think so… I think he just… forgot." Now that Ryan had said it aloud, it sounded pretty stupid, even to him.

"Forgot? How could you just forget something like-…?"

"Look!" Ryan cut her off. "I dunno… just… calm down… it doesn't matter anyway. Things are better this way. It's easier being straight."

Sharpay became silent. She did not have a response to her brother's last remark. She could tell he was having some major internal struggle and decided to leave him be and not add herself to his mounting pile of problems and issues to deal with.

"I want you to know with everything I won't let this go; these words are my heart and soul I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show and I won't let go"

As the final piano instrumental of the song played over the radio, Sharpay pulled into the driveway of their family home, feeling very different to when she had left it earlier that day.

--XxXxX--

Troy found himself in his room, again replaying the events of the Lockdown. He had come out to Ryan. He had come out as completely gay and he told Ryan this. Thinking back, he did not really know why he did this. He knew he was into guys, but to be a homosexual? What about Gabi?

"Ryan… umm… I'm gay... and… uhh… I like you."

"Why are you telling me this, Troy?"

"I… I just thought… you should know…"

It sounded extremely stupid in his head. He must have been high on something to just come out and confess all that, especially to someone who had just called him a fag and a queer.

"Are you trying to turn me gay?!"

"No!"

"Then what Bolton?! 'Cause I am not going to say I like you back, because I am NOT gay!"

"What is your problem?! I thought you were my friend?!"

That part sounded extremely childish to him. He chuckled a bit to him self, thinking about what he had said. "I thought you were my friend?!" It was the kind of thing you say in Grade One when you wanted a kid to do something.

"I am. I'm sorry… I just… I'm sorry. I still want to be friends"

"Ok…What about the fag thing?"

"I'm sorry I called you a fag. I just… I didn't… I freaked out. I'm sorry… I just thought… sorry."

"You weren't wrong, I guess, but it still hurt. What is with this sudden homophobia? What have you got against gay people?"

"It's not gay people… it's… umm… I just… I don't like homosexuality"

"Why not? There's nothing wrong with it."

"Well…"

That was when Troy heard the story, a story that scares even him. He had never fully admitted his homosexuality before for fear of all the discrimination and persecution that such a confession would bring about. He thought that if he did not admit it, he might not have to become it. He never really understood that it was not really his choice.

"So you think I'm a freak?!"

"No! It's not that. I'm just… afraid of turning gay…"

"Well… Are you turning gay?"

"I dunno… How did you know you were gay?"

"Well… I guess I kinda noticed how I did not really like girls that much, sexually, and then I started noticing guys…"

Well that seemed to answer his previous question. They say no one is one hundred percent gay, or one hundred percent straight; and Troy did not really consider himself bi. There was a reason he did not have a girlfriend before Gabriella, even if he did not really know it himself.

At that moment, Troy's dad entered his room, telling him that dinner was ready. Apparently, Troy had drifted off to sleep sometime after they had gotten home and before he knew it, two hours had already passed. It was already dinnertime but Troy was still caught up in his memories, or dreams.

Jack Bolton noticed that something was troubling his son. He had seen it in his face on the drive home but chose not to push the matter. He knew that Troy would tell him what was troubling him when he was ready. They shared a good father-son relationship, which had always been open and honest, one of the things Jack loved about his son. He looked over to his son, lying in bed and judging by his facial expression, could tell that Troy was deep in thought. He probably did not hear him the first time, so Jack repeated himself a bit louder.

"Hey Troy! Dinner is ready."

Troy jerked out of his somniferous thoughts and snapped up into an upright sitting position on his bed. He glanced at his father with an exhausted look on his face, his mind still trying to recall and process what his father had just told him. "Huh?!"

"What's up with you today? Are you okay, son?" Troy's father asked concernedly.

"I'm fine, just tired… I guess," Troy lied.

Jack Bolton was not convinced but like in the car ride home, he did not push the matter. "Okay, well then come down for dinner. Your mother made meatloaf."

"Alright, just give me a sec." Troy swung his legs over the side of his bed and watched his father exit his room to head for the dining room.

The Wildcat could not find the energy to push him off the bed, nor the will power to try. His mind was still racing, poking holes at his own decisions. Troy was one to second-guess his own actions ad nauseam. His mind was still stuck on the topic of his newfound sexuality. He was gay, he was okay with that, but what was Gabriella then? Did he ever feel a real attraction towards her? Why did he go out with her if he was not actually into her gender?

So many questions were hammering away at his decisions in his mind; Troy felt as if the whole world had begun to crash down all around him. He felt as if he was drowning and he knew only two people who could save him, his parents.

--XxXxX--

The Drama King had been spending the time between coming home and dinner locked in his room, determined not to think of a certain brunet. He wanted to expel the corrupting feelings that had entered his system that day and decided to cure his ailments with a large dosage of Story of the Year. He wasn't really one you would expect to listen to post-hardcore, punk rock but Ryan knew the secrets of music. Music was like his drug, it allowed him to escape, and you take different kinds for different purposes.

Ryan did not only listen to Show Tunes as most people would think, but had a wide range of music that he listened to, depending on his mood, or need. He played percussion instrumentals and drum kit solos when he felt that the world was going excessively fast or too slow and he needed to get back into beat. He played awesome power ballads when he just wanted to escape from the world and go on a high; and he played hardcore punk rock when he just wanted to drown out the noise; drown out all the issues of life. The song that was currently blasting out of his personal, in-room, surround sound speakers was "Dive Right In" from Story of the Year's album, "Page Avenue". The song seemed particularly fitting for Ryan's situation. He was determined to fight his natural instincts of survival and allow himself to drift away from the thing he wanted the most.

Sharpay could hear Ryan's music from her room on across the atrium. She could not hear the actual lyrics but she knew the song from the melody, having heard Ryan playing it a few times, and could hear the lyrics in her head, "And although my hands are shaking, I lie perfectly still, 'cause I'm determined to let myself sink down". She knew something must have really been upsetting Ryan if he was playing this song. The last time she could recall him playing that song was when he had humiliated himself in front of the entire East High student body during a school assembly. He had really just wanted to drown away that day, and Sharpay could tell this day was probably similar.

She decided she would go and console her brother before he did any lasting damage to himself, especially his eardrums, but wanted to apply some of her Crème de la Mer first. Now that she had gotten it back from her brother's clutches, she no longer had to ration its use and she wanted her skin to feel refreshed when she comforted Ryan. She searched around for where she had put her Crème, only to realize she had left it in her car. She went to one of several double garages contained within the Evans household and was surprised by the sight. She saw only her car in the garage and an empty space where Ryan's car would normally be. She continued to look at the empty space curiously, as she grabbed her Crème from her car and a thought suddenly occurred to her. How did Ryan get to East High? She decided to go ask him.

Ryan was lying on his back, across his bed with his head dangling backwards over the edge of one side. In his upside-down view of the world, he saw Sharpay enter the room and say something that he did not catch because of the volume of his music.

"And I know I'm buried too far down, to feel the warmth from the sun again."

Sharpay was now yelling something to Ryan but her voice was still not loud enough to compete with his music. Sharpay may have achieved some amazing feats with her vocal cords but she was yet to be in league with Ryan's stereos. He decided to turn down his music so he could hear his sister's voice. It might have been something important like the house was on fire or something. He did not get up but groped around his bed, while still lying on his back, in search of the remote for the stereo system.

Sharpay could tell was her brother was doing. He was being lazy. She scanned the bed he was lying on and saw that the remote he was searching for was not on it. She quickly looked around the room form her spot by the door and found the remote on his desk. Ryan would have been groping for ages before realizing it was not even on his bed, so Sharpay went over to his desk and got the remote herself. She turned off Ryan's music instead of just turning it down, much to Ryan's disapproval.

"Hey! I was listening to that!"

"Yes, and you were also damaging your hearing."

"I don't wear earrings."

Sharpay huffed in frustration, placing her hands on her hips as she attempted to give her brother her best look of contempt but was finding it difficult seeing as he was still looking at her upside-down.

"Ryan, you should get up. Your face is turning purple."

"So…"

"So… I heard that if you are like that too long, it could recolor the pigmentation of your facial skin."

With that, Ryan bolted up and ran over to his mirror to check if his face had permanently turned purple. It was not really that purple, and it was slowly turning pink. Ryan watched his face in the mirror for a while and when he was confident that he was not going to look like a blond turnip when he gets to school on Monday morning, he turned to address Sharpay.

"What are you doing here?"

Sharpay suddenly realized that she had forgotten her initial reason for coming to Ryan's room. She knew it was not actually about the music, but she could no longer recall what her purpose for confronting Ryan was.

Ryan saw the look on his sister's face and instantly knew what it meant. Her sister had forgotten something, which was rare but not impossible, so Ryan tended to make a note of it when it happened; but he was so caught up that day. He just wanted to get away and now his mind numbing music had been turned off, it felt like all the thoughts and emotions he had been suppressing had come flooding back in. He needed to get away, so he pushed passed his sister and walked to the garage to take his car out for a spin.

"Ryan!"

The "Mountain Lion" followed her sibling out of the room. She did not like being ignored. She found him at the door of the garage, where she had been moments ago, frozen. She looked inside to see what he was gawking at and remembered what she was in Ryan's room for.

"I remembered what I was going to ask now. How did you get to school?"

Ryan did not answer. He just continued being paralyzed, rooted to the spot. Ryan just seemed to stop moving when his mind went into overdrive. It was as if his mind could no longer work on moving him because it had other things to do. Ryan was thinking back to when they left the school, trying to remember if he saw his car there. He was getting a bad feeling that his car may have been stolen or something.

"Hey… umm… Sharpay, could you drive me back to school? I think my car might be stolen."

"Stolen, I doubt it. The car has those anti-theft systems you know. Besides, I need to stay home to fix my manicure. Trying to open that door was damaging. Try asking Troy. I'm sure he's home."

She had said it without thinking, but after it left her mouth, she was immediately regretting it. Troy was the person in their school and grade living closest to them. He lived only a few houses down, and actually walking distance from the Evans household. The Evans had never really asked the Boltons for anything before, and vice versa, but they made a point to acknowledge their proximity in case of emergency.

Ryan said a silent goodbye to his car. He was not feeling up to seeing Troy again that day.

--XxXxX--

Troy was sitting at the dinner table with his parents but had barely touched his food. He had only taken one bite of his meatloaf and he had swallowed that bite a while ago. He was now just staring at his plate, rolling a pea around with his fork.

"Is something wrong, dear?" asked Troy's mother.

"The food is great, mom. Thanks."

"Honey, you've barely touched your food," she had unnecessarily informed him.

"I've just got a lot of things on my mind at the moment."

"Well, would you like to talk about it? Your father and I are always here to talk if you need to."

Troy glanced between his mother and father. His mom looked concerned but his dad tried to remain somewhat indifferent.

Jack Bolton was trying to show Troy that he should be strong and can try to work it out on his own if he wants, but also show that he cared and was there if he was needed. He did not want to smother him but give him his space, yet not be out of reach. It was a difficult position being the father of a teenager, as Jack Bolton learned when he first discovered his son had auditioned for the East High Winter Musical. His parenting skills were improving with each new issue he guided his son through like over the summer break. He knew he needed to give Troy time, but was finding it difficult, seeing his son so troubled.

Troy knew his parents were always good for advice. They had always been there for him when he went through the rough patches of teenage life, especially his dad. Troy decided he would tell them, hoping they would understand and maybe help him too.

"Okay. I have something to tell you. Mom, dad, I'm gay."

An awkward silence descended upon the dinner table. Troy did not continue immediately, choosing to pause so that it could sink in. He looked at his parents. His mom appeared to be confused, as if she did not understand what "gay" meant, and his father continued to look indifferent, thought his expression seemed to have tensed up.

"A-a-are you sure? Do you need to take a test to be sure? Is there a test for this kind of thing?" asked Lucile Bolton.

"No, mom. I don't think there is a test, and I'm pretty sure."

"Maybe it's just a phase… maybe you will grow out of it…"

"Honey…" Jack Bolton tried to stop his wife's hysterics.

"Ohh, this is all my fault! I should have been encouraging the basketball more."

"Honey…"

"Maybe it was my genes. I have faulty genes. We think your uncle might be gay."

"Honey…"

"Mom!"

Mrs. Bolton stopped her rant, startled by her son.

"There is nothing wrong with being gay."

"Of course there isn't, son. We are glad you told us and still feel like you can confide in us. I love you, son." Jack got up and went to hug Troy.

"I love you, dad. Thanks."

"I know there isn't anything wrong with being gay. I guess I over reacted. You know I will always love you, Troy."

"I love you too, mom."

The whole family was in a group hug, and Troy started crying tears of relief at how this was turning out.

"So is that why you have been so upset this afternoon?" Troy's mother asked.

"Sorta. It's about Gabriella. What am I supposed to do?"

"Well, if you don't feel the same way about her, as she does about you, you should probably end it soon," suggested Troy's dad.

"But, I don't want to hurt her feelings."

"She will be more hurt when she finds you with a boyfriend and discovers you had been lying to her for such a long time."

"I know. It's just hard."

"It always is. Just remember, we are always here for you."

"Thanks."

"So… do you have a boyfriend?" asked Lucile.

"Well… sorta."

"Who?"

"Ryan Evans…"

"The kid who won the Talent show at lava springs?" Jack Bolton asked.

"Yeah… That's him."

"Oh… He seems nice. I can't wait to meet him."

"It will be a while before that, I think."

"Ohh ok… This has been a good talk, but I think we should all turn in now. I'll clear the table. You get some rest, Troy. We can talk more in the morning," announced Troy's father.

Troy went up to his room and changed into his sleeping clothes. He was so happy about how things were turning out. His parents were happy, and he even already had a boyfriend after only one day of being gay. Therefore, he did not have to break it off with Ryan after all. He decided to call him and tell him about telling his parents. He was so happy and wanted to share it with someone, as well as wanting to hear Ryan's voice again.

He called Ryan's cell phone. He heard it ringing. It rang about ten times before he gave up. Ryan must have it on silent or is sleeping already. He would try again in the morning.

--XxXxX--

"Yeah he's a looker, but I really think it's guts that matter most. I displayed them for you, strewn out about from coast to coast."

Ryan could hear his phone ringing from the other side of the room. He tried to ignore it but the ringtone seemed to get increasingly louder as time went by. He got out of bed and walked over to his desk where his phone was sitting and could see from the caller ID that it was Troy calling him.

Ryan felt that he did not have the emotional or mental strength to survive a conversation with the other boy at that moment so chose to ignore the phone. He did not get it to hang up on Troy, but just allowed it to ring. He did not have voicemail, because he hated having to check it so his phone continued to ring until the other person hung up.

"I gotta feel you in my bones again, I'm all over you. I'm not over you. I wanna taste you one more time ag-…"

His ringtone finally ceased, and Ryan drifted into a deep sleep, refusing to dream.

--XxXxX--

TBC...

Awkward situations and break-ups to come…