1st December

Not funny. Peeves the prick just bombed us with water bombs and when that got boring he moved onto flour. What a bastard! I'm soaked and covered in flour and the bath in the prefects bathroom is taking forever to fill up.

It's such a crap prank anyway. Nick (of the nearly headless variety) informed me that he's been doing it for years. He'll probably be pulling it when my kids come here. (Ew, not that I'm planning on pushing any kids out but you know what I mean.)

5th December

Oh, my god. That's it. My childhood has officially ended. Mum and Dad are going to Germany for their twenty year anniversary or something, I don't know, and I don't care because this means that I have to stay at school for Christmas.

Germany. I ask you. I mean what's Germany got that home hasn't? Sausages and lederhosen, that's what.

Oh god. No stocking. No special Christmas Eve dinner with Grandma and Grandad. No muggle TV specials. No Wizard of Oz!!

Oh my god! I know I'm nearly 17 and will be a legal adult in like a month and should be past childish traditions like this but…it won't be Christmas without a row with Petunia.

11th December

Oh bloody bloody bloody hellfire. Guess who's decided to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas? Yep, that's right: James Potter and Sirius Black, otherwise known as the boys who have no mission in life except to annoy me.

When Potter mentioned it I actually squeaked "What? Why?"

"I see you can barely contain your excitement." said Black drily.

"Well, you see it's a full time job being your stalker Evans," explained Potter seriously. "And you're staying, so I am too."

"And ever good soldier needs someone to watch his back" Black chipped in cheerfully "Et voila, here I am."

Can he speak French by the way? I must ask him.

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Oh wait that wasn't funny." I said. "You should be a double act."

"Double act?" repeated Potter, looking nonplussed. Stupid purebloods, they've got no idea about the muggle world. I don't think they've got round to comedy yet, they're a bit behind, the magic community.

"Two comedians who work together…like French and Saunders?"

Blank looks.

"Whatever, Lily. Why are you really staying?" asked Riva. She doesn't get the muggle references either. My friends are fools.

By a weird coincidence Potter's parents are going away too, although it's because his mum isn't very well, not because they've managed to not kill each other for twenty years, like mine. And Black hates his family. I heard from Evanna that he lived at the Potters in the holidays because he hated them so much. I think he's a knob, but it takes guts to walk out on your family. So anyway, obviously if Potters not going home, Black isn't either. (How weird would that be? Christmas day, all around the table- more turkey Sirius? Oh yes, thanks Mrs. P, it's a shame James decided not to come…awkward)

Which means that I'M stuck with them over Christmas, unless I can persuade Rivalee or Evanna to stay with me. I tried that with Mary though and she was like er, no.

I love my friends. I'm glad to see that they care so much over my welfare over the holidays. I'd stay with them.

(Ok, probably not. But I never claimed to be the best friend ever *cough* like Riva *cough*)

15th December

Evanna is officially my best friend. I nearly cried when she said that she'd stay with me.

Although I have a sneaking suspicion that it has less to do with me and more to do with Sirius effing Black. Yeah, Eva, I saw you flirting at breakfast.

What the hell is it about the Marauders? They're not that great. And now Eva's flirting with Sirius and Mary's all loopy for Lupin (see what I did there? Be impressed). Personally, I think that there is WAY more chance of Sirius and Evanna getting together than there is of Mary and Lupin. I mean, I think Sirius quite likes Evanna, and they did used to go out with each other in fourth year.

There's just one tiny little problem- Sharon Cauldwell, Black's increasingly clingy and paranoid bunny boiler girfriend. You know she practically clawed my eyes out the other day because was talking to him. All I was saying was that Slughorn was going to kill him if he blows up another potion, and I'm not going to stop him. In fact I'll hold Sirius while he does it. And this, according to crazy bitch Sharon, counts as flirting.

She's got a screw loose. Even if he doesn't fancy Evanna, Sirius should get out that while he's still got some balls. Because if he goes any further, she is going to pull them off. With her bare hands.

16th December

Thank god it's the last day of term tomorrow and we have Hogsmeade on the 18th. The only thing is, Potter asked us if we wanted to go into Hogsmeade with them and Riva said yes before I could say no. And Mary's worrying about what to wear and I just feel irritated because I've TOLD her Lupin's not interested but she's still trying to impress him. Gah!! Friends are so annoying!!

I think I'm premenstrual.

No, I'm not. It's just that THE WHOLE WORLD IS SO ANNOYING!!

17th December

OH GOD, NOOOO!!!!

PETTIGREW has decided to stay at Hogwarts for xmas. Why why WHY?!

I made Riva tell Evanna. There was no was I was going to let Evanna know that her stalker is staying here too, when the only reason she's staying is to keep me company.

We could have gone to Eva's, but she hates her step mum and there's not much room anyway with all her half-brothers who regard Eva as this freak because they're muggles.

I could have gone to Riva's, but she's going to Hawaii ith her parents like she does every goddamn year.

And Mary's parents are really really strict and I would have more fun here with only Potter for company than if I went to her house.

(And I was premenstrual by the way. But I swear to god that wasn't the problem yesterday. I actually asked myself: is this hormones? And the answer was no. But now I think the answer was yes...)

18th December

Hogsmeade trip today. It was fun, but bloody freezing so we spent most of the time huddled up in the 3 broomsticks watching Black and Potter attempt to flirt with the new barmaid, Rosmerta. As if she's interested she's like 25 and looks like a model, and they're scrawny sixteen year olds. Black took advantage of the fact that he was able to legally buy firewalker while Potter was stuck with butterbeer, but Rosmerta was just like isn't it past your bedtime?

I think I could get along well with Rosmerta.

A bunch of Slytherins in like third year started trying to get us to fight or something, the weird little shits. Slytherins. They just don't get the heirarchy of the school do they? Rosmerta kicked them out.

Rivalee, however, missed most of this because she spent most of her time flirting with some guy in the pub, who was definataly not a student, but she seemed to know quite well.

Potter was being really nice today, but quite flirty and touchy feely. Mary accused me of flirting with him. Oh, yeah, ok.

22nd December

So. It's just me, Eva, Black and Potter. Oh, and Pervboy. But he doesn't count.

Me and Evanna have spent a lot of the time avoiding him. Ewwww, he is so gross. I decided to be a good friend and go and talk to Sirius about it (he can be Evanna's knight in shining armour…puke puke.) but I'm not sure it went so well. This is what happened (roughly, it's not like a total transcription there was no one to write it down or anything, and I'm not memo the memory man)

Me: Can I talk to you?

S: (grunts) What about?

Me: Evanna. (Well, THAT gets his attention pretty quickly. He sits bolt upright)

S: (urgently) What?

Me: (smiles to self- well that's what I tried to do because I thought it would sound good, but I don't think it was very secret because he saw it and got all grumpy.)

S: I thought it was going to be something important.

Me: My, my, aren't we hormonal today? Or is it just concern for you "ex-girlfriend" that's made you cranky? (I know, I know. That may have been the point where the conversation wnet wrong. Or the "secret" smile.)

S: (glares) Hows your little mind games with Prongs going?

Me: What mind games?

S: The one where you flirt with him and make him think he's got a shot, then turn him down.

Me: I DON'T FLIRT WITH JAMES!!! And anyway, you're just as bad with Eva!

S: (smirks) You just called him James. Maybe it's not mind games…?

Me: (tries to swallow irritation- why am I talking in present tense? I HATE it when people do that! I'm going to stop now) Look, I didn't come here to bicker I came here to ask you to do something about your friend-

S: I'm not listening to you bitch about Prongs.

Me: Oh, it's not Potter!

S: Then who? Lupin?

Me; No, not Lupin you stupid twat, bloody Pettigrew that's who!

S: Oh.

Me: Yeah

S: Oh.

Me: Yeah. (I realised that this could go on for a while so I carried on.) He's a creep and he's weirding us out and she doesn't even like him- in that way (didn't want to insult his friends again, he gets quite violent when you do that) Kay? Thanks.

I stood up to go, but he grabbed my wrist. "We have tried you know. Me and James and Remus. We've told him."

"Well, you don't seem to have made much of an impression on him." I said.

He grinned "We'll try again. Promise."

So. A success? Have I saved my friend from the clutches of Pervy Pettigrew? Will Sirius Black rescue her? Find out in next weeks episode!

What does he mean, mind games????

24th December

Oh. My. God.

OH. MY. GOD.

AHHHH!!!! The most embarrassing thing just happened!!

So, I went to the library to drop off a book and on my way back Potter appeared from nowhere. He literally walked out of a wall and scared me half to death. I nearly had a bloody heart attack.

Anyway me and Potter were walking back to the common room just chatting and I tripped- I'm not sure what on. Dust particles probably.

And Potter caught me and we did that weird movie thing that we've done before where we seem to move in slow motion and end up looking into each others eyes. It's like a bad mills and boon book. (are there any good mills and boon books?)

And for a second- just a tiny winy split milli second- I was visted by the urge to kiss him.

I did NOT just admit that.

Clearly I'm going mad. Luckily the larger, much more normal part of me was like NOOO DON'T DO IT!!

And thankgod just then our weird film moment ended right then because we heard this huge "woooOOOOO!" right above us. It was Peeves and he was cackling like a lunatic. Which he is. Potter shot this spell at him (langlock or something which I am so going to test out on Black) and off zoomed Peeves leaving me and Potter alone.

Then Potter did this double take thing as he glanced up. So I looked up. And nearly had another heart attack. (Not a good day for my heart) There was a sprig of mistletoe over us.

Yes.

Mistletoe.

MISTLETOE OVER ME AND JAMES POTTER.

Bloody house elves.

He did this weird little smile and bent down to kiss my cheek only I was still freaked out about the mistletoe and my brain wasn't quite in gear so I didn't click what he was going to do, so I moved my head slightly and he kissed me on the lips.

HE KISSED ME ON THE LIPS.

Very gently, very softly but very very nicely.

WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!

I mean it's POTTER. He talks and I think "you talk such bullshit". I look at him and think "you're so arrogant". My heart doesn't flip, I don't smile involuntarily...I just don't like him in that way!

So why am I so worked up over a kiss? For gods sake Lily, grow up!!

26th December

Yesterday was woken up at the crack of dawn by a sound like a canon blast. I opened one eye blearily to see Evanna stumble across the room, so I snuggled back down. She opened the door, let out a scream, I sat up and went for my wand but missed and hit the bed post (owww) and Eva barrelled backwards into the nearest bed. (Mary's.)

And in jumped Potter and Black, grinning all over their smug little faces.

And I had no make up on. And the rattiest pyjamas I own. Obviously. If I'd been wearing the nicest pyjamas in the world and my make up was perfect, no one would come and see me)

I yanked my quilt right up and over my head so hard that all my presents fell off the end.

"Get OUT!" yelled Evanna.

"Morning ladies." I heard Black say and I could just TELL he was smirking.

"How the hell did you get up here? I thought the staircase was enchanted!" I shouted, poking my head out so I could send evil glares at them, and hope that today was the day that my superpower of laser-beam-eyes revealed itself.

It didn't.

"It is." said Black, plonking himself on Evanna's bed while Potter sat at the end of mine. "We climbed up the bannister."

"Good, eh?" siad Potter proudly. "It was Padfoot's idea." Black lay back on Evanna's bed with a self satisfied smile.

"Congratulations." Eva said sarcastically. "Now get the hell out of here before I curse you."

"Empty threat." countered Black. "Your wands here."

Evanna and I exchanged a glance. Then she shrugged and got out of Mary's bed. Black and Potter stared at her- she was wearing shorts and a strappy top and looked like a supermodel, the bitch- so I kicked Potter.

"Stop gorming." I hissed.

"Jealous?" he smirked. So I kicked him again, harder, and he got up, rubbing his leg. Good.

"Aw, come on Evans, admit it, you want me." he said.

"Am I that transparent?" I shot back. "And here I was thinking that I was keeping my obvious lust for you well hidden."

He blinked, then grinned again. "Ok, you win."

Boom. Yeah I won. In your face.

"Budge it Black." said Evanna "This is my bed."

"Does this mean we can stay?"

Evanna said "Yes." just as I said "no." So then we looked at each other and had a silent mind fight, while the boys stared at us.

Eventually I sighed. "If you must."

Potter cheered but Evanna suddenly looked worried "Hey, where's Pettigrew?" she asked "He's not coming is he?"

"Wormtail?" Potter snorted "He still in bed the lazy sod."

Evanna looked relieved and Black gave her this little glance that makes me think that he's not just looking out for an ex....he LOVES her, he wants to HUG her, he wants to KISS her...

ANYWAY.

They wanted to open presents with us so we said we'd meet them downstairs. We leant them Riva and Mary's pillows (which are now covered in filth- honestly the house elves are useless. All they care about is hanging fricking mistletoe up) and they slid down the stairs.

As soon as the door was shut we sprang into action, getting dressed and made up in 12 1/2 minutes,which I thought was pretty impressive. The boys didn't. They were slobbing on the sofa in hoodies the scruffy gits.

"God, what took you so long?" moaned Black, sitting up, then raised his eyebrows when he noticed my dress. (admittedly, quite short) "Aw, Evans, you didn't have to get all dressed up for us." he grinned.

"Or get dressed at all..." said Potter, looking at my legs in a way that made me wish I'd put jeans on. Flares preferably, even though I hate them. Or a tent.

"Looks like Evanna didn't." said Black as she tripped down the stairs behind me in a skirt that was WAY shorter than my dress. Black could hardly take his eyes off her. She knows how to get his attention doesn't she? Ooh, why would she do that?...oh yeah, because she WANTS him.

So we opened pressies and lazed around until it was nearly dinner, when Eva made the boys go and get changed. When they came back, Black offered Eva his arm which she OBVIOUSLY took so I had no choice but to take Potter's arm, while Pettigrew perved away behind us.

Dinner was amazing, but I ate too much, quelle surprise, and I kept feeling Potter's eyes on me which made me feel self concious that I had gravy all round my mouth (so, I like to drown my food in gravy. Is that really such a crime?).

Pettigrew wasn't feeling very well so he went to see Madam Pomfrey and we spent the afternoon sitting on cushions sliding down the boys staircase, which was funny but not as hilarious as when Longbottom and his girlfriend came out of his room right at the top of the tower and slid all the way down.

After we got detention (stupid Potter- his idea, so his fault) we sat by the fire talking for ages, until like two. It was actually a really great christmas. Especially once I taught everyone the words to the Wizard of Oz and we sang them and danced around. Then it was a real christmas. You know, I never thought I'd say this, but the Marauders sometimes aren't that bad.

A/N Please review!! =]