Title: Winter Sonata
Fandom: Bleach
Disclaimer: Bleach is Tite Kubo's. Really.
Pairing: Ichimaru x Matsumoto
Summary: He promised to come back to her in winter. But will he fulfill the promise that even she had forgotten?
Rating: Teen
A/N: This chapter is centered around Rangiku. Sorry about the terrible time set, cause this is before the first chapter.
x.x.xXx.x.x
-CHAPTER TWO: THAT TO TALK OF ONE AND NOT UNDERSTAND-
x.x.xXx.x.x
Matsumoto Rangiku had another hangover, and it was not her first after Gin left.
After Gin left, she and Kira had drunken themselves silly, to an extremely tipsy state.
She would often remember what they talked about. It was always about Gin. One common thing that they lost and they valued. The biggest difference was that he respected Gin, and she loved Gin.
"He was a great guy"
Rangiku agreed, no matter how drunk they both were at that time. Gin was a great guy. Was. Past tense, he no longer is.
They felt that they were just being used the whole time. Her despair drove her to trust him; and now he had left her in a deeper despair than she had begun with.
Damn him.
Rangiku felt like she wanted to kill him; yet she does not know if she could. If she could defeat him; and if she could actually raise a sword against him. Him; her former best friend, or perhaps even lover.
If she did kill him when she sees him, she knows she'd lose him forever. But what difference does it make? She's lost him anyway. And if he comes back, he'll be killed.
So what difference would it make?
Impossible. It's impossible that he would just waltz into Soul Society and not be harmed in any way. Not after what he'd done. Even if he was to beg and plead on his knees, they'd throw him in jail. And kill him.
What he'd done. She wanted to believe that it was not him, but Aizen. That he was magically put under Aizen's control. She knew that he realized what he was doing, but she didn't want to believe it. He was now another enemy; an enemy that was dangerous. An enemy that had to be killed at sight; or die trying.
She would sometimes think it'd be better if he won; that she'd rather have everyone die than him dead. Matsumoto Rangiku thought it was unfair; everyone else could simply hate him because he is the enemy. But she could never hate him; she was torn between these two feelings. One she was obliged to have and the other one opposed to it.
Who could kill the person that they love?
But the rest of Soul Society did not love him as she did, and so if he came back; she would be the only one not tearing him apart. She'd be hiding, closing her eyes as she knew he would lose alone. She did not want to see him die, ever.
If he returned to Soul Society, he'd be dead. Gin was better off away, far far away and alive; rather than here and risking certain death.
She knew very well that it'd end up like that. Yet she wanted to see him; for him to come back. The other part of her heart screamed at her to let him be; knowing he was alive but far was better than him being near but dead.
For Izuru Kira, it was obvious that Ichimaru Gin was his idol; as his captain. He was willing to protect him at all cost; even almost becoming a monster for him. Kira raised his swords against her, against Hinamori. He fought against his own friends with every intention to kill them, just for a captain who never recognized him as a friend. Just a subordinate. Just a subordinate.
It wasn't like Kira to do that. He used to be free and careless; just like her. They'd play together, fight together, but never against each other. At least not in a serious battle.
Everyone's changed. Kira had said those exact words. He too had changed; and perhaps she had changed too. A little bit of her was taken away; a small glint was lost from her eyes when Gin left her.
But Matsumoto Rangiku thinks that Gin had changed the most, but now she had wondered if she knew him enough to say he had changed and was not like this from the start.
The sake loosely gripped in their hands made no difference to their conversation last night; their words were still as true as they would be if they were sober, except this was a little more honest.
All the words that came from her heart were blends of hatred and love. She hated him; or the fact that she loved him. He was an enemy, a person she should be willing to fight whole heartedly for the safety of everyone else she cared for. Yet in her heart; there was no space enough to fight him.
When she challenged to fight him that day to save Hinamori she wasn't sure. She was determined; but that was because she knew he would not fight back. Yet if he had accepted the challenge and fought her instead, she did not know if she'd be strong enough to fight back. She knew she was not physically strong enough to win; but her heart refused to fight him.
At fights like that, losing would mean death. It was a matter of life and death.
Rangiku cared for her Taichou a lot; he was like a little brother who was way more mature than her and easy to annoy. She liked him a lot, as a friend. So she promised herself not to let this one friend go; that she will help him at all costs.
If Rangiku had been given a choice, she'd probably kill herself than give them an answer.
Hitsugaya-taichou didn't really care. It was only that one time when he caught her staring at his picture as it burned in the fireplace that he ever asked her about him. Toshirou Hitsugaya had asked her if she cared about Gin that much.
She did not hesitate to say no, but Hitsugaya stared at her for a moment; as if unbelieving. Then he left.
Rangiku knew that her Taichou knows her better than that and that he knew she was lying. But she just wanted to lie; she did not want to betray her friends by being concerned of the well-being of her enemy; or more. It didn't matter if they believed her or not, but she'd still say the same answer.
After all, he was no longer a part of her life. He was no longer there for her; unlike her friends. Yet the space he had occupied in her heart during the times when he was still there had not been vacated. For Matsumoto Rangiku, Ichimaru Gin was simply still there.
Izuru Kira also had a hard time accepting the fact that his much-adored Taichou was a traitor. A traitor. A traitor who had betrayed him and the rest of Soul Society.
He had them all deceived.
It was as if deceiving was his natural ability. Everyone thought he had something against Aizen, yet it turned out that they were allies; allies that had been involved for a long time. Aizen Sousuke had illusions on his side to help him, but Gin had nothing. He was in a way invisible, no one really knew him. Not even Kira.
And even in that situation, Kira would defend him until his last breath.
He had said so himself during their talks at night when they were drunk. The one night they let go of all their responsible acts and just be free and wild together. Just like when they were younger, except so much had changed. The same person had struck them down.
They knew him as the cold, unfeeling yet always smiling Taichou of the third division. The mocking smile that had made others depicted him as a fox; personality and all. But they knew him better than most people did, at least; a little more.
Matsumoto once thought that she knew him well. Now she realized, she knew him, but she did not understand him; no matter how long they've been together. He was indescribable mentally; he still would not open up.
When they were younger; much younger, Ichimaru Gin had been far more open than he is now. But even if she had known and understood him more then, she could tell that most of him had changed.
People changed. For the first time, Rangiku noticed how much the people around her had changed.
Even Hitsugaya had changed. He had always been more mature than her despite his age and appearance. But the whole ordeal seemed to have made him stronger; the flames of hope that burned strongly in his eyes sparked more. Even Rangiku could see he wanted to be stronger; for Hinamori.
The Ryoka boy had become much stronger and had become less reckless. Byakuya became less cold. Renji had become less hot-headed.
She was less cheerful.
Matsumoto Rangiku would be still talkative, but the smile would disappear more often from her face. Her pouts were more of a serious frown. She didn't think that his leaving would affect her so much.
Perhaps it was because she's never been deserted by anyone before; well, he had left her once before, but they met again. Now, he was an enemy. It would be almost impossible to meet him and just talk to him as they used to do.
Kira and she had often talked profoundly about Gin, but they never mentioned any negatives about him. They never did, and she thought that they never would. They both insisted on believing that it was all Aizen's fault.
They did not want to believe that the person that they looked up to was a criminal; a traitor to all of them. They didn't want to believe that they too had been tricked to believe his trickery. Both of them could be called as the people that seemed to be closest to Gin, but they too did not understand him.
No one did.
He was a great guy. Rangiku pondered whether she really agreed on Kira's statement. Gin had saved her life, but he had also ruined it.
Ruined. Total destruction or disintegration. He never really did anything except broke her trust of him. He destroyed the relationship they've had over the years; no matter how much it had declined.
Gin had broken her heart.
She would remember how people had suspected her of having a romantic relationship with him. She would always deny it. People would say that she was close to him, that she was dating him.
They said that if anyone wants to find out anything about Gin, they should ask her.
But it wasn't true. She knew him; but she didn't understand him.
Kira knew him too. But he didn't understand him either. It was as if he had a world of his own behind the smiles.
Your eyes are the windows to your soul. Yet she could not peer into that soul to see what he was like. He would close his eyes and put up a smile as if everything was well. No one really knew what was behind those eyes.
Izuru Kira seemed to be shocked of his captain's betrayal. Rangiku never thought that Kira was that gullible, yet everyone seemed to be puppets in this whole ploy. Mere living puppets.
She remembered how Kira and she had argued whether he was good from the start. From the extent of Aizen's plan, they could easily figure that they've been plotting it for a long time, but of the times before he met Aizen.
They didn't know; nor could they tell why he joined in Aizen's lot. Aizen wanted power; they could tell, but what was in it for Gin? He'd still be just Aizen's minion. Just like Kira was his minion.
She wondered what they were to Gin. Just people, who would perhaps talk about him, are close to him. People who knew him, but not understand him.
They thought he was a great guy; but perhaps he was. A long time ago.
People changed. He was a great guy. But he was no longer a great guy to Soul Society. He was still the love of her life; he was still great to her knowledge. Bu to everyone else's understandings, he was nothing.
Nothing but a traitor they must destroy. A disturbance.
They would talk about him often, like she and Kira often did. But they didn't understand him either. None of them did. But it didn't really matter to Matsumoto Rangiku.
She'll always talk about him; just to remember him. Just to remember the good times that they used to share, just to remember how great of a guy he used to be. Used to be.
"Matsumoto-kun" Kira appeared at the door, "can I talk with you?"
She smiled and ushered him in. They'll still talk about him, even if they know they'll never understand him. At least not completely.
And once again; they'd talk about the one they didn't understand.
x.x.xXx.x.x
- END CHAPTER TWO: THAT TO TALK OF ONE AND NOT UNDERSTAND-
x.x.xXx.x.x
A/N: I don't think this is as good as the first chapter; but I've been busy recently and I'm dying to fulfill my 2 weeks per update promise and it has been exactly 2 weeks since my last update. Thank to everyone for reviewing and adding stories to your favorites. I love you guys. Thanks for reading this. REVIEW PEOPLE!! I hope you liked it. I guess it was kind of confusing; I mean this chapter is kind of repetitive. It's shorter than the other one.
And here are some replies to the reviews I have that weren't replied last chapter.
bleedingRose11- Ya jahat lah; kan antagonist. Dasar.
frozenalchemy- Yay!! Thank you!! Your story is awesome!! XD
BeatleBomb- Thanks for reviewing my other story!! I loved your story too!! I hope you like this one too
Shichimaru Gin- I'm really glad you liked it!! I don't think this chapter is as good as the other one but I hope you'll like it!! I write to please the readers; or die trying.
passer-by- I'm going to alter the POVs every chapter. I appreciate you asking XD Pass by more often and drop some reviews while you're at it. Heh heh.
ChocoMilk- Thanks for adding it to your favorites! I hope you continue to read and like this story.
Also another thanks to Crazy Bubbling Blonde for adding this to your story alert list, and more thanks to goddess of wind 44 and rosemec for adding this to your favorites too.
Love, erased rainbow 2007.