DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters.

Thirteen

When Brenda pulled Ned's car around the fountain and in front of the house she wasn't surprised to find him sitting on the steps wrapped in the biggest coat he could find.

"How long have you been sitting out here?" she asked tossing him his keys as she sauntered up the steps.

He stood to meet her. "I stopped counting. Edward's been worried about you."

"I would have thought he stopped worrying about me in high school."

"Where'd you go this time?" Ned asked as she opened the door and walked into the house, leaving him to close it.

"I just drove around. No where specific."

"You were gone for a few hours."

"Sometimes it takes a few hours to recover from Carly and her perfect life," she sarcastically muttered under her breath. "I'm tired so I'm going to go to bed," Brenda said as she left Ned standing in the foyer by himself.

Brenda was wrapped in a blanket, sitting by the window looking at the stars when her phone started vibrating on the nightstand. She didn't even have to look at the number to know who was calling.

"Hi," she whispered into the darkness.

"Are you okay?" Lois asked.

"I'm fine. Just temporary insanity."

"What happened? Ned called and said that you just up and left the reception. He was worried when you were gone for so long."

"I just needed some time to think. It's hard to do that in a house full of people. I needed to get it out of my system without anyone else around to watch."

"So you drove around?"

"I visited Lily. I haven't been there in a long time."

"And did you figure everything out?"

"Sure, just as I do every time I start thinking that my life could have been so different. My little boy should have been named Stone, not hers. She doesn't deserve that. She didn't know him."

"But she didn't name him. Sonny did. He's still honoring Stone whether or not Carly understands the real significance."

"It shouldn't mean anything. I don't know why I'm making such a big deal out of it."

"Because every once in awhile we have to think back in the past to realize how great the present is."

"How great is the present?" Brenda questioned. Lois didn't answer. "My point exactly. We're both in this black hole. We focus too much on business and don't really care about the personal life right now. At least you have Brook. You know what it's like to be a mother. You've got to experience that. I'm stuck in some limbo that I can't seem to dig myself out of."

"That's not true."

"I think I'm just going to hang around here for a few more days then head out. I don't want to be some place I'm not wanted for very long."

"Take as much time as you want. The tour isn't going anywhere without you."

"Thanks. I'll talk to you later." Brenda closed her phone and tossed it onto her bed. She sat there for a few more hours deep in her thoughts before her eyes slowly closed and she fell asleep in the chair.