Okay this is a long one. I wanted to make it long since I won't be able to update until Friday or Saturday.

Thanks to those of you that reviewed. I really wish that more people would. It's extremely motivating!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. I do own Joe, Mel, and Rachel.

Please R&R.

Chapter 11

Part of me was relieved. I really did not know what to say to Edward. I think I would have just kept apologizing. I don't even know if I could do that. He always left me so breathless.

What surprised me was that the other part of me felt... disappointed? There was always a feeling of comfort and understanding when I talked to him. Once I got over the racing heart and labored breathing of course.

Sure the closeness worried me. It was just nice to have someone who I could talk to though. Someone who genuinely cared and did not expect the same back. Though I certainly wanted to give it back..

Get it together Bella. You will be done with Forks and then you will never see these people again. No need to become too close. I would have to be careful to keep my distance from now on.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful.

Well except for gym. We had to dress and participate today. They wanted to go easy on us, so they started us with dodge ball.

Who in their right mind thinks starting "easy" can involve throwing any sort of object at people and then having them dodge it. It was even worse when Emmet was on the opposite team as you. So much for using his friendship for survival.

Once the bell rang I was out of there before anyone else. I made my way to the truck and got in to warm it up as I waited for Joe. I hope he came out soon. I didn't really want to hang around the school too long.

It turns out I did not have to wait long. I saw Joe coming out with a familiar giant at his side. They seemed to be laughing pretty hard at something.

As they made their way over to the truck I was able to pick up the general topic on what was so hysterical.

"Did you see the look on Newton's face," a laughing Emmet managed to get out.

Oh it was about Mike. I really hope Joe stayed out of trouble.

"Ha ha yea. He actually thought we were going to hurt him," Joe replied.

"I know. Too funny. You know what Joe, we definitely need to hang out. You are an awesome dude."

"Heck yea we need to get together."

"You should come with me, Jasper, and my brother this weekend. We are going hiking."

"Ah that's awesome. Let me ask my parents about it tonight."

"Excellent. Look I got to go. I will see you tomorrow, right," Emmet asked as he turned to walk away.

"Yea and you can give me the details for this weekend," my brother said as he was climbing into the cab.

"K. See ya Joe and bye Bells," Emmet called as he made his way over to a silver Volvo, that stuck out like a sore thumb in this parking lot of aged cars.

I gave him a quick wave as I pulled out of the parking lot and headed home.

"I didn't know you knew Emmet," Joe began.

Before giving me time to respond he continued, "He's a cool guy."

"Yep," I responded as I pulled into the driveway.

Without giving Joe time to comment on my short response I hopped out of the truck and ran up the steps. Luckily I did not fall. I made it into the house and yelled to my mom that school was good before she could ask and ran up the stairs.

When I got into my room I kicked off my shoes and flopped down on my bed. I just lay there trying to think of anything but him. It was nearly impossible. Everything I tried to think of led back to Edward.

I eventually decided on doing my homework. Too bad this did not help either. My homework was in Calculus and AP Biology. Both classes I had Edward in.

Journalism it is. I pulled out my paper that I had started in class. I didn't really have much. I decided to think about it.

How has moving to Forks changed my life?

Well I would have never met Edward Cullen. If I had not met him, I think this school year would go by a lot faster. I would not have to worry about becoming too attached..

I just did my best to finish it. It certainly was not my best work, but it was done, so what ever. I decided to finish my Calculus and AP Biology homework.

I went through the motions of the rest of my day. You know dinner, pajamas, brush my teeth, and lay down for bed. It felt more like I was separated from my body rather apart of it all though. It was such a weird feeling. The rest of the day had pass fast though.

The next day I woke up and showered. Today I did not stand long enough in the shower to allow my muscles to relax. I felt like I wanted to put my life in fast forward. I did not want to "Stop to smell the roses"

I think that's how that expression goes.

When I arrived at my closet to pick out clothes, I did not over think it, but I could not help to make sure I was not repeating the same color for the third day in a row. I chose a black t-shirt with one of my top three college choices on it. Dartmouth college. It was all the way on the other side of the country. Wearing the t-shirt will be a perfect reminder to keep my distance and allowed me to look forward to leaving.

I decided to wear a pair of dark denim skinny jeans with it. My outfit was completed with a pair of black and gray ballet flats.

I headed down the hall to see that Joe was already up. I greeted him with a quick "Good Morning," before I headed downstairs.

Renee was already in the kitchen with a cup of coffee and the newspaper.

"Morning Bells," she greeted me looking up from the paper. "Did you sleep good?"

"Yep," I said as I turned to the cabinet for the cereal.

"How has school been going for you? I know I have already asked, but it's usually with either Charlie or Joe around. We haven't had just girl talk yet," said an enthused Renee.

"Oh it's been good. I was asked to join-" I was cut off by Renee holding her finger up at me as her cell phone started going off.

"Sorry sweetheart. I have to take this," she said before answering it. "Hello," she spoke into the phone as she walked out of the room.

"No problem mom," I mumbled as I sat down with my cereal in the seat across from the one she just vacated. Not long after Joe came down.

Once Joe and I, both finished our breakfast, we left for school.

We got half way there and had to turn back because Joe forgot his cell phone.

After an extensive search of the whole house, Joe found his phone in the bottom of his book bag. With it found we headed out again.

When we arrived at school with only two minutes before the late bell rang. I sprinted off to homeroom.

I arrived just as the bell rang. I took a different seat on the end, in the back row today. I noticed the disappointed face of Alice who was sitting in her same seat as yesterday, which was right next to my old one. I really did not feel like talking. I just wanted to keep my distance.

When the bell rang signaling the end of homeroom, I pulled out my iPod and slipped the buds into my ear. I was going to close the five minute window of opportunity between classes for conversation, before someone tried to get through.

The sound of John Mayer's song "Gravity" filled my ears. I closed my eyes and leaned back enjoying the music. Once the song was over I turned off my iPod off and put it away. Just in time for the start of class. I made sure to pay close attention to everything Mr. Mason said. I had to focus on the big goal. My future. I need no distractions.

When the bell rang I hopped out of my seat as quickly, yet as carefully as I could and left the classroom. I managed to avoid Alice completely.

I headed to Calculus. I had spent most of my morning preparing myself for how I was going to handle my classes with him. I was going to do my best to avoid him all together.

I arrived early for Calculus. I was the second one there. I took my seat and pulled out my iPod again, along with my homework. I put the headphones back in and started looking over my homework. It's a nerdy thing to do, but being cool was not a priority of mine.

After I listened to one whole song and a part of another, I decided to take off my headphones, because class should be starting soon.

I put my iPod back in my bag as the bell rang, followed by the closing of the classroom door. Edward being the last one in, made his way over to the seat in front of me. I made sure to keep my head down and to avoid eye contact.

I could feel his gaze on me as he took his seat. Maybe if I just glance up and into those eyes, I will realize I was wrong about him having an affect on me.

What I would do to feel the comfort of looking into those eyes.

Focus Bella. Now what did Mr. Barnes say. Take out the homework and a sheet of paper for the drill?

"Now guys and ladies, while you work on the drill, I'm going to come around to check your homework. So have it out where I can see it," Mr. Barnes confirming my thoughts.

After the homework was all checked, we were given independent work to do quietly at our desk. I was very thankful for this.

Not once did I look up from my desk unless it was absolutely necessary. When I did it was directly at the bored to look at example problems Mr. Barnes had put up. I tried my best to ignore the messy, bronze hair that would sneak into my view.

This time when I tried to make another quick get away, I dropped my textbook on the floor. Before I could bend over to pick it up, the book was being held in front of my face.

"Here you go Bella," Edward's smooth voice surprised me. It really should not have been surprising to have him help me, but it was.

"Erm.. Thanks," I said keeping my eyes down. I do not think I could have handle meeting his gaze. Just of the sound of his voice was more than I could take. I needed to focus on the future and his presence made it so difficult.

"Bella are you okay," worry strong in his voice.

"I'm good. I just don't want to be late," I muttered still not looking up. "Excuse me."

"Bella," I heard him call after me as I headed out of the classroom and down the hall at a much faster pace, then anyone else.

I arrived in Spanish and took my usual seat. I repeated the same routine before class started. My iPod.

I again found myself feeling thankful, when Mrs. Stevens gave us worksheets to complete using our books. We were to work in pairs.

I worked with Angela. She seemed to understand that I did not want to talk about any subject other than Spanish.

It was pretty much the same pattern for Journalism. We worked on the different forms of writing one can do. Such as persuasive, informative, narrative, and so on. It was very elementary for me.

Now it was time for lunch. The one thing I had been dreading most of the day. I wasn't entirely sure on where I was going to sit. I know I said that friendships like the one with Emmet were beneficial, but I did not want to take the risk of sitting next to Edward again.

I decided while, Mrs. Reynard was going over the dos and don'ts of writing a persuasive paper, that I could just go to the library during lunch. It would be quiet since most students would be in the cafeteria and it was very unlikely to run into someone I knew in there.

Most importantly it would leave me open to any book I wanted. Luckily our school was well stocked with all the classics.

I would also be able to stay on top of my studies if I visited the library once a day.

It was the perfect choice.

I sat in the library doing my Calculus and English homework, dreading AP Biology next period.

The bell rang signaling me to leave my hide away and face the real world. This real world included Edward Cullen.

I headed to the Mr. Banner's room at a sluggish pace. I wanted to avoid any opportunity to talk to him. I was not sure if my iPod would work again for me.

When I arrived Edward was already sitting at out table. He looked up at me as I made my way over to sit down. I did so without giving him a second glance. I simply stared forward.

"Bella are you okay," Edward asked with his voice filled with concern. I wish he would just stop asking me that.

"I'm fine. Really. Please stop asking me," I said without a hint of emotion in my own. I was still not looking at him. I did not want him to see my face, where all my emotion was threatening to show.

I was saved from further conversation when Mr. Banner got the class together.

"Okay, today I want you to clear your desks for a pop quiz. I know it's the third day, but I just wanted to see who is taking this class serious enough. I expect you to be looking over your notes for at least fifteen minutes each night. It's the only way to keep up in here. If you cannot do that, there is still time for you to switch out. Okay? Mr. Newton help me pass out the quiz."

Many panicked groans slipped out of my peers, but I felt pretty confident. I was glad that I had decided to look over my notes while in the library.

This so called 'pop quiz' was the size of a normal teacher's test. It was fifty questions and took the whole class.

I feel confident in how I did. It was a relief to not have to force myself into not talking to Edward as well.

In gym I changed quickly into my uniform, making sure to avoid any conversation. Coach Clapp decided to still go "easy" on us, but today gave us the option of playing dodge ball on one side of the gym or playing basketball on the other side.

I chose to play basketball.

I think I would have been better off in dodge ball. The ball seemed to find my head more times than the softer dodge balls did the previous day. Today just keeps getting better and better.

At the end of the day I made my way out to my truck and turned it on to wait for Joe. I was not in their longer than two minutes when I received a text from him:

Staying after to work out in the weight room. Dad said it

was okay. Emmet's going to take me home.

Joe

I sighed. Then put the truck in drive as I pulled out of the space and out of the parking lot.

This routine continued for the rest of the week.

I went through the day avoiding people as much as I could, while Joe thrived. I was happy for him. Really I was. There was no need to be jealous.

This is what I wanted. Isolation from everyone around me. Then I could leave.

It just seemed that something was missing.

Could it be I missed those eyes, that smile, that compassion and care?

Distance is what I so badly wanted and needed. Right?

Okay hate it? Love it?

Want to throw the computer at a wall, out the window, at Bella?

It gets better.

Pinky promise!!

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Thanks!!

Love,

Jane