Author's Note: I'm actually thinking of changing my user name to 'read me, rape me' hoping it would interest more slightly ont normal people to read my story, but then I remembered that it's most possibly impolite to swear in your own usermane. What if kids read that?!
I bring you- my latest masterpiece!
13- Three Queers Walk into a Bar
"You're such a prick," Harry mumbled when they drew apart from the kiss. "I don't understand how you can be so beautiful."
Draco raised one of his perfect blonde female eyebrows and smirked, tugging softly his mate by the hand in the direction of the Owl Office: "Was that an insult? Because if it wasn't, I have to say that you're not too good at making compliments."
They walked silently back into the Owl Office building and Harry paid the required fee for using their services. As they walked outside it had started to drizzle and the air had gotten cold as it often did in autumn in Scotland.
"Can we go somewhere for a coffee? We can't use any warming or water repelling spells and I don't want to get soaked," Harry asked and looked at his mate who was standing in the small rain enjoying himself.
"Really? I finally don't feel so dried out anymore and wouldn't actually mind standing for a few more minutes here," Draco answered and lowered his head to look at the dark haired girl standing next to him, shivering slightly. The blonde smiled: "It's not even raining too strong to get soaked, why are you shivering? That mini skirt suits you, by the way. Nice legs."
Draco giggled and Harry suddenly remembered the time he had spent together with the Slytherin masked as Ann. The girl, that he had been positive he will never see again, was next to him with water dribbling down her silver eyelashes. The slightly black humor Draco often used didn't have the same repercussions when he joked looking like Ann. It seemed softer, more flirtatious. And Harry wasn't immediately reminded of everything he hated and didn't make him want to retort in a rude and abusive way.
Torn out of his silent thoughts, he heard Draco say something as from a distance: "I suppose you'd like to call me Ann when I'm like this, but what kind of a name you would like to have? Candy? Dolly? Or Sweetcheaks?"
Harry blushed and leaned against the wall of the Owl Office: "How did you make your own name up, by the way?"
Draco laughed the fantastically thrilling laughter Harry had so much liked in Ann. When transformed to a female form, the Slytherin acquired a higher and much smaller voice that almost sounded like a bird's singing. And it showed when he laughed: "It was the first thing that came to my mind when you asked me."
"Oh…" Harry just stood there for a moment with a far away look and exactly when Draco had finally come up with a really rude joke about the connection between a brain shortage and becoming a female, the Gryffindor pushed himself back from the wall and started slowly walking down the street. "Let's better go."
Draco rushed right after Harry: "Where are you going? Do you even know this place?"
"No, but I want to find a place to dry off," the Gryffindor didn't even stop or wait until Draco caught up with him.
"Is there something I have missed?" Draco asked and although it wasn't really hard to keep up with Harry since he was walking slowly, the Slytherin didn't like the idea of him trailing after the other like a stray dog. "Can you stop for at least a second?! Did I say something wrong? What's up with you, Potter?"
Draco tried calling after the Gryffindor, but Harry just continued to walk away, ignoring the questions. Mindlessly the now dark-haired girl pushed open a door of some pub and strode in it.
When Draco joined Harry at a far table after a few minutes with his own beer, he sighed and said: "I'm sorry that I'm acting this dumb, but I just have this feeling that something is wrong. You know, like something is out of place and at any time everything could fall apart."
Hearing this admission, Draco decided to try another approach: "Hey, I know you are worried, but there is no real reason. I mean, we are in a clumsy situation, but in the end things will turn out okey. You'll see, after all, it's a normal thing to be cautious and think that something is wrong. Everybody gets this feeling some time."
Harry's pretty female face suddenly shot up, green eyes blazing: "Don't you dare to try and comfort me! I am not some week girl that has broken her nail. We really are in trouble and when I get this feeling it is mostly because Voldemort is up to something."
"What?! Now you're somehow the one who has seen and done so much that people like me who have spent their whole lives surrounded by Dark Magic, Death Eaters and Voldemort's authority's pressure are not worthy enough to understand the situation efficiently?! But your stupid Gryffindor friends that have been raised in a greenhouse are so extremely clever to help you and feel sympathy towards you because of the burden you bear? Is that so, Potter?"
Instead of being taken aback what Draco had expected and hoped for, Harry just sneered unsightly back at his mate and said in a mocking tone: "Oh, you poor little Slytherin, do you feel unappreciated?"
The both ex-rivals were interrupted when a man's voice came from behind: "Merlin, are you ever subtle?! Or you just lack this ability because of this horrible characteristic to always exceed and be better you both have? No living person ever could stand to be in a relationship with any of you."
The mildly sensual tone belonged to Snape who sat down at Harry and Draco's table and took a swig from his Bloody Mary. His students in the mean time were looking quite aghast and speechless.
"How did you find us?" Draco finally managed to choke a question out. He really hadn't anticipated that Snape would arrive so promptly.
"You are not too hard to overlook. With this…" he gestured in a drunken way towards the boys' appearance. "Steaming hot and angry lesbians look you both have… I understand that you needed to hide from the Death Eaters, but why did you go so radical and switch your genders? Why didn't you just grow a mustache or something?" Snape raised an eyebrow and inquired genuinely interested. "Is it some kink or what?"
Harry didn't even hear the last sentence, but bolted in his seat looking at Draco and then at the dark-haired professor: "What?! It's possible to do just that? Draco?! Why did you decide to change us into girls? Didn't I state explicitly enough that I didn't want to do it?!"
Draco just waved his small female hand, dismissing the subject: "Calm down! You're becoming hysterical again."
Harry shrieked back, getting flushed and angry again: "I'm not becoming hysterical!"
Snape just watched the interaction: "What's wrong with him?"
"He's been like acting like a girl ever since we changed. He even wanted to pick out the colors to wear," Draco snorted and it sounded very vulgar coming from Ann, not to mention it didn't have the same effect that the snort would have had if it had come from a male Draco. And of course it only offended Harry even more.
Snape just frowned and put a hand to Harry's forehead that didn't have the horrible scar anymore: "Did something go wrong with the spell?"
"Stop talking as if I'm not here! Nothing is wrong with me! You're just acting like a pair of complete and utter bastards! That is the only problem here! And stop touching me, you ugly man!" Harry screeched again, even higher that the previous time and batted Snape's hand away.
Draco laughed: "Nothing went wrong with the spell! I think it turned out perfectly well."
Snape joined the smaller Slytherin's laughter: "Yeah, Harry, I can congratulate you- you have finally become a woman!"
Harry growled angrily, but said nothing, hoping the topic would just get dropped if he didn't respond anymore.
But much to his devastation, Snape continued, turning to his favorite student: "Wait, is he a woman or still a girl?"
They both exploded in loud laughter and made the other clients of the bar turn to look at them.
"That is not your business!" Harry had decided that shrieking didn't help, so he tried yelling as loud as his female voice possibly could allow him to. But his feelings broke loose and a tear dribbled down the left cheek. Snape and Draco halted their laughter and gawked.
"Is... is he… crying?!" Snape whispered, looking at Harry and his single tear without even blinking.
Draco had fallen silent and then he pulled himself together and smirked: "The Girl Who Cried. Moaning Harry…" and then he almost fell under the table because of the eruption of his laughter.
But the Gryffindor started only crying stronger: "Why are you making fun of me? What have I done to you?"
The small girl he had become, turned away from the both Slytherins and tried to find a refuge spot where she could be on her own. But Draco achieved to regain his self-control and put his arms around his mate pulling the crying girl in his lap. His face was still twitching from barely controlled humor, but he just patted the head clad by curly deep black hair.
"I hate always being the strong one. I don't want to be the hero. I have never wanted it, but now I just can't take it anymore. Nobody understands me. Nobody loves me…"
"Everything is okey, I didn't want to make fun of you, I just was interested in how you'd look as a girl. You don't have to worry. You will get back to normal in no time," Draco whispered partly feeling sympathy for Harry, but another part of him just wanted to break down and laugh until the world ended. His tongue was sore from biting into it all the time to prevent himself from making another lewd comment.
After a small while Harry freed himself from his mate and smiled at his Potions Master a shy smile: "I'm okey, everything's fine. I don't know what came over me."
Snape just snorted rudely and took a swig from his drink: "Women!"
Harry sniffed and made a squealing noise that dreaded to end in another crying session on Draco's blouse, but the blonde Slytherin, wanting to avoid that, put a protective hand around Harry's small female shoulders and, pointing a finger at Snape, bellowed: "Don't you dare to start this over again!"
The professor rolled his eyes and took another large swig from the Bloody Mary.
"And are you trying to get drunk?" the blonde inquired in a pissed off manner.
Snape looked up and smirked: "Of course I am. Dumbledore got kidnapped-"
At this Harry woke up from his self-pitying trance: "What?! Who kidnapped Dumbledore?"
Snape snorted: "Gee, this is a hard one, Potter. Try counting Dumbledore's enemies on your fingers, a really long list there. Who else could have tried kidnapping the Headmaster and succeeded at that other then our beloved Deranged Lunatic?"
Draco giggled his girly laugh: "Imagine the both loonies sitting and drinking some tea and exchanging their views of how the world doesn't understand them."
The younger Slytherin earned a pair of angry and irritated looks from his companions: "This is really not the time, Draco," said Snape and switched subjects: "So, you two together now?"
Harry blushed a deep shade of red and Draco spilled almost his beer at the question they both had heard a bit too clearly for their liking.
"I think it would be better if would move to a safer place," Draco interjected diplomatically and got up to his feet.
The three exited the pub and were immediately welcomed into the warm after-rain sunshine by a horde of Death Eaters.
Snape drew his wand almost instantaneously and not later than that it was taken away from him by some Death Eater. Harry observed this and decided against playing the hero. Draco looked like he was concentrating hard on something, but the Gryffindor couldn't decipher out what before one of the Death Eaters spoke in a tone that vividly illustrated his lack of intellect.
"You, queers, are really a bunch of idiots," some other of the black clad men accompanied him with a roaring laughter. "We found at Snape's room at Hogwarts a letter that indicated exactly where to find you."
"Yeah, if you're in hiding you should know that writing letters that describe where to find you is not how it's usually done," another man in a similarly blockheaded manner agreed.
In Harry's head the alarms went off, he looked at his mate to find the blonde girl staring incredulously at Snape. The older man had a glazed look over his eyes as if he didn't understand anything of what the Death Eaters were saying. That only confirmed in Harry's mind that Snape was thoroughly drunk.
"What did you do with the letter?" Draco spoke in a harsh voice, a one that you usually don't address your teachers with, but it seemed that Snape didn't even register it. So the younger Slytherin yelled: "Severus!"
The older man started to sway noticeably and looked at Draco lifting one eyebrow up as if everything that had happened in the last few minutes didn't apply to him: "Huh?"
"What did you do with the letter?" Draco asked again, losing his patience.
"There's no use, Draco. I think he's either too drunk or in some state of shock," Harry interjected, but no one seemed to pay attention to him, including Draco. Everyone was too entranced into the way how Snape was acting.
"What letter?" Snape asked, evidently fighting to regain his wits.
"The letter we sent you, that said to come to Wizarding Edinburgh and help us. That letter! What did you do with it? Were you so stupid and left it somewhere anyone could read it?"
Snape stared for a moment into nothingness and then he replied: "I did not receive such a letter."
The man looked pretty damn sure about what he was saying so Harry and Draco shared a quick look amongst themselves and then the Slytherin lost his patience and exploded with rage: "What do you mean- you did not receive that letter?!"
Snape smirked: "Well, I already was in this bar when you walked in. I stared for a few moments and then realized that it was you. I was just trying to get myself drunk and had no intentions of running into you both… Oh, yeah, how did you escape the Dark Lord?"
At that moment one of the Death Eaters, clearly had enough of being ignored, yelled out and flashed a few powerful curses at the trio. Harry, Draco and Snape fell to the ground unconscious, without even having had a real chance to fight back.
Harry woke up and raised himself in a sitting position to look around.
The first thing his senses registered was that it was freezing cold and the harsh winds of Scotland were tearing at his flesh. He was still in his female form. Apparently not much time had gone by, but he found himself far from where he last remember being- in the middle of a vast field of long green grass in the middle of nowhere.
The sky was grey and emotionless, but the clouds were rapidly moving in the direction the winds were blowing. There were no trees, no people. Only in a distance of some four meters Harry located the still unconscious form of Draco.
He got up and without any hesitation ran to his mate. The slender girl's figure was resting with her blonde, long hair brushed over her face. The Gryffindor reached out and was startled to find his own girly hand that moved as if on its own accord.
Shaking the weird feeling off, he brushed the soft hair aside and underneath found the beautiful face of Ann.
The Slytherin lay on one side, one hand pillowed under the face, the other stretched out. The face showed no signs of the previous anger or the fear they both had felt when attacked. It was peaceful as if Draco had just decided to take a nap somewhere on the way of a hitchhike from Edinburgh to Glasgow.
Harry wondered for a brief moment why it was so that he didn't find it even remotely deranged to become a girl and still feel a sexual interest in his mate who also had switched his gender. He felt like magic was screwing with his mind, making him believe in one thing, although his brain wanted to refuse and struggle against the illusions of the Glamour Charms.
But one thing was for sure, the attraction towards Ann was different than the one he felt towards Draco. The intensity was still the same, as was the gut feeling he had when he was with the Slytherin- drinking, talking or either kissing, all the same. But different was the freedom he felt towards the expression of his emotions. It was as if the body of the girl aroused much more hunger and he became more avid in demanding what he wanted.
Harry suddenly remembered that one true conversation with Andy, how the man had tried to flirt and seduce Harry, but his manner had been too cautious. The Gryffindor smiled imagining what would have happened had Andy been more demanding. He wasn't sure whether he would have rejected the hairdresser even taking into account that he had believed to be straight at the time. In the past few weeks everything had changed so rapidly and quickly that when finally Harry had gotten used to one thing, the feelings and the circumstances had once again altered beyond recognition. Harry knew that he had this habit of hanging on to the past, although he had tried to change it and not let it influence him anymore, he couldn't help looking back and wondering, exploring and imagining what would have happened if things would have gone a bit differently.
But then he once again looked down at the pale face of the beautiful creature with long blonde hair that managed to shine even with no sun around.
People always showed more visibly their interest in girls than they did at boys. Harry wasn't sure if it was because of his own real gender and his orientation that made him think of things like that, but by all means he refused to start up a train of thought that would eventually lead to hearing the word combination 'the right/ correct orientation'. It would only give him a headache, after all.
But it was true that mostly when he felt that Draco looked especially handsome in a particular shirt or without anything, he would rather keep it to himself that verbalize his feelings. Whether it was because of the slight almost unnoticeable fear that the other could wake up at some point and announce that it had been a great mistake, or because girls really did provoke you to be more sexually raw and open about it.
Draco started to stir and woke up with a soft moan as if he had had a good night's sleep. The eyes opened slightly and they really were blue as Harry remembered. Apparently the glamour charm masked also some individual features like Harry's scar and the typical silver color of the Malfoy eyes so that the person really became more unrecognizable.
"Shit," was the first thing Draco muttered in his soft female voice, then yawned and stretched out like a cat. While scratching his own chest, the Slytherin's hand brushed against his breasts and he jumped up in a sitting position, startled. "Merlin, that scared me, we're still girls, right?"
The blonde raked his eyes over Harry's female form, expressing the same sexual hunger the Gryffindor had mused on just a minute ago.
"Gee, you're really bright when it comes to stating the obvious," Harry smirked.
"F'ck'ff," Draco mumbled once again yawning and not even bothering to put a hand in front of his mouth. "I just woke up, give the man a break. And I have never before woken up as a girl so I don't see why I should play the bright miss sunshine here. What happened? We got drunk and decided to have a go in the wild fields of Scotland's highlands? Was I good?"
Harry looked at the blonde a minute, trying to figure out whether his mate really didn't remember because he had bashed his head perhaps somewhere or was just still sleepy. Harry had already had time to get accustomed with Draco's not so clever self in the mornings, but then the look on the Slytherin's face straightened and he visibly swallowed the situation in which he found himself.
"Fuck… Where's Snape?" he said, getting up to his feat and looking around the field.
"No idea. I woke up just some ten minutes ago near you and nothing has changed until then. Do you think maybe the Death Eaters didn't recognize us and now are interrogating Snape?" Harry said getting to his feet, too.
But the blonde shook his head: "No, I don't think so. They explicitly stated that we also were queers and a bunch of idiots. They must have somehow known about our Glamour Charm or seen through it. What do you think they have in storage for us?"
Harry took another look around, although a more careful one this time. It did bother him, where had the Death Eaters taken Snape and whether the man was still alive. It bothered him even more that he cared. He wrote that off on after-shock.
"Hey, come and look, Harry," came Draco's shout that stirred him out of his pensive mood. "We are on a hill, and look what's happening down there."
What had appeared to be a vast and smooth field turned out to be really a large hill that was so wide that Harry hadn't seen anything underneath them in the valley. And now he was shocked. Apparently Draco hadn't been the only one to be confused and disorientated when waking up.
It was a mini-Death Eater-World Cup Finals- there stretched a wide camping area full of Death Eaters as far as the eye could see. There where Wizarding tents everywhere and black clad figures that moved restlessly around the valley. But a little further on where Draco and Harry could barely even make out the identity of the people, there was what seemed a bonfire spot. Many of the Death Eaters had arranged in a large circle around one more powerful figure that could only be Voldemort. The madman was almost dancing around two of his victims. Both were male and seemed to be on their knees.
"Um, Draco," Harry whispered and the blonde tore his eyes finally away from the horrible sight that made both of their stomachs wrench with disgust. "I think that those two are Dumbledore and Snape…"
"Yeah… But it seems careless and weird from Voldy to have left us simply on a top of a hill without any guards or even shackles. I would have really expected the trick with the glass ball once again from him, knowing how he doesn't learn from his mistakes. But why leave us here? In the middle of nowhere, I understand- we kinda' can't run away… But he should now until know that you know how to Apparate," the Slytherin rummaged around in his pockets and took out his wand. He looked at his mate with a fearful and uncomprehending look. "They haven't even taken our wands away… Are they mentally deranged or what? Come on, let's go down…"
The Slytherin took up a stride down the hill, but after a few steps in the direction of the valley stopped and was thrown back. A shield of powerful magic outlined itself around the top of the hill, imprisoning them both with no means of escape except maybe for digging.
But even this last hope was quickly discarded as a siren went off in the whole valley.
Author's Note: Sorry, I got so philosophical there for a moment;P It's just a topic that catches me for more than o moment... Hope, you'll understand.
But of course, you will! Don't take it as an offense;P You are all my beautiful and clever readers that REVIEW!! :P hehe