Chapter two- The Reunion
Bright blue eyes stared at him from underneath the lashes. Sam fought the urge to call him Sir and said just, "hi" instead. Jack was doing some struggling of his own seeing her unconscious always did things to him but now given their new status he thought his heart might break in two.
"Was Jack really here or was she just imagining him? The drugs Dr. Lam gave her were potent, but she didn't usually hallucinate a person except for that one time…
Trying to bring her thoughts together she furrowed her brows in concentration and started to speak but her mouth was dry and all she got out was "whaat"
Jack interrupted her saying, "Teal'c called me, I am sorry I couldn't make it sooner."
A lone tear drifted down his cheek and he swiped at it. Damm it what was with him it wasn't the first time she had been injured but Cam's words kept coming back to him, she almost gave up what in the hell had happened on that planet?
Distracting her he said, "Here is some water but take it easy small sips."
Suddenly the enormity of what almost had happened hit Sam and she started shaking her lower lip trembling and eyes beginning to water. Normally she could keep her emotions under control and she supposed the SGC grapevine was already in full swing with news of the General visiting but right now she just didn't care.
Jack noticed Sam's composure was slipping and he wasn't sure if she was in pain or if something else was going on but after years of not being able to touch her when she was in the infirmary due to the regs he made up his mind this time he would try his best to comfort her. He gently took his hand and brushed her hair out of her eyes and slid down to touch her cheek noticing some wetness there as well.
His soft touch was her undoing after so many years he could touch her and he was and it was just overwhelming again but this time her heart filled with happiness and sadness at the same time. God, what she almost missed out on. She couldn't believe she was about to give up and die on that planet. She didn't have any regrets but the thought of not being here now was just too much. What in the world had Caroline given her? She didn't understand why she was reacting like she was and then all of a sudden she knew, before she wouldn't have lost as much not that her friends wouldn't have missed her but now it was different.
They had loved each other for years but in denial of their feelings. Now she could feel and recognize in his eyes the sadness and love shining through. Usually his face didn't give anything away this time it showed everything and she knew that same thing was shining in her eyes as well. For a long time neither spoke, both of them soaking in each other's presence. Words were overrated Sam decided letting the love for him shine in her eyes she gently removed her hand from under the blanket and grasped his settling her fingers over his entwining them gently stroking the top of his hand.
"How are you feeling" he asked knowing she would probably just say fine.
She debated on her usual fine but decided no, that was in the past before they hid their feelings and pain from each other she was determined not to do that now.
"A little sore the Ori staff is much more powerful than the usual my chest hurts and my back. I am so glad you came when I woke up before it was weird not seeing you but Cam was here he even brought me cookies but I don't like macaroons. She trailed off not wanting to but realizing her energy was fading fast and she needed some more of that pain medicine as well.
Jack who was always able to read her well motioned to her side and said, You have one of those PCA things just push the button suddenly the room started to spin and Sam was floating in a sea of tranquility. She closed her eyes and squeezed his hand.
"Don't go, stay with me"
"I'll be here just get better okay?"
"Hmm, I missed you"
He wanted to tell her he missed her as well but she was sleeping peacefully, so he touched her face gently and continued holding her hand.
Dr. Lam walked by, she hated to disturb them but she needed to check on Sam's wounds and redress them. General O'Neill still had his hand clasped in Sam's his other hand resting on her face. He knew Dr. Lam was nearby but didn't want to lose contact with her. Finally realizing his but was asleep he got ready to vacate his seat. He looked over Dr. Lam she wasn't the same as Janet but she did take good care of her patients and he knew he had made a good choice. As he started to leave, she stopped him saying,
You are welcome to come back in a little while, I just need to change the dressing. Your presence seems to be helping her.
A few days later Lam reluctantly agreed to let Colonel Carter to go home provided there would be someone there to watch her. Jack assured her he wasn't going anywhere and he would be happy to take care of her. He had plenty of leave time and was going to use it.
Vala, Cam and Teal'c came to see her off and Jack knew they had become a team again.
It hurt sometimes knowing his old team had moved on without him but looking at Sam and getting to know her in a different way it had been worth it. Even injured she was beautiful and sometimes he couldn't believe he had gotten so lucky. Now that they were at home he was determined to find out what exactly had happened on that planet. He suspected that maybe he had taught Sam a little too well about sacrifice.
For now though he would just enjoy her company and help her get better there would be plenty of time for talking later. Right now it felt so good just to hold her. Her bruising was faded and she still had some scarring from where the chest tubes were but her color was better and she could sit up and not be in pain. He laid the comforter over the sofa and tucked the edges in remembering when he used to do that for his son so long ago. Usually those memories brought sadness to him but now he could remember without the pain he had finally forgiven himself and sharing some of his perceived failure, with Sam he was able to put it in perspective. Those memories no longer hurt him.
She was still kind of spacey with the pain killers but he found he somewhat enjoyed her less inhibited side; she was free with her affection. Her goofy smile and wandering hands were a source of amusement and she was frequently teasing him saying " I wish I could …"
As a certain part of his anatomy responded to her suggestions he definitely wished she could as well.
The days passed and Sam regained some of her strength his time with her was coming to an end. He needed to get back to Washington but was hesitant to leave her. He needed to find out what happened and felt it was time to know.
"So when you were injured, Cam mentioned something about you giving up, it didn't sound like you."
She cringed knowing she would have to tell him but dreaded it just the same. How was she supposed to explain something she didn't understand herself. They say when you die your life flashes in front of your eyes. Her life flashed and she was content. She didn't have any regrets nothing left unsaid and while she would miss Jack so much her life didn't matter as much as ensuring the weapon made it.
Jack, "you know the risks every time I go out there I stand the chance of not coming back." This fight this war is too important for the future, earth's future. That weapon is our best chance right now. When I was shot I really thought that was the end no second chance no regrets at least for me I would have died but the weapon would have survived.
It's not that I gave up but for the first time I realized there was nothing I would have done different even us, I'm glad we waited and I am glad we are together now but working beside you for all those years I wouldn't have wanted to give that up even if it meant we could be together sooner. Do you understand what I am saying?"
The problem was Jack did understand and he also knew if it happened again she would make the same choice. She was no longer the fresh-faced Captain he had met so many years ago she was a woman who was confident in her abilities and leadership as well as herself. In essence, she did exactly what he would have done in her situation he didn't have to like it but he could live with it.
"C'mere"
"I would hate it if you died but I also know right now you are needed here. Your choice, Sam it always has been.
"You know what she said smiling, "You are the reason why I still go out there even put up with Cam leading the team. Which I hate but it does give me the chance to concentrate on the science and technology without all the paperwork that comes with leading a team."
He always wondered why she didn't challenge Cam for the lead position and now he knew why.
"I love you and never think I don't want to come home or survive but if my life makes the difference in this war it will be worth it, and I seem to remember you telling me something similar once."
He didn't' remember much about after he had taken the download but that conversation and the one onboard the ship stuck in his memory. If they could find the Lost City and stop Anubis it would be worth it. On the ship when he gave her command of SG-1 and the "I know" he wanted to say so much more but it wasn't the right time.
He looked into her eyes and saw the love the selflessness that was Sam Carter.