A/N: I think this chapter is shorter than the rest. I am hoping to make up with the next if I can. So this chapter is like a continuation of Katie's concern as a sister and more revelation on what happened to Emily.

Disclaimer: I don't own skins, wish I do though. And all mistakes in this story is completely mine no time to reread, sorry.

Chapter 07

Naomi's thoughts was in complete mess. What the hell does Katie mean of what Emily has gone through after she went away? Naomi starts to worry. Did she hurt Emily in more ways that one? Naomi can feel her heart beating so fast, afraid of what could she possibly have done worse? I mean, she knows she have hurt her, but the way Katie said it, it seems that it was more than that. Is there? Fuck, she needs to know. So Naomi quickly grabbed her things and shove her's and Emily's workbook that she borrowed this morning to her bag and hurriedly stood up. She does not know if what she is doing is right, but she's desperate to know.


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Katie and Emily has been walking for about some time now and when they arrived at a deserted area of the parking lot at the back of the school Katie suddenly turn around to face her sister.

"What the fuck are you trying to do with yourself Ems?! Are you fucking out of your mind again? Talking with HER???", shouted Katie, slightly surprising Emily. Emily started to speak but Katie is not yet finished. "I asked and begged you to come back because we missed you. Mom and Dad was worried. I was worried. But I know you need it so I waited. And then you fucking come back only to go back with her again? Are you honestly trying to tell me that ALL those work you did was all for nothing? And that just one look at that bitch got you going back to step 1?".

Emily looked at Katie and she knows that Katie is just concern at her. She appreciate it but Katie needs to know that there is nothing to worry about.

"Katie, there is nothing to worry about, ok? I am strong now, I can handle this ok? Trust me.. "

"Trust you? Emily, you are walking on thin ice here! How will I know that with this little chat from here and there will not make you blind again?"

"It wont! I dont fucking love her anymore, ok?! I wont let her or anyone for that matter hurt me again like that.. I have practically fucking swore it to my self. But avoiding her is not the solution Katie.. Avoiding her is just like avoiding facing one's problems.", Emily calm down and look at her sister.

"Katie.. one thing I have learned from therapy.. Is never to run away from problem's ok? I know you're just scared that I might breakdown again.. "Emily paused seeing that Katie trembled after what she has said. It all dawn to Emily that this is the first time that they have discussed about her therapy and breakdown after she get back. She never realized how this affected her sister but now she saw that it was terrible for Katie as it was terrible for her and Emily started to hug her as she saw Katie tears starts to fall.

Emily was on therapy the whole summer before second year of college and the early part of it which is where she met JJ, and though she recovered fast which practically gave her the confidence she has through out the remaining second year this was not really discussed at home after she came back to Bristol and decided to continue University here instead.

"I was so fucking scared Ems. I never seen you that vulnerable before. You practically have to take pills for you to calm down. And I was also blaming myself because I knew that my not wanting to accept what you are is adding to your pain. Mom and Dad knows it also. We all talked to the therapist you know.. ".. Emily continued to sooth her sister rubbing her hands at Katie's back slowly. Waiting for Katie to speak out her other thoughts, if there is more.

When Katie seems to not want to speak any further. Emily cleared her throat.

"Katie.. It was just a moment of weakness on my side ok? I guess I really just took it hard. I have been in love with her even years before college and thinking that she finally noticed me was.. well.. overwhelming I guess.. I did everything to make it stay that way. But I knew, that there is something wrong somehow.. I was just not wanting to accept it because I was completely in love with her..". Emily noticed that Katie has stopped sobbing and though she continued to hold her sister. Emily know that this part of the story has never been told. Katie slowly faced her, wiping her eyes that are now full of tears and Emily helping her do it, smiling sadly.

"I can now talk to her.. Be around her.. Because I am over it ok? Avoiding her just means that I am still not strong. I need to be around her to convince myself that I have finally let go of that stupid past.. So please trust me on this ok?", Emily asked looking directly at her twin sister's face and smiling.

Katie looked at her intently and then slowly nod. "I trust you.. I'm sorry about the near revelation I shouted at Naomi's face. I know she does not need to know.." Emily nodded. "I was just so angry that I want to slap in her face how horrible what she did to you that she managed to break you.."

"She did not ok? I am still here and stronger than before. Besides, what happened gave way for me to be accepted by my family right? You, dad and mom..That's whats important. That is the one that made me strong, knowing that no matter what you guys will always be there for me. ", Emily shrugged. "So something good came out of it.. ", and Emily smiled to which Katie smiled back.

"So you are ok now right?", Emily asked letting go of her sister now. "I need you to promise me that you are ok with it now". Katie looked at her sister suddenly suspicious again.. "Why?"

Emily smiled sheepishly and scratch her head for a bit.. "Well, she is kind of invited for.. you know.. tonight."

Katie's eyes widened and she starts to open up her mouth about to say something. But Emily beat her to it, "Katie... Trust me, remember?". Katie pursed her lips and then replied.. "Ok fine.."

"Promise me to not do anything to physically hurt her"

"What?!" Katie asked incredously.

"Katie, just promise.. For me.."

"Fuck! Fine, I promise! But only if she is nice to you, one wrong touch and i'll kick her face, got it?"

Emily grinned. "Got It. Thanks."


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Naomi, can't take it anymore. She has tears running down her face ruining the make-up that she carefully prepared for Emily this morning just the way as what she remembered Emily like. She tried to follow Emily and Katie and when she heard shouting that sounds like Emily.. She started to walk fast in the direction where the sound came and hid behind one of the cars in the parking lot.

"...avoiding her is not the solution Katie.. Avoiding her is just like avoiding facing one's problems.", she heard Emily say. And Naomi felt her heart clench at the sadness she heard on Emily's voice. But Naomi was not prepared on the words that came out of Emily's mouth after that..

"Katie.. one thing I have learned from therapy.. Is never to run away from problem's ok? I know you're just scared that I might breakdown again.. "

Naomi practically stopped breathing.. Breakdown? Did she hear it right? She shakily put her hands up to her mouth as she gasped. Naomi felt her tears threatened to fall at the same time that she heard Katie started to sob. My God, did I hurt her that much?

She continued to listen, hearing the pain in Katie's voice when Katie was remembering what happened. About them talking to a therapist. But when, Emily said those last few words after Katie stopped crying Naomi can't take it anymore. She did not wait to hear more. She ran. Ran back to her home. She so desperately want to bury herself in her bed right now because she is fucking hating herself all the more.. She can't and won't forget those last words she heard from Emily.. Like a chanting in her head.

"I knew, that there is something wrong somehow..."

"I was just not wanting to accept it because I was completely in love with her.."

"...I was completely in love with her.."

Naomi reached her home but then slumped herself at the door completely drained of the running and crying that she did. She raised her one hand up and covered half of her face as she continued to sob all the more. "I am so sorry.. ", she whispered while her shoulders starts to shake. Her tears now in full flow. Guilt overwhelming. "I am so sorry... ", she raised her face for a minute because she seems to not be able to breathe and took a deep breathe only for both her hands to cover her face completely now.. "Oh God,... I swear I didn't mean to.."

Naomi thinks that if only she has not been a fucking coward..

If only she been strong enough.

If only she has sorted her feelings first.

If only she has accepted that she indeed needed someone.

So many if only's but it's all too late now because she has completely fucked up Emily's life. The one person that she has completely fallin in love with and has love her back as well even with all the shit around her.