Here it is: The chapter in which Bella's new relationship will be revealed. I'm sure most of you saw this coming though! This contains a lemon, BTW!
The time was dragging by so slowly. Eight months, three weeks, and six days. Although I'm no longer alone, I am not complete with Edward.
What happens when you give your heart away to someone, and then they die? I gave my heart to Edward long before he was gone. Did he take it with him, wherever he is? Am I to walk around the rest of my life with this hole in my life that can never be filled?
The ringing doorbell distracted me, and I raced downstairs to open the door. Jacob stood there, smiling down at me before kissing me on the lips.
"Hey, Bells. You look great." He said, taking my arm and leading me to the car. "Are you hungry?"
"Thanks, Jake. And I'm starved." I replied, and he moved his hand to my waist. I tensed a little, but Jacob didn't seem to notice.
This is our third date. And a lot of guys expect one thing on that third date. Namely, sex. I knew Jacob wouldn't pressure me or anything, but I was feeling unsure. I felt very…safe around Jacob. He was nothing like the haven that Edward had been, but he exuded a form of protectiveness all the same. And he was so sweet and understanding. The poor boy had found the courage to tell me he loved me, and I had stomped on his heart. And he was giving me another chance.
Jacob and I have had our three dates in the span of three long months. I hadn't waited that long to sleep with Edward, because falling in love with him had been effortless, and took barely a month. And Edward, always the gentleman, had never fucked me unless I specifically asked him to or if we were caught up in the moment. We had made love, however rough and primal the act was.
When I gave myself to Edward, I was totally and completely sure that it was the right time. Everything had been absolutely perfect, exactly how I had always imagined my first time.
But was this what I wanted? Was Jacob what I wanted, now that I couldn't have Edward?
-----
"God, Bella. You're incredible." Jacob groaned as we stumbled through the doorway, clinging to each other as our lips desperately fused together. I dropped my keys on the table doorway we navigated our way upstairs, never letting our lips disconnect.
Jacob was definitely different than Edward, which took some getting used to. Edward was passionate, sweet, and adoring. Jacob was raw, primal, and passionate. His rough kisses traveled down my neck and I worked my fingers through his hair before gasping, assaulted by yet another painful memory.
Flashback- First Time:
"I love you, Bella." Edward whispered in my ear, making me shiver.
"I love you too." I responded with enthusiasm, locking my arms around his neck and kissing him forcibly.
"You're absolutely sure about this?" Edward asked for the second time that night, taking my face in his hands and pulling away from me so that our eyes met. "You want this?"
"More than anything." I
gasped, trying to close the space between us again by pulling him
back on top of me. We were on his bed, Edward looming over me with
heated kisses. The sexual tension was almost unbearable, and I was
having a hard time controlling myself. "Please, Edward." I
begged, reaching up to unbutton his shirt. He didn't move for a
moment, then responded with just as much enthusiasm as me.
His hands easily slid of my shirt as I continued to struggle with his. He chuckled and took his own shirt off, exposing his beautiful body to me. His hands then moved to my chest, unhooking my bra and tossing it to the side before lettings his palms slide down my chest slowly and sensually.
Edward was so perfect. He was everything I could ever ask for, and more. I couldn't believe he actually wanted me. A small tear slid down my cheek and Edward immediately stopped his assault on my breasts, looking at me with concern.
"What's wrong, baby? If this doesn't feel right, or you want to stop, just say the word. We don't have to do anything." I shook my head frantically.
"It's perfect." I whispered; my voice cracking. "Everything is perfect." He nodded and kissed my temple before continuing his work.
We had talked about this before; I was a virgin, he was not. Although Mike and I had dated for years, I had never felt that special connection my mother had always blabbed about during those awkward sex talks, so we never really did anything. I mean, we did some things, but not the actual act itself. I was understandably nervous.
Edward was pressing loving kisses down my neck and across my collarbone, occasionally scrapping his teeth against my skin. I felt like I was on fire, like I was going to combust if Edward didn't relieve my tension now.
"Please." I whispered, rubbing my legs together slightly. God, this man was actually, physically making me ache for him. He complied, gently removing my skirt and his pants, never stopping the torrent of kisses. "Please." I begged again. "More, Edward."
His fingers hooked around my underwear and pulled them down my legs, kissing every inch of skin the garment passed before throwing them to the side to join the rest of our clothing. All that was left was his boxers. I timidly nudged at them with one hand, before gaining courage and pulling them completely down.
Oh my god this is going to hurt.
Edward kissed me on the lips sweetly before lacing his fingers within mine.
"Baby, just squeeze my hand if it hurts, alright?" He said huskily, moving down on me slightly, so that his tip skimmed my entrance slightly. I moaned a little at the sensation, my knees nearly buckling with that one touch. "I love you very much." He murmured in my ear before gently easing into me, never taking his eyes off my face.
I bit my lip at the slight burning sensation, knowing it was nothing compared to what was to come. Edward kissed my lips again and I relaxed slightly, squeezing his hands a little when he approached my barrier.
"It will be over in no time." Edward assured me and I nodded, burying my head deep in the crook of his neck and taking shallow breaths.
He broke through with one gentle thrust, and I squeezed his hands hard, fighting the urge to cry out.
"Tell me when, love." Edward said quietly, kissing my earlobe. The pain was gone as quickly as it had come, and I was slowly adjusting to him.
"Alright." I said; my voice low and husky.
"Alright." Edward repeated, moving in me slightly.
"God, move faster." I ground out; squeezing my eyes shut and wrapped my legs around his waist, gasping at the new and more powerful sensation. He groaned and moved faster, kissing all up and down my body with pure passion and lust.
"Open your eyes, beautiful." He said after kissing each of my eyelids. I slowly opened them just as Edward shifted slightly, causing a wave of pleasure to wash through me.
"Edward." I moaned desperately, my back arching off the mattress as I gritted my teeth. "Oh, Edward!" I cried out, feeling the sensation that had been building suddenly snap, sending my body into spasms of pure and controllable pleasure. I felt him grin against my neck as I came, breathing heavily; his name slipping eagerly from my lips.
His movements were picking up in sped and I felt myself nearing the edge again. I knew he was close to. He came only a few moments later, biting my neck roughly as he did so. I cried out and toppled off the edge again, panting and holding onto Edward for dear life.
"That was…incredible." I managed, gasping. Edward chuckled and kissed me again, with unbound passion.
"It was, love. Thank you." He whispered.
"Thank you." I corrected him. He shifted so that we were spooned together, and he kissed my shoulder blade.
"I'm going to love you like this forever." Edward breath, and I believed him.
End Flashback
And I lost myself in Jacob's kisses, craving the feelings that only Edward could really give me.
-----
I woke up the next morning with Jacob's arm draped around me, wrapped naked in the sheets. I took one look at his sleeping face and nearly dissolved, fighting silent tears that were already pouring down my face. I can't do this. I can't live my life without Edward, I can't fully be happy. I can't manage without him.
Send out the morning birds
To
sing of the damage
Now that the calm's returned
I know I can't
manage
"Bella." His whisper came from the doorway, where he casually leaned against the doorframe. The pain in his eyes was evident, but his voice was calm. I glanced from him to Jacob's slumbering form, my shoulders shaking uncontrollably.
"I'm sorry." I whispered, standing up and walking to him, slipping on his robe as I walked. He took me in his arms, holding me like I was breakable. I had already been broken.
"I want you to be happy." Edward said in a strained voice, resting his chin on the top of my head and I curled against his body.
You're standing in my
doorway
Though he's asleep in my bed
The steady murmur
Always
in my head
"You're my everything." I assured him. "My ultimate. I will never forget you. It's impossible." My voice was shaking, and I knew that I would truly never escape the pain of what had happened.
You're the finest thing that
I've done
The hurricane I'll never outrun
I could wait around
for the dust to still
But I don't believe that it ever will
Everything had fallen apart so quickly. I had Emmet and Alice, as well as Rose, Jasper, Carlisle and Esme. But the foundation of my life had been Edward, and he was gone now. Nothing else mattered as much as it used to.
And since the roof fell
in
I'll lean on what matters
Caught in the slightest
wind
Everything else unravels
You're the finest thing that
I've done
The hurricane I'll never outrun
I could wait around
for the dust to still
But I don't believe that it ever will
Edward placed a chaste kiss on my lips before turning and leaving me there, with no idea what to do next.
A/N: Aw, I have to go cry now. Please review!
Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie