6. Wants

Renesmee's POV

I walked cautiously up to my front door, pausing at the entrance. I took a deep breath before I reached for the handle and cautiously opened the door. Mom and dad were sitting in the love seat beside the fireplace and neither of them looked exceptionally pleased.

"What took you so long?" My mom still sounded a little mad, but not near as bad as what it was at the house.

"I ran into Jacob." It was no use lying.

My dad raised his eyebrows and looked at me, obviously wanting the story. For my mom's benefit I decided to speak out loud. "So I was on my way here and Jacob must have seen me and he stopped to talk. We sort of…had a fight in the woods yesterday. I'm sure dad has probably told you all about that though."

My mom nodded, encouraging me to continue. I licked my lips, "So he came to talk about what my feelings. He didn't really understand at first, that I don't exactly trust imprinting I guess." The conversation we shared was a perfect memory in my mind. I went over it word for word quickly, knowing that my dad would tell my mom everything later.

They exchanged a glance at each other, and I knew my mom was letting dad read her thoughts. She always got a focused look when she did that, because it took some concentration.

"What about Nahuel?" She asked.

"There's nothing to tell about that. He asked me about Jacob, I started crying, and he was comforting me and we fell asleep." She raised her eyebrows like she didn't believe me, but then she looked at dad.

"She's telling the truth." He said simply.

She just nodded at him, and then looked back at me. "Nessie, I'm not sure I understand. Why don't you want to be Jacob's imprint?"

I shrugged. "That's not it. I just don't want us to feel like we have to love each other. I just want us to feel like we love each other because we want to."

"Nessie why don't you just trust what you two have? I think you're confusing yourself by trying to fight it."

I stared at her, my mouth gaping open and my breath huffing out. I was absolutely speechless, my head was completely blank. "Well I wouldn't be confused if imprinting didn't exist. Imprinting is not love. I want to experience love not imprinting."

"Honey imprinting is just like highlighting your love for him. It makes a stronger connection between you."

"The connection is imprinting, mother. It's not love." I was super angry right now. She couldn't understand any of this.

"Think of all the pain you must be causing Jacob."

She definitely just crossed the line.

"Renesmee!" My dad tried to stop the words I was about to say, but it was too late.

"Yeah mom you would know something about hurting Jacob, wouldn't you?" My voice was like venom.

She shrank back like she had been slapped. "That's…in the…past."

"Whatever."

My mom just looked at me with her mouth handing open and her eyes wide. She didn't even blink. I imagined she was picturing back when she was still human, going around hurting the two people she loved most back and forth.

"RENESMEE!" That was probably the first time I had ever heard my father yell at me. He apparently was reading my thoughts intently and they weren't pleasing him too much.

"The reason I thought I loved Jacob was you, Renesmee. Even before you were born, Jacob needed you."

"So now it's my fault?" Tears were gathering in my eyes. Half was because I was upset I had said that to my mom. I knew that one of the things she regretted most was causing Jacob or my dad pain. I knew that if she could take it back she would. The other half was because it somehow was always my fault. I couldn't do anything right.

"That's not what she was trying to say Renesmee. Nothing is your fault. You haven't done anything wrong." My dad was at my side in a flash and my mom soon joined him.

I put a finger on my mom's wrist, telling her I didn't mean what I had said. I told her I was just mad and I knew that it was in the past and it was all dealt with now. I looked up somberly at my dad. I just needed someone to blame for hurting him. He nodded at me to show me that he understood.

"Renesmee I forgive you, but I really can't let you get away with talking to me like that."

I just nodded. Being grounded was probably the least thing I deserved. I didn't really have any energy to speak so I again touched her arm and this time told her I was going to bed. There wasn't much more that I could take at 6:30 A.M.

& & &

"Nessie? Nessie, wake up."

"What?" I practically growled. I was tired of being waken up today.

"Uh, sorry it's Nahuel. Zafrina is leaving."

"Oh, oh, sorry Nahuel. I'm getting up." After I threw the covers off and stood up out of bed, I remembered what I was wearing; a black camisole and boy short underwear.

"Um…I'll let you get dressed. I'll be outside." Nahuel walked towards the door and looked back at me. His eyes seemed to linger on me just long enough to make me uncomfortable, and then he was out the door. I threw on a fitted sweatshirt that Alice had gotten me for my birthday and a pair of 300 dollar jeans, also from Alice. I didn't even look at my hair in the mirror, I just ran outside to meet Nahuel.

"Are you ready?" He asked me casually.

"Yeah, let's go."

We were running side by side through the woods. We were almost to the river when a thought occurred to me. "Hey Nahuel, does this mean you're leaving too?"

"Well, actually, I decided to stay a few extra days. My aunt is going home though."

"Oh." This surprised me. Why was he staying by himself?

We made it to the house and I ran inside to the living room where everyone was standing around saying goodbye. I ran up to Zafrina and wrapped my arms around her.

"You're leaving already? We barely got to hang out at all."

"I'm sorry, my Nessie. We aren't able to stay any longer this time."

"Well, come back soon then."

"You can count on it."

We released each other and I went around hugging the rest of the vampires that were leaving. After they had all left I wandered back into the living room.

"Cute outfit." Alice said smiling at me.

"Thanks, Alice. I really like it." I didn't even say anything about the price. I was used to being spoiled by her.

"I picked out the jeans." Jasper said proudly.

"Wow, Uncle Jazz I'm impressed." I said laughing.

"So was I." Alice's tinkling laugh filled the room.

"You're not wearing the bracelet we gave you." My mom gently brushed my wrist. My parents had given me a silver T&C bracelet. It was all I would ask for.

"Well, I literally jumped out of bed this morning and ran here. I forgot to put it on." My dad frowned suddenly and just barely glanced at Nahuel. Nahuel must have been remembering my 'pajamas' this morning. My cheeks automatically flushed and I casually walked into the kitchen. I sat down on the counter and looked at the bowl of fruit. I wasn't too big on human food, I really preferred blood but an apple looked sort of appealing. I picked it up and experimentally bit into it. It wasn't really good but it wasn't bad either so I just kept eating it.

Nahuel walked into the kitchen and smirked at me. "Human food for breakfast, huh?"

"I was just kind of feeling it this morning. I couldn't tell you why."

"Yeah, I've never had that feeling."

I just laughed. "Do you need to hunt then?"

"I probably should. I don't really want to go by myself though." He said giving me a puppy dog look.

"I guess I could go with you." I said with sarcasm. I put down my half eaten apple and hopped off the counter.

"Race ya." I said as I flew out the back door.

Nahuel was quicker to react then I had expected, and we were soon running side by side. After about six miles of straight sprinting, I started panting. It had been a while since I ran full out. Nahuel smirked at me as he passed me. He was about 100 feet ahead of me when I gave up.

"Fine Nahuel you win!" I called as I came to a stop.

I heard his laughter as he turned around and skipped back to me. "You're out of shape." He snickered.

"Shut up." I had my hands on my knees and my heart was beating wildly out of control.

Nahuel sat down in front of me and put his hands underneath his chin, making the appearance that he was waiting for me to catch my breath.

I straightened up and glared down at him. "I'm reading to go, almighty Nahuel."

He stood up and gave a little bow. "I am quite magnificent."

I threw a rock at him that he easily caught. "Are you going to keep bragging or are you ready to hunt?"

"I'm ready to hunt." He stated simply.

I inhaled deeply and caught the scent of a herd of elk about half a mile to my left. I took off at full speed, not even looking to see if Nahuel was behind me. I was determined to get the first and the best kill. The herd was in sight seconds later and I lunged for the leader. My fingertips brushed the beast's coarse fur when something smacked into my side. It knocked me out of the air in the opposite direction I was trying to go. A growl ripped from my throat as I was pinned to the ground. Nahuel was on top of me in the long grass with a wicked smile on his face.

"You weren't quite fast enough."

An outraged growl slipped out of my lips. "Are you going to let me up?" I asked impatiently.

"I'm considering it."

"Nahuel I swear if you don't get off me right now…" My voice trailed off slowly. His face was changing from amusement to a serious, focused look. He slowly unwrapped his fingers from my wrist, but I didn't move. I was frozen on the ground with Nahuel practically lying on top of me.

He started breathing a little harder than normal and I felt my own pulse accelerate. His head moved towards mine and panic started to rise in my throat. My feelings were confused enough as it was. I wasn't sure that this was the right thing to be doing at a time like this, but then again, this was what I wanted wasn't it? I had wanted a relationship other than Jacob, right?

All my thoughts were stopped short when Nahuel's lips gently brushed against mine. He was hesitant at first, but soon he pressed a little harder and my lips seemed to automatically respond. I really had no idea what I was doing to be honest. Everything about me had to be controlled and carefully managed. I had always known what was going on or how to do something, but this was something I was very unaccustomed to. It felt good though, to finally just feel free and go with the flow. But for some reason, Jacob's face came into my head. My stomach was sick with guilt. I felt guilty because I wasn't even sure I looked Nahuel this way, and I was leading him on and I felt really guilty because I knew that Jacob would have given up everything to be in this situation with me.

I pushed lightly on Nahuel chest and he automatically responded by pulling away and supporting himself on his own arms.

"Uh, Nahuel I'm not sure about this."

"Why not?" He asked me, still hovering on top of me.

I made the attempt to sit up and he immediately sat beside me on the grass.

"Well, mostly, um…"

"Jacob?" He finished for me.

"Yeah. I'm not sure how he would handle me…dating. And honestly, I'm not sure if I'm ready to date." Not that I could really handle it either, I thought as a familiar pain rippled through my stomach.

"Nessie, you're 18. Well, in maturity at least. I was under the impression that you didn't really care for Jake in that way. As you know, you're the only one of my kind that isn't family, and you're everything I would look for in a girl. I just want to try it. I've liked you for a while. If it doesn't work out, I'll just go back home and we can just be friends."

"Um, so we're just sort of each others experiments?" I was looking for an excuse out of this, I realized. Nahuel was a good friend, but he wasn't much compared to Jacob. But maybe they would be pretty even if it wasn't for imprinting.

"No, Nessie. We're each other's first dates." He looked me right in the eyes, looking for an answer.

I chewed on my bottom lip before speaking. "I think we should keep this between us for a while. Jake and I just had a fight. I really don't want to make him more upset. Plus, I don't know if my parents are ready for me dating. I technically just turned seven."

A huge grin stretched across Nahuel's tanned face as he stood up. "I know we can make this work."

He turned around and started running after the herd of elk, and I halfheartedly followed. As much as I wanted to believe it could work, the pain in my heart told me that I was just fooling the both of us. Nahuel was not who my heart wanted.

A/N: I hope you like this chapter!

Please review!!!!!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight..

I thought maybe I should throw that in there. Everyone else seems to…

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